FGD: The Beginninging

bookofloob
October 03 2013 03:01PM

 

 

The frosty bite of winter beckons.

Like clockwork, a requiem for a dying season, the fall harvest too marks the ceremony of the game of hockey being born anew. And it's a beautiful thing, friends. Hockey is a beautiful thing. Grace, speed, and poise, all in a perfect, simultaneous symmetry, the essence of sport in its fullest display. A virgin sheet of pristine ice serves as a peerless canvas in which teams of artists create art in motion, day after day, until the quest for the game's ultimate prize, itself a timeless piece of art, is earned.

This is more or less what's in store for your Calgary Flames this season.

Or kinda not really.

Today is game 1 of 82, or as I've been calling it "UGHty-two", and while it's been beaten so squarely into the middle of our collective foreheads that this is going to be a season of transition, of tested patience, and of Christ Butler, that doesn't mean that there's no reason to watch the games, to pick new favourite Flames (all you people stuck in your Comeau Comas have to come out of them eventually), and perhaps most importantly, absolutely hating the opposition.

That starts now.

The Recognizable Calgary Hockey Team Lineup

Courtesy of our friends at Daily Faceoff, of whom WE OWN NOW and can use for our own evil intentioned ruses (but are also just a tremendous resource).

  • Glencross - Stajan - Stempniak
  • Hudler - Backlund - Galiardi
  • Baertschi - Monahan - Jones (!)
  • Bouma - Street - McGrattan
  • Brodie - Giordano
  • Russell - Wideman
  • Butler - O'Brien
  • Ramo

If not for the fact that all the Citizens of the Nations Network are well educated and informed hockey fans (and we love you and you look really nice today), there would be no judgment if the beleaguered cries of "who the hell are these guys?!!?" were uttered by the unwashed masses (you guys should wash).

Indeed, everyone with an interest in the Flames of Calgary probably has his or her own vision of how these lines should look, but hey, most of these guys are more or less interchangeable with each other, so this is about as good as it's going to get, one way or another.

There's going to be some growing pains with this lineup. Hell, even when Mike Cammalleri returns from injury, we'll all be wondering how long it's going to be before he gets shuttled out to another team (REBUILD!!!).

But let's put aside the uncertainty and the overall gloomy outlook at the collection of mostly young men we're looking at here. Line 3, man, Line 3. The Sven and the Svean. That's a thing that's happening. That's the future, sorta. David Jones is going to score 30 goals this year. All break aways and 3on1's. In my head.

Also, it will be interesting to see if the Kris Russell - Dennis Wideman combination continues to look anywhere near as good as they did during prolonged stretches in the preseason, notably on the power play. They done good. If it's something that can continue, perhaps, well...no, nevermind.

Karri Ramo.

Crapitals!

  • Obama - Backstrom - Ovechkin
  • Laich - Grabovski - Obama
  • Chimera - Obama - Ward
  • Obama - Biden - Booker T. Washington
  • Obama - Obama
  • Obama - Obama
  • Hillen - Carrick
  • Holtbama

(Actual lines here, I guess)

The Washington Capitals, apparently, are an essential service, because if you've been paying attention to the news lately, the team are amongst the very few people in DC who will be working tomorrow.

If you think it's hard to hate the Capitals based on the fact that their history with the Calgary Flames is almost nothing, well, think again; you can hate anyone.

Especially when we're talking about a team that drops off after 1.1 lines and used to rolling through a division that used to call the Florida Panthers COMPETITION. Tough break there, hey Oatesy?

Indeed, that top line is bonkers, and Mikhail Grabovski managed to score a hat trick the other night playing on a line with Broos Laich and Troy Brouwer somehow, but after that, this team is laughably bad. Like, so laughable it could sound like virtually any Alex Ovechkin tweet ever.

Admit it, you had no idea John Erskine and Jack Hillen were still in the league. I'm not even entirely sure they know about it.

This is a beatable team. So are the Flames, but if Ovechkin is contained and cannot keep up his alien scoring pace from the end of last season (which, uh...), then the Flames might even actually have a shot in this one. BRIGHTSIDE.

Probably not, but it's possible the Capitals are going to wish they had a slice of Obamacare. After all, McGrattan is in the lineup.

Playoff Race Implications

Several

Players to Watch

How about all of them, jerk? It's the first game of the season and your eye for analysis and critical thought is still in midseason form. Ease into the season before you correctly explain why Matty Franchise is going to win the Vezina this year.

Still though, watch out for Matt Stajan. I assume he's going to do some things.

And Karri Ramo. Ramo is going to be under the spotlight all season, and hopefully this won't be like that time that douchebag Canucks fan shone a laser in Kipper's eyes. Ramo is, by default, the guy now, based on the fact that Reto Berra is not very good at stopping pucks and most of the other guys in the system are either too young or a loose assembly of of old bricks. Ramo has an opportunity to become NHL GOALIE GUY, but man, the pressure is on.

