SHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Wanye
June 09 2011 12:06AM

Having been outscored 12-1 in the past two ice hockey matches and now tied in the series at two games apiece. That dead quiet you hear on the West Coast tonight is the shocked silence of hard core Canucks fans and the vacuum of tens of thousands of bandwagon fans who have suddenly disappeared.

FOR HEAVENS SAKES VAN

This was the scene exactly 1 hour after the Game three loss on the streets of Vancouver. Can you see all the little people in the street looking bored and wishing they had someone to pepper spray into another dimension? That's the Vancouver Police, employed at great expense by the City of Vancouver to control the throngs of fans who showed up after wins in Games 1 and 2.

They were expecting Mardi Gras after Game 3 and instead got a live version of that show Life After People.

Somewhere in the last two games the Canucks have fumbled their opportunity to be Canada's team and the Canucks and their fans are getting ripped to shreds on websites, blogs and in the twittersphere all over the world. Many fans can't figure out why.

Here. We will give you our best guess.

TAKE IT FROM A LOSER-HARDCORE FAN

We consider ourselves to be a die hard fan of the Edmonton Oilers. As such our joy-misery experience can be best demonstrated with the graph above. We would literally give both of our eyes and one of our legs for the Oilers to have just blown a 2-0 2011 Stanley Cup series lead. We would kill any number of people just to get the Oilers to be swept in a single round.

Things are so dire of late that we actually tweeted Oilers D Ryan Whitney who indicated he was at the game in Boston tonight, telling him to "soak in the atmosphere so you will be ready for big Oilers playoff games soon."

What kind of loser does this sort of thing? The kind of loser that needs to keep hope alive by any means necessary.

TOO MANY OF YOU LOOK LIKE THIS

From the impossibly ignorant move of relighting the Olympic Flame on behalf of Canada to having only ghosts in the streets three games later. How can a City run so hot and cold at the exact same time? It is this idea of bandwagon jumping apathy mixed with the high handed belief that you are "Canada's Team" that is driving so many into the waiting arms of the Temporary Boston Bruins fans.

Part of the fun of living and dying with a hockey team is that you earn your dizzying highs by experiencing many terrifying lows. You are with them for the ups and the downs all the way through and that is the experience that makes a die hard fan.

There are tons of hard core Canucks fans we have encountered on twitter and in real life who are in complete shambles tonight. Good hard working types who can recall struggling through the days of Corey Hirsch and Ed Jovonovski in the hopes that the Canucks would one day win the Cup.

They remember the failed Mark Messier experiement when Veteran leadership was brought in at an extremely high cost to put the team over the top in the late 1990s only to see an expensive trip to the bottom of the NHL.

Now here they are in what should be their finest series in the past 17 years and they are spending half their time defending their team and half their time defending their fellow fans.  These folks deserve a Cup more than a great many hockey fans in Canada. 

Besmirched by the newly minted Canucks fans that show up by the tens of thousands only to disappear into the ether hours later, they deserve better than this. The City of Vancouver - arguably one of the finest places in the world - deserves better than this.

Hell even the Vancouver Canucks deserve better.

Enough is enough fair weather Canucks fans. Don't run away into your million dollar condos, fresh fish restaurants and movie sets. Come out into the streets and support the Canucks on the eve of an absolutely monumental Game 5.

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#51 Soft Hands McSteeley - FIST Movement
June 09 2011, 09:05AM
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edmontoncritic - BRoadwAY wrote:

Uhhhhhhhh Did Gregor write this under Wanye's name or mayyyyybe wanye watched Eberle's first goal a couple times too many last night and got a little emotional.

Personally, even after seeing hardcore canucks fans crushed this week and I do feel their pain. Them being up 2-0 is like the oilers being up in GM1 and thinking......nevermind

Point is, I HATE their team. They are the worst collection of skaters known to man. They play the game, "the wrong way" and when I see that beast among girls, Tim Thomas, I fall in love with that team. After CHI, I think Bos is now my 3rd favorite team.

And as some canuck fan had to say last night on 1040, "And Henrik, he gets slashed and hacked and puched and just stands there like a MORON" this really entertained me. Go broooooons

Do I have so much anger pent up that it forced a double post... YUP!

