GDB 74: They just don't get it in the Grand Canyon State

bingofuel
March 26 2009 04:53PM

grandcanyon

We all know what's at stake tonight. We clearly need to win this game, and, oh yeah, every subsequent game between now and game seven of the Stanley Cup Final (am I deluded enough to think we'll make it there? No. But I AM drunk enough). If we can't beat Gretzky's mongrels, then we're royal screwed. I could take losing to the Wings. We weren't supposed to beat them anyway. And though the Oilers seem to be in the habit (sometimes) of winning games they have no business winning, then uh, surely tonight... Frick, we CAN'T lose.

But the Coyotes are in a pretty rough spot, as one Robin Brownlee pointed out today. Man, if I could buy four tickets, and a pile of nachos with that metamucil-consistency cheese on it for $70, I'd buy EIGHT tickets and TWO orders of those sick, sick nachos. The problem with those dried out mummy husks down in Phoenix is that they don't get it. They never did. Here's what they're all about down in Phoenix:

  • Plastic surgery
  • Golf
  • Shuffleboard
  • Bus tours of the Grand Canyon
  • Air conditioning
  • Getting old
  • Eventually dying

You know what's not in that list? HOCKEY.

So while the Oilers lay down a five-alarm beating on the hapless Coyotes tonight and Wayne Gretzky ages before our very eyes, I want you to consider that in a way we're lucky. Not because we have to drop $200 a seat to go to a game and an additional down-payment-on-a-house-sized wad of dough just to drink ourselves into a stupor at RX1. But because we're in this thing, still, against all odds. It gives me and Wanye a reason to wake up in the morning. This isn't just about hockey... OK it is.

What's my point? I've forgotten. But to steal the hilarious thunder of some of our commenters, I think my point is this: "GAME DAY!!*"

*send Smokin' Ray Burnt a quarter in the mail.

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Bingofuel is the handsome cyborg who pulls all the levers behind the curtains of the OilersNation. When he isn't running the site, he's plugged into a wall socket, recharging. Or Brownlee and Wanye are playing "keep away" with him. He gets little to no respect.
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#1 SquidRx
March 26 2009, 04:59PM
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Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! My protest worked.

*shoves GDB placard up the donkey of closest co-worker and runs out of office yelling GO OILERS GO*

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#2 The Towel Boy
March 26 2009, 05:16PM
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OHHhhhh hohohoho BABY!!

LET'S DOOOOOO THIS!!!

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#3 Librarian Mike
March 26 2009, 05:27PM
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On your list of things Phoenix is all about, you forgot about crystal meth.

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#4 Blog log
March 26 2009, 05:29PM
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I know it's nitpicking, but it's impossible to win "every subsequent game between now and game seven of the Stanley Cup Final" and make it to the seventh game of the Stanely Cup Final.

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#5 bingofuel
March 26 2009, 05:40PM
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@ Blog log:

Yes, and seeing that you're so astute, you must have read the part about me being drunk, yeah?

GOOO OILERSSS!

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#6 R-DAWG
March 26 2009, 05:48PM
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Here's hoping the Oil can pull it off. I haven't been to an Oiler playoff game since 1990 and finally got my hands on my playoff tickets...Holy crap!!! I didn't think a loan was in order to buy them but I'm hoping it will be worth it.

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#7 Milli
March 26 2009, 05:51PM
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Yep, let's get this done, doner than my bottle of Wodka...anyone in golden...bring me another...I'll pay , and pay lots....

Ps...Hemmer, Souray, gags and penner

4-1 OIL

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#8 Chris
March 26 2009, 05:55PM
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5-2 Oil. Will roar back after giving up the first goal... Hemsky finally gets going... will squeek into the playoffs... geeze I hope at least SOME of these predictions come to pass!

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#9 Rice
March 26 2009, 06:08PM
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I'm thinking that Cogliano picks up a pair tonight.

3-1 Oil

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#10 Rice
March 26 2009, 06:08PM
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Rice wrote:

I’m thinking that Cogliano picks up a pair tonight. 3-1 Oil

followed by an empty netter by Staios (picked randomly for shits and giggles)

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#11 Smokin' Ray - NNC
March 26 2009, 06:10PM
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GAME DAY!!!

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#12 Smokin' Ray - NNC
March 26 2009, 06:13PM
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@ Bingofuel:

I don't know where everyone is sending those quarters??? *shakes pockets*

:)

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#13 Andrew W
March 26 2009, 06:32PM
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@Bingofuel & Librarian Mike,

Clearly you guys haven't been to Arizona, nor have you even looked at a map of where it is. Just to the south of that state is a little country called Mexico, hence the first three items on the list of things to do there should read:

- go on a booze run to Mexico - consume all of the booze much more quickly than you anticipated (regret is optional) - go on another booze run to Mexico

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#14 Harlie Chuddy
March 26 2009, 06:38PM
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@ Andrew W:

last year when the $ was at par or better it was cheaper to drink in Arizona than Mexico.

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#15 David S
March 26 2009, 06:43PM
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Bingo - you forgot to mention the $12 rape errr...parking fee along with the Rexall 2K forced march across the Siberian tundra when it's -30. Yeah - noice!

Anyways - Let's doooo this!!!!!© *deftly sidestepping the quarter royalty fee*

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#16 Phil
March 26 2009, 06:48PM
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Why am I not excited about this game at all?

Hate myself for still wanting to watch this game tonight.

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#17 Milli
March 26 2009, 06:49PM
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I'm going to vegas this weekend....anyone want me to place some playoff wagers for them?

