FGD: Suck It

Justin Azevedo
November 16 2013 03:30PM

Oilers Flames Hockey

Via halifaxdrunk

Originally, this was going to be a sob piece.

Man, was it ever going to be beautiful. Our cities' respective teams are both, in a word, repugnant. Flawed management persists, coaches play favourites, people still buy tickets and no one wins. There's so many reasons why fans of these two teams are alike.

But then I thought that wallowing in sadness wasn't really in the spirit of the Battle of Alberta.

So then I thought I would write about the juxtaposition of the Oilers (who have gone more than two decades without a cup, who have inept upper management leaders that refuse to abdicate their power to people who in no way could do a worse job running the team, who have endured a streak of more than half a decade without the playoffs and who have fans thinking there is no future) against the Flames, (who have gone more than two decades without a cup, who have inept upper management leaders that refuse to abdicate their power to people who in no way could do a worse job running the team than they have, who have endured a streak of more than half a decade without the playoffs and who have fans thinking there is no future) because the two teams are obviously so different. But that was a garbage idea too.

So, let's be honest here - in terms of the hockey game out there tonight, there's not really much to care about because both of these teams suck for so many reasons. Thus, that concludes your game preview.

 

Haha, man, you really did think that was the end, didn't you? Wouldn't be surprised. You are from Edmonton. Hell, I'm surprised you've even made it this far without slumping over and drooling on your keyboard.

 

I came to the conclusion that what I really should be writing about is how f***ing bad Edmonton is.

  • Every single one of your sports teams is garbage. They've all fallen, and they can't get up.
  • Seriously, what the f*ck is "#GOilers"? Goilers sounds like a mutated version of herpes.
  • H and E are really all that's left and E bleeds shot attempts. How awesome is that contract going to look in like, oh, 8 months ago?

Clean Hit

  • What in the blue f*ck is this stupid "squeeee" bullsh*t? "I'm going to make the most annoying noise possible when my favourite overrated player does anything remotely positive because LOL!" Good thing Eberle doesn't do much good often. 

GAZE UPON YOUR GOD, WHO HAS FORSAKEN YOU

  • God Edmonton media is just the worst, too. "Let's run every talented player who doesn't speak english out of town! GRIT! TOUGHNESS! GAZDICCCCCCCCCCCCCCC"

"Oh Yeah He Totally Won That One"

  • I had to drive through Edmonton on my way to Bonnyville this summer. Even passing through the city was terrible. The roads look like the pockmarked face of a 70 year old pack-a-day smoker. Even the "engineering wonder" that is the Anthony Henday is terrible in comparison to Calgary's ring road. Ours is going to be done when yours is even though it's longer (25 kms) and it started like a decade later.
  • I guess living within explosion distance of refineries makes up for the 2 cent difference in gas.
  • Does anyone really even give a sh*t about West Edmonton Mall anymore? All it is is monolithic, ugly and out-of-date.
  • Haha the downtown arena man that's a horrible idea huge waste of money
  • Oh that's still going forward okay then lol
  • Also looks like sperm

This was actually on the city's website. Seriously.

  • Can a city really be called a city of champions if no one ever wins anything?
  • Why are there hundreds of jacked up trucks that are always sparkling clean?
  • 2011's Homicide Capital of Canada!

Edmonton Sun, Jan. 1, 2012

  • Capital Ex (or Klondike days or whatever it's called) is basically the ginger who writes "butts" as an answer on his test compared to the A+ student that is the Calgary Stampede.
  • http://walkingdeadmonton.tumblr.com
  • We even hate Toronto, Vancouver and Montréal better than you do!

In summary,

Love, Justin

A9d138d0e612f28cd46f9b7057ed715d
Justin is a 23-year-old Flames fan who also happens to be pursuing a double major at the University of Calgary. He has played hockey at high levels, enjoys wearing shorts and tends to drink far too much Grasshopper. Please don't hate him.
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#151 Ryan Pike
November 16 2013, 08:51PM
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Best first period the Flames could've hoped for. After the cluster that was the last few games, much more structured game in all three zones.

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#152 Ed Wailin'
November 16 2013, 08:52PM
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@YFC Prez

hahahaha touche' sir

I'm just saying, it was in obvious response to the earlier fight... I'm less ok with that than I am for Mcgratten fighting a dude that asks him to fight, thats all.

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#153 Jay
November 16 2013, 08:54PM
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I miss the lockout...

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#154 Clyde
November 16 2013, 08:59PM
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Gillies with a shutout today. I think he was the guy Feaster meant was the best guy taken in the 2012 draft. It just sounded like he said jankowski

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#155 DSF
November 16 2013, 08:59PM
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Someone is going to kill Ference.

He attacked an injured player.

And he deserves it.

