GDB 74: They just don't get it in the Grand Canyon State
bingofuel
March 26 2009 04:53PM
We all know what's at stake tonight. We clearly need to win this game, and, oh yeah, every subsequent game between now and game seven of the Stanley Cup Final (am I deluded enough to think we'll make it there? No. But I AM drunk enough). If we can't beat Gretzky's mongrels, then we're royal screwed. I could take losing to the Wings. We weren't supposed to beat them anyway. And though the Oilers seem to be in the habit (sometimes) of winning games they have no business winning, then uh, surely tonight... Frick, we CAN'T lose.
But the Coyotes are in a pretty rough spot, as one Robin Brownlee pointed out today. Man, if I could buy four tickets, and a pile of nachos with that metamucil-consistency cheese on it for $70, I'd buy EIGHT tickets and TWO orders of those sick, sick nachos. The problem with those dried out mummy husks down in Phoenix is that they don't get it. They never did. Here's what they're all about down in Phoenix:
- Plastic surgery
- Golf
- Shuffleboard
- Bus tours of the Grand Canyon
- Air conditioning
- Getting old
- Eventually dying
You know what's not in that list? HOCKEY.
So while the Oilers lay down a five-alarm beating on the hapless Coyotes tonight and Wayne Gretzky ages before our very eyes, I want you to consider that in a way we're lucky. Not because we have to drop $200 a seat to go to a game and an additional down-payment-on-a-house-sized wad of dough just to drink ourselves into a stupor at RX1. But because we're in this thing, still, against all odds. It gives me and Wanye a reason to wake up in the morning. This isn't just about hockey... OK it is.
What's my point? I've forgotten. But to steal the hilarious thunder of some of our commenters, I think my point is this: "GAME DAY!!*"
*send Smokin' Ray Burnt a quarter in the mail.
Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! My protest worked.
*shoves GDB placard up the donkey of closest co-worker and runs out of office yelling GO OILERS GO*
OHHhhhh hohohoho BABY!!
LET'S DOOOOOO THIS!!!
On your list of things Phoenix is all about, you forgot about crystal meth.
I know it's nitpicking, but it's impossible to win "every subsequent game between now and game seven of the Stanley Cup Final" and make it to the seventh game of the Stanely Cup Final.
@ Blog log:
Yes, and seeing that you're so astute, you must have read the part about me being drunk, yeah?
GOOO OILERSSS!
Here's hoping the Oil can pull it off. I haven't been to an Oiler playoff game since 1990 and finally got my hands on my playoff tickets...Holy crap!!! I didn't think a loan was in order to buy them but I'm hoping it will be worth it.
Yep, let's get this done, doner than my bottle of Wodka...anyone in golden...bring me another...I'll pay , and pay lots....
Ps...Hemmer, Souray, gags and penner
4-1 OIL
5-2 Oil. Will roar back after giving up the first goal... Hemsky finally gets going... will squeek into the playoffs... geeze I hope at least SOME of these predictions come to pass!
I'm thinking that Cogliano picks up a pair tonight.
3-1 Oil
Rice wrote:
followed by an empty netter by Staios (picked randomly for shits and giggles)
GAME DAY!!!
@ Bingofuel:
I don't know where everyone is sending those quarters??? *shakes pockets*
:)
@Bingofuel & Librarian Mike,
Clearly you guys haven't been to Arizona, nor have you even looked at a map of where it is. Just to the south of that state is a little country called Mexico, hence the first three items on the list of things to do there should read:
- go on a booze run to Mexico - consume all of the booze much more quickly than you anticipated (regret is optional) - go on another booze run to Mexico
@ Andrew W:
last year when the $ was at par or better it was cheaper to drink in Arizona than Mexico.
Bingo - you forgot to mention the $12 rape errr...parking fee along with the Rexall 2K forced march across the Siberian tundra when it's -30. Yeah - noice!
Anyways - Let's doooo this!!!!!© *deftly sidestepping the quarter royalty fee*
Why am I not excited about this game at all?
Hate myself for still wanting to watch this game tonight.
I'm going to vegas this weekend....anyone want me to place some playoff wagers for them?
@Harlie Chuddy,
Yikes, maybe I'm dating myself as I haven't been down there in 15 years. Beer was cheaper in Arizona than anywhere else I've been, but definitely not liquor. I'll always remember getting two 40s of rum for $8 US just across the Mexican border, and it was good rum! We smuggled it back in 2L pop bottles...
@ Andrew W:
A Canadian smuggling booze over the Mexican US border!! It brings a tear to my eye!
Milli wrote:
@ Milli:
Put me down for 100 dollars on the team with the worst odds to win a World Series championship this year.
Money in the bank.
@Harlie Chuddy:
Oh, I've smuggled much more across the US/Canada border, and some of it had previously been smuggled up from Mexico. Did you know that it's also illegal to bring booze from Alberta to BC? I can't begin to tell you how many times I've done that - stupid BC taxes...
Man rum runs were fun. It makes me wonder why I stopped drinking.
*Quietly looks around, hoping that the good patrons of ON take pity and don't decide to ban me from the website.*
http://i39.tinypic.com/23m7tjd.jpg
At least the raging Flamers game won't interfere with the ass whooping of the season...How dare they put a crappy Flames game on before the Oil anyway!!
GDB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
any line combos?
It's kinda crazy to see all the attention Hemmer is getting from his comments. If he wanted more spotlight he got it, now it's time to put up or pack up because if he don't get his crap together I think he will demand a trade.
@ B-Rad: Well if my Mac blender program that I recently installed works, You will see... Pouliot,Reddox,Strudwick Joey Moss,Penner,Reddox Moreau,Reddox,pisani Hemmer,Stortini,Brodziak... Defence will stay the same but MacIntyre will start in goal!!
13-1 Oilers
Hemsky 5 goals, 7 assists
@ Falcon: Couldn't agree more!
That Debrusk intro really makes me miss Ray Ferraro.
Gretz has to be dying his hair now.
wow.
holy mother of all pieces of excrement. That was a softy Roli.
Strudwick = PWNED!!!!!
That is a weak goal...Have to save that...not a great start...how can they say he got around Strudwick...he shot from the boards for freak sake
Another great start...just about gave up another one...I'm stunned how often this team doesn't seem ready to play.
And I agree...Strudwick didn't get beat on that goal at all...your job is to keep guy to the outside and that is what he did
Hemsky will even take penalties so he can spend time on the PK.
Not to worry. Roli's good for one weak goal a night.*
*You get to be a master of rationalizing crap starts when you're an Oilers fan.
Gregor what is pho PP at?
Andy wrote:
His stick check wouldn't have stopped a six year old school girl.
If the Oil don't at least tie it by the end of one they will lose. Mark my words nation.
This could be a very long game.
Go stone hands...
Andy wrote:
28th overall...and 26th overall at home...
Pk for PHO is 28th overall and 28th at home...
In case your curious Oil is 19th on PP on the road and 26th on PK.
Remember when Horcoff could score....those were good times...
@ al:
he f'n blows lately
Did he just say Gretz is playing power vs power---against the Gagner line?
Sweet Zombie Jeebus line one better pot 2.
al wrote:
Remember when Hemsky could score...those were god times...
@ Jason Gregor:
you would come in handy when it's sport select time