GDB 71.0: BATTLE OF ALBERTA
Wanye
March 16 2012 12:20PM
Oh hey Calgary. How’s things? It’s just Wanye - your friendly neighbour to the North. Just thought we’d pop in with a few friends to talk about the ice hockey match this evening.
Things aren’t as dire up here in Edmonton as seasons of XXth, 30th, 30th and 29th would suggest. Yeah we know you are better than us on paper. You have an all world goalie capable of winning you any game he decides. We have a worn out old Russian and some 9 foot something or other backing him up.
Your Captain has X 30 goal seasons in a row, our Captain makes $30 million dollars a game.
PROOF MEET PUDDING
We know that you have been to the playoffs X times since 2006 and all we have been getting up here is our collective asses handed to us. We know we aren’t even close to you in the standings.
We know that the cumulative 5 year record of our respective teams is:
We know all sorts of facts.
Having said all of that:
WE WOULD RATHER BE US THAN YOU
That’s right. The Oilers are coming out of an extended dark age and yours are only beginning now. And you know it too – don’t even pretend you can’t see four or five years of basement dwelling on the horizon ahead of you. Look how old you are! And the no trade clauses! Tsk tsk tsk. It boggles the mind!
Had any UFA or RFA of note chosen the Edmonton Oilers in the past 10 years we might be in a similar pickle. But guess what. They didn’t. And the garbage that we were able to sign are almost all off the books. Then you know what happens? That’s when the winning starts.
Now sure that might be tomorrow and not today. We know that you are surging ETC ETC ETC and hope to put a playoff berth firmly in your sights tonight. And we know that this ain’t exactly the best Oilers squadron of the past 3
There are many areas the Oilers can whip the Calgary Flames at and this includes:
SEXIER BRASS
Sutter v Renney? Are we kidding here? Not to mention that the corpse of Tambellini could be left in the sun for a week and be more attractive in a bathing suit than Jay Feaster. No no, this isn't even a contest between the two franchises.
MORE RYANS
Compare the rosters
MORE SQUEEE
Something something
MORE NUGE
Something something
AND SO
In closing here are some more incendiary quotes from OilersNation via twitter:
@bcherri01 This one is for first dibs on tee times #battleofalberta
@JSBMrevolution Time to show the world who the REAL best cousin kissers are #Wait #battleofalberta
@MyqWilson “Who wins BOA? Jay Feaster asks for the question to be rephrased in the form of a cheeseburger*
You are the worst monsters in human history. We look forward to watching you miss the playoffs.
Signed,
A team out of the playoffs for XX consecutive months
PS Even at the end of the article we would STILL rather be us than you.
@Archaeologuy
So... If 9th is forsaken by gods, what is 14th? I s'pose that's what you call blessed in Shelbyville.
@Archaeologuy
That makes sense in a slowest-bike-race sort of a way. Those scum-sucking Oilers are so fortunate, I wish the Flames lost consistently like your team does. :(
I suppose if your from Calgary you would argue until blue in the face the 16 would be better because it shows better performance in the regular season. And that view reflects management as well never willing to fully commit to one side or the other and always ending in the middle. Also our GM sounds like an idoit when he talks so he keeps his mouth shut as much as possible but Feaster sounds like an idoit but thinks hes the best politician in the world and keeps running his mouth. I supposed that the similarities between Calgary and Toronto.
Depends, how many Sven's can you draft at 18th overall?
Keep handing middling veterans too much money, and no-movement clauses.
Glad Jaybo is working out for you guys
The only way Feaster (ha ha FEASTer)* would find a clue, was if it was wrapped in bacon.
* In "Flame Fan-like" manner laughs at own childish humour.
@Dman09
"If Calgary was so great how come they don't have a mall that anyone has heard of?"
You're racking your brain for reasons why Edmonton is better and you came up with a mall?
Oh dear.
Lol- K you one upped me , i love that comment-still laughing.