#smashingthingsintheofficetoday

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#52 oilbaron
June 09 2011, 09:05AM
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Speechless Wayne, I'm just utterly speechless right now. WOW

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Ya I want vancouver to lose as much as anyone here, but is anyone else at least a little bummed that it means that Seguin wins the cup before Hall giving all the Seguin lovers an extra meaningless argument when they try to say that he's better than Hall when hes clearly not? (I say meaningless not referencing Lord Stanleys mug as being meaningless just that Seguin has had such a small hand in taking them there that that argument has no merit in this player vs player debate)

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#54 BUCK75
June 09 2011, 09:10AM
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While golfing last night I was listening to the game on my BB using Tune in Radio. John Shorthouse was starting to plant the seeds of doubt last night by mentioning that Luon8o had let in 12 goals on 46 shots or something. He didn't sound like the "home town" play by play guy.

I also heard on the broadcast that EA sports has correctly picked the winners of every series so far? EA has pick Vancouver in 7, maybe they will be wrong this time!

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#55 Gange
June 09 2011, 09:12AM
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@#94 sized hole where my heart used to be...

I don't thin the Hall vs Seguin will be settled by a cup win. They are both quality players but no one will know for a few years.

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#56 Soft Hands McSteeley - FIST Movement
June 09 2011, 09:13AM
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#94 sized hole where my heart used to be... wrote:

Ya I want vancouver to lose as much as anyone here, but is anyone else at least a little bummed that it means that Seguin wins the cup before Hall giving all the Seguin lovers an extra meaningless argument when they try to say that he's better than Hall when hes clearly not? (I say meaningless not referencing Lord Stanleys mug as being meaningless just that Seguin has had such a small hand in taking them there that that argument has no merit in this player vs player debate)

Sequin is in the playoffs? Don't you have to average more icetime than @BizNasty2point0 for it to count?

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#57 9 Inches Uncut
June 09 2011, 09:46AM
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Canucks fans these days remind me of Flyers fans from the 90s and that's to say they are terrible.

And both teams won jack.

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Gange wrote:

I don't thin the Hall vs Seguin will be settled by a cup win. They are both quality players but no one will know for a few years.

I know it wont be settled by a cup win in a rookie season but I was just saying its unfortunate that Seguin will win the cup because I know some Seguin supporters will try and use the argument,

but what it comes down to in this Stanley cup finals is i don't really like the bruins so im not cheering for them to win, just for the canucks to lose

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Soft Hands McSteeley - FIST Movement wrote:

Sequin is in the playoffs? Don't you have to average more icetime than @BizNasty2point0 for it to count?

haha touche (too lazy to put in the e with the apotrophe thing) {i realize me typing in those parentheses probably took longer than putting in the proper e wouldd have... oh well}

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#60 Oilers4ever
June 09 2011, 09:59AM
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Atta boy Bruins... Show them Canucks who really has the dominant team... Better goaltending, stronger team and dare I say faster when the Bruins show up.... I called this Bruins in 6 to start with and I hold to that... The Canucks won't win another game and the Bruins are in Luongo's head, much like the Hawks were for the last two years until their series with them this year.

Besides, technically, I bet if you looked at it there are more Canadian players on Boston than VanCity anyways. :)

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#61 mayorpoop
June 09 2011, 10:11AM
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someone needs to check if wanye is still alive. i figure he must be pretty remorseful about writing the words "canucks" and "deserving" in the same sentence.

i get the ace ventura bath tub scene (crying game) image in my head when i think of what wanye must be doing....gross.

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#62 edmontoncritic - BRoadwAY
June 09 2011, 10:19AM
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Soft Hands McSteeley - FIST Movement wrote:

Do I have so much anger pent up that it forced a double post... YUP!

#smashingthingsintheofficetoday

YES, YES, YES!! Raaaaaage my friend! Just dont hit any oiler fans unless its with a high five!!

This canucks run has brought the nation together in hatred. No more Gilbert sucks, or cogs cant win a faceoff.....STRICTLY FOCUS FOR THAT DEVIL OF A TEAM!

