14 AND 93 AIN'T NOTHIN TO FU*K WITH

Wanye
June 20 2012 09:34PM

 

Despite the fact that Jordan Eberle and Ryan Nugent-Hopkins were defeated tonight in their bids for glory at the NHL awards we must put this in perspective. The two wonder studs are no joke - and most teams in the league would trade away most of everything for either of them.

To have BOTH players in the lineup is an embarassment of riches that will be discussed in hushed and reverent tones by panels of talking heads for a long, long time.

Believe that.

These fellas - with a combined age of 40 years you haters out there - are but beginning in careers that will ultimately be as productive as any Oiler circa 1990-2012. And who knows, they may start chipping away at some of the records the old fellas have collected in the all so distant 80s too.

It is easy to get caught up in the perpetual woes of Steve Tambellini and Co and the hilarious back end and goaltending debates that occupy so much of our time these days. But we must never forget what these two bring to the table and remember that no level of buffoonery in the Front Office can really impact what these two are going to do in the coming decade.

Like seriously, what are these two worried about on the horizon exactly? Diamond shoes fitting too snuggly as they lumber aboard their private jets? Exhorbitant long distance bills as the womens from all over hells half acre call them morning noon and night seeking amourous conversation?

Having to graft on extra fingers 11 seasons from now so they can wear all of their Edmonton Oilers Stanley Cup rings at once?

Please.

We won't go so far as to lob the cliche "YOU SUCK BRIAN CAMPBELL" and/or a quick "GABRIEL LANDESKOG IS FOR THE BIRDS!" No, the Nuge can't be exposed to such negativity at such a young age. He needs to be lured back into his home gym with little Nuge sized weights and left in complete silence and positivity for the remainder of the summer.

Eberle needs to go back to bench pressing Volkswagen Jettas and eating glass in preparation for next year. If he wants to have two -  no wait THREE - beers this summer to cool off he has our official permission now that the strain of the awards season is behind him.

And we will say that the NHL Awards may want to reserve the front row of the arena for Mr. Eberle and Master NUUUUUUUGE for the coming decade.

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 D'oh-ilers
June 20 2012, 09:47PM
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Both had great years. Can't really argue with Campbell winning the Lady Byng though. 1st in the league in minutes played (2,205:31) and only 6PIM. I don't even know how that's possible. He must wrap his pads in bubble wrap and keep a distance of at least 20 feet between himself and any other player on the ice.

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#2 majin_oil
June 20 2012, 09:52PM
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No, you can say it Wanye. "You freaken suck Brian Campbell", its not Like Eberle had 30 more goals than you or anything!

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#3 Quicksilver ballet
June 20 2012, 09:53PM
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What a pair of Mary's. Perhaps a bar room brawl is in order so they can get their man cards back.

There's only one trophy that matters in this town.

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#4 freeze
June 20 2012, 09:57PM
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If there has to be a bright side, at least Ebs won't have the win as a contract negotiation bullet.

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#5 Robin Brownlee
June 20 2012, 10:27PM
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"Eberle is drunk in that first photo. And Hopkins can't drive a stick. Disgusting."

This pr!ck persona bit you trot out here 24-7 no matter what the topic: send up or the real you? What's the end game?

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#6 Robin Brownlee
June 21 2012, 12:24AM
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"Good luck Robin, many of us have tried, all have failed.

He has his own agenda and ignores anything he doesn't seem as relevant to his own theory's."

Luck has nothing to do with it and I don't have to, or care to, try anything with whoever this is. I just don't get it.

I asked the question because I can't for the life of me figure out how anybody gets a kick out of being contrary and confrontational day in and day out on a hockey website no matter what the topic. It's easy to pick out the few who seem to relish being considered a dick by looking through the archives and comments.

Debate and disagreement is fine, but I just don't understand the few who get off on trying to get a reaction, be it from other posters or writers, here on an ongoing basis. Same approach -- comments dripping with disdain, ridicule and contempt for other posters and writers -- no matter what. That's not debate.

What makes people like that tick? Do they have nothing better to do? Are they even here for discussion about hockey and the Oilers?

Like I said, what's the end game?

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#7 David S
June 21 2012, 12:25AM
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DSF wrote:

Eberle is drunk in that first photo. And Hopkins can't drive a stick.

Disgusting.

And your point is?????

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#9 Wax Man Riley
June 21 2012, 01:10AM
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Ummmmmm..... did this place just get really awkward?

*looks around. looks to the sky. whistles, and walks away*

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#10 @Oilanderp
June 21 2012, 01:22AM
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Wow look at the time! I gotta go... there's a ...thing ... over at the... the ahh ... you know

*runs away*

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#11 Mike
June 21 2012, 02:27AM
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Any chance we can get an ip ban for Captain Dumbass?

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#12 John Chambers
June 21 2012, 06:14AM
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With the addition of Yakupov and his harem of screaming girls, isn't the next logical step for the fab four obvious? BOY BAND!

Squuuuueeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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#13 sizedoesmatter
June 21 2012, 06:28AM
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CBC is terrable at producing any kind of live show.that was painfull to watch.

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#14 Oilers G- Nations Poet Laureate
June 21 2012, 06:29AM
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NUUUUUGE gets screwed over

Eberle gets shafted too

Why hockey gods, Why?

