Staios! Is! Available! Contest Entries
Kent Wilson
February 24 2011 09:27PM

About a week ago I was randomly offering Steve Staios to various rival clubs fans on Twitter. I came up with this wacky idea for a contest on a whim (thanks to some of the creative responses I got via twitter), so I was pleasantly surprised by the response. Following are 17 of the top "Staios ads" I've received since I put out the announcement.
The winner will be determined based on Flamesnation staff input as well as reader response. As mentioned at the outset, the victor will win not only praise and accolades, but $100 worth of gift certificates to a Calgary based Hudson's Tap House (and yes...you can spend that on food AND booze).
(Disclaimer - Steve Staios is by all accounts a good guy and probably doesn't deserve any of this.)
And now, the good stuff. Entries are presented in no particularly order and I've decided not to disclose the identity of the entrant so that voting/results are unbiased (although the creators are free to take credit in the comments I suppose). Enjoy!
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This entrant took my suggestion of using "Slap Chop Vince" and ran with it. Bonus points for the Kotalik throw-in.

The true genius of this one is the carefully positioned heads of Feaster and Sutter in the background.

This is less photoshop work than just a brilliant piece of "found art".

I feel like both Skechers and TSN should be paying us for this one.

"Now look at your cap space. Now back at me. Now back at your cap space..."

I think we all knew that Olli would make an appearance in this contest.

I also would have accepted "Abbotsford Heat" on the brown sign.

Given Staios' state of undress, that could also be sexual harassment Panda.

Prepare for a barrage of irrate Leaf Fans.

I feel Jay may have overestimated the market with that 6th round pick asking price.

It's like the Mona Lisa smile. Only more...creepy guy in an alley-ish.

Try walking around the room while looking at this picture. Do the eyes follow you around too?

Ahh, the Last Supper. Always fertile ground for parody. Notice Kevin Lowe to the left.
The addition of Steve's Head and tighty-whitey's to the Flames "Guardian" is good, but it's the description that makes this one.

Best part? Sutter's name crossed off and replaced with Feaster.

Relief is just a trade away. Cap relief.
Okay folks...this next one is a bit...suggestive. If you're easily offended, don't scroll down.
You were warned...

No comment required.

A late addition by Colin S. Actually, this was one of the first entries I received but it unfortunately slipped through the cracks. Sorry about that Colin.
Please leave your votes/comments/favorites in the comment section. I'll contact the winner within the next few days.
Thanks again everyone. And no hard feelings I hope Steve.
Last Supper has my vote! Some great stuff here. It made me straight up laugh in the middle of shoppers drug mart. Not an easy task...
Definitely have to go with the slap chop one. Might even make it my facebook, profile, just to spread the word.
I also vote for the Slap Chop one. Pure Gold.
Slap Chop gets my vote! The addition of Kotalik made it great. I'd make that deal in a heartbeat
I don't feel right about voting for my own, so my vote goes to Old Staios with the caveat that Kent's caption was the clincher.
My favorite was the Phil Kessel one. My second choice would be the Last Supper.
I'd vote (in no particular order) - slap chop for the effort and artwork - old Staois for being the cleverest (and ya Kent's caption clinched it) - the kessel. For some reason that one made me laugh the loudest.
This might be the greatest thing ever. Kent wins for coming up with this idea.
You missed mine, Kent!
That said, I really like the Burger King one, voted.
Lotta creativity, but I'm voting for the one that makes fun of Kessel, because I actually giggled at it.
First is the Golden Rental-
Second, I like the used car salesman "Just call Jay". That's exactly what Feaster looks like to me.
Forgot to mention great job to all.
Im really surprised the BK Steve isn't getting more love. It's perverse and quality work. It even has the pro-rated cap space correct ($0.25M).
yeah, I'll go with BK Steve..runners up, Kessel (it's funny cause it's true), and Last Supper.
These are all pretty amazing,
My first vote goes to creepy Steve (as per Kent's comments, creepy steve in the alley lookalike)
My second vote would be the Just Call Jay advert.
My Third would be the Kessel, the look on Kessel's face, nailed it!
There's lots of good stuff here! My preference goes to: 1) Slap chop, 2) Old Staios, 3) Golden Rental
BK Steve has my vote all the way. A golden rental is pretty creative as well...
Golden Rental has to be the one. "The Lame" is funny as well, since, "Witnessed the invention of fire..." is something I wish I had come up with.
Kesler one is the best, in our opinion.
Well done, everyone! At the risk of being a "Frank Grimes" (from The Simpsons), I simply can't support the Slap Chop entries...
- At the children's nuclear power plant contest -
Mr. Burns: (to Homer) Could you explain your model, young man? Homer: Well basically, I just copied the plant we have now. Mr. Burns: Hmmm. Homer: Then, I added some fins to lower wind resistance. And this racing stripe here I feel is pretty sharp. Mr. Burns: Agreed. First prize. (gives Homer a blue ribbon) Frank Grimes: What?! - Scene -
Hahaha.. funny critique for sure. So who's do you like?
aside from my entry, I want to congratulate everyone.. Some great imagination put forth here. I still haven't decided who I'm voting for.. since it would be inappropriate to vote for my own.
I'm going with The Golden Voice and the real estate one. Good work to all.
Yeah, Old Staios made me laugh out loud.
Picking a winner for this is going to be bloody difficult.
I think the Kessel one is my favorite. Scary because it's true (and because of his face).
Second favorite is the Golden Rental. Love the Sutter cross out.
Third is definitely the 'relief is a trade away.'
Nice photoshopping!
Awesome job everybody. Put me down for Old Staios.
JUST ASK JAY nicely done, ALL
Good job, Kent, you inspired some good laughs!
Kessel is brilliant. That face says it all!
old staios is my vote
Wow. So much gold.
I'm going to go with "Just Call Jay" as my favorite, but the Kotalik/Staios slapchop and Old Staios ads are not far behind at all.
(And I love the "Now look at your cap space" caption).
But a great job by everyone involved. Thanks for making my morning.
Hmmm One question. Although I like all the entries, I thought the purpose of this was to advertise Staios being available to another team, to take off our hands?
Does that affect some of the entries? While some of them are funny.. they have nothing to do with advertising his availability.