FGD: Suck It

Justin Azevedo
November 16 2013 03:30PM

Oilers Flames Hockey

Via halifaxdrunk

Originally, this was going to be a sob piece.

Man, was it ever going to be beautiful. Our cities' respective teams are both, in a word, repugnant. Flawed management persists, coaches play favourites, people still buy tickets and no one wins. There's so many reasons why fans of these two teams are alike.

But then I thought that wallowing in sadness wasn't really in the spirit of the Battle of Alberta.

So then I thought I would write about the juxtaposition of the Oilers (who have gone more than two decades without a cup, who have inept upper management leaders that refuse to abdicate their power to people who in no way could do a worse job running the team, who have endured a streak of more than half a decade without the playoffs and who have fans thinking there is no future) against the Flames, (who have gone more than two decades without a cup, who have inept upper management leaders that refuse to abdicate their power to people who in no way could do a worse job running the team than they have, who have endured a streak of more than half a decade without the playoffs and who have fans thinking there is no future) because the two teams are obviously so different. But that was a garbage idea too.

So, let's be honest here - in terms of the hockey game out there tonight, there's not really much to care about because both of these teams suck for so many reasons. Thus, that concludes your game preview.

 

Haha, man, you really did think that was the end, didn't you? Wouldn't be surprised. You are from Edmonton. Hell, I'm surprised you've even made it this far without slumping over and drooling on your keyboard.

 

I came to the conclusion that what I really should be writing about is how f***ing bad Edmonton is.

  • Every single one of your sports teams is garbage. They've all fallen, and they can't get up.
  • Seriously, what the f*ck is "#GOilers"? Goilers sounds like a mutated version of herpes.
  • H and E are really all that's left and E bleeds shot attempts. How awesome is that contract going to look in like, oh, 8 months ago?

Clean Hit

  • What in the blue f*ck is this stupid "squeeee" bullsh*t? "I'm going to make the most annoying noise possible when my favourite overrated player does anything remotely positive because LOL!" Good thing Eberle doesn't do much good often. 

GAZE UPON YOUR GOD, WHO HAS FORSAKEN YOU

  • God Edmonton media is just the worst, too. "Let's run every talented player who doesn't speak english out of town! GRIT! TOUGHNESS! GAZDICCCCCCCCCCCCCCC"

"Oh Yeah He Totally Won That One"

  • I had to drive through Edmonton on my way to Bonnyville this summer. Even passing through the city was terrible. The roads look like the pockmarked face of a 70 year old pack-a-day smoker. Even the "engineering wonder" that is the Anthony Henday is terrible in comparison to Calgary's ring road. Ours is going to be done when yours is even though it's longer (25 kms) and it started like a decade later.
  • I guess living within explosion distance of refineries makes up for the 2 cent difference in gas.
  • Does anyone really even give a sh*t about West Edmonton Mall anymore? All it is is monolithic, ugly and out-of-date.
  • Haha the downtown arena man that's a horrible idea huge waste of money
  • Oh that's still going forward okay then lol
  • Also looks like sperm

This was actually on the city's website. Seriously.

  • Can a city really be called a city of champions if no one ever wins anything?
  • Why are there hundreds of jacked up trucks that are always sparkling clean?
  • 2011's Homicide Capital of Canada!

Edmonton Sun, Jan. 1, 2012

  • Capital Ex (or Klondike days or whatever it's called) is basically the ginger who writes "butts" as an answer on his test compared to the A+ student that is the Calgary Stampede.
  • http://walkingdeadmonton.tumblr.com
  • We even hate Toronto, Vancouver and Montréal better than you do!

In summary,

Love, Justin

A9d138d0e612f28cd46f9b7057ed715d
Justin is a 22-year-old Flames fan who also happens to be pursuing a double major at the University of Calgary. He has played hockey at high levels, enjoys wearing shorts and tends to drink far too much Grasshopper. Please don't hate him.
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#351 Andy7190
November 16 2013, 10:52PM
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@Johnnydapunk

Good insight there, thanks.

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#352 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 16 2013, 11:30PM
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Hauk15 wrote:

HAHAHAHA FLAMES FANS WHY YOU HEFF TO BE MAD!? ITS ONLY GAME! ONLY A GAME THAT THE OILERS WON! HAHA FLAMES ARE WORSE THAN OILERS AND OILERS ARE PRETTY BAD! NOTHING MAKES ME HAPPIER THAN AN OIL WIN OVER CALGARY

it's clearly an extremely emotional roller coaster for you. my sympathy... you might want to take some time off to find balance and stability again. it is afterall just a game.

