HABS ARE MOVIN ON

Wanye
May 13 2010 01:46PM

Much like the fan who shot the - ahem - "rap" video above, you have to hand it to the Montreal Canadiens for not only knocking off the Washington Capitals but now impossibly the Pittsburgh Penguins as well.

A team that has been given as much respect as Dustin Penner circa 2008 has proven itself to be much better than anyone thought - nearly to the point of a Dustin Penner circa 2010. And though we aren't normally in the business of caring about Montreal, we have to admit it is fun to watch.

We won't sit here and pretend that we are a Habs fan because we are not. But even the stone heartiest fan among us has to respect the fact that fans of Le Bleu Blanc et Rouge are an excitable lot and have been supporting this team through thick and thin througout the 249 years they have been in the league.

Some of the most passionate hockey fans we have ever met are Canadiens fans and every single citizen of the Nation must know some long suffering fan of the Canadiens that is now sitting breathlessly with his or her parents, grandparents, extended family and massive network of Habs fans in Edmonton - waiting for the Eastern Finals to begin.

That's how Habs fans roll - in packs.

CHILDHOOD MEMORIES OF A HAB FAN

Long ago, a hockey obsessed L'il Wanye had this french gym teacher in Juniuor High that thought the Habs hung the very moon and stars. He was a fantastic sort of guy who disregarded the Phys Ed curriculum set out by the Edmonton School board and for three wonderful years let us play floor hockey virtually every gym single class in the winter.

While the other classes were forced to play basketball, gymnastics or partake in the dreaded rope climb, our class enjoyed epic best of seven floor hockey series, while the teacher alternated between keeping detailed stats from game to game and occasionally taking the court to wire slapshots at hapless kids to "keep ze games close' . He even allowed to slash and body check each other telling kids to "keep ze head up and play tough." 

These floor hockey games and the teacher who wore a Habs hat like it was the school uniform are some of the best memories of school that remain in our booze addled brain.

This dude absolutely lived and died with the Habs. We can recall some of our lippier classmates chirping him when the Canadiens would lose and he would rise to the challenge on every single occasion - casting aside the required professionalism of a teacher and telling our classmates in his heavily accented english "you keeeds don't know not-ing about real hockey. Never will your Oiler (he refused to pluralize the word for some reason) ever measure up to Montreal."

One time he had to be our substitute social studies teacher for a day and - no single word of a lie - he dug up the Roch Carrier video above and let us watch that instead of learning facts and the like.

We can vivdly recall when Patrick Roy got traded to Colorado and he brought the whole class in to a circle at the centre of the floor hockey court. "Les enfants" he emotionally began, "Patrick Roy has slapped the City of Montreal across the face. He used to be the best goalie in hockey, now he is nothing."

We don't know where this guy is today, or what he is doing but as the Habs have won each of the eight games leading to this improbable berth in the Eastern Conference we can't help but laugh and think of the Junior High kids somewhere that are happily slashing away at one another under his watchful eye and smirking as he breathlessly explains how Hal Gill is better than any defenseman heretofore in the NHL.

We salute you Junior High Gym Teacher.

You and your beloved Habs have shocked us all.

 

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 baggedmilk
May 13 2010, 01:59PM
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Go Whalers!

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#3 philbox
May 13 2010, 02:07PM
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I have a neighbour who must be cut from the same cloth as your gym teacher Wanye. He is currently flying a Habs flag off his second story window AND has taken to watching the games on his back patio with the volume turned WAAAAAY up.

LOL

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#4 The Towel Boy
May 13 2010, 02:17PM
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"OHHhhhh!!" hahahahaha

So bad.

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#5 baggedmilk
May 13 2010, 02:24PM
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Wanye wrote:

You and Jason Gregor must be the *best* of friends with that kind of talk.

wink wink wink

I've always admired Gregor's resemblance to a pirate. Giant earings et all.

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#6 Archaeologuy
May 13 2010, 02:47PM
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I also had a French Juniour High Gym teacher. How many could there be in the city?

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#7 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
May 13 2010, 02:47PM
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My junior high gym teacher in St Albert told a kid he might as well go kill himself because he didn't want to learn how to line dance (girls wouldn't want to go out with him). Fired same day. Ah, memories.