Probably Sean Monahan too. I'll bet that's going to be interesting.

Conclusion

Well it could be hazy days in Cowtown this season, friends, but at least Steve Begin isn't in the lineup.

The first day of the rest of the Flames' life starts tonight, and the path they take today could very well determine just which way this rebuild goes. Also, I wonder if I tend to overexaggerate about these sorts of things?

Nah. Go Flames Go! Hockey's back!

01f20cee6c900dc633fe87a421630f41
The Book of Loob is the Nation's resident expert in flim-flammery and twaddle. An unabashed Flames fan, when BoL is not intellectually bankrupting Flames Nation, he can be seen rooting for Blair Jones, often to excess, at Book of Loob. Follow him on twitter here.
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#1 Lordmork
October 03 2013, 03:18PM
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I'm sad that you beat me to the obvious government shutdown joke.

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#2 Avalain
October 03 2013, 03:38PM
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Technically, we were calling the Florida Panthers competition at the end of the season last year. Damned if they didn't beat us on that one, too.

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#3 ChinookArch
October 03 2013, 03:40PM
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@BoL "Or kinda not really."

Well done!

Is QE2 a Flames fan? She doesn't look too pleased. Scowl faced old bag anyway.

(Oh man, I hope the Monarchist don't get mad at me).

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#4 Kent Wilson
October 03 2013, 03:49PM
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@ChinookArch

That's her cheer face.

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#5 Lober
October 03 2013, 04:22PM
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Why am I so excited!?!?!

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#6 lionlager
October 03 2013, 04:33PM
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RAMO WINS THE VEZINA. SVEN WINS THE CALDER. MCGRATTEN WINS THE HART.

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#7 Rockmorton65
October 03 2013, 04:36PM
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Lober wrote:

Why am I so excited!?!?!

I think its because there is room for optimism in a rebuild.

Getting rid of Iggy, Tangs and Kipper was like opening a window that has been closed all winter and a blast of fresh air has filled the room.

To continue the analogy, winter is over and spring is here. Just because we're a ways from summer doesn't mean we can't play outside right now. We just need to remember that its spring, not summer...yet, and dress accordingly.

Cheers!

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#8 suba steve
October 03 2013, 04:37PM
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Much as, When a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound (if there's no one there to hear it)?....When I scroll down (or up) past Silky Johnson, is he still doin his twitchy pimpy thing?

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#9 Ryan Pike
October 03 2013, 04:47PM
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Realistically: if Bouma is a servicable NHL player, he's a dynamite candidate for the Masterton.

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#10 beloch
October 03 2013, 04:47PM
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"Every one who wilfully, in the presence of Her Majesty,

(a) does an act with intent to alarm Her Majesty or to break the public peace, or

(b) does an act that is intended or is likely to cause bodily harm to Her Majesty,

is guilty of an indictable offence and liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding fourteen years"

Yes, it is illegal in Canada to "alarm" the queen. It's damned fortunate she won't be in attendance tonight or we might lose half the team when she reacts to giveaways and other botched plays!

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#11 Christian Roatis
October 03 2013, 05:12PM
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Ryan Pike wrote:

Realistically: if Bouma is a servicable NHL player, he's a dynamite candidate for the Masterton.

Except he's a Flame and everyone hates the Flames.

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#12 Scary Gary
October 03 2013, 05:21PM
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Jones!

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#13 Kent Wilson
October 03 2013, 05:23PM
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Who had Jones in the poll??

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#14 Jibmeister
October 03 2013, 05:23PM
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Awesome shot.

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#15 seve927
October 03 2013, 05:24PM
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Take that Baalzamon! ;-)

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#16 beloch
October 03 2013, 05:24PM
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@Kent Wilson

Jones wasn't in the poll! I guess we'll call Monahan the closest option since he assisted.

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#17 Dave
October 03 2013, 05:25PM
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Calgary is on pace for 700 goals. Not bad.

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#18 Avalain
October 03 2013, 05:27PM
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Lots of cheering "someone else, idiot" people right now I bet.

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#19 Avalain
October 03 2013, 05:31PM
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Think Jones can keep up his 100% shooting percentage? Because that will make the Tanguay trade a hell of a deal.

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#20 Kent Wilson
October 03 2013, 05:32PM
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Looks like Bouma's hit buggered Hillen's knee.

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#21 Scary Gary
October 03 2013, 05:36PM
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MCL/ACL I'd guess

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#22 Scary Gary
October 03 2013, 05:37PM
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Is that Hartley hockey or are the caps that bad/flat? Both?

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#23 Kent Wilson
October 03 2013, 05:39PM
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Flames are playing quite well so far. Outchancing the Caps 6-5.

