Olympic Chit Chat Day 1 Recap

Wanye
February 13 2010 12:50PM

 

Per the demands of such luminaries as Archaeologuy and RossCreek "(Make) and a daily general Olympic blog ... then those who don't really care don't have to read through a bunch of comments they otherwise wouldn't." Your wish is our command: here is your very first OCC article for these here Olympiads.

Don't let it be said that we can't turn on a dime here at the Nation and deliver what you ask for. It's like that time the Nations turned into that LOST chat room for several days back in June 2009. Weren't those heady days? What was the smoke monster doing in Kate's tent? We never did find out did we? Huh? HUH?

*nudge, nudge*

Because real life (read: the depressing NHL seasons in Edmonton and Calgary) will continue during these here games, we will toss up an OCC every day for people to dissect the latest Pairs Figure Skating scandal or what have you. Those who want to talk about the Canadian Men's Ice Hockey Games will be able to on OGDBs which will launch game days.

Everyone who wants to talk strictly NHL Ice Hockey play will also be able to get their fill as all the writers will continue to write about whatever the hell they want on any given day.

Which includes us too, and we wuv the Owympics:

Now we don't have the brains of a TSN analyst crew, descending on the games in 45 black Apache Helicopters fyling in perfect formation and invisible on Radar. And we certainly don't have the opposible thumbs required to do any actual research into what is happening in any other sport save the Men's Ice Hockey. But we do watch an incredible amount of Olympic Coverage and we do like to yell and scream on the interwebs.

As such we will start out the Olympic conversation each day with some light hearted observances and sharp criticisms of what we have seen.

We will start out with sincere condolences to the entire Games and the Republic of Georgia over the death of Luger Nodar Kumaritashvili. That is just a horrific crash and we really have to wonder if it has been necessary to show the footage over and over on all of the TV networks.

To us, this is a terrible accident in a sport that seems mind bogglingly dangerous for all involved. The fact we have seen footage of the crash a half dozen times since is disrespectful to the memory of Kumaritashvili and to the Republic of Georgia, not to mention the other Lugers who probably fly down the track on the edge of sanity to begin with.

On a lighter note, these Opening Ceremonies couldn't have been more hilarious. Technical failures, the best entertainers Canada has to offer awkwardly dragged on stage using their Patriotism as a leash, random people running along side Gretzky in the back of a truck while he wondered "how on earth did I find something more demeaning to do than Coach the Coyotes?"

It was just grand in our opinion. Between all of the hilariousnessity we thought the ceremony was actually quite wonderful. We don't get to see Canadians being Patriotic more than once or twice every 4 years, so seeing the Flags come out warmed the very cockles of our heart.

It has been great to settle back into the Olympic TV watching routine that we last dusted off back in 2006. Our day has been filled with "Normal Jump" ski jumping so far. We have already become an instant expert, thumbing our nose at anything less than a 105 metre jump and laughing heartily at anyone who isn't part of the juggernaut Swiss program. Especially the Austrians and their awful 102 metre jumping.

What is this? The World Championship qualifiers back in '09? Just wait till the top 15 arrive on the scene, well rested from their bye in the Qualifying round.

Then you'll see some action.

As a final query: Who's bright idea was it to throw the Greatest Canadian since John A MacDonald into the back of a white GMC fleet pickup truck, drive him to Whistler and back while he was deluged with driving rain while trying to look happy and wave to the dozens of fans who lined his 1,678 km route to light the outdoor torch?

Poor Wayne, he always is put through hell by people. For the millionth time in our lives we salute you again Sir.

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#2 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
February 13 2010, 01:09PM
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Tch, more like ARENA FIRENOTWORKING. Amirite?

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#3 R-DAWG
February 13 2010, 01:22PM
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I think the opening was only good. The stupid indoor torch not working was poor...did we not test this thing and possibly have a back up plan?? Having the greatest hockey player that will EVER play ride in the back of a pick-up(that by the way only had one headlight) like a freakin hillbilly was another retarded display of "patriotism". My personal opinion only is that if the games are any thing like the ceremony, we will be in for a long and boring games. On the flip side I can't wait to see if Canadian mens hockey can finally gain respectability...my guess is close but no cigar!