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#8 Boris
May 13 2010, 02:48PM
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Back in old world where, as Gregor put it the other day when talking about a TV show that was on in the day, fosils walked the land...I lived in Montreal and saw the fans first hand. My Grandfather was a Habs fan which is why I became a Bruins fan. But I did get to see Bobby Orr, Espo, and Derek Sanderson live along with the other great players of the day. Even was at the game when the great Jean Beliveau scored his 498th, 499th and 500th goal against the North Stars (where Zack's Dad played for all you young wippersnappers out there). Habs fans are a bit nuts, especially when you wear your Bruins jersey to the Forum. But this gym teacher must have come from France because Francophones do not say ze they say da.

Does any one out there know if MPS has signed an Oiler contract yet?? (for the third time) or if you are from Montreal...for da terd time

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#9 Milli
May 13 2010, 02:59PM
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man those are some great storties, especially about telling the kid to off himself!@!!!!

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#10 stilldrinkingthekoolaid
May 13 2010, 03:01PM
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AS a long time Canadiens fan, and a die hard Oiler fan as well, I sniff memories of 2006. Here's hoping Bergeron pushes no one into Halak.

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#11 Oil_Loc8or
May 13 2010, 03:10PM
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Self edit. Due to the Pussification of the Nation

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#12 Senator Theo
May 13 2010, 03:10PM
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I like that guy on The Pint ad. I would totally hang out and drink beer with that guy.

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#13 Senator Theo
May 13 2010, 03:16PM
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Oil_Loc8or wrote:

Self edit. Due to the Pussification of the Nation

I'm pretty sure the Canadiens are not involved at all in any separatist actions. Some separatists are from Quebec, but not everything from Quebec is a separatist. ;)

As far as it being a dead language, about 25% of Canadians speak french as their first language.

~Even though you don't hear anyone speaking french in Alberta, that doesn't mean it's dead everywhere!

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#14 Ender
May 13 2010, 03:17PM
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stilldrinkingthekoolaid wrote:

AS a long time Canadiens fan, and a die hard Oiler fan as well, I sniff memories of 2006. Here's hoping Bergeron pushes no one into Halak.

I think Habs fans should be basing their hopes on memories of '93 instead of '06. '06 didn't have quite the right finish to it.

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#15 rubbertrout
May 13 2010, 03:19PM
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When I was in junior high I went spring skiing in Kimberly wearing an Oilers jersey. The liftee at the top of the hill was a Habs fan and many comments went back and forth over the course of the day. At the end of the day (the hill wasn't that busy) he had grown tired of our incessant taunts about french guys and the Oil's dominance of the hockey world so he stopped the chair about 15 feet from the top and proceeded to throw snowballs at us for about 10 minutes. Stupid Habs fan.

Of course the Oil went on to win the cup that year so I felt vindicated.

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#16 Aleslav Smidsky
May 13 2010, 03:24PM
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@Oil_Loc8or

I get a kick out of your mentally challenged posts.

Did you notice that most of the goals Pens had in a series was done by Malkin work on PP? You haven't watched the play-offs, so what do you know?

What is a dead language? How does a language die?

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#17 Tracie
May 13 2010, 03:31PM
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@Boris

Does any one out there know if MPS has signed an Oiler contract yet??

I haven't heard anything about MPS being signed. And nothing has been said on this site if MPS has been signed...hope that helps!

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#18 Archaeologuy
May 13 2010, 03:33PM
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@Tracie

I dont think he has.

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#19 Wanyes bastard child
May 13 2010, 03:39PM
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stilldrinkingthekoolaid wrote:

AS a long time Canadiens fan, and a die hard Oiler fan as well, I sniff memories of 2006. Here's hoping Bergeron pushes no one into Halak.

Yeah, I haven't missed a Montreal game yet this playoff's and I cringe every time I see #47 on the ice...

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#20 Oil_Loc8or
May 13 2010, 03:39PM
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Aleslav Smidsky wrote:

I get a kick out of your mentally challenged posts.

Did you notice that most of the goals Pens had in a series was done by Malkin work on PP? You haven't watched the play-offs, so what do you know?

What is a dead language? How does a language die?

It was a joke. I haven't watched the playoffs ? I wrote " I haven't had a reason to watch ". Unlike you and the rest of the bandwagon jumpers.

Yes Malkin played well on the PP, he played brutal when he had to win any one on one battles.

Just because you watch the games doesn't mean you have a clue what's going on in it.

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#21 stilldrinkingthekoolaid
May 13 2010, 03:46PM
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Oil_Loc8or wrote:

Self edit. Due to the Pussification of the Nation

if it was the Nordiques, I MIGHT agree with the Seperatiste Statement. But maybe visit Montreal , which is IMHO Canada's only truly Cosmopolitan City. As far as French being a dead language,visit Legal or Morinville or St Paul and tell those folks to stop speaking a dead language.

