FGD: Suck It

Justin Azevedo
November 16 2013 03:30PM

Oilers Flames Hockey

Via halifaxdrunk

Originally, this was going to be a sob piece.

Man, was it ever going to be beautiful. Our cities' respective teams are both, in a word, repugnant. Flawed management persists, coaches play favourites, people still buy tickets and no one wins. There's so many reasons why fans of these two teams are alike.

But then I thought that wallowing in sadness wasn't really in the spirit of the Battle of Alberta.

So then I thought I would write about the juxtaposition of the Oilers (who have gone more than two decades without a cup, who have inept upper management leaders that refuse to abdicate their power to people who in no way could do a worse job running the team, who have endured a streak of more than half a decade without the playoffs and who have fans thinking there is no future) against the Flames, (who have gone more than two decades without a cup, who have inept upper management leaders that refuse to abdicate their power to people who in no way could do a worse job running the team than they have, who have endured a streak of more than half a decade without the playoffs and who have fans thinking there is no future) because the two teams are obviously so different. But that was a garbage idea too.

So, let's be honest here - in terms of the hockey game out there tonight, there's not really much to care about because both of these teams suck for so many reasons. Thus, that concludes your game preview.

 

Haha, man, you really did think that was the end, didn't you? Wouldn't be surprised. You are from Edmonton. Hell, I'm surprised you've even made it this far without slumping over and drooling on your keyboard.

 

I came to the conclusion that what I really should be writing about is how f***ing bad Edmonton is.

  • Every single one of your sports teams is garbage. They've all fallen, and they can't get up.
  • Seriously, what the f*ck is "#GOilers"? Goilers sounds like a mutated version of herpes.
  • H and E are really all that's left and E bleeds shot attempts. How awesome is that contract going to look in like, oh, 8 months ago?

Clean Hit

  • What in the blue f*ck is this stupid "squeeee" bullsh*t? "I'm going to make the most annoying noise possible when my favourite overrated player does anything remotely positive because LOL!" Good thing Eberle doesn't do much good often. 

GAZE UPON YOUR GOD, WHO HAS FORSAKEN YOU

  • God Edmonton media is just the worst, too. "Let's run every talented player who doesn't speak english out of town! GRIT! TOUGHNESS! GAZDICCCCCCCCCCCCCCC"

"Oh Yeah He Totally Won That One"

  • I had to drive through Edmonton on my way to Bonnyville this summer. Even passing through the city was terrible. The roads look like the pockmarked face of a 70 year old pack-a-day smoker. Even the "engineering wonder" that is the Anthony Henday is terrible in comparison to Calgary's ring road. Ours is going to be done when yours is even though it's longer (25 kms) and it started like a decade later.
  • I guess living within explosion distance of refineries makes up for the 2 cent difference in gas.
  • Does anyone really even give a sh*t about West Edmonton Mall anymore? All it is is monolithic, ugly and out-of-date.
  • Haha the downtown arena man that's a horrible idea huge waste of money
  • Oh that's still going forward okay then lol
  • Also looks like sperm

This was actually on the city's website. Seriously.

  • Can a city really be called a city of champions if no one ever wins anything?
  • Why are there hundreds of jacked up trucks that are always sparkling clean?
  • 2011's Homicide Capital of Canada!

Edmonton Sun, Jan. 1, 2012

  • Capital Ex (or Klondike days or whatever it's called) is basically the ginger who writes "butts" as an answer on his test compared to the A+ student that is the Calgary Stampede.
  • http://walkingdeadmonton.tumblr.com
  • We even hate Toronto, Vancouver and Montréal better than you do!

In summary,

Love, Justin

A9d138d0e612f28cd46f9b7057ed715d
Justin is a 23-year-old Flames fan who also happens to be pursuing a double major at the University of Calgary. He has played hockey at high levels, enjoys wearing shorts and tends to drink far too much Grasshopper. Please don't hate him.
Avatar
#251 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 16 2013, 10:23PM
Trash it!
5
trashes
Props
1
props

oh! the drama!!!