You should be careful about the 'girls' comments, all of CGY's street walkers come from Edmonton. They want to be paid in cash not cigarettes and booze (they'll go buy those on their own thank you). Besides, they're probably your sisters and cousins so, you know... gross!
All in all i hope for one hell of a BOA tonight. Flames will be timid and wont subject themselves to stupid penalties as this game means too much to them. Hordichuk may just take a few unsportsmanlike breaks tonight. There is no such thing as sportsman like in the BOA.
Lets play one to remember Oil and Flamers
@Jeff Lebowski
"You go to our bars and see all the hot chicks and buy them drinks. It goes nowhere, you run out of money and go back home to screw your fat, ugly broads (who happen to be your first cousins)."
The last time I was in Calgary was at your cousin bar* on the south side after the Oil lost 3-0 in December. You should edit your comment because there was plenty'o'fatties** there that night and not many "hot chicks" as you have claimed there should be****.
*don't remember the name of the bar as I was to wasted due to an afternoon of boobies, booze and camaraderie***
**copyright by me
***proof of how awful the girls were in that bar in Cowgary
****As an FYI, there was a severe lack of "hot chicks" at the hockey game as well and the ones that were there came with scarf wearing, American Psycho looking, donkey wannabees trying to pass themselves off as hockey fans with their crisp looking Glencross jerseys*****
*****He's as big a jackass as I have ever seen
Edit: I almost forgot, eat shit flames
You're right, how can I compare Sven with your "young Oilers." Sven is developing in the juniors with a nice taste in the NHL while you have to rely on your guys lifting your pathetic franchise on their backs. Still...29th!!!!
Delusional is someone who believes potential to be reality. Until your young players actually show something & start winning, they are still just players with "potential" & nothing more.
Spout all you want about strong foundations. If you build a crappy frame around it and never properly develope the parts around it, that potential becomes a waste. And don't give me the crap about dumping contract and we'll start getting better. You've had 5 years to get good players. All your young stars are learning right now is how to lose.
Boasting about West Ed Mall would get a hundred times more recognition then boasting about the Flamers easily.
Do you watch hockey??? JBo is over-paid, yes. So is Horcoff. Difference is JBo is a legit top pairing D. Horcoff is a 3rd liner at best.
And what are Iggy and Kipper learning? That no matter how hard they try, their management will still mess it up and put together a 9th place team...at best? That's if old dogs can even learn new tricks anyways! Seriously, how many old players that were discarded by this franchise have been brought back...if at first you don't succeed, keep banging your head against the wall.
Eat Sh!t
The only reason Sven got the call up was becuase the Flamers didn't have anyone on the minor team to call up. What does that say for the future.
@mayorpoop
"The people of Shelbyville are not much smarter or less quick to anger than the people of Springfield. On some occasions, Shelbyville has been shown as the more culturally sophisticated of the two cities with a better public school system and hospital, demonstrated by Abe Simpson saying 'I'm going to a better place. Shelbyville hospital!' - from the Simpson's wiki page."
Please view this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFBDn5PiL00
Both teams could potentially have two 30 goal scorers
Yours are 400 yrs old, ours aren't even 23 yet. We have 15 years of career to watch these guys light up your redneck asses.
Its a shame to see the Oilers 29th, and the Flames winning all those cups...........???
Oh right, they've missed as many playoffs as we have since we drafted 1st overall twice.
good call. i've found there to be a large number of ralphs here today.
This is the only way to get that 9th place finish (and 14th pick - worst place available) that the GODS have in store for you. Teams like LA and SJ are pushing you.
This is rich. I can't resist. Edmonton's claim to fame is that they have a mall?! You're that stupid that you don't understand that's why your city sucks?
Speaking of your mall, it really is indicative of the sh&$ hole you call home. Fantasyland.
You see, in Fantasyland you ignore the present reality. You either live in the past or some make believe future. Go nuts with that. After you've finished going down the waterslide for the 1000th time because it just so awesome you might realize you're showing off your man boobs in a mall.
Edmontonians are just idiots. I almost feel bad destroying your "come backs".
