SCHULTZ CHOOSES OILERZ

Wanye
June 30 2012 03:04PM

It's summer time in the OilersNation and we only know how to do that one way.

Big.

Worldwide Twitter traffic experienced a 0.0000035% bump this afternoon as Oilers fans from all over the world fretted and speculated about a 21 year old D man who has yet to play a single game in the NHL.

That don't matter no way no how - not when the overall pride and self worth of a City was on the line as a Free Agent did the unthinkable and picked the Capital city of Alberta over all other destinations.

Now the 2011-12 winner of both the Spike Carlson MVP trophy and the Dr. Joseph Coyne Most Consistent player is ours, all ours. Now we just need to figure out who the hell he is and why we are all so excited.

POP QUIZ

As the biggest Justin Schultz fan in the entire world* we feel completely qualified to administer this test.

Which player among the Wisconsin Badgers shown above is our new collective hero?

Bit of an easy question if Mark Zengerle is your tight buddy or you have played backyard baseball with Joel Rumpel many a time but a head scratcher for the rest of us to be sure. Can you even pick him out of a lineup? It's pretty hard all people living in Wisconsin look alike to us. But we do have a feeling that by Christmas we will all know who we are dealing with here.

Does this guy make the team right out of the gate? Who does he boot off the Oilers d-corps? Will the Nuge be confused by yet another new face in the dressing room?

The questions positively pour out of our brain through the keys on the board at the moment.

PROPS TO BIG GENE

Big ups to the nicest guy in the world for breaking the news of Schultz signing with the Oilers on twitter. In what was most certainly a 15 million way gunfight among the MSM Principe was the first on our feed to get it down on electronic paper:

Atta boy Gene!

HOW ABOUT THIS GUY?

 

Rumours abound that 99 called up the newest Oiler and made a pitch for him to join the team. You know if the Oilers are determined to throw bags of cash at Senior Management types, perhaps they could convince the Great One to work in some sort of capacity for any sum of money he can name?

When the Great One calls up a potential Oiler player and so much as breathes into the phone it adds a level of credibility to the pitch that is unrivaled. Though incalculably rich, this guy is currently without NHL affiliation. Kay-Z should try and remedy this.

AND SO

Welcome to Edmonton Justin Schultz. We have no idea really who you are or why we are all so excited but if you fall even a single centimetre short of our huge vague expectations for you expect a shipment of w-r-a-t-h to be delivered in bulk to your door.

*As of about 1 hour and 15 minutes ago

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 Stocc
June 30 2012, 03:07PM
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So. Freaking. Stoked.

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#2 Voltron
June 30 2012, 03:07PM
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WOOOOOO!!!

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#3 oilersplumber
June 30 2012, 03:15PM
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...........expect this headline in the paper on Tuesday......

"LEAFS, CANUCKS AND FLAMES FAN SUICIDE ATTEMPTS UP 90% OVER THE HOLIDAY WEEKEND"

-Toronto, Vancouver and Calgary city administrators to address sudden rise in suicide attempts from basement windows......

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#4 Jordan Nugent-Hallkins
June 30 2012, 03:16PM
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Let me be the first to SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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#5 MAC962
June 30 2012, 03:16PM
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All i can say is THANKS Wayne Gretzky and Paul Coffey Someone please get this message to those two. I assure you , their words made a huge difference..

Thanks again 99 AND 7.

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#6 Gerald R. Ford
June 30 2012, 03:17PM
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Gretzky-> Coffey-> Back of net

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#7 vetinari
June 30 2012, 03:19PM
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How many Schutz's can we have on the roster under the new CBA?

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#8 Professor Q
June 30 2012, 03:22PM
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@vetinari

About the same as the number of Ryan's

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#9 Spydyr
June 30 2012, 03:22PM
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Beautiful day out beautiful news here...Happy Canada day hosers

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#10 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
June 30 2012, 03:23PM
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Krueger may have had more to do with it than the great one or Mr Coffey. According to James Duthie:

"Those who were in the room say Oilers new coach Ralph Krueger was incredibly impressive in his presentation to Justin Schultz."

I'm sure the whole experience was surreal for this kid.

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#11 RyanCoke
June 30 2012, 03:27PM
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Fail at fist to report this on ON Wanye! Jason beat you to it.