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#24 Kent Wilson
October 03 2013, 05:40PM
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@Scary Gary

Caps are flat. They've had looks at the net and decided to try to get fancy and been loose in their own end.

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#25 Jibmeister
October 03 2013, 05:45PM
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McGrattan draws a penalty, haha

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#26 maimster
October 03 2013, 05:46PM
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Wow, Alzer, getting a penalty for interfering McGratten is about as embarassing as it gets!

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#27 maimster
October 03 2013, 05:48PM
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May as well start engraving Stanley right now!

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#28 Kent Wilson
October 03 2013, 05:50PM
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Nice shot by Hudler.

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#29 Avalain
October 03 2013, 05:50PM
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Dave wrote:

Calgary is on pace for 700 goals. Not bad.

And they're still on pace for 700 goals...

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#30 Vowswithin
October 03 2013, 05:51PM
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Jesus nice start to the game. I guess they will be a team that won't just give you a win.

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#31 RexLibris
October 03 2013, 05:53PM
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The thing I'm trying to figure out while watching this game, is whether there is any way the Flames can get Kiprusoff's name included in the engraving this June.

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#32 Ryan Pike
October 03 2013, 05:53PM
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Nice team play on all three goals:
-Monahan with a back-check blocking the Caps clear on the Jones goal.
-Nice 4-on-4 cycle on the second goal.
-Nice screen by Backlund on the third goal.

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#33 ChinookArch
October 03 2013, 05:56PM
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beloch wrote:

"Every one who wilfully, in the presence of Her Majesty,

(a) does an act with intent to alarm Her Majesty or to break the public peace, or

(b) does an act that is intended or is likely to cause bodily harm to Her Majesty,

is guilty of an indictable offence and liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding fourteen years"

Yes, it is illegal in Canada to "alarm" the queen. It's damned fortunate she won't be in attendance tonight or we might lose half the team when she reacts to giveaways and other botched plays!

Boooo!

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#34 Lober
October 03 2013, 05:58PM
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Just ordered some Flames home playoff tickets!

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#35 Kent Wilson
October 03 2013, 05:59PM
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Really good first period. Chances were 8-8. On the road against the Caps, that's nice work.

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#36 beloch
October 03 2013, 06:02PM
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The old malaise that traditionally infects this team is the inability to put together three solid periods. As great as this period was, the game isn't over yet!

Also, I just noticed the caps actually have eagles on their jerseys. W-shaped eagles! Is that new? It's so incredibly lame in the "'merica f'yeah" sense that I'm actually laughing whenever there is a closeup on their jerseys.

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#37 Baalzamon
October 03 2013, 06:05PM
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I just got in because my schedule is moronic. So apparently I missed a goal by Jones. Good for him. I hope he continues to be not-awful.

How does Sven look?

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#38 Burnward
October 03 2013, 06:12PM
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No matter happens the rest of the year, we'll always have period one.

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#39 Kent Wilson
October 03 2013, 06:15PM
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Hey Kris Russell...how many times are you going to fall for the toe drag in the slot?

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#40 BurningSensation
October 03 2013, 06:17PM
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Baalzamon wrote:

I just got in because my schedule is moronic. So apparently I missed a goal by Jones. Good for him. I hope he continues to be not-awful.

How does Sven look?

Sven hasn't been terrible, or all that awesome as of yet, but he did show some nice wheels in the 1st.

What you really missed was David Jones doing a Brett Hull 'pick-the-corner-short-side' snipe that has to be seen to be believed.

I saw it, and I still don't beleive it.

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#41 seve927
October 03 2013, 06:21PM
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Don't think we're learning much about the Flames. Caps look horrible.

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#42 Burnward
October 03 2013, 06:23PM
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I'm perfectly content to watch this hockey team all year long.

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#43 Kent Wilson
October 03 2013, 06:28PM
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Caps are pushing back hard in the second here. They're dominating.

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#44 ChinookArch
October 03 2013, 06:28PM
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I really hate when the a rookie scores his first goal against the Flames.

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#45 Kent Wilson
October 03 2013, 06:29PM
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Damn Stemps.

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#46 Craig
October 03 2013, 06:31PM
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Bouma!! this guy is awesome.

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#47 Jeff In Lethbridge
October 03 2013, 06:32PM
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Ramo seems to always be sliding all over the place... not sure what to make of it.

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#48 Burnward
October 03 2013, 06:33PM
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THIS TEAM IS AWESOME!

At the very least, all my Oiler fan family are cringing tonight!

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#49 Kent Wilson
October 03 2013, 06:33PM
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@Craig

haha, nice start for him for sure. Helps when the goalie does that too.

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#50 Craig
October 03 2013, 06:35PM
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@Kent Wilson

I want to see a gordie howe for Bouma

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