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#18 Andrew W
March 26 2009, 06:51PM
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@Harlie Chuddy,

Yikes, maybe I'm dating myself as I haven't been down there in 15 years. Beer was cheaper in Arizona than anywhere else I've been, but definitely not liquor. I'll always remember getting two 40s of rum for $8 US just across the Mexican border, and it was good rum! We smuggled it back in 2L pop bottles...

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#19 Harlie Chuddy
March 26 2009, 07:10PM
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@ Andrew W:

A Canadian smuggling booze over the Mexican US border!! It brings a tear to my eye!

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#20 Phil
March 26 2009, 07:11PM
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Milli wrote:

I’m going to vegas this weekend….anyone want me to place some playoff wagers for them?

@ Milli:

Put me down for 100 dollars on the team with the worst odds to win a World Series championship this year.

Money in the bank.

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#21 Andrew W
March 26 2009, 07:15PM
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@Harlie Chuddy:

Oh, I've smuggled much more across the US/Canada border, and some of it had previously been smuggled up from Mexico. Did you know that it's also illegal to bring booze from Alberta to BC? I can't begin to tell you how many times I've done that - stupid BC taxes...

Man rum runs were fun. It makes me wonder why I stopped drinking.

*Quietly looks around, hoping that the good patrons of ON take pity and don't decide to ban me from the website.*

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#22 Harlie Chuddy
March 26 2009, 07:26PM
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http://i39.tinypic.com/23m7tjd.jpg

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#23 R-DAWG
March 26 2009, 07:37PM
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At least the raging Flamers game won't interfere with the ass whooping of the season...How dare they put a crappy Flames game on before the Oil anyway!!

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#24 B-Rad
March 26 2009, 07:41PM
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GDB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

any line combos?

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#25 R-DAWG
March 26 2009, 07:41PM
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It's kinda crazy to see all the attention Hemmer is getting from his comments. If he wanted more spotlight he got it, now it's time to put up or pack up because if he don't get his crap together I think he will demand a trade.

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#26 R-DAWG
March 26 2009, 07:46PM
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@ B-Rad: Well if my Mac blender program that I recently installed works, You will see... Pouliot,Reddox,Strudwick Joey Moss,Penner,Reddox Moreau,Reddox,pisani Hemmer,Stortini,Brodziak... Defence will stay the same but MacIntyre will start in goal!!

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#27 Falcon
March 26 2009, 07:51PM
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13-1 Oilers

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#28 Falcon
March 26 2009, 07:51PM
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Hemsky 5 goals, 7 assists

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#29 R-DAWG
March 26 2009, 07:52PM
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@ Falcon: Couldn't agree more!

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#30 David S
March 26 2009, 08:10PM
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That Debrusk intro really makes me miss Ray Ferraro.

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#31 Jason Gregor
March 26 2009, 08:13PM
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Gretz has to be dying his hair now.

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#32 Al Hamilton
March 26 2009, 08:13PM
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wow.

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#33 Harlie Chuddy
March 26 2009, 08:14PM
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holy mother of all pieces of excrement. That was a softy Roli.

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#34 David S
March 26 2009, 08:14PM
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Strudwick = PWNED!!!!!

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#35 Al
March 26 2009, 08:14PM
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That is a weak goal...Have to save that...not a great start...how can they say he got around Strudwick...he shot from the boards for freak sake

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#36 Andy
March 26 2009, 08:18PM
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Another great start...just about gave up another one...I'm stunned how often this team doesn't seem ready to play.

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#37 Andy
March 26 2009, 08:19PM
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And I agree...Strudwick didn't get beat on that goal at all...your job is to keep guy to the outside and that is what he did

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#38 Harlie Chuddy
March 26 2009, 08:19PM
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Hemsky will even take penalties so he can spend time on the PK.

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#39 David S
March 26 2009, 08:19PM
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Not to worry. Roli's good for one weak goal a night.*

*You get to be a master of rationalizing crap starts when you're an Oilers fan.

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#40 Andy
March 26 2009, 08:20PM
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Gregor what is pho PP at?

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#41 David S
March 26 2009, 08:20PM
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Andy wrote:

And I agree…Strudwick didn’t get beat on that goal at all…your job is to keep guy to the outside and that is what he did

His stick check wouldn't have stopped a six year old school girl.

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#42 Colin
March 26 2009, 08:21PM
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If the Oil don't at least tie it by the end of one they will lose. Mark my words nation.

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#43 17
March 26 2009, 08:21PM
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This could be a very long game.

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#44 Colin
March 26 2009, 08:23PM
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Go stone hands...

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#45 Jason Gregor
March 26 2009, 08:24PM
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Andy wrote:

Gregor what is pho PP at?

28th overall...and 26th overall at home...

Pk for PHO is 28th overall and 28th at home...

In case your curious Oil is 19th on PP on the road and 26th on PK.

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#46 al
March 26 2009, 08:26PM
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Remember when Horcoff could score....those were good times...

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#47 Harlie Chuddy
March 26 2009, 08:29PM
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@ al:

he f'n blows lately

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#48 Colin
March 26 2009, 08:29PM
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Did he just say Gretz is playing power vs power---against the Gagner line?

Sweet Zombie Jeebus line one better pot 2.

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#49 David S
March 26 2009, 08:30PM
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al wrote:

Remember when Horcoff could score….those were good times…

Remember when Hemsky could score...those were god times...

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#50 Harlie Chuddy
March 26 2009, 08:30PM
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@ Jason Gregor:

you would come in handy when it's sport select time

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