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#13 RyanCoke
June 30 2012, 03:30PM
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Wanye wrote:

I will live with the shame of losing to the King of Edmonton Radio forever.

Lol it coulda just come down to who was the faster typer, you were like 5 min slower

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#14 dessert1111
June 30 2012, 03:31PM
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Let's find this kid and sign him too: http://pihl.stats.pointstreak.com/playerpage.html?playerid=5433119&seasonid=7175

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#15 Ern Beckett
June 30 2012, 03:35PM
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New Senior VP of Recruitment...Mr Gretzky New Senior VP of Smooth Moves....Mr Coffey New Stanley Cup Champion Coach...Mr Krueger

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#17 Wax Man Riley
June 30 2012, 03:43PM
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As a tribute to the 3 - 1st overall picks, and the signing of Justin Schultz..

An oldie from here

....and how can we forget him

A new one for Wanye!

SQUEEEEEEE!!!

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#18 Ryan
June 30 2012, 03:43PM
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Is Steve Tambellini this guy -->>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_6560AW1zQ

When it comes to Shultzes, they're like eyebrows--TWO is always better than ONE.

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#19 dougtheslug
June 30 2012, 03:45PM
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All Tambo and Klowe haters must shut the eff up for a full 24 hours. Starting now.

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#20 Quicksilver ballet
June 30 2012, 03:47PM
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If you were on the bottom when making whoppie in a canoe, are you still considered "Canadian"?

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#21 Christo
June 30 2012, 03:50PM
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Love how Schultz will be making, with bonuses, the same amount as the entire Edmonton Eskimos in his rookie year! Wonder if if Chris Getzlaf ever asks himself..."did I pick the wrong sport?" #Schultz 2012

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#22 Time Travelling Sean
June 30 2012, 03:57PM
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Is this what winning feels like?

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#23 Archaeologuy
June 30 2012, 04:00PM
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WHY AM I YELLING SO MUCH RIGHT NOW????

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#24 Oilcruzer
June 30 2012, 04:06PM
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Cool. If only cuz it ticks off Vancouver and Toronto.

Gnite from Germany...

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#26 majin_oil
June 30 2012, 04:09PM
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HA! Its like getting Ryan Murray already 2 years developed with a greater offensive upside for NOTHING!!!

Freaken awesome!

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#27 Jordan Nugent-Hallkins
June 30 2012, 04:17PM
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Someone in a previous article said it well: it's like having the first two picks in the draft, getting Schultz and the Yak.

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#28 Gerald R. Ford
June 30 2012, 04:17PM
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http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/824/schultz.jpg/

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#29 Smokey
June 30 2012, 04:22PM
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I think a guy like Wayne Gretzky has immence value to any organization. I've always thought that when you have a free agent u want to target, you get Wayner to do the talking. There ain't a guy in the NHL who does not take a call from the Great One.

Once a again thanks to Wayne for the memories and giving back to the Oiler faithful. We will always love you

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#30 Jordan Nugent-Hallkins
June 30 2012, 04:22PM
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Check out the comments in the NHL.com article. All the butt-frustrated fans of 25 other teams dismissing the best prospect in college hockey as a locker-room cancer before he's played a single shift in the Show.

Damn that feels good to read.

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#31 DieHard
June 30 2012, 04:25PM
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The Edmonton Oilers have another NHL record that will be extremely hard to beat. Almost 15M in cap hit with only 4 players on their ELC's.

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#34 Dog Train
June 30 2012, 04:38PM
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I love how rattled the fans of other teams right now. Listening to Schultz' initial comments about how he wants to earn his ice time is really promising as well. For one day, fans of other teams are actually jealous of our beloved Edmonton Oilers. I love it.

The work is not done Tambo. We still need another Dman or two as well as some sandpaper up front and feel free to add some depth in goal.

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#35 Professor Q
June 30 2012, 04:40PM
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@Dog Train

Especially when he says that Edmonton was always his childhood favourite team. Take that Knuckleheads.

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#36 Wax Man Riley
June 30 2012, 04:41PM
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Do you feel that? The veil lifted in E-Town....

The wait is over. We are a destination again.

F-you, Pronger. F-you.

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#37 Smokey
June 30 2012, 04:43PM
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Dougtheslug,

Where was Tambo in TO. Nowhere. I got no issue with Klowe.

When I hear Tambo gave a great oratory on the Oilers that swayed Schultz, I will tape my mouth shut.

