Cheer Up Sven!

bookofloob
January 25 2013 04:16PM

Hi Sven, you seem sad? Are you sad?

I mean sure, there's this:

 

Which isn't cool seeing as apparently this was going to happen:

 

 

And that's gotta sting. And maybe you're also bummed that you might be going to Abbotsford soon, but Sven, you've got a lot to smile about, and I want to tell you all about it, so take a knee and listen up, okay?

1. You're Awesome

First of all, your name is Sven, and that's cool, because the only other Sven I can think of off the top of my  head to play in the NHL was Sven Butenschoen, which we can all agree is one of the greatest names in NHL history, so you're in elite company there.

But here are some more truth bombs for you, Svendel (which I assume is your formal name).

You're 20 years old. That's freakin' young, my man. So yeah, maybe certain things haven't blossomed the way you expected them to, here in your rookie season, shortened by lockout. Time is on your side! We kinda expect you to someday be our Swiss Saviour, way down the road, when there's a core of guys built around you who can compliment your style and all these incredible things that you do. But for now, you can chill out, practice, maybe find yourself a nice lady friend to spend time with while you lay low and let this thing unfold. you're the man, Sven, we just don't need you to be him just yet.

Also hey, if you're not playing tonight, just think about the extra time you get to spend with your family! Bring them to the press box, show them around the Saddledome. If you're looking for spots around the city you'd like to show them (while cherishing your precious time together here on this ever close to expiring planet), I can give you my number, and you can text me and see where I'm at. Pretty good deal, I think.
 

Everything is coming up Millhouse for you, Sven. The city loves you, management is gaga about who you might become, and have you seen Johnny Gaudreau? The future is shining too bright for you to be focusing on one cloud.

2. Abby Ain't So Bad

Sven, you're going back (probably) to just a dandy little town with a roaring economy, with booming agricultural and methamphetamine industries powering the community financially.

And you know it well. You've already racked up 18 points in 21 games with the Heat, flying under the radar of everyone except for the few hundred or so who show up at the Abbotsford Entertainment and Sports Center to watch you play.

You make it look so easy down there, Sven, and you'll continue to get a chance to hone your skills until we all need you back here in Calgary.

Plus you get to hang out with Barry Brust, and we're all super jealous about that, because that guy rules! Tell him we say hi!

Nor do you have to worry about playing on a line with Matt Stajan or Steve Begin on the third or fourth line. you don't need that Sven, you're better than that. Roman Horak and yourself are just going to light it up down there and maybe even become best friends!

3. This Season Doesn't Really Count Anyway

You know what the Calgary Flames were doing while you were getting your jam on in Abbotsford, playing your heart out, getting concussions, all that hard work? Where were they?

They were public skating, Sven.

This season is a write off. no one takes any part of this season seriously. Whoever wins the Stanley Cup will have an asterisk next to their name because winning it all in a lockout shortened season is a big ol' fluke, they'll say, and people will believe it forever and ever and ever.

Any shot at glory is immediately invalid. You're so great Sven, you were probably going to win Rookie of the Year. Oh boy, would that Calder Trophy ever look nice on your resume. You could take pictures of yourself with it, send it back home to your parents, and to that girl in your class that one time who laughed at you when you asked her to dance (what was her problem anyway?), and you know what? People would laugh, because it doesn't count. It's like when Ray Bourque told everyone he won the Calder, and they were all like "Yeah shut up, Raymond, it's only because Gretzky couldn't! You're never going to win anything, so go home forever".

People are so mean.

But that's what they would have done to you Sven. It's not fair, but that's how this goes. The only thing that matters this year is what players are acquired moving forward in the future that are going to get the fortunate opportunity to play on a line with you, hombre. That's what it's all about.

Smile, Sunshine!

The news today is just minor setbacks in the Sven Baertschi Superstar Awesome Plan. It's in full motion, it's just not a straight path.

In the end, you're better for it, pal. "You don't develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity" Epicurus said that, Sven, and I'm pretty sure he was referring to you at the time, so that's high praise.

You sit back and let the Flames do what they gotta do. It's all for you anyway, don't spoil the surprise for them. Your time is coming, you just gotta do your thing in the meantime, and don't let the bastards get you down. In the immortal words of like RoboCop or something, "Don't curse the darkness, motherf#&*!r, light a candle!"

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The Book of Loob is the Nation's resident expert in flim-flammery and twaddle. An unabashed Flames fan, when BoL is not intellectually bankrupting Flames Nation, he can be seen rooting for Blair Jones, often to excess, at Book of Loob. Follow him on twitter here.
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#1 AnOceanPearl
January 25 2013, 04:29PM
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The fact that the MSPaint picture of Iginla riding the horse wasn't part of this post really disappoints me.

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#2 FireOnIce
January 25 2013, 04:39PM
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Damnit, I was hoping to see Baertschi play tomorrow night. Now all I'll get is a hideous loss with Hudler and Cervenka manning the helm.

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#3 Michael
January 25 2013, 04:50PM
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Sven, it's nothing but poor management.

They raise your expectations and tell you that you've made the starting lineup, but don't actually have a regular spot for you. Either Feaster was counting on some injuries, or, simply has trouble counting. I'll bet on the trouble counting, he has signed far to many wingers and not enough true centers. Feaster, believe it or not, centers and wingers are not the same. They atually have different roles on the club, and are not simply interchangeable pieces on a white board.

