The Great American Victory Report Pt. 2: We'd be happy to take Vancouver off your hands

Ryan Lambert
February 18 2010 05:23PM

 

Howdy folks.

The Olympics are, of course, all about athletic competition, pushing to be the best, and coming together as a global community to celebrate peace and goodwill. But let's be honest here, it's also about winners and losers. Canada may have won its first gold medal last night but I think it's time we took a look at the real winner so far: America.

As far as I know, I'm the only American (read also: non-loser) who writes for the various Nations, and that's why I have taken it upon myself to come here and remind you that the United States has and will continue to dominate "Your Olympics."

Here are several more specific reasons why.

1. Shaun White is literally the greatest athlete in the history of mankind.

 

That red streak that screamed past every Canadian man, woman and child last night was not any kind of cartoon bird or indeed one of the hundreds of intercontinental ballistic missiles our country has trained on your greatest landmark (the little-used cow shed in Fort MacLeod where Joni Mitchell was born, if I'm not mistaken) at any given time. No, it was Shaun White, the adorable little red-haired scamp who is going to win the gold medal in every single event in which he competes.

With the ability to get close to 30 feet in the air, a height barely matched by Canada's biggest skyscraper, White has time to kill and devour several Canadian endangered species, along with the hopes and dreams of your entire nation, all before doing a 720 triple fakie stalefish tailgrab (that's probably a real thing), curing two forms of cancer and landing with the gold medal already secured lovingly in its rightful place around his neck while teammate and bronze medal winner Scott Lago held back the adoring masses with a picture of hideous Canadian woman Christine Nesbitt.

And this ignores that White can't be bothered to compete in an event like snowboardcross, which is a made-up word. Instead, White let Seth Wescott, another American, win gold instead. Had White competed, however, he would have probably won all three medals and a fourth one invented just for him to further shame Canada.

2. Shani Davis could defeat a fighter jet in a race.

Shani Davis was originally the basis for mediocre superhero the Flash but DC Comics execs thought that no one would believe a human being could move that quickly. Instead, Davis turned his wealth of talent and abilities to speed skating, where last night he won his second gold medal in as many Olympics in the 1,000-meter race. Coming in third in that race was Chad Hedrick. I don't have to tell you, I'm sure, that Hedrick is a proud American hero.

It's funny, by the way. I'm currently looking at all the medalists in men's speed skating, and I don't see one single Canadian medalist. Oh wait, here's one that won a gold and a silver. Or.. no maybe I'm confused. Is yours the country with the kinda red and blue yin yang thing and a bunch of crazy writing on the sides? Oh this says it's South Korea. My bad. I just saw that the guy's name was "Mo Tae-Bum" and, based entirely on the last word in his surname, assumed he was Canadian.

3. Injuries of that type would cripple an ordinary woman, but Lindsey Vonn is no ordinary woman.

With a shin bruise as deep as the Marianas Trench and painful as the Canadian hockey team's inevitable ninth-place finish behind Latvia, Lindsey Vonn bravely hobbled onto the slopes for the ladies' downhill last night.

Staring down from the top of the mountain as though she were Hera looking down from Olympus, she regarded the swelling crowd for a moment, perhaps wondering what it was like for mere humans (or in the case of the Canadians in attendance, subhumans) to witness accomplishments with the gravity of what she was about to achieve. As she pushed off, the pain vanished and as the run continued, so too did Canada's hopes of ever catching the US in medal count.

She valorously defeated all her competitors, human frailty and the mountain itself to earn a prize as golden as her hair and singularly beautiful as the her opponents' gallons of tears.

4. We can even pin our non-successes on your rotten country.

Obviously I want the United States to run roughshod over every opponent it faces, taking all medals awarded at this and every other Olympiad past and future. But sometimes it's just not possible.