Oh! the banter!
And what does Calgary have to be proud of ?
Don't you mean Ovary????????
Right in the baby maker.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nope right in the Vagina!!
@mayorpoop
Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject, so you know you are getting the best possible information - Michael Scott
Hey man we aren`t the ones who parade farm animals through our city so I would think its more likely you will be eating sh*t
That we're better than you in every way possible. And we always will be. And you know it.
No, if you had a brain you would see I wrote everything. To be succinct I thought I wouldn't list, you know, everything.
Is that what the last 5 years have been for you? If at first you don't draft the saviour, fail again and draft another "potential" saviour.
I honestly thought the banter coming from Oilers fans today would have a lot more originality, but then again it's pretty common to over-estimate anything that comes out of Edmonton.
Maybe you guys are just too fixated on Nuge getting the titty twister from Horcoff's sister.
Good participation today from both nations, hopefully it carries over to the live chat!
Wonder how Smytty will feel after the game when he is punched, hacked and have his ass knocked all around the rink.. and then realize he's still treated worse by the Oilers!
The only reason Sven was called up is because we already were playing with 7 of our AHLers and couldn't keep depleting our minor team... and we are still winning! What does that say about our future???!!!
@Dman09
Haha,
Well for one, I don't live in Calgary, but I understand that is a hard concept for you to understand, so I'll respond with this, the parade in Edmonton still parades farm animals up and down the streets, just like every parade. If that's still too complicated. I'll just say this...
Oilers Fans... EAT METH!
You should all understand that.
Is that supposed to be worse than trading away an old guys and then bringing them back again and again....... Reger will be aquired in the summer according to the Flamers trend.
@The Soup Fascist
Soupy, please stop I can't laugh anymore I'm starting to hurt........................................I'm OK again. Please continue.
Hmmmm, the bitterness is strong up north for this game. Envy for Calgary from Edmonton is literally glowing like the green Northern Lights.
This fan base is obviously on its last year for patience. I can't wait till they figure out they actually need some D and a decent average G before they can call themselves a hockey team.
Mass revolts scheduled for Dec 2012 when the Oilers own the same bottom 5 stature in the West as they do this year.
P.S. Sven is seriously better than Hall...
Its says that your current team is old and can't stay healthy...
Hockey in March, remember when it mattered Edmonton?
The Calgary Flames are a professional ice hockey team based in Calgary, Alberta, Canada - wiki search for Calgary Flames.
i get it. wiki is full of lies and crap. i mean honestly here they say the Flames are a "professional ice hockey team". such a loose definition of professional should not be tolerated.
#eatsh!tflames
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! What does that say about the Nuge than? He's not old, so is it that he is a weak little pansy that he can't stay healthy? How many games the last two years have Hall and Hopkins missed?? K guess they are both too weak and pathetic to stay health.
1988 Olympics ring a bell...
Congrats on being the capital..woo hoo!!
Malls, Capitals... yeahhhh. Oh and in case your uneducated mind wasn't aware, Calgary has a University as well.
Such a weak reply.
If Calgary isn't professional, but are better at being "unprofessional" than Edmonton does that mean edmonton sucks at both professional and unprofessional ice hockey?
How's Ryan Smyth doing....?
Yea, good to see that Hemsky played more than 12 games this season. Good 10 million investment there.
@Oilcruzer
You just insult your own star player, nice work!
Nuge has played less games and still has put up more points than all but 4 players on the Flames in his Rookie year. What does that tell you. And this coming from team that can only expect 60 games out of a couple vets in Cammalleri and Tanguay yearly.
hello pot is that you?
@Dman09
Still doesn't address the fact that your 20 year olds can't stay healthy, they will all be crippled and retired by 28 at this rate.
So that "great" foundation that your building looks great on the outside, except it was put together with Bondo and duct tape!
@Dman09
Double Post!
@The Soup Fascist
The scum-sucking Oilers fans remind me of the French taunters from the same film. "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"
@mayorpoop
Better than Meth, any day of the week :)