Avatar
#252 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 16 2013, 10:24PM
Trash it!
4
trashes
Props
0
props

oh! the drama!!!

Avatar
#253 Johnnydapunk
November 16 2013, 10:25PM
Trash it!
2
trashes
Props
4
props

Is Berra Dubnyk in disguise??

Avatar
#254 Andy7190
November 16 2013, 10:26PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

@Alsker

I'm not sure what Hartley sees in Berra. That's the same goal Joey Mac gave up and ended up in the minors for. Oilers have life.

Avatar
#255 Drowning in Oil
November 16 2013, 10:27PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
9
props

I take it all back. The Oilers are now a Power House. Mac T and KLowe are mad wizards. Eakins is a strategic general. Go Oil, Go!!

Avatar
#256 YFC Prez
November 16 2013, 10:28PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
22
props

@Johnnydapunk

Dubnyk is playing very well. Has since the briz signing. Just reinforces the notion that he needs to be pushed. Dubnyk is the reason were winning this game.

Avatar
#257 Andy7190
November 16 2013, 10:29PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
2
props

I'm not sure what Hartley sees in Berra. That's the same goal Joey Mac gave up and he ended up in the minors for it. Oilers have life.

Avatar
#258 vetinari
November 16 2013, 10:29PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
5
props

The Barons.... er... Oilers have tied it...

Avatar
#259 Andy7190
November 16 2013, 10:32PM
Trash it!
6
trashes
Props
1
props
YFC Prez wrote:

Dubnyk is playing very well. Has since the briz signing. Just reinforces the notion that he needs to be pushed. Dubnyk is the reason were winning this game.

Give him time!

Avatar
#260 Clyde
November 16 2013, 10:32PM
Trash it!
1
trashes
Props
4
props
Andy7190 wrote:

I'm not sure what Hartley sees in Berra. That's the same goal Joey Mac gave up and he ended up in the minors for it. Oilers have life.

We got this guy for Jbo who many are predicting makes the Olympic team. Hope poirier turns into something

Avatar
#261 Andy7190
November 16 2013, 10:35PM
Trash it!
2
trashes
Props
2
props
Clyde wrote:

We got this guy for Jbo who many are predicting makes the Olympic team. Hope poirier turns into something

He could be a #1, but I'm not one of these people in love with giant goalies. Like Dubnyk.

Avatar
#262 Hauk15
November 16 2013, 10:36PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
29
props

Hall, Nuge, and Eberle are making the flames look like a bunch of pylons

Avatar
#263 Johnnydapunk
November 16 2013, 10:36PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
9
props
YFC Prez wrote:

Dubnyk is playing very well. Has since the briz signing. Just reinforces the notion that he needs to be pushed. Dubnyk is the reason were winning this game.

Completely agree, Dubnyk has been on fire since the Bryz got signed. I actually rate Berra quite highly as well, his shot stopping is usually amazing. He has had a bit of a rough ride so far though.

Now is Dubnyks big test, this is what makes a good goalie great, not letting in the goal that matters. Fuhr was legendary for that.

Avatar
#264 Hauk15
November 16 2013, 10:37PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
34
props

I don't believe my eyes! Did the Edmonton Oilers just win a hockey game?

Avatar
#265 Cynic
November 16 2013, 10:38PM
Trash it!
9
trashes
Props
17
props

Congrats, Oiler fan. You beat the 2nd-worst franchise in the NHL. Celebrate.

Avatar
#266 YFC Prez
November 16 2013, 10:40PM
Trash it!
4
trashes
Props
25
props

What did gagner do to get a star? Perron, Hemmer, and Hall all had much better games

Avatar
#267 Rob F
November 16 2013, 10:40PM
Trash it!
9
trashes
Props
8
props

congrats.....the oilers are the tallest midget.....