Take, for example, our representatives in the respective curling tournaments. So clueless is John Shuster as to how to properly execute with the hammer that, despite having had the final stone in each of America's four matches, this doughy ball of ineptitude has bungled each and skipped the US team to an 0-4 record and a guaranteed non-appearance in the medal round. So I wondered to myself, how could such a thing have happened with an American? Well I looked it up and he's from some small town in Minnesota, not an hour's drive from the Canadian border, and suddenly it made perfect sense. With your weather systems come your loser stink and I'm assuming that each fresh storm from the True North Strong and Free (yeah right) comes a healthy coating of snow and failure to be scraped off windshields and left to melt in gutters, much like any hope of Canadian victory over America.

And what of the women's team, currently 0-2 but and on its way to another healthy loss against Denmark even as I type this? Well as it turns out, the team is skipped by Debbie McCormick. Birthplace: Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. No joke.

Very funny, Canada, sending your citizens to infiltrate and destroy our American teams, and rob us of the gold medals we so richly deserve merely for existing.

5. It's still all about medal count.

Just as you'd expect, there's America waaaaaaaaaay up at the top there. A whopping 15 medals, and six of them the glittering gold of American athletic perfection. After that is Germany with a paltry 11 and Norway with a pitiable eight.

Man, I swear I could have heard Canada was competing in these Olympics. You'd think the host country would be able to make some kind of accounting for itself. But here we are and I don't think Canada's won a single medal in any sp.. oh no I found them, way down in a tie for fourth with... hahahaha a tie for fourth with France. That's hysterical. You bozos are only two medals up on South Korea. I didn't even know they had snow there.

But maybe you wanna look at gold medals as the hallmark of true champions. The US leads there as well. Five total. Canada's only got three. One more than China.

And even if by some miracle every American in the Games suddenly drops dead and opens the door for a whole host of second-rate nobodies to clamber onto the medal podiums, the US has such a healthy lead in the Olympic all-time medal count that it would take another century of games for someone to even rival its output. America has won 2,511 medals since the first Olympiad in 1896. The next closest country is Russia/USSR with just 1,204. For those curious, Canada has 379.

So hey buddies, don't sweat it too much. You only need to win 50 medals in every Olympiad for the next 22 years, and hope the Americans win none, to be in our ballpark.

God Bless America!

686dfac3780611cb7acad6ce5166c6c1
Yer ol' buddy Lambert is handsome and great and everyone loves him. Also you can visit his regular blog at The Two-Line Pass or follow him on Twitter. Lucky you!
Avatar
#51 bingofuel
February 19 2010, 09:00AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
Librarian Mike wrote:

Hilarious article, TLP.

Some of you guys need to relax and recognize that the point of this article is humour (right, TLP?). Let's all take a step back and remember who the real enemy is:

THE ENGLISH

http://www.id-wall.com/images/large/MP010117-Twits-MPFC-90.jpg

Again with you endless "library" of hilarious images.

Thanks LM!

Avatar
#52 VK63
February 19 2010, 09:06AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

Hey Tiger Woods is gonna speak........ his parents must be so proud

Wow. Poorly read but amazingly well written, PR guys get an A for that IMO

Avatar
#53 NotWorthIt
February 19 2010, 09:10AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

#35 Doug February 18 2010, 10:01PM

These articles are really lowering the class of oilers nation. It's unfortunate they are allowed to continue.

Quoted for the truth.

Avatar
#54 Ender
February 19 2010, 09:29AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

bingofuel wrote:

Anyone who reads too much into this over-the-top poke at Canada takes themselves too seriously

Librarian Mike wrote:

Some of you guys need to relax and recognize that the point of this article is humour

Amen. Some people on here need to find themselves a chill-pill in short order. If you're not laughing as you read this, either you're missing the point of the thing or perhaps some therapy to 'get it all out' might be in order. If (when) Canada beats the Americans in hockey and we point it out to TLP, do you think he's going to throw a big hissy-pout about how low-brow we are? No, he's just going to chuckle, give our hockey-team props for being 'lucky', and then smack-talk how ugly our curling team is. That's what guys do. Sheeeesh! Lighten up and live a little.

Avatar
#55 Petr's Jofa
February 19 2010, 09:34AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

@Ender

I guess some people just aren't used to an over-the-top humourous blog here on Oilersnation.

~Sits back and awaits one of Wanye's more serious blogs.~

Avatar
#56 jess
February 19 2010, 09:43AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

This article belongs on the podium. Well done, TLP.