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#353 ?
November 16 2013, 11:34PM
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Hauk15 wrote:

Flames fans are so stupid, other than Monahan and BearChief you guys have jack-$hit to work with! Better go for 30th next year so you can get some real talent in Mcdavid. This years draft is pretty weak. CGY outplayed Oilers for 40 mins, a real NHL team would have won 5-0.

A real AHL team would've beat an injured Flames team 8-0. So I guess EDM is an ECHL team?

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#354 Burnward
November 16 2013, 11:35PM
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@Hauk15

We invite you in, then you troll all over. Dang.

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#355 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 16 2013, 11:39PM
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Hauk15 wrote:

Flames fans are so stupid, other than Monahan and BearChief you guys have jack-$hit to work with! Better go for 30th next year so you can get some real talent in Mcdavid. This years draft is pretty weak. CGY outplayed Oilers for 40 mins, a real NHL team would have won 5-0.

you do realize you just insulted your own team, right?

I will be nice tho cause, like McGratton said in post game.. everyone is fighting a battle. God bless you my son.

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#356 flameon47
November 17 2013, 12:41AM
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@Gkpoil

Doesn't seem like the oilers are going to do much to change it I guess they forgot when they finished their rebuild they are suppose to stop tanking, but I guess its an easy mistake to make when your players are so use to tanking. We will probably see the playoffs again before your team even moves from the bottom 10 in league just a few years of rebuilding to go.

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#357 Jonny T
November 17 2013, 12:49AM
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@Hauk15

Oh no. I'm so sorry I said the oilers finished 30th instead of 29th that "one" year...

Hahahahahahahaha.

That was a good chuckle. Thank you for that Hauk.

Hey Hauk...do you remember that time when you guys lost that game?

Ill just put you out of your misery. Oilers are a good team and edmonton is a nice city...

Happy now? Ill give you some gummie bears too.

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#358 Jonny T
November 17 2013, 01:04AM
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@Eddie Shore

Living in Edmonton?

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#359 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 17 2013, 06:36AM
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YFC Prez wrote:

You know you are commenting on both sites right now right. check out flames nation, were also in their territory.

this was pointed out several times but I don't think he ever quite figured it out. It is a pretty complex idea for some, obviously. ;-)

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#360 Kenta
November 17 2013, 09:21AM
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@travis

Well said although Danglenuts likely doesn't crawl out from under his rock until the sun sets.

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#361 moody13
November 17 2013, 09:21AM
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@Dangilitis

Lol dangilitis. Sup Broski? Broseph? Get a coupla brewskis bud and we'll chill with a coupla other bros go snowshoeing or somethin. Is that was broskis do in edmonton these days?

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#362 Brent G.
November 17 2013, 10:08AM
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Having had the unfortunate experience of being moved to Edmonton recently for work I can tell you it is a total sh*t hole in comparison to Calgary; and I was born in Edmonton. Sure u of a is a great school and lister was the best year of my life but really the city is old, tired, ugly and disjointed. There is literally nothing in the downtown core worth speaking about and the night life is subpar.

The people are friendly but I have yet to find someone who is really committed to the city and wouldn't leave tomorrow. Katz owns that monstrucity of a house and doesn't even live there, choosing greener pastures as so many people here would love to have the option of doing. Edmontonians know they are living in Calgarys shadow. Even the 'nice' areas of the city (like south side) are generic, cookie cutter houses that are boring.

I look forward to getting out of this place ASAP and hope to watch the city burn in the review mirror as I go. This city was obviously a mistake from day one and burning it to the ground and starting over seems to be the only likely option at this point.

Calgary definitely has it's problems like all cities do but I can tell you in my return to Edmonton recently it really puts things into perspective of what a great great place it is by comparison

Too much...? :)

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#363 Vowswithin
November 16 2013, 04:56PM
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#eat$hitoilers

https://fbcdn-photos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc3/s720x720/396165_10150496555357293_435481295_n.jpg

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#364 jonahgo
November 16 2013, 06:56PM
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it's hard to complain about hartley with all of this nonsense clogging up the thread. so whatever.

¡¡GO FLAMES!!

¡the oilers are literally the WORST!

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#365 Fish
November 16 2013, 07:38PM
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How's last years first rounder, and future best player in the draft doing?

http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php?pid=155332

Solid pick.

