WHO DAT IN DA SUPERBOWL?

Wanye
February 07 2010 02:12PM

Ah the Superbowl. Even if you don't care for the American Football, it is a day celebrated in most civilized countries in the world where you can eat like the fattest American, drink like the drunkenest rummy and make believe that you have been cheering for the New Orleans Saints the entire season.

Bandwagon jumping is actually acceptable on Superbowl Sunday, as opposed to during NHL playoffs when bandwagon jumpers should be drawn and quartered upon sight.

Yes, for the one-day-per-year-NFL-fan, Reggie Bush is your new best friend, Peyton Manning is so totally better than Tom Brady and you can't even believe that it has been three years since the last time the Colts won the big one.  

Tomorrow you will most likely have heart burn so severe that you are unable to even see a Dorito without shedding a couple tears and wonder what possessed you to crush two whole bags of sweet chili heat Doritos. Those are problems for tomorrow Nation, save the good times for today.

GAME DAY

For the first time in recorded history, Wanye Manor is the proud host of our annual Superbowl party. We have bought enough beer to take down an elephant, have cut enough cheese slices from here to eternity and are currently working our way through the mess of the Manor to be able to make it presentable enough to host guests that might be offended by a half eaten cheese pizza in a box that was found under a winter coat on the floor by the back door.*

In an attempt to hook up all citizens of the Nation who will be attending similar parties, hitting up a local watering hole or are just sitting down with their better half to watch the game, we present you with a quick Superbowl Bandwagon Jumping Cheat Sheet - that if repreated will make you look as though you are the most dedicated NFL fan around.

You're welcome Nation.

*actually happened today

FACT 1: WHO DAT BATTLE

The big saying in New Orleans is "who dat." As in "who dat team going to the Superbowl?" "Who dat just scored a touchdown?" or "Who dat sports league trying to muscle in on a trademark that has been a common saying in New Orleans for almost 50 years?"

Apparently the NFL is trying to muscle local shops in New Orleans out of the Who Dat business and they aren't taking it lying down. We can totally see the NFL's point here. It isn't as though the small businessman in New Orleans hasn't been through enough of late - what with a massive flood and over half of the City moving away and all.

The game has been waaaaaay to easy for those small businesses to make a living and we for one salute the billion dollar NFL Corporation for sending cease and desist letters to Louisianian businesses demanding them to stop using Who Dat - something that the NFL have failed in attempting to copyright and have been only able to get the courts to agree shouldn't share a tshirt with a golden fleur de lis.

You know, the very same fleur de lis that has been a dominant symbol of the French Culture for nearly 400 years and isn't even close to being the property of the NFL either.

Oh NFL. Who dat bein' so greedy den?
 

FACT 2: THE PAIN OF ARCHIE MANNING

The father of Colts quarterback Peyton Manning is Archie Manning. The fine city of New Orleans is often referred to as "Archie's Town" on account of the 12 terrible - but hero building -seasons the Quarterback of the Saints and the Citizens of New Orleans shared back in the day. Archie Manning is basically the Ambassador of New Orleans and must be conflicted to say the least as his eldest son suits up against his beloved Saints in the Superbowl.

It's a good thing that Peyton is only one of Archie's Superbowl winning Quarter Back sons and that he can always fall back on loving Eli - who would never have the audacity to face Archie's team in the Big Game.

Oh Archie Manning - who dat so torn watching the game?

FACT 3: PEYTON NEEDS THIS BAD

 

If Peyton wants to have any success chasing Tom Brady for the biggest superstud QB of all time, he needs this game to put the hammer down and close the gap between the two. Brady has 3 Superbowls, a love child with Bridget Moynahan and is currently knocking boots with Giselle Bundchen. Peyton Manning has one Superbowl ring and a series of funny ads where he shows he can be funny.

*crickets*

History is on Manning's side today though as when the Colts won the Superbowl three years ago it was also in Miami as it is today, so maybe Peyton can make it happen two time.

Oh Peyton Manning - who dat needin' to win today to keep up wit de Joneses?

New Orleans 35 - Indianapolis 24.

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 JackBauer
February 07 2010, 02:43PM
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1st!

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#2 Jamie B.
February 07 2010, 02:53PM
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Allow me to be the first to complain about your outrageous audacity in posting a non-hockey story on OilersNation. I DEMAND MY MONEY BA-- oh, wait.

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#3 Colin
February 07 2010, 02:55PM
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Go Saints!!!!!

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#4 Pajamah
February 07 2010, 03:09PM
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Jamie B. wrote:

Allow me to be the first to complain about your outrageous audacity in posting a non-hockey story on OilersNation. I DEMAND MY MONEY BA-- oh, wait.

I've considered putting stop payments on all of my cheques to bingofuel as well

on another note, did you know his first name is cash?

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#6 Heavyd
February 07 2010, 04:07PM
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WHO DAT? Writing stories not about our beloved Oilers. Shame on you sir. Lol.

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#8 Pajamah
February 07 2010, 04:52PM
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Wanye wrote:

This is a tribute to pretending to understand or care about the NFL. Consider it a public service from our family to yours.

I'm just playing around, infact, I love the superbowl so much, my left arm is already tingling from love, sour cream, and aged cheddar

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#9 Reagan
February 07 2010, 05:28PM
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Found a CBS feed in HD that isn't blocking the commercials!

So far my fav's

Bud Light -It going to be a party... synthesised voices Casual Work days - Some job company All the Doritos Spots Lost Remake - Bud Light

There's been so many...

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#11 Gunner
February 07 2010, 07:13PM
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Who Dat?!?!

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#12 Colin
February 07 2010, 08:35PM
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Yay the hated Manning lost!

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#13 The Towel Boy
February 08 2010, 08:55AM
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What's a "Super Bowl"?

Is that that thing at KFC that has mashed potatoes, corn and bits of the Colonel's Secret Recipe™ chicken all smothered in KFC's legendary re-hydrated gravy?

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#15 GSC
February 08 2010, 02:27PM
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MAJOR props to Wanye for not only the Techmo Super Bowl reference, but to using an image incorporating Don "Majik Man" Majkowski.

EPIC WIN.

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#16 GSC
February 08 2010, 02:29PM
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The Towel Boy wrote:

What's a "Super Bowl"?

Is that that thing at KFC that has mashed potatoes, corn and bits of the Colonel's Secret Recipe™ chicken all smothered in KFC's legendary re-hydrated gravy?

Stop it, you're making me hungry.

Reminds me of when Ricky and Lucy met in KFC, when they had those new chicken strips out...

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#17 LBH
February 08 2010, 02:29PM
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Is this the lowest post count ever on a Wanye article? Quite possibly

Also, Nielson & Chase with their Xbox sim game, how about that?

for those who never heard, they simmed the superbowl on the xbox friday morning and it came up with the saints winning 31-17! go figure

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