Avatar
#57 Dan the Man
February 19 2010, 10:12AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

Truly a hilarious read, my favorite line...."You bozos are only two medals up on South Korea. I didn't even know they had snow there."

Well played, now go supersize your extra value meal so you can eventually go bankrupt paying off your future medical bills.

Avatar
#58 jake
February 19 2010, 10:29AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

...looking forward to Oilers related blogs.....never thought I would say that these last few weeks.....

Avatar
#59 Chaz
February 19 2010, 10:45AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

Not a very well written article for an American. I've heard better takes in 30 seconds on the Rome show. Clumsy and trying too hard to be funny in my opinion. Oh wait, you're a Calgary fan....that explains everything....

* Goes back to daydreaming about the moment when Kipper simultaneously knocks the US out of the Men's hockey tournament and fully tears both of his ACLs....that is going to be so sweet!

Avatar
#60 The Naked Robber
February 19 2010, 10:48AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

Awesome, this is hilarious!

Anyone who is a true Canadian has to laugh along with this article.

Avatar
#61 jess
February 19 2010, 10:54AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

Why is everyone so angry? Realistically, the more you post about how "stupid" this is, the more you're going to feed the fire.

Besides, it's absolutely awesome.

Avatar
#62 Grandpa's Sedan
February 19 2010, 10:55AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

The 5 Stage Reaction to Toilet Paper’s ‘Great American Victory Post’

1. Anger: “How dare you post this brash defamation of Canadians! The host nation, no-less, and whose tax-payers will be footing the bill for this Olympiad for decades to come!” 2. Traditional Canadian Self-Deprecation: “Well, come to think of it, we can all appreciate a little-good natured ribbing from our American brethren, can’t we? Hell, I suppose we were a little confident...dare I say ‘American’ with our ‘Own the Podium’ campaign. Good on ya for bringing us back down to earth.” 3. Humour: “Ohhh, I get it! You’re not really insulting Canadians, but are satirizing the average American’s arrogance and ultra-confidence by posting this!” 4.Confusion: “Wait a minute.... an American wouldn’t have the intelligence and wit to pull that off...??” 5. Realization: “Ohhhh, now I really get it! Toilet Paper’s actually a Canadian, masquerading as an American, satirizing Joe American! Wow! Well played. Well played, indeed.”

Comedic brilliance my Canadian friend, Toilet Paper! Comedic brilliance! I especially appreciate you attempting to sell yourself as an American by pretending to not to be able to count (first paragraph under 5. It’s Still All About Medal Count: “...SIX of them the glittering gold of American athletic perfection”; third paragraph under same: “But maybe you wanna look at gold medals as the hallmark of true champions. The US leads there as well. FIVE total.” Now THAT is commitment to the role! Bravo Monsieur Toilet Paper! Bravo! (Just don’t let ‘your’ government catch wind of this charade or they’ll bug every phone, computer and urinal you use from here on in...)

Avatar
#63 anon
February 19 2010, 11:00AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

Oh, I'm sorry. Were you dissing Canada? I couldn't hear you over my health care benefits.

Avatar
#64 Zamboni Driver
February 19 2010, 11:01AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

That was absolutely hilarious.

Like...Hnat Dominichelli in and counted on by an NHL team kinda-funny.

Avatar
#65 VK63
February 19 2010, 11:24AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

If Liam Reddox grew 80s metal hair?

Avatar
#66 treblecharger
February 19 2010, 11:30AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

Problem is, it's NOT funny. Empty setups and bad punchlines, all playing on the fact that Canada sucks, when in reality, all over the world, people treat idiot americans with disdain, when they are not actively trying to actually kill them for being americans.

Not worth the time to read....NEXT!

