LIKE IT NEVER EVEN HAPPENED

Wanye
January 06 2013 05:04PM

What's that thing called when you break up with someone, both see other people and then decide you are going to get back together and have to pretend like the last 6 months never happened? Yeah. It's time for about 1000cc of that.

BACK FROM THE ICE

We went ice fishing today of all things. This is the level that the 2012-13 Lockout has reduced us all to. Trying to find other things to do while we waited for the stewards of our beloved NHL to wrap up ruining the game we love and charitably decide to get back to making billions and millions of dollars respectively.

While we sat in this little shack waiting for a fish to grace us with its slimy presence we were completely unplugged from twitter, internets, cell phonery and everything to do with communication.

You would have had to send a telegram to the local general store and had the pony express clip clop it out onto the ice to get us any news. In this most remote of locales the NHL lockout ended and we wouldn't know until about 3 PM MST.

The conversation with our fellow temporary fishermen centred on the obvious: the lockout and how we would all respond when it inevitably ended. Some of the boys were understandably frustrated with how long things have dragged on, the complete indifference from both sides to all us fans and swore that they would penalize the NHL one way or other when it finally got it's act together.

We will now write an article version of what we ranted at the top of our lungs. Oh and maybe a Lil Wayne video for some music.

NO LOVE

Often times life can be a grind of day jobs, car repairs, jackass bosses and costly ear medicine bills mounting to the sky. Some of us may even have more serious issues to deal with - money problems, health scares, problems with the wife, dramas of so many sorts. The NHL provides an excellent distraction from all of this and has done so for many many years.

As an elementary school kid we used to shovel most of the neighbourhood's snow to afford season tickets to the Mighty Oil. Undoubtedly the youngest self paid ticket holder in the history of the club, we would go to games with our near totally blind Grandma on the bus and would sit up high in the seats of Rexall Place and cheer on some of the worst clubs in Oilers history.

Grandma Wanye listening with massive headphones on her portable radio and Young Wanye screaming and yelling a non-stop barrage of insults (the 2012 version can be read @wanyegretz) We would then make our way home and listen to the post game show until the angels carried us off to slumber. We missed probably 3 games in 5 years until high school and the prospect of University forced us to save our hard earned dough for other things.

These long seasons of losses piled to the sky in front of a half filled building with our Grandma forged us into an Oiler fan made of steel for all eternity. When we see King Jordan of Eberle super snipe a goal, the Nuge dingle dangle around 12 people or Devan Dubnyk muff an easy save we are brought back to those golden days and often smile thinking about how our now departed Grandma would be beside herself with excitement for this new team.

HERE'S THE THING

Why we are all super hockey fans - and make no mistake the Nation Network is the biggest of its kind on Earth so there are more of us here than anywhere else - has nothing to do with the Gary Bettman's and Donald Fehr's of the world. It has nothing to do with CBAs, economics, HRR or any of the other brown bananas we have been forced to watch and read about these past several months.

Our reasons for loving our particular team, particular players and why many of us will welcome hockey back with open arms is a personal tale and no two are the same. Make no mistake - we could give two shits about either side involved in this amazingly embarassing lockout. Both parties are riddled with the cancer of self entitlement who take us as fans completely for granted.

They have done irreversable damage to the business in many already shaky markets and it will take years to rebuild their fan basesif it can even be saved at all. Serves them right the bunch of jerks.

But we don't care.

THEY AREN'T HOCKEY

As superfans we cheer for something bigger than all of the nonsense provided by the NHL. These people are merely employees of the game we love - not the game we love and that is an important distinction.

The most important thing for me is preserving the happiness, excitement and pure joy of watching the Oilers win/lose/tie that they have provided my entire life. Other sports don't do it. Other teams don't do it. Watching A&E marathons of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo or whatever other BS we have all busied ourselves with during the lockout doesn't do it either.

If that flame ever goes out a massive part of our life will be lost forever. It's far more important that ignore the clowns in the NHL/NHLPA and preserve that happiness that transports us back to being a kid because being happy is a choice not a right.

