February 18 2010 01:34PM
Ah the Swiss. Makers of fine watches and chocolates, inventors of cheese. You are a pleasant mountain nation not unlike Banff, if Banff had a country to call its own that stretched to Jasper and was full of Swiss People.
Yes, if that was a proper country and it had an Olympic Hockey team it would be YOU we are looking to crush tonight in the Ice Hockey Match. So thank your lucky stars you aren't Switzerland Banff, thank your lucky stars.
Funny thing about these here Swiss. They aren't actually all that bad. They have already hung in there with the USA in a 3-1 loss in the first game of an Olympic bid for Gold, which is quite respectable considering the Americans are still relatively fresh in these Games and won't run out of mental gas until the semi finals.
Lest we forget that the last time these two met in Turino in 2006 , the Swiss had the audacity to shut out the Mighty Canadians 2-0.
*moment of silence*
So we can't take the Swiss lightly or they will rear up and bite us, filling our veins with their venomous venom. That's how Swiss people roll, so keep a sharp eye.
HERE IS YOUR 2010 SWISS ROSTER
Hmmm. What do we have here? Let's take a look shall we?*
*Vegas Todd was kind enough to hook us up with a real roster courtesy of NBC. We don't know why he moved to Vegas, but we appreciate he and his research skills immensely.
Jonas Hiller - Anaheim Ducks
Ronnie Rueger - Kloten Flyers
Tobias Stephan - HC Geneve Servette
Severin Blindenbacher - Farjestads BK Karlstad
Raphael Diaz - EV Zug
Luca Sbisa - Portland Winterhawks
Mathias Seger - ZSC Lions Zurich
Mark Streit - New York Islanders
Yannick Weber - Montreal Canadiens
Andres Ambuhl - Hartford Wolf Pack
Thomas Deruns - HC Geneve Servette
Hnat Domenichelli - HC Lugano
Sandy Jeannin - HC Fribourg-Gotteron
Thibaut Monnet - ZSC Lions Zurich
Thierry Paterlini - Rapperswil-Jona Lakers
Martin Pluss - Bern
Ivo Ruthemann - SC Bern
Raffaele Sannitz - HC Lugano
Julien Sprunger - HC Fribourg-Gotteron
Roman Wick - Kloten Flyers
Big ups to the warsh for the link
Looking down this list of players we don't think that there are a lot of players to be worried about. But then we look at that picture of the Swiss Cobra up there and realize that there is a lot to worry about. The Swiss have all of one forward currently playing in North America and it's in the AHL.
This leaves us wondering how much the Swiss can rely on Mark Streit to score 100% of his team's goals, play sterling defense and possibly Coach the team in between periods if needed. Hiller in net is reasonably sound, except that he is also a total nerd, which ultimately deducts any respect we would give him on account of skill.
Remember Michel Riesen?
Gregor just blew his gasket about the roster we have used for the Swiss team above. (note: we have a real roster now up, but odds are you will keep reading anyway.) One of the only places we could find an actual roster was from the blog linked to above, which claims it took it's information from the IIHF back in late 2009. CTV/TSN/SportsNet/MTV helpfully has no such rosters on their site, but do have a snazzy picture slideshow of some of the players here.
Gregor claims Michel Riesen - former Oilers disaster of a first round pick - isn't playing for the National team. We maintain that he is, because some random blog says he that is. And so went the debate, round and round and round again. This is how Gregor and your ol' pal Wanye spend our days. Yelling about Swiss wingers who disappointed the Oilers last millenium and speculating whether or not they will see action in a loss against the Canadians tonight.
Who will be right? Only time will tell.
That tingling in your arms that you are feeling as you read this is called electricity.
TEAM VICTORY (CANADA)
Fresh off of an 8-0 stomping of the Norweigians - not the Finns as some moron would have led you to believe - the Canadian team is off to a good start. Iginla has discovered that playing with world class line mates improves your results on the ice and Marc Andre Fleury has found an excellent sushi bar right around the corner from the Athletes Villiage where he can try and convince chicks that he is actually in the NHL.
This will be the first real test for the Canadian team tonight, so we will keep our excitement tuned to a maximum high and defer making any judgements of the team until after the game.
Do Kathy Kreiner (CAN) Gold medalist in the 1976 giant slalom in Innsbruck proud fellas.
Let's get at 'er.