Avatar
#67 RossCreekNation
February 19 2010, 11:51AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
Ender wrote:

bingofuel wrote:

Anyone who reads too much into this over-the-top poke at Canada takes themselves too seriously

Librarian Mike wrote:

Some of you guys need to relax and recognize that the point of this article is humour

Amen. Some people on here need to find themselves a chill-pill in short order. If you're not laughing as you read this, either you're missing the point of the thing or perhaps some therapy to 'get it all out' might be in order. If (when) Canada beats the Americans in hockey and we point it out to TLP, do you think he's going to throw a big hissy-pout about how low-brow we are? No, he's just going to chuckle, give our hockey-team props for being 'lucky', and then smack-talk how ugly our curling team is. That's what guys do. Sheeeesh! Lighten up and live a little.

Quoted for truth & EMPHASIS.

Chill out peeps.

Avatar
#68 Wanye
February 19 2010, 11:52AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
Doug wrote:

These articles are really lowering the class of oilers nation. It's unfortunate they are allowed to continue.

Hear hear! I hate this website!

*pounds table with shoe in best Krushchevian fashion*

Avatar
#69 The Towel Boy
February 19 2010, 12:08PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

I'm part Swedish!

Avatar
#70 Jason Gregor
February 19 2010, 12:09PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

@Ender

If (when) Canada beats the Americans in hockey and we point it out to TLP, do you think he's going to throw a big hissy-pout about how low-brow we are? No, he's just going to chuckle, give our hockey-team props for being 'lucky', and then smack-talk how ugly our curling team is.

Check yourself. Cheryl Bernard is a hot cougar.

Avatar
#71 Greg MC
February 19 2010, 12:10PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

~HAHAHA funny!~

Back to Lames nation please (where no one will see your $hit).

Avatar
#72 RossCreekNation
February 19 2010, 12:13PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
Jason Gregor wrote:
If (when) Canada beats the Americans in hockey and we point it out to TLP, do you think he's going to throw a big hissy-pout about how low-brow we are? No, he's just going to chuckle, give our hockey-team props for being 'lucky', and then smack-talk how ugly our curling team is.

Check yourself. Cheryl Bernard is a hot cougar.

You've GOT to be kidding. She looks like an old horse...

http://macleans.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/wip091211_02.jpg
courtesy our friend TheTowelBoy

Avatar
#73 RossCreekNation
February 19 2010, 12:19PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
Greg MC wrote:

~HAHAHA funny!~

Back to Lames nation please (where no one will see your $hit).

Hey pal, there's some Big Sh!t Poppin!!! over at FlamesNation lately.

In case you haven't heard, a member of FAN960, Pat Steinberg has joined the team and Kent Wilson, the premier Flames blogger IMO, has also re-joined the team. FN is on your heels ON... OH YEAH! dig it!

Avatar
#74 Harlie
February 19 2010, 12:29PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
RossCreekNation wrote:

You've GOT to be kidding. She looks like an old horse...

http://macleans.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/wip091211_02.jpg
courtesy our friend TheTowelBoy

but she likes look a go'er from that pic!! :D

Avatar
#75 Greg MC
February 19 2010, 12:30PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
RossCreekNation wrote:

Hey pal, there's some Big Sh!t Poppin!!! over at FlamesNation lately.

In case you haven't heard, a member of FAN960, Pat Steinberg has joined the team and Kent Wilson, the premier Flames blogger IMO, has also re-joined the team. FN is on your heels ON... OH YEAH! dig it!

I admit Mr Creek that you can write a little bit, but cheering for the Flames, unforgivable! ;)

Avatar
#76 barnorth
February 19 2010, 12:31PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

This is straight from the Daily Show. Seriously, TLP should write for Stewart and co.

Um, I mean RAGE! Grrrrr, sports!

Avatar
#77 Dominoiler
February 19 2010, 12:33PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

"*one fist pump so powerful then entire state of New Jersey has an orgasm*"

Fkn rights!! haha

Avatar
#78 RossCreekNation
February 19 2010, 12:33PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
Harlie wrote:

but she likes look a go'er from that pic!! :D

LOL, but picture her on the toilet in that pic. That's only the kind of thing jeanshorts would be in to... and maybe Dakin, too.

Avatar
#79 RossCreekNation
February 19 2010, 12:34PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

Pics of Oilers F Mike Comrie proposing to the lovely Hilary Duff in Maui!...

http://hollywooddame.com/2010/02/19/hilary-duff-engaged-photos/100218f1/

I think she said yes...

http://hollywooddame.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/hilary-duff-engagement-6.jpg

You go Mike. You go!