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#156 Hauk15
November 16 2013, 09:02PM
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Oilers are so damn bad, I'm on the verge of taking the year off. I can't take it anymore, a loss tonight will kill all my hope.

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#157 YFC Prez
November 16 2013, 09:02PM
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Wow even glen Healy is talking about Shea weber to Edmonton trades. But out here that's not really "thinking outside the box". I think I've heard every scenario possible.

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#158 Old Retired Guy (A.K.A. Die-Nasty)
November 16 2013, 09:02PM
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The Oilers are an outstanding group of individuals.

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#159 Hauk15
November 16 2013, 09:02PM
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Oilers are so damn bad, I'm on the verge of taking the year off. I can't take it anymore, a loss tonight will kill all my hope.

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#160 Hauk15
November 16 2013, 09:03PM
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Oilers are so damn bad, I'm on the verge of taking the year off. I can't take it anymore, a loss tonight will kill all my hope.

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#161 beloch
November 16 2013, 09:03PM
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@DSF

He has it coming, but McG might need skin-grafts over his knuckles after that 12-rounder!

The Flames were clearly the better team in the 1st, but Dubnyk looked a lot more confident than Berra. The Flames are going to have to keep dominating or Dubnyk might steal this one.

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#162 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 16 2013, 09:03PM
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Ferrence take exception to a clean hit and punches a guy shaken up after hitting the boards... very Oiler.

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#163 Reg Dunlop
November 16 2013, 09:06PM
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The oil are only 20 NHL calibre players away from being playoff bound! Patience, oil fans.

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#164 DSF
November 16 2013, 09:07PM
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beloch wrote:

He has it coming, but McG might need skin-grafts over his knuckles after that 12-rounder!

The Flames were clearly the better team in the 1st, but Dubnyk looked a lot more confident than Berra. The Flames are going to have to keep dominating or Dubnyk might steal this one.

Ference was way over the line there.

He deserves a beating.

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#165 Old Retired Guy (A.K.A. Die-Nasty)
November 16 2013, 09:07PM
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beloch wrote:

He has it coming, but McG might need skin-grafts over his knuckles after that 12-rounder!

The Flames were clearly the better team in the 1st, but Dubnyk looked a lot more confident than Berra. The Flames are going to have to keep dominating or Dubnyk might steal this one.

You're kidding right?!

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#166 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 16 2013, 09:08PM
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DSF wrote:

Someone is going to kill Ference.

He attacked an injured player.

And he deserves it.

I was surprised by Ferrence... I thought he was a bigger man then that.

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#167 Old Retired Guy (A.K.A. Die-Nasty)
November 16 2013, 09:08PM
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DSF wrote:

Ference was way over the line there.

He deserves a beating.

You deserve a beating...but you're still here.

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#168 outdoorzguy
November 16 2013, 09:08PM
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@YFC Prez

And how would Weber help with the inept coaching who wouldn't have a clue how to use him properly?

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#169 Cowtown 1989
November 16 2013, 09:08PM
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I used to have a great deal of respect for Ference but attacking an unwilling Stempy after a clean hit has me a bit riled up. I hope the Flames use this as a team rallying point for the rest of the game. Is the Battle of Alberta version 2.0 starting tonight?

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#170 Fresh Mess
November 16 2013, 09:08PM
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Jeff In Lethbridge wrote:

Ferrence take exception to a clean hit and punches a guy shaken up after hitting the boards... very Oiler.

yeah. biatch move by Ferrence

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#171 DSF
November 16 2013, 09:08PM
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YFC Prez wrote:

Wow even glen Healy is talking about Shea weber to Edmonton trades. But out here that's not really "thinking outside the box". I think I've heard every scenario possible.

How about Hall, Eberle, Hopkins and Yakupov to Nashville for Weber.

Nashville might turn that down though.

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#172 Slats
November 16 2013, 09:09PM
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Justin is the double major so you can be idiot about 3 thiings including hockey.

Time to go back to the FN site for a peppy 20 post banter about how they should have left Monaghan back in junior ...

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#173 Hockey Fan 1976
November 16 2013, 09:09PM
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Ference, you better hide cause its coming to you.

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#174 Old Retired Guy (A.K.A. Die-Nasty)
November 16 2013, 09:09PM
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Jeff In Lethbridge wrote:

Ferrence take exception to a clean hit and punches a guy shaken up after hitting the boards... very Oiler.

Let's hope so!

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#175 Fresh Mess
November 16 2013, 09:12PM
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that's a goal

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#176 outdoorzguy
November 16 2013, 09:13PM
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Take those microphones off the referees. They never work most of the time and we Canadians understand DO know what's happening. The NFL doesn't work in arenas!!

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#177 YFC Prez
November 16 2013, 09:13PM
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@DSF

I was surprised to hear that from a professional panel. I would have laughed my butt off if he included Omark in the deal.