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#4 MattL
February 13 2010, 01:45PM
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Why are people (violently) protesting the Olympics (Oilympics)? What's to hate about the Oilympics? People from around the world getting together to party and watch sports? FOR SHAME! It's not like ANY of the billions of dollars spent on the games were going to go to homeless people anyway. It's two different budgets. Taking care of people budget, and superawesomefunparty budget.

It's like saying you shouldn't have a bachelor party because you're going to need that money for a mortgage one day.

I must be gettin old.

GOILYMPICS!

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#5 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
February 13 2010, 01:49PM
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MattL wrote:

Why are people (violently) protesting the Olympics (Oilympics)? What's to hate about the Oilympics? People from around the world getting together to party and watch sports? FOR SHAME! It's not like ANY of the billions of dollars spent on the games were going to go to homeless people anyway. It's two different budgets. Taking care of people budget, and superawesomefunparty budget.

It's like saying you shouldn't have a bachelor party because you're going to need that money for a mortgage one day.

I must be gettin old.

GOILYMPICS!

You're saying it's OKAY to over-spend on one group of people while neglecting another? You call yourself an Albertan?

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#6 Horcsky
February 13 2010, 01:53PM
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On the plus side, ski jumping is finally over for the day. Bring on the speed skating and hockey!

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#7 Soooray
February 13 2010, 02:05PM
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Hey maybe Cogliano can try out speed skating if this Marchant make-over doesn't work out.

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#9 rubbertrout
February 13 2010, 02:17PM
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Wanye wrote:

TIME FOR WOMEN'S HOCKEY! SQUEEEE!!

Oh Cassie Campbell, you are just the absolute WORST.

*somewhere Kevin Weekes is visibly relieved*

She's terrible, but I'd much rather look at her than Weeksie. Certainly a better looking former Olympian than chick than Lemay Doan (AKA the big thighed horse face).

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#10 David S
February 13 2010, 02:24PM
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MattL wrote:

Why are people (violently) protesting the Olympics (Oilympics)? What's to hate about the Oilympics? People from around the world getting together to party and watch sports? FOR SHAME! It's not like ANY of the billions of dollars spent on the games were going to go to homeless people anyway. It's two different budgets. Taking care of people budget, and superawesomefunparty budget.

It's like saying you shouldn't have a bachelor party because you're going to need that money for a mortgage one day.

I must be gettin old.

GOILYMPICS!

F*ck PETA

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#11 Eric Johnson
February 13 2010, 02:26PM
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@Wanye

What I found a little alarming about your article Wanye is you uttered a phrase never heard before separated from the words "boobs" "burgers" or "beer".. those words were "quite wonderful"....

You made up for it with "cockles' though.

GO OLYMPICS!

And Motocross skiing is awesome, I think the snow boarders should be allowed to use weapons too...

***internet whispers in his ear***

wait those are ski poles??? Not alpine weapons of mass destruction?

Oh.

Well I guess it is still kinda cool.

***imagines all olympic events with gladiator style weaponry and smiles***

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#12 Eric Johnson
February 13 2010, 02:27PM
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I also think it's weird that any Canadian that loves to skate but DOESN'T play hockey... I'm jus sayin'

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#13 Eric Johnson
February 13 2010, 02:29PM
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Maybe Ski jumping should be like jousting and the skiers jump AT eachother.... that would be really cool:)

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#14 Eric Johnson
February 13 2010, 02:32PM
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Oh and Cheechoo cleared waivers and is being sent to the AHL. From 52 goal scorer to fourth liner to AHL.... wow

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#15 Horcsky
February 13 2010, 02:40PM
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@Wanye

Ski Cross good. Boarder Cross grood (great and good).

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#17 jeanshorts
February 13 2010, 02:48PM
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Oh, are the Olympics still on? I thought it was just a one day thing.

*looks out his window at the pile of smoldering rubble that used to be Vancouver*

Hey, remember when they put Gretzky in the back of a truck in the rain and then drove it through a pile of drunk people? If that's not Canadian I don't know what is!