Avatar
#80 Senator Theo
February 19 2010, 12:38PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
The Towel Boy wrote:

I'm part Swedish!

me too - the part that likes Bikini teams.

Avatar
#81 The Towel Boy
February 19 2010, 12:49PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
Senator Theo wrote:

me too - the part that likes Bikini teams.

Amen my fellow Swede. Amen.

Avatar
#82 jess
February 19 2010, 12:52PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

I think the comments made me laugh harder than the article.

Avatar
#83 rubbertrout
February 19 2010, 01:22PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
jake wrote:

...looking forward to Oilers related blogs.....never thought I would say that these last few weeks.....

What exactly would you like someone to say? Keep in mind the only hockey is Olympic hockey and there is a trade freeze.

How's this?

random comment balh balh blah Horcoff is overpaid and sucks

random comment blah blah blah Horcoff is awesome and misunderstood--look at all of this math and blah blah CORSI statistics

random comment blah blah Moreau shouldn't be captain

random comment blah blah can we trade Moreau/Staios/SOuray

Random coment blah blah Tom Gilbert is a girl

I guess that last one still applies. My apologies.

Avatar
#84 rubbertrout
February 19 2010, 01:25PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
treblecharger wrote:

Problem is, it's NOT funny. Empty setups and bad punchlines, all playing on the fact that Canada sucks, when in reality, all over the world, people treat idiot americans with disdain, when they are not actively trying to actually kill them for being americans.

Not worth the time to read....NEXT!

The fact that you generalize 300 or so million people as "idiot Americans" makes you somehow the decider of whether a satire is actually funny? Next.

Avatar
#85 SmellOfVictory
February 19 2010, 01:56PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

My original response might've been a wee bit on the harsh side, but I still maintain that TLP needs to tweak his approach to this style of satire. This one came across as too 'sincere' to me to be really funny, even though that was the opposite of the intention.

Avatar
#86 rubbertrout
February 19 2010, 02:20PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
SmellOfVictory wrote:

My original response might've been a wee bit on the harsh side, but I still maintain that TLP needs to tweak his approach to this style of satire. This one came across as too 'sincere' to me to be really funny, even though that was the opposite of the intention.

Of course it would actually be funny if TLP actually meant everything that he said and it was done without a hint of satire. Then we'd feel pretty foolish for defending him.

I think. This is way too much thinking for me on a Friday afternoon.

Avatar
#87 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
February 19 2010, 02:24PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
SmellOfVictory wrote:

My original response might've been a wee bit on the harsh side, but I still maintain that TLP needs to tweak his approach to this style of satire. This one came across as too 'sincere' to me to be really funny, even though that was the opposite of the intention.

Agreed. Let's see some banana peels and 1-tonne weights next time, TLP.

Avatar
#88 RossCreekNation
February 19 2010, 02:24PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
rubbertrout wrote:

What exactly would you like someone to say? Keep in mind the only hockey is Olympic hockey and there is a trade freeze.

How's this?

random comment balh balh blah Horcoff is overpaid and sucks

random comment blah blah blah Horcoff is awesome and misunderstood--look at all of this math and blah blah CORSI statistics

random comment blah blah Moreau shouldn't be captain

random comment blah blah can we trade Moreau/Staios/SOuray

Random coment blah blah Tom Gilbert is a girl

I guess that last one still applies. My apologies.

rubbertrout - 5
jake - 0

LOL, 'trout.

Avatar
#89 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
February 19 2010, 02:27PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things wrote:

Agreed. Let's see some banana peels and 1-tonne weights next time, TLP.

~Agreed. Let's see some banana peels and 1-tonne weights next time, TLP.~*

*Edited to emphasize tongue-in-cheek nature of previous remark.

Avatar
#90 RossCreekNation
February 19 2010, 02:34PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

The Russians sure blew it yesterday. I know Ovechkin's awesome & all, but why wouldn't Pavel Datsyuk have shot 3 times. He's $$. He probably wouldn't have even needed the 3rd shot. Radulov looked pissed. Let's see if dissension ensues.