At this point Timmy Thomas can have anything he wants that I own! I secretly want Tambo to bring along a crazy goalie like him. Screw the butterfly!

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#63 edmontoncritic - BRoadwAY
June 09 2011, 10:23AM
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@Oilanderp wrote:

I kind of feel bad for Luongo. No goalie deserves to be pooped on like his own fans are pooping on him now.*

*Except Ty Conklin**

**Ok, sigh, maybe not even him. Your goalie is your goalie.

After Conklin won the MVP at the world champs, I had some serious faith in him.......

POOP LIKE YOUVE NEVER POOPED BEFORE! Conklin should be on the list of words not allowed. Pronger fine, Heatley fine. There is NOTHING productive about mentioning TC's name

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#64 Next up, is Connor McJesus.
June 09 2011, 10:34AM
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As much as we'd all love to see the Canucks get stomped on, to have it radically ripped from their grasp like this will prompt many to share in a second or two of sympathy for Canucks Nation.

GO BRUINS!

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#65 positivebrontefan
June 09 2011, 10:35AM
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Time to troll. The Canaucks Game Day Review is up at Canucks Army.

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#66 Mantastic
June 09 2011, 10:37AM
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did wanye's evil brother write this?

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#67 DieHard
June 09 2011, 10:40AM
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Is Vancouver the new (Is Calgary the new Edmonton)? Fans, everywhere apparently, and PLAYERS despise the Nucks. Circle will be complete on Monday.

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#68 Mantastic
June 09 2011, 10:44AM
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@Rick

and a goalie that is signed for another 10 seasons!

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#69 antro
June 09 2011, 11:39AM
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Misery?...you have no idea what it was like being a Canucks fan during most of the 80s, before Trevor Linden and Pat Quinn. Save that one brief fluke-out to the Finals in 1982.

What's a couple more blow-outs? I may be the only Canucks fan who thought so, but the Canucks were pretty good last night (I'm not sure if the scoring chance count bears me out, but the corsi seems to support me). Tim Thomas was spectacular, and my hat off to him. I heard he could play this way, and now I'm seeing it with my own eyes.

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#70 Sheldon "Oilers Fan for Life!!!"
June 09 2011, 11:52AM
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Old Soldier wrote:

First I have to say I am a huge fan of the site and a proud new member of Oiler Nation.

Regarding the series, I, like most of those posting, have enjoyed the last two games immensely (proof positive when my neighbors complained about the noise after each Bruins goal).

But in trying to be objective, I have to say maybe its just me, but isnt there something distinctly difficult about trying to like the Canucks. Looking back at the Flames run, or the Sens run, I think it was a bit easier to accept the fact they might win. Perhaps its the fact they were underdogs, much like our own boys in their run.

But these Canucks, the arrogance from Kesler and Bieksa every time I see a clip makes me want to seriously wish I could get a shot in. There is just something about this team that causes that undeniable hate in me, and I think a lot of other Canadians feel the same way. And because of that disgust I find it hard to feel any empathy for a Canuck fan, hardcore or otherwise.

No humility, no sense of gratitude for being in the final, all I sense is entitlement and no I will not be pleased if that entitlement is ever rewarded with a cup win.

I agree I so love Canada, Hockey, Maple syrup and What happened in the Olympics BUT I hate a lot of those same things as you described about Vancouver. When Calgary was there in 04 I really did cheer for them but it is neigh impossible right now to cheer for Vancouver. Sad Really.

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#71 Jano
June 09 2011, 11:56AM
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@antro

Yeah, keep playing "pretty good" and enjoy watching the Bruins run all over you again on Friday night. Twist the numbers around anyway you like, but you were dominated for most of the game.

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#72 JorgeR
June 09 2011, 12:21PM
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Where did you find that picture of me Wanye?

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#73 Dyckster
June 09 2011, 12:45PM
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I'd like Boston to win as much as the rest of you would. But I would NOT, I repeat NOT want Lucic on any team I cheered for. He's Kesler, Burrows, Lapierre, only in different colors.

Hate the guy.

Seriously.