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#366 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 16 2013, 07:48PM
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I bought the new Flames third jersey...

did anyone else yet?

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#367 Ed Wailin'
November 16 2013, 08:44PM
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now that was a lame face punching....

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#368 Ed Wailin'
November 16 2013, 08:48PM
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@Parallex

Conroys wife.

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#369 Harlie
November 16 2013, 09:42PM
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Fricken Chrysler plant, here we come.

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#370 Fresh Mess
November 16 2013, 09:55PM
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Good opportunity here for the oilers to trade away a goallie for good valu

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#371 SmellOfVictory
November 16 2013, 09:56PM
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Reality Check to the head wrote:

If people are going to use the deaths related to the floods in southern Alberta as an excuse to delete posts...maybe the writer of this blog entry shouldn't mention edmonton being the murder capital of Canada in 2011. Hypocrites.

Not an entirely unreasonable point, although there is a level of abstraction between a general statistic and a specific event. That's somewhat important.

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#372 outdoorzguy
November 16 2013, 09:58PM
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Buffalo makes "BOLD MOVES" and has half as many wins in the two games they've played since the changes than we have all season. Eakins is at best an AHL coach (and that's debatable, he had one good year). Get the broom out.

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#373 Ryan Pike
November 16 2013, 09:59PM
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@ChinookArch

Yes. More good shots in.

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#374 Rob F
November 16 2013, 10:01PM
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I thought the Detroit game was rock bottom.....so far this is rock bottom

i keep hearing......you gotta hit rock bottom and admit you have a problem before you get better

oilers need an intervention.......i know

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#375 DCC
November 16 2013, 10:07PM
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Rob F wrote:

I thought the Detroit game was rock bottom.....so far this is rock bottom

i keep hearing......you gotta hit rock bottom and admit you have a problem before you get better

oilers need an intervention.......i know

MacT also said that the Detroit game was rock bottom. Hmmmm...really?

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#376 prendrefeu
November 16 2013, 10:17PM
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The hell are all these Failers doing here? Don't they have their own nation blog to follow the game?

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#377 Drowning in Oil
November 16 2013, 10:19PM
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I take it all back. The Oilers are now a Power House. Mac T and KLowe are mad wizards. Eakins is a strategic general. Go Oil, Go!!

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#378 ?
November 16 2013, 10:19PM
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prendrefeu wrote:

The hell are all these Failers doing here? Don't they have their own nation blog to follow the game?

..... they never learn

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#379 vetinari
November 16 2013, 10:21PM
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The Barons.... er... Oilers have tied it...

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#380 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 16 2013, 10:23PM
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oh! the drama!!!

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#381 Andy7190
November 16 2013, 10:32PM
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YFC Prez wrote:

Dubnyk is playing very well. Has since the briz signing. Just reinforces the notion that he needs to be pushed. Dubnyk is the reason were winning this game.

Give him time!

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#382 Johnnydapunk
November 16 2013, 10:50PM
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Andy7190 wrote:

I'm not sure what Hartley sees in Berra. That's the same goal Joey Mac gave up and ended up in the minors for. Oilers have life.

I know it doesn't look like it and I never thought I would actually defend a Flames player, but Berra has been a monster in goal for years in the Swiss league which I am aware is nowhere near the quality of the NHL but he has some decent seasons there and also was pretty God like in the World Championships which I also know isn't NHL, but his shot stopping ability is usually really good. I think he will get a lot better the more he plays as it does take time for goalies to get used to NHL rink sizes as the angles are different and the smaller ice surface means more bodies all over the place.

I also read that MacDonald didn't show up to camp in the best shape despite the fact that the Flames starting goaltending job was his to lose.

I lived in Europe for quite a while and followed a lot leagues there, hence the geek knowledge of Swiss Hockey and Berra :-)

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#383 Joel
November 16 2013, 10:53PM
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Oilers were lucky they were still in the game after the 1st.

Edmonton did play a strong 3rd period and won against the battle of the AHL teams

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#384 Walter Sobchak
November 16 2013, 11:15PM
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Old Retired Guy (A.K.A. Die-Nasty) wrote:

I'm condoning what he did.

Ya, you can make an argument that at least he showed some life in a listless period for the Oilers, he gave them a huge spark after that it seemed.