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#15 Victor
June 21 2012, 06:31AM
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Is having these two players really "an embarrassment of riches?" This team is going to need that plus a whole lot more if it ever wants to win a Cup again.

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#16 OutDoorRink
June 21 2012, 07:00AM
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Hey Victor. I think it's part an parcel of what we've collected from the draft in the last 3 years. Add up all the top end talent up that we've accumulated, and it is indeed an embarrassment of riches. One that we'll gladly accept.

Add Yak this year and that's three first over all picks playing together on one team. If that isn't riches, I don't know what is.

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#17 The Soup Fascist
June 21 2012, 07:29AM
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Without (hopefully) sounding too much like a stalker the top picture indicates that either Eberle is very short or Nuge is relatively tall. While he at this point he looks skinny enough that he has to run around in a rainstorm to get wet (bordering on creepy again, sorry), if he can put 10 to 15 pounds over the next year or two, I don't exactly see him as this diminutive center when he is Ebs age.

If he plays at 6'1 and 185 to 190 with his level of compete, are we making a little too much about the size down the middle thing? If we develop or find a 215 pound gritty #3 center once Horc's contract is done -when hopefully we are very competitive - would size down the middle be such an issue even with Gagner at #2?

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#18 Henry
June 21 2012, 07:54AM
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The outfits are sharp, but I'm not sure about the footies. These boys are still growing and will have to get new ones next year. Just not economical.

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#19 geoilersgist
June 21 2012, 08:54AM
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these are by far my favourite articles to read. NEED MORE WANYE

Eberle has Superman hair in that first photo.... I believe it is a sign

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#20 rickithebear
June 21 2012, 09:19AM
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Post lockout:

Looked at the history of player playing against first line competition.

then broke them up into Zone starts groups looked at the average -less 40% offensive zone 0.90EVP/60 - 40% to 45% 1.10EvP/60 - 45 to 50% 1.3EVP/60 - 50 to 55% 1.7EVP/60 - 55 to 60% 2.25EVP/60 - greater than 60% 2.5-2.7EVP/60 300% diffrence by zonestart.

Shawn Horcoff situation the last three years was the second group.he should have benn getting 1.1EVP/60 to be the league average. He was 1.3EVP/60 for the last three years. in his situation Horcoff was better than the league average. What is interesting, the average for ufa contracts for this group was 4.5M.

Because Horcoff faced the toughs. RNH, Eberle, Hall got to face lower seconds/upper thirds.

RNH and Eberle were greater than 60% 2.38 Eberle 3.08 third best rate Crosby 4.73; malkin 3.66 3.08-2.38 +.70 is 13G better than average.

RNH 1.98EVP/60 1.98-2.38 = -.40 is 7G below average for the situation. what do you expect for a 18 year old. he was 5 years away from finishing core strength growth. By the end of the season he was amazing in Pocession and retrieval.

Hall was 55-60% 2.15 2.07-2.15 = -0.08 1G short of the average.

What i see is Hall and eberle are ready to face lower 1st/2nd/upper third competition in an even zone start 50%.

we need to bring in Yakupov/rieder to slot on the wing with RNH and continue to give them 2nd/3rd line Comp with a 55 to 60% zone start.

A line of gagner and hemsky sharing the lower 1st/2nd/upper 3rd comp in a 50% zone start. Gagner took on 3rd with 50-55% 1.65 EVP/60 gagner 1.96 - 1.65 = =0.31 6 Goals better than average. shows he is ready to step up to 2nd comp role.

Hemsky was lower first and upper 2nd @ 50% 1.90EVP/60 Hemsky 1.57 - 1.90 = -0.33 6 goals below Moving hemsky to the soft comp and zone role gets him the 35-40 even point player range. he likely becomes a 60 point player in the softer role.

Now Landeskog: played in a 2.15EVP/60 situation 1.74 - 2.15 = -0.41 7Goals below average.

the rookie race was a wash.

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#21 smiliegirl15
June 21 2012, 09:27AM
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Holy cow is the Nuge bow-legged! I think he deserved to win the Calder.

The Oilers will SIUTBOTC when they start winning cups!

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#22 madjam
June 21 2012, 10:01AM
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Finishing 29th , and not having Hall to help bolster their stats for many games , may have cost both our boys . Hopkins own injury also cost him . Maybe this years Oiler rookie might have a better fate ?

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#23 Simpsonite
June 21 2012, 10:08AM
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Nuge, on the roof of his condo lifting weights in the rain, over looking the city as the vegeance vibe rises within. The rage of the loss rising.

Hall's robo shoulder connects.

Eberle decides to forgo niceties and begins to prep in a boxing ring...

The Oil may not have a goalie or d but who cares when the other team can't touch the puck...

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#24 Talbot17
June 21 2012, 10:50AM
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seeing nuge lose wasn't shocking, but seeing him lose in a landslide was.

He'll put up 80+ points this year while Landeskog gets injured. Sophmore years!

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#25 Honest Hansel
June 21 2012, 11:33AM
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The hearts and arrows are cute but really....why are they pointed where there pointed?

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#28 Mike Modano's Dog
June 22 2012, 04:26AM
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Heard an interview with the Nuge recently. He said is already up to 180, and hopes to put on an extra 5 before the summer's up. This is awesome news... he was solid last year at 170, and if you don't believe it just ask Brendan Morrow!

Then again, if the CBA goes as long as I think it might he may have to drop weight before camp begins.~

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