Sven, don't let the management bother you. It might not happen in my lifetime, but sooner or later real change is going to come to the front office. The new management will have to stop playing an 80 year old Iggy in favour of some younger guys. You may be 50, but that lineup spot will finally be yours.

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#4 Clay
January 25 2013, 05:31PM
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Regardless of whether this is the right thing or not, I hope the team takes this in the face PR wise.

Maybe a Sven chant at the game. They need to realize that the fan following this year is not to see the Flames make the playoffs.

We need several black eyes showing nothing has changed. Brutal in the shootout, inability to string wins together, poor spot in the standings, and absolutely no injuries to new acquisitions or old guns. We need to lose, and lose square.

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#5 Kent Wilson
January 25 2013, 05:57PM
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Related, the Heat are winning tonight so far. Brett Carson has his third goal in three game s(what?) and Greg Nemisz has his second point of the season!

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#6 Kent Wilson
January 25 2013, 05:58PM
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@AnOceanPearl

Ask and you shall receive.

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#7 ChinookArch
January 25 2013, 06:34PM
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@ BoL

"Sven, you're going back (probably) to just a dandy little town with a roaring economy, with booming agricultural and methamphetamine industries powering the community financially."

Your forgot the best part of Abby, it smells like Chicken 365 days of the year. How cool is that?

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#8 T&A4Flames
January 25 2013, 07:25PM
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Kent Wilson wrote:

Related, the Heat are winning tonight so far. Brett Carson has his third goal in three game s(what?) and Greg Nemisz has his second point of the season!

Nemo is on FIRE!!!!!!!!

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#9 Q
January 25 2013, 08:58PM
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If this is true I'm waaaaaaaay pissed off! Come on Hartley, are you kidding me? There's nothing stajan can do to make me like him. He sucks turd! Wow. This is an idiotic decision and not one thats gonna motivate him. Already way dissapointed with many coaching choices so far. Iggy on the shoot out over Sven? I love iggy but he not creative. Not excited about the game now.

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#10 Charleston Kingsley
January 25 2013, 11:32PM
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Sven's first game was solid, his second was lacklustre and his third I thought he was most noticeable on his line. Unfortunately he was stuck with Comeau and Stajan which didn't help.

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#11 Willi P
January 26 2013, 09:08AM
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@ BoL,

Sven is indeed a cool name, but not nearly as cool as Loob!

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#12 Willi P
January 26 2013, 09:13AM
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Q wrote:

If this is true I'm waaaaaaaay pissed off! Come on Hartley, are you kidding me? There's nothing stajan can do to make me like him. He sucks turd! Wow. This is an idiotic decision and not one thats gonna motivate him. Already way dissapointed with many coaching choices so far. Iggy on the shoot out over Sven? I love iggy but he not creative. Not excited about the game now.

I have to (and hate to) admit, Stajan had a good game against the Nux (finally, ONE good game).

There are many others in this line up I would sit before Sven (without naming names again)

Also, the kids family is flying in to see him play, not to see the city (sorry BoL). HNIC BoA with his family watching. Stupidest descision EVER by this team (if it happens). He deserves much better. Way to CRUSH this guys moment Flames.

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#13 Potlicker
January 26 2013, 11:40AM
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Well, I think the rational & reasonable thing is to shelter Sven in the AHL knowing he hasnt learned how to walk on water yet & save the Flames. Absolutely wont hurt him. The right thing to do.

Then talk to someone who pays $$$$ to see these games & ask them why they are so %@#* mad?? Then answer is, because I have seen enough of Matt Stajan's, I have watched our used to be star players like Iggy, Tanguay, Cammaleri, JBO, Gio, Kipper fall short year after year. Been there, done that. I want to see something different for my $$$. This team is not winning the Cup with this lineup & betting they make the playoffs is a bad bet. Sure I still want to see some of these players in the lineup despite their failures. But it wouldnt bother me to move some of these guys to give me something new, something different to hope & cheer for. I want to see some mountains to hopefully climb in the landscape not just prairies. I want to see kids like Backlund & Sven & maybe Cerevenka thrown together & see something totally different as I have become weary of watching the same old veterans & knowing the same old outcome. Thats why I'm so @#*& mad. I want to see decisions made about building something around something new & if some of these Vets can find a way to fit in, well thats OK too.

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#14 Ryan Pike
January 26 2013, 11:41AM
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Baertschi will play tonight, skating on a line with Blake Comeau and Blair Jones.

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#15 Baalzamon
January 26 2013, 11:46AM
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@Ryan Pike

They should sit Cammalleri and put Sven with Backlund and Stempniak. Just saying.

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#16 suba steve
January 26 2013, 11:48AM
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I'm not too concerned about Sven sitting for a game or two this year. However, if his parents are here, it does seem like a low class move by the coaching staff. Sutter did the same to Backlund last year and it wasn't real classy then either.

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#17 RKD
January 26 2013, 12:08PM
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The way he plays, shortly we will be calling him Svengali.

The best thing for him is to play in the AHL and get top 3 minutes. His development will be slowed if he's playing a fourth line checking role. That's what guys like Stajan, Jones, Jackman are for.

He's at the bottom of the pecking order, Hartley's mandate is to win now so any veteran despite how poorly they maybe be playing will get first precedence over Baertschi. Even the fourth line guys.

The timing sucks because his parents are flying in, they could have coordinated that a little bit better. His best bet will be coming up if we hit a rash of injuries.

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