Avatar
#268 vetinari
November 16 2013, 10:40PM
Trash it!
5
trashes
Props
5
props

The Barons win!?!

Avatar
#269 Rod from Viking
November 16 2013, 10:41PM
Trash it!
1
trashes
Props
5
props
YFC Prez wrote:

Dubnyk is playing very well. Has since the briz signing. Just reinforces the notion that he needs to be pushed. Dubnyk is the reason were winning this game.

Exactly, having your buddy for the back up was never a good idea, the team has been playing better in front of him as well. 4-2 Oil, the kind of 3rd period I have been hoping for, the Oil have played better since Gazdic took on McGratton, I thought that could have went bad and he did very well.

Avatar
#270 Drowning in Oil
November 16 2013, 10:42PM
Trash it!
8
trashes
Props
16
props

DUBNYK PLAYED GREAT TONIGHT. YOU GUYS WANTED HIM TO STEAL A WIN. TONIGHT MAY HAVE BEEN THE NIGHT. HE ACTUALLY PLAYED SO GOOD THAT THIS MANAGEMENT GROUP WILL PROBABLY HAVE BRYZ PLAY THE NEXT GAME........ SMYTH IS SO, SO BAD. THAT PASS WITH 2 MINUTES LEFT WAS A PASS MY 7 YEAR OLD MAKES, 2 FT BEHIND PERRON. HIS ICETIME IS ASTONISHING!!

Avatar
#271 Stack Pad Save
November 16 2013, 10:43PM
Trash it!
1
trashes
Props
11
props

Potter, zero ice time in the third. Enough of the negative, time to celebrate! Love it when the RNH-Hall-Eberle line decides to take over a game and dominate. Yak had a good jump in his game, starting to use his teamates more. Belove and Petry both had excellent third periods.

Avatar
#272 Hauk15
November 16 2013, 10:44PM
Trash it!
4
trashes
Props
38
props

Just saw the Ference fight....I liked it, dirty, but I liked it. Flamer got his ass beat. I like it a lot.

Avatar
#273 Sammy
November 16 2013, 10:44PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
39
props

Who can suck it now young Justin?

Avatar
#274 YFC Prez
November 16 2013, 10:44PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
7
props

@Drowning in Oil

My ears hurt

Avatar
#275 Stack Pad Save
November 16 2013, 10:45PM
Trash it!
4
trashes
Props
13
props
Hauk15 wrote:

Just saw the Ference fight....I liked it, dirty, but I liked it. Flamer got his ass beat. I like it a lot.

I showed my son some classic battle of Alberta line brawls. I was so happy to finally see an Oiler actually get mad on the ice and than do something. THAT fight was the turning point in the game for the Oilers. They finally got engaged in the game after Ference knocked dudes tooth out after a hit he didn't like taking. Great hockey.

Avatar
#276 Harlie
November 16 2013, 10:46PM
Trash it!
2
trashes
Props
23
props

HAHA the fLames are worse than us.

Chiclet pickers.

Avatar
#277 Stack Pad Save
November 16 2013, 10:46PM
Trash it!
1
trashes
Props
6
props

@Sammy

looking forward to the next Flames vs Oilers OGD blog post

Avatar
#278 Sammy
November 16 2013, 10:46PM
Trash it!
1
trashes
Props
7
props

BTW, I know your from Calgary so I'll spell it out for you Justin. You and your Flamers can suck it. Your welcome!

Avatar
#279 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 16 2013, 10:46PM
Trash it!
12
trashes
Props
8
props

lets see... Flames are rebuilding, expected to be bad but have looked very good in spite of mising its top players all year... get beat by a geam that is sposed to be past the rebuild and challenging for playoffs as they get better.. and they look like crap...

hahaha im actually lving the season so far as flames are playing a good style of hockey and fun to watch with exception of a couple games. Top pick at the xraft, a couple vets traded for first and second rounder drafts and prospects johny hockey coming up the pike and 30+ million in cap space... things xont look so bad. Id say rebuilding is fun and eazy.