I do.

Honest.

BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONS!

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#74 rubbertrout
June 09 2011, 12:59PM
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The Towel Boy wrote:

Nuh uh! NHLPA '93 was better. It had Ray Ferraro and Steve Thomas. THEY WERE UNSTOPPABLE!!!

Now, further on this topic of the Canucks:

SUCK IT, CANUCKS!

But you couldn't take the goalie to stop the dreaded breakaway move! As I said before, all arguments to the contrary are invalid.

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#75 OilerLand
June 09 2011, 02:03PM
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EA Sports predicted the winners in each series (except 1 i think?) but they didn't account for massive CHOKAGE because it's actually hard to do that in a video game. Computers are smarter than humans, you see, and a computer would ask "why would you want to suck so bad? isn't that counter-intuitive?"

Reminds me of an early Jim Carrey joke "Driving into oncoming traffic is counterproductive!"

We might just be witnessing the biggest choke job of all time. Might.

If - Boston can keep up the rough stuff and keep nailing Sedin/Kesler/Burrows

If - Thomas can play the way he's been playing

If - the Boston D can play the way they've been playing infront of Thomas

If - Vancouver's D continues to look flat, tired, slow and thin (like a supermodel)

If - Luongo lets in a softie at least once per game

If - If Boston can score first.

I will celebrate without remorse if Boston wins this series. I have a feeling Gm5 will be a little closer to start out, but by the end I think Boston flies home with a 3-2 lead. I am thinking Gm5 will be 3-1 Boston.

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#76 Dog Train
June 09 2011, 08:43PM
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You hit the nail on the head Wanye. What I wouldn't give to be 2 wins away from winning the Stanley Cup with 2 out of 3 games at home. Real, diehard Vancouver fans have paid their dues. These fairweather fans seem spoiled and I don't understand how that can happen when your team has never won before. This should be new, fresh and a special moment for all of B.C. Instead it's painting a poor image of what is otherwise a wonderful city.

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#77 todd
June 09 2011, 09:35PM
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Pile on all you want haters, because victory will be that much sweeter when the Nucks win in 6. I find it funny how you guys go on and off the wagon. I also find it HILARIOUS how many Nucks car flags there are in ye old cowtown.

Nucks will be fine. BOOK IT

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#78 Archaeologuy
June 10 2011, 08:11AM
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@edmontoncritic - BRoadwAY

*Slow Clap*

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#79 rubbertrout
June 10 2011, 08:48AM
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@edmontoncritic - BRoadwAY

I echo the slow clap.

The only thing is that this article is also placed on Flames Nation as well. If Todd is taking shots at the Calgary folk then I'm OK with it.

Of course he is a Canucks fan so either way he still loses.

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#80 edmontoncritic - BRoadwAY
June 10 2011, 03:26PM
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rubbertrout wrote:

I echo the slow clap.

The only thing is that this article is also placed on Flames Nation as well. If Todd is taking shots at the Calgary folk then I'm OK with it.

Of course he is a Canucks fan so either way he still loses.

You are wiser than I rubbertrout. I didn't think Wanye knew how to multiple post! Now wonder why he was so weak in this article!?!?

And yes, lose is what the canucks and fans will do!!! Muahahahahahaha .............please dont win

In these games, I watch and cheer 5000000000000% against the canucks but when they win, it doesnt hurt. This is where its different watchin the oilers for me. Those losses all hurt, every goal, scoring chance and lost fight

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#81 todd
June 11 2011, 12:11AM
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Mocke me all you want Oiler and Flames fans, but my team is ONE WIN away from the CUP!

GO LOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU GO!

What depth! We are winning without the Sedins and Kesler.

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#82 antro
June 11 2011, 12:01PM
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Jano wrote:

Yeah, keep playing "pretty good" and enjoy watching the Bruins run all over you again on Friday night. Twist the numbers around anyway you like, but you were dominated for most of the game.

"Dominated for most of the game" ... actually those who scored it disagree. Of course, why let facts bother you. I have to say, I enjoyed watching the Bruins run all over me again last night. At least, given your attitude to facts, that's probably how you saw it, right?

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