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#22 Bucknuck
May 13 2010, 03:50PM
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Oil_Loc8or wrote:

Self edit. Due to the Pussification of the Nation

No Wonder they want to separate with people posting "dead language" insults here in Western Canada. Are you trying to be ignorant and inflammatory or were you being sarcastic?

For the record, 136 million people speak french as their first language. If you think it is a dead language I am afraid you are sorely mistaken 136 million times over.

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#23 Oil_Loc8or
May 13 2010, 03:52PM
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@stilldrinkingthekoolaid

It was a joke buddy lighten up. I could have mentioned smoked meat etc.

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#24 Oil_Loc8or
May 13 2010, 04:08PM
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@Bucknuck

Being a little sarcastic never hurt did it ? I have a ton of friends that are french it always gets them going

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#25 Oil_Loc8or
May 13 2010, 04:17PM
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ne peut pas n'importe qui predre un plaisantaient ? desole nous ne sort pas part le meme sens de humour Si elle etait offensant Je serai heureux de le supprimer? fit penser tu les gars serait prendre il ainsi grave.

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#26 BUCK75
May 13 2010, 04:24PM
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@Oil_Loc8or

130 million people people more than 30 countries who speak it as their first or second language think you should do a little research before making a bold statement like that.

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#27 SmellOfVictory
May 13 2010, 04:31PM
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Bucknuck wrote:

No Wonder they want to separate with people posting "dead language" insults here in Western Canada. Are you trying to be ignorant and inflammatory or were you being sarcastic?

For the record, 136 million people speak french as their first language. If you think it is a dead language I am afraid you are sorely mistaken 136 million times over.

By that logic, anyone who says Latin is a dead language must be wrong thousands of times over. :p Not saying that French is dead, but I couldn't pass up a chance to nitpick.

I'd say that, of all the European languages, French will probably be the last to bow out to English, simply because the French have such a hard-on for themselves (and Quebecers even more so).

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#28 BUCK75
May 13 2010, 04:34PM
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@Oil_Loc8or

offensive? Non, fou oui.

Merci beaucoup de logiciels de traduction

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#29 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
May 13 2010, 04:39PM
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http://www.theglobeandmail.com/sports/hockey/crosby-turns-down-team-canada-invite/article1568093/

Who was asking about prospective Penguins playing for Team Canada?

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#30 David S
May 13 2010, 04:43PM
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Damn you Wanye for reminding me of a time when we had a hockey team that made us all proud.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsbYx6hevoQ

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#31 David S
May 13 2010, 04:47PM
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Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things wrote:

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/sports/hockey/crosby-turns-down-team-canada-invite/article1568093/

Who was asking about prospective Penguins playing for Team Canada?

Can't blame him. He's gotta be burned out. He'd be in to win if it wasn't for the Olympics, although I suspect the Penguins would still be alive if it weren't for those same Olympics.

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#32 BUCK75
May 13 2010, 04:48PM
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@David S

You have to think San Jose is gonna run out of gas too - they must have had 10 guys playing in the olympics.

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#33 Archaeologuy
May 13 2010, 04:51PM
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BUCK75 wrote:

You have to think San Jose is gonna run out of gas too - they must have had 10 guys playing in the olympics.

San Jose has also had a lot of rest since they beat up on Detroit.

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#34 Senator Theo
May 13 2010, 04:52PM
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Oil_Loc8or wrote:

It was a joke buddy lighten up. I could have mentioned smoked meat etc.

If you have to tell everybody (more than once) which parts are the jokes, the problem might be with the material... ;)

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#35 RyanB
May 13 2010, 04:59PM
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Archaeologuy wrote:

San Jose has also had a lot of rest since they beat up on Detroit.

The Sharks had 6 skaters and both goalies playing in the Olympics. But they will have had a week off since their last game by the time they kick off the Western Final on Sunday so I agree that any wear and tear from the Olympics shouldn't really be an issue any more.

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#36 Oil_Loc8or
May 13 2010, 05:40PM
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@Senator Theo

I did a self edit. I may have had to mention it more then once since yourself and others seem to reply to my post with the same comments.

Pussification of the Nation is getting stronger everyday

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#37 Hemmertime
May 13 2010, 06:02PM
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Wheres the posts about Eberle? Confirmed to be playing next game, woot!