*crosses fingers*

Avatar
#91 RossCreekNation
February 19 2010, 02:42PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

Vancouver Olympics Stocked With 100,000 Condoms

In lead-up to 2000 Sydney Olympics, health officials distributed 70,000 condoms to visiting athletes. They were 20,000 short... The "Today" show estimates that there are 14 condoms for "each of the 7,000 athletes, coaches, trainers and officials housed in the Games' two villages."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/02/18/vancouver-olympics-stocke_n_467870.html

I wonder how they knew they were 20,000 short in Sydney.
Really, is 14 condoms each enough. I mean, I've already used 9 today~

Avatar
#92 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
February 19 2010, 02:43PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
RossCreekNation wrote:

Vancouver Olympics Stocked With 100,000 Condoms

In lead-up to 2000 Sydney Olympics, health officials distributed 70,000 condoms to visiting athletes. They were 20,000 short... The "Today" show estimates that there are 14 condoms for "each of the 7,000 athletes, coaches, trainers and officials housed in the Games' two villages."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/02/18/vancouver-olympics-stocke_n_467870.html

I wonder how they knew they were 20,000 short in Sydney.
Really, is 14 condoms each enough. I mean, I've already used 9 today~

Does that include the body-length ones the lugers wear?

Avatar
#93 offside
February 19 2010, 02:56PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

Funny article.

I would have to agree that Shaun White is the greatest athlete in the history of mankind. Secondly, Lindsay Vonn and Julia Mancuso are HOT!!

But, the USA has 10 times the population of Canada, shouldn't they have 10 times the medals if they were equal to Canada??? If they were better, wouldn't they have 20 times the medals???? They probably won't even double the Canadians, the US only had 3 more medals in Turin - pathetic. Plus the Germans beat them in the medal count, and with only a quarter of the population.

Avatar
#94 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
February 19 2010, 03:00PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
offside wrote:

Funny article.

I would have to agree that Shaun White is the greatest athlete in the history of mankind. Secondly, Lindsay Vonn and Julia Mancuso are HOT!!

But, the USA has 10 times the population of Canada, shouldn't they have 10 times the medals if they were equal to Canada??? If they were better, wouldn't they have 20 times the medals???? They probably won't even double the Canadians, the US only had 3 more medals in Turin - pathetic. Plus the Germans beat them in the medal count, and with only a quarter of the population.

The number of athletes eligible to compete for each country is not always proportional to the total population. A lot of that has to do with the availability of government funding.

They were talking about it during the Women's hockey game against Switzerland the other night. The Swiss coaches don't even coach full-time - they have day jobs.

Avatar
#95 offside
February 19 2010, 03:04PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
Ryan Lambert wrote:

she's from Calgary too, buddy. another in a long line of strikes against Edmonton.

Sorry I'm late to the conversation but Kimiko's from St. Albert, which we all know is really Edmonton.

Avatar
#97 SmellOfVictory
February 19 2010, 03:30PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

@Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things

Ironic that you're implying that I want the exact opposite of what I think the piece could use (higher level of sophistication).

Avatar
#98 rubbertrout
February 19 2010, 03:41PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things wrote:

The number of athletes eligible to compete for each country is not always proportional to the total population. A lot of that has to do with the availability of government funding.

They were talking about it during the Women's hockey game against Switzerland the other night. The Swiss coaches don't even coach full-time - they have day jobs.

Plus something tells me that the southern states don't exactly crank out the elite winter athletes.

Avatar
#99 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
February 19 2010, 05:25PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
SmellOfVictory wrote:

Ironic that you're implying that I want the exact opposite of what I think the piece could use (higher level of sophistication).

Looked to me like you suggested TLP's style of humour is a little too subtle for your liking. Yes. That is indeed what you were suggesting.

Avatar
#100 Wanyes bastard child
February 19 2010, 05:36PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
Ryan Lambert wrote:

WELL THEN THE INTERNET LIED TO ME! WHY WHY WHY

The internet lies???

Does this mean the male enhancing product I ordered won't work?

Comments are closed for this article.