Avatar
#280 Drowning in Oil
November 16 2013, 10:47PM
Trash it!
1
trashes
Props
2
props
YFC Prez wrote:

My ears hurt

I know, I know. I was screaming so I had to put it in caps!! I am that emotional with this bloody team!!

Avatar
#281 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 16 2013, 10:48PM
Trash it!
4
trashes
Props
4
props
Stack Pad Save wrote:

looking forward to the next Flames vs Oilers OGD blog post

hahahaha wonder if it will have to be explained to five dozen half wits that dont get it... like tonigght... hahaba

Avatar
#282 SmellOfVictory
November 16 2013, 10:48PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
2
props

WHY THE HELL WAS COLBORNE ON THE ICE AT ALL WHEN THE FLAMES WERE DOWN? He's so god damned infuriating to watch.

Avatar
#283 MMAX
November 16 2013, 10:48PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
17
props

This win should be enough to keep 6-Rings safe for a while.......Damn.

Avatar
#284 Stack Pad Save
November 16 2013, 10:48PM
Trash it!
1
trashes
Props
6
props
Jeff In Lethbridge wrote:

lets see... Flames are rebuilding, expected to be bad but have looked very good in spite of mising its top players all year... get beat by a geam that is sposed to be past the rebuild and challenging for playoffs as they get better.. and they look like crap...

hahaha im actually lving the season so far as flames are playing a good style of hockey and fun to watch with exception of a couple games. Top pick at the xraft, a couple vets traded for first and second rounder drafts and prospects johny hockey coming up the pike and 30+ million in cap space... things xont look so bad. Id say rebuilding is fun and eazy.

fLames suck and I hope they stock pile for this weak draft and end up in an eternal rebuild of hell ... oh wait dont worry Brian Burke and Feaster will trade their first overall draft pick for Joffrey Lupul at the deadline.

Avatar
#285 Lowetide
November 16 2013, 10:49PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
41
props

this is why we NEVER mock the other team. The Hockey Gods lie in wait for these kinds of things.

Avatar
#286 Andy7190
November 16 2013, 10:49PM
Trash it!
2
trashes
Props
4
props

@Jeff In Lethbridge

Unless they find themselves still doing that 8 years later. Losing can be hard to stop, after it takes to long a hold. Just ask the Islanders or the Oilers.

Avatar
#287 TDSM31
November 16 2013, 10:50PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
3
props
YFC Prez wrote:

Dubnyk is playing very well. Has since the briz signing. Just reinforces the notion that he needs to be pushed. Dubnyk is the reason were winning this game.

Yeah, Dubnyk has turned his game around but I still have a mild stroke when the other team gets outside shots on him...like SJ hit a couple posts on really generic looking shots then there were a few tonight that made me flinch. I guess I shouldn't complain...at least they're not going in.

Avatar
#288 Johnnydapunk
November 16 2013, 10:50PM
Trash it!
1
trashes
Props
1
props
Andy7190 wrote:

I'm not sure what Hartley sees in Berra. That's the same goal Joey Mac gave up and ended up in the minors for. Oilers have life.

I know it doesn't look like it and I never thought I would actually defend a Flames player, but Berra has been a monster in goal for years in the Swiss league which I am aware is nowhere near the quality of the NHL but he has some decent seasons there and also was pretty God like in the World Championships which I also know isn't NHL, but his shot stopping ability is usually really good. I think he will get a lot better the more he plays as it does take time for goalies to get used to NHL rink sizes as the angles are different and the smaller ice surface means more bodies all over the place.

I also read that MacDonald didn't show up to camp in the best shape despite the fact that the Flames starting goaltending job was his to lose.

I lived in Europe for quite a while and followed a lot leagues there, hence the geek knowledge of Swiss Hockey and Berra :-)

Avatar
#289 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 16 2013, 10:50PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
5
props
Harlie wrote:

HAHA the fLames are worse than us.