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#38 jeanshorts
May 13 2010, 06:58PM
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1. The hockey sweater may be the greatest story of all time

2. The speed at which the Habs bandwagon is filling up is sickening. I enjoyed seeing them oust the godless Penguins, and I mostly lean toward underdogs, and they have been playing some great hockey, but can we all take a step back for a minute and imagine what it would be like if the Habs win the cup this year? We all know how insufferable those fans are already, imagine them having a cinderella cup win to throw around from now to eternity? Ugh. It's bad enough they never let up with the whole "Last Canadian team to win the cup" rhetoric. I'm super glad both the Hawks and Sharks made it to the West finals so odds of the Habs running the table aren't so terrifying.

3. BRING BACK THE WHALERS!

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#39 m3sh
May 13 2010, 09:35PM
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@jeanshorts

Couldn't agree more. It's almost as bad as what would happen if the Nucks or Leafs ever win.

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#40 Butters
May 13 2010, 11:28PM
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I used to love the way the Habs PA announcer would announce the 3 Stars, Le troisieme etoile, da turd Star...

I will be backing the Habs temporarily-One Canadian team left, seemingly comprised mostly of Americans and Europeans mind you.

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#41 1011011
May 14 2010, 12:49AM
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The surge in french posts on here is breathtaking.

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#43 Petr's Jofa
May 14 2010, 05:23AM
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The Hockey Sweater should come with a warning and age restriction. It may look like a cute story, but its effect can be damaging and long lasting.

I read that story to my daughter and because of all the Habs/Maurice Richard propaganda in it she now believes that the Canadiens are the best hockey team in teh world. Worst of all, her little 5 year old mind is actually following the playoff brackets for the first time and she realizes that the Habs are one of the last 4 teams. A Habs run could cement he love of the habs and cause irreversable damage to my poor daugther's hockey sense.

When I try and tell her that the Oilers are team she should cheer for, she just looks and me blankly and explains that the Oilers weren't even good enough to get on the sheet of paper she has.

It's tough times for the family here in Newfoundland surrounded by Hab and Leaf fans. I am seriously thinking of pulling her out of fench immersion and planning a trip home so we can have an intervention at Rexall.

The only silver lining is that she has come to undertsand that Mr. Eaton's Toronto Maple Leafs suck.

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#44 madjam
May 14 2010, 07:37AM
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Perhaps Lowe would like to open up Rexall and show Habs run to the Cup in French only on a big screen . That could be fun and culturally advantageous . Conservative Tambellini might say no , until he has time to assess this move, about 3 years . Besides , Tams might say he has still to decide on custodial staff to accommadate that crowd . He can't remember if he canned them all yet (tongue in cheek).

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#45 Tracie
May 14 2010, 08:23AM
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@ Boris

Since you asked, here's some news on MPS:

http://www.edmontonsun.com/sports/columnists/2010/05/13/13940646.html

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#46 Boris
May 14 2010, 09:09AM
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Tracie wrote:

@ Boris

Since you asked, here's some news on MPS:

http://www.edmontonsun.com/sports/columnists/2010/05/13/13940646.html

Great article, can't wait to see him in Oilers Silks. Thanks Tracie

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#47 Oil_Loc8or
May 14 2010, 09:12AM
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Merci pour le lien Tracie. Oui Wayne n'est pas tout le monde parler francais ?

Je etait force a regarder le hockey chandail quand je etait plus jeunes.

Montreal vers Boston serait un match classique de haut. Il n'est toujours pas Oilers hockey.

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#48 Boris
May 14 2010, 09:43AM
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Oil_Loc8or wrote:

Merci pour le lien Tracie. Oui Wayne n'est pas tout le monde parler francais ?

Je etait force a regarder le hockey chandail quand je etait plus jeunes.

Montreal vers Boston serait un match classique de haut. Il n'est toujours pas Oilers hockey.

On your last comment, yes it will be a great series if it happens and you are right about the Oilers this year....But I have faith and maybe even by next year we will be able to kick some Blue,White and Red ass...but for now Go Habs!

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#50 Oil_Loc8or
May 14 2010, 09:54AM
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Desole de dire cela, mais pour une rason quelconque, je veux les requins a gagner.Il n'ont jamais gagne la coup. Je ne pense pas que je pourraismanipuler les fans de Montreal s'ils gagne. Mais de toute facon cela a ete un bon series eliminatoires cette annee. Imaginez si Les Oilers d'ou po N'oubliez pas les Oilers d'ou i'equipe du Canada de retour a 06 ?

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