And so we choose to welcome back the NHL with open arms. Not because we agree with either side or because they appreciate all our attention, money and worship as fans. They are merely the tenants in the house we all love so much not the house itself. We will go back because we love the game.

It's the reason we started these sites, spent a ton subsidizing losses throughout this stupid lockout and will lead the team to bring them back stronger than ever with all of the supremely talented folk that write here and who can't wait to get back at it.

So protest if you want. We completely understand. But we are going back to business as usual.

HEY CALGARY

Game on bitches.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#51 book¡e
January 06 2013, 10:41PM
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Wanye wrote:

Guy 1: "Hey look I have a million dollars."

Guy 2: "Yeah but you found it on the ground."

Guy 1: "If you will excuse me I'm going shopping"

GUY 1 WINS THE MONEY SPENDS THE SAME SON

Why do you hate Charlize Theron so much?

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#52 Oilers Coffey
January 06 2013, 10:43PM
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Reading the Flames trolls trying to trash us here is absolutely comical! It seems our Oilers are oozing with excitement, and it's showing cuz the Phlegms fans can't really say anything good about the old balls team in the saddle.

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#53 bookofloob
January 06 2013, 10:58PM
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Oilers Coffey wrote:

Reading the Flames trolls trying to trash us here is absolutely comical! It seems our Oilers are oozing with excitement, and it's showing cuz the Phlegms fans can't really say anything good about the old balls team in the saddle.

Called this one too.

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#54 book¡e
January 06 2013, 11:03PM
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bookofloob wrote:

Called this one too.

Your next prediction should be that Oiler fans will be laughing, drinking, and rejoicing after the Oilers make the playoffs and the Flames find themselves in 12th place talking about a rebuild and whether or not Jay Feaster should be fired.

Three for three!

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#55 bookofloob
January 06 2013, 11:15PM
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@book¡e

Well that's just silly, isn't it?

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#56 book¡e
January 06 2013, 11:18PM
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bookofloob wrote:

Well that's just silly, isn't it?

True, better to just fire Feaster now I guess.

This is more fun than last weeks big 'Disclosure of Interest' vs 'Full Decertification' debate.

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#57 Reidja
January 06 2013, 11:23PM
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Wow. I came back to the site to checkout some hockey blogging and was told to "eat sh1t"... Have you forgotten how to communicate you boob?...

Kent, am I mistaken in saying that the level of rivalry induced jabs from Oiler's Nations was at least not profane and insulting prior to the lockout? Merely one or the other? Sex sells, not coprophagy.

Hockey related, the "Nuge" was one of the worst captains to wear the C for Canada in an international tournament.

EDIT: Forgot to comment... nice retro video game graphic on the title shot... real fresh... was that a clever reference to the 2004 lockout or your best stuff? Been saving that for months I bet.

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#58 Johe
January 06 2013, 11:36PM
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@Reidja

"Have you forgotten how to communicate you boob?" Oh the irony.

Oh, and this is our site- so if you don't like it, you can leave. Problem solved. :)

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#59 book¡e
January 06 2013, 11:39PM
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Johe wrote:

"Have you forgotten how to communicate you boob?" Oh the irony.

Oh, and this is our site- so if you don't like it, you can leave. Problem solved. :)

Johe, please click visit Flames Nation and understand. The great Wanye has the ability to communicate across the Nations crossposting articles for all to comment on.

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#60 Reidja
January 06 2013, 11:43PM
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Johe wrote:

"Have you forgotten how to communicate you boob?" Oh the irony.

Oh, and this is our site- so if you don't like it, you can leave. Problem solved. :)

It's not funny if you have to explain it Johe, but I invite you to anyway.

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#61 Johe
January 06 2013, 11:46PM
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@book¡e

No! I will never visit the site that shall not be named!!

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#62 bookofloob
January 06 2013, 11:51PM
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So...you guys come here often?

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#63 Reality Check to the head
January 06 2013, 11:55PM
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This oiler/flamer bashing is awesome. Lets keep it up. Better than anything posted here in months. It feels good to get your hate on.

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#65 bookofloob
January 07 2013, 12:13AM
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Hey Wanye, how are you today?