If Tambo scores a couple good free agents, I will give him some love. If Tambo scores Ryan Suter, I will kiss the mans ass.

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#38 Smokey
June 30 2012, 04:45PM
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Why is there no freaking radio show. This reminds me of Peca, Pronger day, and we got no airways.

Heck when the fired Machocia, they were on the airways, and this is a big fricking day.

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#39 John Chambers
June 30 2012, 04:50PM
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@Dog Train

One more top-4 Dman, and a depth forward and it will be hard to not consider this a team capable of making the playoffs.

We pretty much just added the two best players not already in the NHL. I have a hunch that we make a big acquisition tomorrow. Hell of a week for the Oil.

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#40 Max Powers - Team HME Evans
June 30 2012, 04:51PM
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@Wax Man Riley

Lol. That's exactly what I'm thinking. I sure hope the curse of the rake has been lifted.

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#41 Bobothebutler
June 30 2012, 05:06PM
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Methinks it's time for another photoshop contest *Devilish Grin* Happy Canada Day Weekend Boys!

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#42 dougtheslug
June 30 2012, 05:25PM
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Smokey wrote:

Dougtheslug,

Where was Tambo in TO. Nowhere. I got no issue with Klowe.

When I hear Tambo gave a great oratory on the Oilers that swayed Schultz, I will tape my mouth shut.

If Tambo scores a couple good free agents, I will give him some love. If Tambo scores Ryan Suter, I will kiss the mans ass.

Couldn't last another 23 hours. Oh well.......

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#43 oilers2k12
June 30 2012, 05:29PM
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I agree with Smokey, where's edmonton sports radio when we need it? For those who are saying "hes a rookie, calm the #!u+ down! He might be the next matt gilroy!" I say..he played on the same team as Gardiner with and without him and put up better numbers, how can u not expect his game to translate to the NHL atleast as good? Even if he only maxes out as a 5th dman with PP quarterback capabilities on the second unit its a win for the oilers..great job tambo and oil management!

Now please dont sign Suter to ten years 80 mill, he aint that good..Suter at 5.5 per ok..6 maybe but now we need a badass that plays smart yet a lil reckless on the blueline, I dont think Suter is one..(a badass that is)

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#44 oilers2k12
June 30 2012, 05:52PM
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Also would like to add, I think oilers should do some kind of a conditional trade with the ducks..kinda as a thank you, or maybe they would take the offer as a slap in the face? Either way sux for the ducks(as it did for us when pronger left)...

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#45 justDOit
June 30 2012, 06:09PM
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This could be almost like winning the lottery for a SECOND time this year. Unbelievable. The Oilers could have two Calder nominees next season (but still won't win it!).

So Yak and Schultz are pretty much guaranteed roster spots. I'm more than comfortable with forfeiting some improvement in the standings this season to watch this team with two more first rounders on it. Will the Oiler faithful feel the same way? Or do you think that they can accomplish a significant improvement and ice a younger roster?

And if it's going to be one more year of a significant youth (and talent) infusion, do we include Klefbom on the roster as well? Looks like he has the skills, at least.

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#46 Dan the Man
June 30 2012, 06:14PM
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Even guys from BC don't like the Canucks.

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#47 justDOit
June 30 2012, 06:15PM
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Smokey wrote:

I think a guy like Wayne Gretzky has immence value to any organization. I've always thought that when you have a free agent u want to target, you get Wayner to do the talking. There ain't a guy in the NHL who does not take a call from the Great One.

Once a again thanks to Wayne for the memories and giving back to the Oiler faithful. We will always love you

I would love to see Gretz hired for a new position of 'President of Hockey'. Not pro scouting, am scouting, player acquisition, player development - just PoH! He could be doing anything from phoning UFAs to selecting a 100% cotton uniform for the team...

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#48 Jordan Nugent-Hallkins
June 30 2012, 06:26PM
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@justDOit

I would props you more if I could

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#49 goalie dad
June 30 2012, 06:27PM
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Quicksilver ballet wrote:

If you were on the bottom when making whoppie in a canoe, are you still considered "Canadian"?

It doesn't matter. It is still just like colors light. Both are f*cling near water.

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#50 justDOit
June 30 2012, 06:28PM
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@Jordan Nugent-Hallkins

don't worry bout it - I just props myself.

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