Chiclet pickers.

wow that was dirty!!!

hahahaha

Avatar
#290 the-wolf
November 16 2013, 10:50PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
2
props

Shameful. If those rumors i've heard are about going for it are true than this game should be a big wake up call to reality for Flames ownersip/management.

Avatar
#291 YFC Prez
November 16 2013, 10:50PM
Trash it!
2
trashes
Props
6
props

@Jeff In Lethbridge

You should save that post you just made somewhere and read it in 3 years. It'll likely give you a little chuckle , followed by a angry tearful mental breakdown

Avatar
#292 JonnyT
November 16 2013, 10:50PM
Trash it!
17
trashes
Props
5
props

@Sammy

..Sammy. Be honest with yourself. You won 1 game. 1. Due two incredibly lucky goals. Calm down. The oilers are still a very very below average hockey club. We outshot and outchanced you guys. On top of that, we went to the dirty areas to score unlike you guys. We're also in year 1 of rebuilding. Unlike you guys. I'd say I like my team better and evidently our flamers and I will not "suck it".

Avatar
#293 jonny94
November 16 2013, 10:51PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
10
props

I'm excited for the next Oilers/Flames GDB. I'm sure Wanye will have a few responses for this witty Justin blogger.

Good battle between both teams, good to see both teams compete for a much needed W.

I really hope the Oilers next 20 games help us forget these past 20.

Avatar
#294 Andy7190
November 16 2013, 10:52PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
2
props

@Johnnydapunk

Good insight there, thanks.

Avatar
#295 Stack Pad Save
November 16 2013, 10:53PM
Trash it!
3
trashes
Props
8
props
JonnyT wrote:

..Sammy. Be honest with yourself. You won 1 game. 1. Due two incredibly lucky goals. Calm down. The oilers are still a very very below average hockey club. We outshot and outchanced you guys. On top of that, we went to the dirty areas to score unlike you guys. We're also in year 1 of rebuilding. Unlike you guys. I'd say I like my team better and evidently our flamers and I will not "suck it".

Did you watch the whole game? The fLames played better in the first, but not the second or the third. I would say you need to take off the fLame tinted goggles(P.S. they don't look good with your fake cowboy cowboy hat anyway).

Avatar
#296 Joel
November 16 2013, 10:53PM
Trash it!
2
trashes
Props
1
props

Oilers were lucky they were still in the game after the 1st.

Edmonton did play a strong 3rd period and won against the battle of the AHL teams

Avatar
#297 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 16 2013, 10:55PM
Trash it!
3
trashes
Props
5
props
Stack Pad Save wrote:

fLames suck and I hope they stock pile for this weak draft and end up in an eternal rebuild of hell ... oh wait dont worry Brian Burke and Feaster will trade their first overall draft pick for Joffrey Lupul at the deadline.

"Flames suck" dam that was a zinger... did you think that up all by yourself? hahahaha

you hope we have as much pain as you've had??? I wouldnt wish that on my worste enemy.

hehehehe

Avatar
#298 Stack Pad Save
November 16 2013, 10:57PM
Trash it!
1
trashes
Props
4
props

@Jeff In Lethbridge

I don't really need a "zinger" to laugh over the internet like a girl (teehehhe), today I just get to point at the score board and smile.

Avatar
#299 Tim
November 16 2013, 10:58PM
Trash it!
1
trashes
Props
3
props

GSP

Avatar
#300 Old Retired Guy (A.K.A. Die-Nasty)
November 16 2013, 10:58PM
Trash it!
1
trashes
Props
13
props
Walter Sobchak wrote:

I'm not condoning what Ference did, but when your on a losing streak, playing on a brutal team while trying to keep the team motivated........sometimes you just snap! Ference simply snapped.

No excuses, but emotion is part of the game.

I'm condoning what he did.

Comments are closed for this article.