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#67 Oilers Coffey
January 07 2013, 12:23AM
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bookofloob wrote:

Called this one too.

Mediocrity has come over flames fans like the plague. It's the best thing hearing a flames fans cheering, it's funny cuz it literally translates to

"We're # 10 !!!"

Flames you suck, and will suck for the next decade! While we go on our next tear!!! Later suckers...!

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#68 Eddie Shore
January 07 2013, 12:26AM
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SmellOfVictory wrote:

That's too bad, because you could have an actual team if you traded one of those little gaffers for enough of the Flames.

Name two...please. I'd love to know who you think we could use from your dusty squad.

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#70 Deaner_
January 07 2013, 01:31AM
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@Puritania

So will it be hilarious like it has been, and still is for us to see you in the gutter? The triple Coilers eat a big bag of sh!t, laughing stock of the league. No goalie, no defense, no management, retarded fan base, recipe for suckcess.

DEAMONTON POO POO

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#71 Puritania
January 07 2013, 02:43AM
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Funny how two little words threw Flames fans into such a tizzy.

Masterful job Sir Wanye.

#thinskinned

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#72 Alt
January 07 2013, 07:38AM
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How will Yakapov fit in Edmonton if he does,nt like dirty?

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#73 Steve
January 07 2013, 07:52AM
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Your NHL team is in about 12th place in the AHL. Looking good Oil!

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#74 Time Travelling Sean
January 07 2013, 08:43AM
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@Steve

There also only 9 points out of first place.

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#75 Zamboni Driver
January 07 2013, 08:53AM
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First off, bookofloob's jab about the first pick was really really funny.

Second, the ONLY people to be happy for in my mind are people whose normal livelihoods depend on NHL hockey - people that run bars, sell sh*t, work at the arena that shall not be named.

Those people I'm happy for.

Players and owners can drop off the face of the earth. And Smilin' Pat Laforge ain't gonna smooth that.

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#76 The Oilers Shot Clock
January 07 2013, 10:17AM
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Shelbyville ,if you're so great, why is it that we beat you almost half the time?

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#77 seve927
January 07 2013, 10:21AM
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Time Travelling Sean wrote:

There also only 9 points out of first place.

Your NHL team. Whoa! good comeback.

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#78 B S
January 07 2013, 11:41AM
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Steve wrote:

Your NHL team is in about 12th place in the AHL. Looking good Oil!

And where's your NHL team been the last 3 months?

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#79 Captain Ron
January 07 2013, 11:53AM
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I like that picture of the average Tuesday night house party in Edmonton.

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#80 exsanguinator
January 07 2013, 12:15PM
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@book¡e

Jay Feaster has a Stanley Cup ring. Tambellini was a Canuck. Your argument is invalid.

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#81 mcculb
January 07 2013, 12:16PM
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So we are back in junior high. "My AHL team is better that yours!"

But it is nice to see the love we have for each other. That's because Edmonton fans are insecure and Calgary fans regardless still have a much nicer city in view of the mountains with better looking women, Big Rock Beer and a world famous party called the Stampede.

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#82 BurningSensation
January 07 2013, 01:23PM
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OilClog wrote:

I don't know why Calgary looks at our record for the last 5 years and laughs.. Atleast we got something out of it.

We laugh because the architects of your perpetual motion machine of atrociousness get promoted within your organization rather than let go.

We laugh because the once proud franchise that scared the hell out of us now finishes last with atomic clock precision.

We laugh because even your owner can't escape the vortex of suckitude that is Edmonton and threatens to move the team to Seattle after he was uncomfortable with the size of the bribe he extracted from your city council.

We laugh because if douche-bags were people you'd be China.

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#83 Rob...
January 07 2013, 04:13PM
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@BurningSensation

"We laugh because the architects of your perpetual motion machine of atrociousness get promoted within your organization rather than let go."

Yeah, too bad we aren't smart and fire the bums like you did with that Darryl Sutter guy.

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#84 bookofloob
January 08 2013, 01:08AM
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The Oilers Shot Clock wrote:

Shelbyville ,if you're so great, why is it that we beat you almost half the time?

BEST. EVER.

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