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#178 Parallex
November 16 2013, 09:13PM
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Really impressed with Monahan tonight... showing great patience and smarts with the puck.

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#179 Andrew
November 16 2013, 09:13PM
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I'm so glad MacT's answer for this heartless, nutless team is to stay the course. Is it possible Oiler fans will support another 7 yrs of this joke of an organization? Katz/Lowe/MacT seem to think so

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#180 Hauk15
November 16 2013, 09:15PM
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Sorry for the spam comments, my computer is a dumb ass. Also what did Ference do? I missed it unfortunately...

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#181 YFC Prez
November 16 2013, 09:15PM
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Jeff In Lethbridge wrote:

Ferrence take exception to a clean hit and punches a guy shaken up after hitting the boards... very Oiler.

Have you watched this team the past 4 years. Those responses never happen. Typically the oilers are punching bags. Is is nice to see a player take exception and actually do something. And if stempniak can hit like that he can fight.

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#182 Randaman
November 16 2013, 09:16PM
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Can they just stay in Calgary after the game? They can have this bunch of coach killers. Pathetic on the effort scale so far

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#183 Arik
November 16 2013, 09:16PM
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Ryan Pike wrote:

Best first period the Flames could've hoped for. After the cluster that was the last few games, much more structured game in all three zones.

Cluster of what? Cluster of games because they were close together? Cluster of grapes because grapes are delicious?

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#184 YFC Prez
November 16 2013, 09:17PM
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@Hauk15

Stood up for himself.

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#185 Fresh Mess
November 16 2013, 09:17PM
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Andrew wrote:

I'm so glad MacT's answer for this heartless, nutless team is to stay the course. Is it possible Oiler fans will support another 7 yrs of this joke of an organization? Katz/Lowe/MacT seem to think so

MacLooselips isn't staying the course. His move was to trade away Smid for nothing and make the team weaker.

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#186 Randaman
November 16 2013, 09:18PM
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outdoorzguy wrote:

Take those microphones off the referees. They never work most of the time and we Canadians understand DO know what's happening. The NFL doesn't work in arenas!!

Can someone also take the microphone away from Hrudy? What a moron.

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#187 Hauk15
November 16 2013, 09:22PM
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My most hated penalty, even worse than delay of game. Bunch of dumb asses can't even manage a clean change.

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#188 Randaman
November 16 2013, 09:22PM
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Fresh Mess wrote:

that's a goal

This is hockey, not rugby.

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#189 YFC Prez
November 16 2013, 09:24PM
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Hey. A pp that's worse than the oils. Huh ... Who knew

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#190 negrilcowboy
November 16 2013, 09:25PM
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trade hrudey to nashville

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#191 Walter Sobchak
November 16 2013, 09:26PM
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DSF wrote:

Ference was way over the line there.

He deserves a beating.

I'm not condoning what Ference did, but when your on a losing streak, playing on a brutal team while trying to keep the team motivated........sometimes you just snap! Ference simply snapped.

No excuses, but emotion is part of the game.

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#192 @Oilanderp
November 16 2013, 09:28PM
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Jeff In Lethbridge wrote:

I bought the new Flames third jersey...

did anyone else yet?

Expensive way to make shop rags.

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#193 Parallex
November 16 2013, 09:30PM
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YFC Prez wrote:

Hey. A pp that's worse than the oils. Huh ... Who knew

Everyone in Calgary.

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#194 Fresh Mess
November 16 2013, 09:32PM
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This is the first Flames sweater I've actually liked. that franchise has a long history of hideous sweaters, culminating with the nostril fire-breathing horse.

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#195 Fresh Mess
November 16 2013, 09:33PM
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LOL. Gagner wiffs on the open net. LOL

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#196 Hauk15
November 16 2013, 09:37PM
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Anybody wanna help me burn down Rexall tonight?

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#197 Hockey fan 1976
November 16 2013, 09:38PM
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LMAO. God the Oilers suck!!! Am shutting the TV off. Brutal!!!!

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#198 Cynic
November 16 2013, 09:38PM
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I was watching football and just tuned in to this Oilers loss. Which of Albertan's POS teams is winning the Corgis?

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#199 YFC Prez
November 16 2013, 09:39PM
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Walter Sobchak wrote:

I'm not condoning what Ference did, but when your on a losing streak, playing on a brutal team while trying to keep the team motivated........sometimes you just snap! Ference simply snapped.

No excuses, but emotion is part of the game.

I'm looking forward to seeing the day Taylor hall snaps. That's going to be a show and I think it's coming soon.

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#200 Reg Dunlop
November 16 2013, 09:40PM
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Nice to see 3 phlegms rough up little Nuge with the rest of the oil AWOL. Will an embarrassing shutout loss tonight be enough to get the attention of Katz?

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