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#18 jeanshorts
February 13 2010, 02:58PM
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MattL wrote:

Why are people (violently) protesting the Olympics (Oilympics)? What's to hate about the Oilympics? People from around the world getting together to party and watch sports? FOR SHAME! It's not like ANY of the billions of dollars spent on the games were going to go to homeless people anyway. It's two different budgets. Taking care of people budget, and superawesomefunparty budget.

It's like saying you shouldn't have a bachelor party because you're going to need that money for a mortgage one day.

I must be gettin old.

GOILYMPICS!

I understand their point. But what the hell good is it doing WHILE THEY'RE GOING ON?

Like 4 or 5 days in the IOC and VANOC are going to be like "You know, maybe those smelly homeless kids have a point. Alright everyone, we're folding up shop".

That's like us going up to Bettman and being all like "Look guy, our goalie was hurt for the finals. We want a redo with him healthy".

Hey...... Maybe that's not such a bad idea...

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#20 Horcsky
February 13 2010, 03:03PM
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Did I just hear someones name is asserh*le in the Switzerland/Sweden hockey game?

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#21 MattL
February 13 2010, 03:08PM
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@Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things

Damn. I guess that DOES make me an Albertan, hey?

I'm going to download some KD Lang albums to clean the red-neck out of me.

*finds out KD Lang is a country singer, smashes head into door frame*

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#22 Harlie
February 13 2010, 03:08PM
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the Dude is in We Are The World Part 2. Or, El Duderino, if your not into the whole brevity thing.

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#23 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
February 13 2010, 03:09PM
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Horcsky wrote:

Did I just hear someones name is asserh*le in the Switzerland/Sweden hockey game?

Could very well be. Someone google "Swedish Asserh*le" and report your findings.

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#24 Horcsky
February 13 2010, 03:16PM
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@Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things

All I could find was a collection of photos of the IKEA commerial man. *smacks interwebs repeatedly*

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#25 Archaeologuy
February 13 2010, 03:48PM
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I need to start requesting more things if you guys are just going to grant me my wishes.

*Wishes that his lawyer Dad would always tell the truth, no matter what...then for one of those snuggies, those things look comfy*

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#27 Archaeologuy
February 13 2010, 04:09PM
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@Wanye

I guess the ball's in my court, since you got me this Olympic blog. What do you think the ratio should be, 2 parts frozen yogourt 1 part barbecue sauce? Should I put chunks of steak in the blender?

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#29 The Real Scuba Steve
February 13 2010, 04:32PM
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@Wanye

I don't spoil the Olympic feel with Oil talk to your blog, but I guess Tambo might not make even make a trade after the trade deadline, have you heard any whispers of anything.

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#30 Chamucks Deluxe
February 13 2010, 04:33PM
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I remember when I was in grade school and our gym teacher took us cross country skiiing. I was dogged right out after a full day of it and never went back.

To have a gun strapped to your back and pin it for 7 or whatever KM seems more like hell than a competition.

When's the Women's Hockey game? Or am I retarded and already missed it?

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#31 bingofuel
February 13 2010, 05:03PM
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#32 Dennis Sobchuk's Slapper
February 13 2010, 05:10PM
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Biathlon would be better if they shot at each other. Paintball on skis!!

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#33 Big D
February 13 2010, 05:38PM
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How hot was lemay doan? Gretzky should have given her his spot. He was going to the other one anyways.? He's usually more on the ball than that.

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#34 Heavyd
February 13 2010, 05:50PM
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Great pic.

I thought that someone was going to jump on the back of the truck yesterday. Gretzky looked freaked out.

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#35 Heavyd
February 13 2010, 05:52PM
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Where's the women hockey game?

Did I miss it?

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#36 Heavyd
February 13 2010, 06:11PM
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Can we trade the Oilers for the Canadian women's team?

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#37 SirFozz
February 13 2010, 06:14PM
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@Wanye

Can you add The Ride of the Valkyries in the background for the pic of the TSN crew coming in on their Apache helicopters? That would be cool AND more accurate to real life.

