GDFD No. 58: I thought we'd take care of it right here... in Brainerd.

Ryan Lambert
February 19 2009 03:37PM

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Welcome to the 10th Game Day Fire Drill, for this, Calgary’s 58th game of the season on Feb. 19, 2009.

Whenever I think of Minnesota, all I can think of is Fargo, which incidentally is not even in Minnesota.

But that film, arguably the best in a long line of fine cinematic work from the Brothers Coen, has ruined an entire state for me.

I'm sure it's not the most honest depiction of rural Minnesotan life, but it's certainly a) eponymous and b) lingering. Think of the way a person from Minnesota talks. "Ooh ya, fer sher we do, yup." That's all Fargo.

I know people from rural(ish) Minnesota. They don't talk like that, or really anything close. Know who talks like that? People from "Wsscahnsen."

So please, kind readers, I implore you to not be like me. Do not unfairly judge the people of Minnesota just because of a movie that makes them sound silly. Judge them instead on their crummy, crummy professional sports teams.

The Minnesota Twins. Pfft, honestly.

Who:

The Calgary Flames (33-18-6 for 72 points. Tied for third in the West, first in the Northwest) and the Minnesota Wild (28-24-3 for 59 points. Tied for 10th in the West, fourth in the Northwest)

When:

6 p.m. Mountain time and 8 p.m. Eastern time. All other time zones need to work on their footballing skills.

Where:

XCel Energy Center, St. Paul, Minnesota.

Calgary is 13-11-2 on the road this year, but won its only game at Minnesota 3-2 in overtime thanks to Todd Bertuzzi's gorgeous shootout goal. Minnesota has a 17-11-3 home record but are 1-2-0 in their last three in St. Paul, with the one win coming in overtime against division rival Vancouver. So they give away points at home, which is good. Calgary is 2-0-0 against the Wild this year.

What (to hate about the Wild):

Pretention — "Ohhhh look at us we're the Minnesota Wild we don't have to pluralize our team name la dee da!" Hey man, if you want to be taken seriously as a North American professional athletics franchise, you HAVE to pluralize. Yankees. Celtics. Steelers. Flames. These are the names of winners. So why doesn't the WILD just go have fun with the MAGIC and GALAXY. Losers.

Derek Boogaard — Yes you can punch people in the face, great. You and your somehow-more-worthless brother even teach kids how to fight. Bravo. How 'bout playing some hockey, too, you no-talent hack?

Cal Clutterbuck — Fights with a visor and has a name that's way too cool for a nerd like him.

The trap — Why yes I love watching hockey and I als..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Kim Johnsson, Marian Gaborik and Krys Kolanos — Girls' names.

Nicklas Backstrom — Wants to be the center on the Capitals and is possibly plotting to steal his life a la "The Talented Mr. Ripley."

Why?

Because if you don't keep yourself busy, this game will put you to sleep. Enjoy the game and feel free to pop a few caffeine pills before having a nervous breakdown while singing "I'm So Excited" in the comments section!

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Yer ol' buddy Lambert is handsome and great and everyone loves him. Also you can visit his regular blog at The Two-Line Pass or follow him on Twitter. Lucky you!
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#1 ngthagg
February 19 2009, 06:19PM
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Looks like Vandy-Prust-Nystrom on the fourth line, which I think is about as good as we could hope.

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#2 FlamesFanInETown
February 19 2009, 06:20PM
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Look at that, almost 10 minutes into the game, and Bertuzzi hasn't had a penalty! Is he playing tonight?

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#3 ngthagg
February 19 2009, 06:26PM
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O-zone giveaway by Bertuzzi. Give it time, I'm sure he'll take a dumb penalty.

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#4 Kent
February 19 2009, 06:53PM
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Bertuzzi should be re-named "stupid backhand pass" I think.

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#5 FlamesFanInETown
February 19 2009, 06:57PM
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I think that's what Bertuzzi means when translated from whatever language that is. :) Either that, or "Seeker of dumb penalties".

On the other hand, we're winning, and Kipper's in fine form again even with limited shots.

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#6 FlamesFanInETown
February 19 2009, 06:59PM
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Apparently I slept through the last two minutes of the period... How'd they catch up in shots?

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#7 walkinvisible
February 19 2009, 07:11PM
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theeeeere's the penalty....

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#8 Kent
February 19 2009, 07:13PM
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What an unmitigated disaster this period is. The Flames look like the NY Islanders.

Phaneuf and Bertuzzi and absolutely horrible so far. Not that anyone else is doing anything either. The PP continues to be a liability.

Bourque getting hurt is also terrible news.

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#9 FlamesFanInETown
February 19 2009, 07:13PM
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There's the penalty we were expecting!

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#10 Kent
February 19 2009, 07:38PM
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Flames turned it around by the end, but they're lucky to be tied in this game.

Jarome is MIA again so far.

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#11 FlamesFanInETown
February 19 2009, 08:18PM
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Oh, please don't let it go into a shoot-out! I have very little confidence in that. Here's to an OT win for the Flames!

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#12 FlamesFanInETown
February 19 2009, 08:27PM
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Awesome!

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#13 Kent
February 19 2009, 08:49PM
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Well, I guess if you're going to slump, you might as well do it like this. Points in six straight games.

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#14 Robert Cleave
February 19 2009, 09:01PM
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Just watched Keenan's post game presser. Apparently Bourque's ankle isn't good, and "he'll be out for a long time". He said he thought Fritsche slewfooted him. Keenan looked like a man who'd just had to shoot his dog.

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#15 merzer131
February 20 2009, 10:24AM
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I missed the game sadly last night but I like the result!!

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