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#385 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 16 2013, 11:15PM
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YFC Prez wrote:

You should save that post you just made somewhere and read it in 3 years. It'll likely give you a little chuckle , followed by a angry tearful mental breakdown

thats an idea... :-D

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#386 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 16 2013, 11:18PM
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Stack Pad Save wrote:

All I have left as an Oilers fan right now is that we are better than the fLames and "further" in our rebuild .... it may be sad, it may be petty, but it's the best I have felt about this team since the first game of this f*^king season.

many would argue that the oilers are farther in the rebuild... ;-)

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#387 Jonny T
November 16 2013, 11:24PM
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@Old Retired Guy (A.K.A. Die-Nasty)

It'll be many tough years here, I'm not denying that. It's an embarassing loss for us mainly because we played you guys. If that isn't rock bottom, I don't know what is.

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#388 SmellOfVictory
November 16 2013, 11:35PM
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Hauk15 wrote:

Flames fans are so stupid, other than Monahan and BearChief you guys have jack-$hit to work with! Better go for 30th next year so you can get some real talent in Mcdavid. This years draft is pretty weak. CGY outplayed Oilers for 40 mins, a real NHL team would have won 5-0.

Oh man, I'd love for the Flames to get McDavid. Parade route planned.

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#389 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 16 2013, 11:42PM
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Old Retired Guy (A.K.A. Die-Nasty) wrote:

Calgary is south of Edmonton, and Lethbridge is south of Calgary......so Jeff....while you're down there......

i didnt expect edmonton fans to be so open with tbeir preferences but hey each to their own i wont judge you but i dont swing that way youll have to get one of your edm buddies good luck ;-)

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#390 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 16 2013, 11:58PM
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Old Retired Guy (A.K.A. Die-Nasty) wrote:

I know you come to Edmonton for work.....so here's some advice....up here when a man tells you to blow him....he ain't asking ya for a date..... ;)

thanks for the headsup... your right... guyys up there walk around all day asking other guys to blow them and to be honest, the rest of the world just doesnt know about it so thanks for the info! strange bunch up there but like i said i wont judge.

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#391 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 17 2013, 12:03AM
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Jonny T wrote:

Never did I say the rebuild would be quick. Infact I am one of the people that saw through the consecutive 9th place finishes.

I just think we'll build a better team overall in the long run. That's all.

actually it was prolly me that implied rebuild would be fast n easy... its just so easy to bait the oiler fans cause they are all on or past tbeir last nerve

:-D :-D :-D

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#392 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 17 2013, 12:15AM
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peace out.

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#393 SydScout
November 17 2013, 03:56AM
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Burnward wrote:

Maybe this combined game thread thing isn't such a good idea.

Pretty ridiculous.

If Kent, Justin et al are reading, any chance we could get two threads going for Flames Oilers games. One for analysis, one for trolls.

My brain has atrophied reading pathetic sniping from behind monitors. Reflecting particularly poorly on Oilers, serious vitriol descending into tedium en mass.

Side note - often wondered why Oilers got more comments on their threads. Now understand the content. YYC fans haven't exactly covered themselves in glory either.

Enough.

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#394 seve927
November 17 2013, 09:04AM
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Topsy turvy night in the NHL. Preds beat the Hawks, Panthers beat Avs, Isles beat the Wings, Coyotes beat the Lightning, Devils beat the Penguins and the Oilers beat the Flames. Sometimes you just shake your head and move on.

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#395 DoubleDIon
November 17 2013, 09:07AM
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Edmonton is one of the ugliest cities on the planet. Most cities in 3rd world countries have less garbage laying about.

The only viable businesses in Edmonton are pawn shops where their criminals can unload goods they've stolen from other places and porn shops where the perverts of the city can come together and feel like they aren't the dregs of society because there are other people from Edmonton there.

There, I've contributed to the troll blog... ;)

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#396 FlamesRule
November 17 2013, 10:57AM
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@Dallas Eakins' Magnificent Forehead

He looks good in red...maybe we can swap you back for Smid?

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#397 travis
November 17 2013, 02:47PM
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@Dangilitis

It is. Thank you for finally admiting it. You're the best. I love you.

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#398 Oiler Al
November 17 2013, 03:30PM
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travis wrote:

It is. Thank you for finally admiting it. You're the best. I love you.

You two guys live on Charles street by chance?

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#399 Sal
November 17 2013, 05:53PM
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i suck

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#400 Kevin
November 16 2013, 03:44PM
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Whyowhydidweletomarrago- bestoilerever

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