THOSE DAMNED CANUCKS

Wanye
May 25 2011 12:03PM

For three consecutive rounds we have called for the Canucks to lose their serieses. For three consecutive rounds we have been disappointed. We have now upped the ante and had a buddy in Vegas place a cool $10 beans on every team in the Conference Finals to win save the Canucks. Money talks Nation and our money says "anyone but Vancouver."

HEAVEN HELP US ALL

The most recent rapture may have passed us by with little end-of-days-type-activity but the one sign of the apocalypse we can't shake is the fact that the Canucks are still cruising along in these here playoffs. Watching the Sedins and Luongo celebrating an overtime series win dang near made our eyes cry tears of battery acid last night.

They are now officially running on all cylinders Chez Canucks. The twins are scoring left and right, Luongo is kicking out the old pads turning away the rubber scoring discs like crazy. Kesler is hating everyone and smashing everything. It is everything we didn't want to see, happening before our very tear filled eyes.

Oh the injustice of it all. The fairweather fans in Vancouver will now jack the price of tickets straight through the roof. Brand new Canucks jerseys will fly off the shelves at Sport Cheks everywhere and people all around the Country will suddenly remember "they ARE huge Canucks fans and have been all along! Didn't you know?"

Our stupid brother is living la vida loca out in Vancouver. He called us last night in complete and utter joy. "Seems the Canucks are four away from a Cup win. Care to place a wager on things?" Not only did we take him up on his ill advised bet but we cursed him as only a fan of the Oilers could.

"We will bet you a few clams that the Canucks lose. But for an extra element of difficulty we want odds that you suffer the same fate as have the Oilers and the Flames. Push the series to a seventh game then gas it in the final match. I place a second bet that the Canucks lose in 7 and break all your BC Bud loving hearts."

And so it was written and so it was done. Damn you Canucks. Damn you straight to Game Seven Hell.

SILVER LINING

Nice work in the playoffs Dany Heatley. You dink.

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#51 Dutchscooter
May 25 2011, 06:43PM
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I only hope that by Game 5 Vancouver slips into the Pacific after the shock of Boston winning.....and as it slips into the sea, it'll beat Luongo 5-hole.

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#52 Todd
May 25 2011, 10:43PM
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The Match up

Van vs Boston: Really? With dough bough Tim Thomas in net. Did any of you guys watch the game tonight? WOW He's no Bobby Lou that's for sure.

Hammy will shutdown Lucic

I'll take H.Sedin and Kesler up the middle anyday over anybody Boston has.

SO Nucks in 6.

Van vs Tampa

They have NO D. Ohlund Really? YOu were great as a nuck 4 years ago. Hedman suffers from Corey Sarich syndrome.

WE have so much depth I'll say Nucks in 5.

Victoria marry me, that was the best take on this website.

Flames fan you should take Ty Rattie with your pick. Just a thought.

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#53 OilDrop89
May 25 2011, 10:52PM
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@Victoria

Sucks that you guys have to... you know, plan the route for the parade rather than already have one in place, one that's... held parades of the winning variety before.

We've been holding this whole "Stanley Cup" party for years, nice to see that you guys are finally catching up.

Worst of luck to ya.

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#54 Mantastic
May 25 2011, 11:52PM
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@jeanshorts

never enough, you need anitbiotics just sitting down at that place, lol

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#55 striker777
May 26 2011, 12:59AM
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I hate the canucks as much as everyone else in Canada, but it was nice to see Danny "Swimming with Dolphins" Heatley lose again. Enjoy the ocean, Danny and hope you'll never touch the Cup!

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#56 Danny Lawson
May 26 2011, 11:11AM
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Go 'Nucks Go!

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#57 Mr. Pederson
May 26 2011, 03:12PM
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@Sheldon "Oilers Fan for Life!!!"

Hahaha touchay Sheldon. I'd also like the NFL to figure it out.

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#58 Beemser
May 27 2011, 01:15PM
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This board really makes me happy. People who might just stop watching hockey altogether if the Canucks win. People who have to make plans to blow money on big toys if the Canucks win. People who get so irritated at an organization actually celebrating an important win that they have to turn it into a rant. People who are made physically sick by the failure of Chicago, Nashville and SJ to beat the best team in the league.

Knowing that this Canucks run is hurting you all _that much_ is like icing on a cake. So sweet and tasty, but good looking too.

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#59 Bobby J
May 27 2011, 04:30PM
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Im a Leaf Fan Living in Vancouver, and yes I know the Leafs have seen better days. but it is so annoying listening to David Pratt...constantly knocking the Leafs...all year long, only to seek approval from Toronto Fans...."Ya I know your leafs suck, I hate them and anything to do with Toronto, but what do you think of the Canucks?" While I lived in Toronto, Vancouver was an afterthought.."Ok so they got an NHL team, good for them" Vancouver believes that it is hard done by being out west, that the whole world revolves around Toronto? "We have to have early games to makes the folks back east happy" Blah Blah Blah... where it really matters...in the rest of Canada, No one really cares about the Canucks in the rest of Canada, thanks to likes of David Pratt. I would cheer for the Oilers, Flames and Habs before I would cheer for the Canucks...Give my team respect, and you will get it from me... A B C

Anybody But Canucks

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