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#38 Deke Rivers
February 13 2010, 06:52PM
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No one from BC can make fun of Albertans after shoving Gretzky into the back of the pickup. Dressed in white, carrying a torch he looked like a Canadian Klansman driving through the streets. And surprise or not the 8 drunk people lining the streets was equally embarassing. The guy should have his order of Canada upgraded. All that was missing was shoving him into some polar bear or whale mascot uniform, although Gretz might have preferred that? Everything was great but the last 10 minutes, l hope they edit the DVD with the alternate ending.

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#39 Clangger
February 13 2010, 07:56PM
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While watching the Olympics, Canada vs Slovakia woman's hockey, I can't help but wonder how the Oiler's would do against the Slovakian woman's team? With a little effort, they just might beat them.

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#40 JC
February 13 2010, 07:58PM
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You should all see if you recognize a great canadian hockey star in this you tube...... I love it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8uaNRLXswc

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#41 Pajamah
February 13 2010, 09:18PM
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Ooooooh, Sesame sawmill steak sauce

can't even put Into words how much I fiend for that stuff

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#42 Archaeologuy
February 13 2010, 09:50PM
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I wish I had rechecked this blog before I made that barbecue sauce smoothie. Now all my daiquiris and margaritas are going to taste like Hickory Smoke. :(

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#43 tlbest
February 13 2010, 09:54PM
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can somebody tell me why the fck we wouldn't of claimed lundmark of waivers and the leafs do ??? hmm a 6 ft 200 pound center that is from edmonton that would of cost us nothing, anybody who has watched the flames has seen this kid and he has a good upside and frankly is better then any of the centers we currently have ( yea i am lookin at you horcoff ) tamby is just a stumbling mr dithers ....what a joke we have become.....

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#44 m3sh
February 13 2010, 09:55PM
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Pajamah wrote:

Ooooooh, Sesame sawmill steak sauce

can't even put Into words how much I fiend for that stuff

x2

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#45 Pajamah
February 13 2010, 09:57PM
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Archaeologuy wrote:

I wish I had rechecked this blog before I made that barbecue sauce smoothie. Now all my daiquiris and margaritas are going to taste like Hickory Smoke. :(

Hickory Smoke Smoothie

mmmmmmmmm.........

Enough booze in either your daquiri, or margarita, you won't taste anything!

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#46 Archaeologuy
February 13 2010, 09:58PM
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@tlbest

Tambi's still assessing Lundmark. We can expect him to ask Bettman if he's still on Waivers some time around the draft.

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#47 m3sh
February 13 2010, 10:02PM
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Well we got a silver... Heil was ooh so close.

WTF is up with not giving them the actual medals at the podium and just some "flower" ceremony where they don't seem to give them anything except palm fronds? Weak.

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#48 Nesquik
February 13 2010, 10:06PM
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@tlbest

Maybe because Lundmark is a UFA at season end, is 29 and has been said to have good upside for 10 years without showing he can be consistently good at the NHL level. Not to mention the worst plus/ minus on the team in a third of the games played. I am sure we have enough players like that to go around. I am all for critical realism about our GM, but lets not just lynch him for fun.

But this is an Olympic thread so tough luck for Jenn Heil, though she would take it.

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#49 MattL
February 13 2010, 10:25PM
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Wanye wrote:

No no, the sesame steak sauce. Not the BBQ sauce - that would be gross.

Yeah, no joke, that steak sauce is peerless in the world of steak accessories. I don't even know enough superlatives to express it.

Goilympics!

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#50 tlbest99
February 13 2010, 10:28PM
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@Nesquik

i agree about jenny hail, tough run, but at least she didnt fall like the other chick...and shes hot....heres 3 of our current outstanding crop of centers....o sully -29 36 % face off.....horcoff - 31 47 % face off neilson -21 0 % faceoffs...picking up a center who has 9 pts in 21 games and 49 % facoffs, with very limited time playing behind a team stacked with centers couldn't of hurt, we have a bunch of smurfs that can't check anybody and can't win a face off, how could it hurt to try out a 6 ft 200 pd center for the next 23 games.......

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