FGD: Suck It

Justin Azevedo
November 16 2013 03:30PM

Oilers Flames Hockey

Via halifaxdrunk

Originally, this was going to be a sob piece.

Man, was it ever going to be beautiful. Our cities' respective teams are both, in a word, repugnant. Flawed management persists, coaches play favourites, people still buy tickets and no one wins. There's so many reasons why fans of these two teams are alike.

But then I thought that wallowing in sadness wasn't really in the spirit of the Battle of Alberta.

So then I thought I would write about the juxtaposition of the Oilers (who have gone more than two decades without a cup, who have inept upper management leaders that refuse to abdicate their power to people who in no way could do a worse job running the team, who have endured a streak of more than half a decade without the playoffs and who have fans thinking there is no future) against the Flames, (who have gone more than two decades without a cup, who have inept upper management leaders that refuse to abdicate their power to people who in no way could do a worse job running the team than they have, who have endured a streak of more than half a decade without the playoffs and who have fans thinking there is no future) because the two teams are obviously so different. But that was a garbage idea too.

So, let's be honest here - in terms of the hockey game out there tonight, there's not really much to care about because both of these teams suck for so many reasons. Thus, that concludes your game preview.

 

Haha, man, you really did think that was the end, didn't you? Wouldn't be surprised. You are from Edmonton. Hell, I'm surprised you've even made it this far without slumping over and drooling on your keyboard.

 

I came to the conclusion that what I really should be writing about is how f***ing bad Edmonton is.

  • Every single one of your sports teams is garbage. They've all fallen, and they can't get up.
  • Seriously, what the f*ck is "#GOilers"? Goilers sounds like a mutated version of herpes.
  • H and E are really all that's left and E bleeds shot attempts. How awesome is that contract going to look in like, oh, 8 months ago?

Clean Hit

  • What in the blue f*ck is this stupid "squeeee" bullsh*t? "I'm going to make the most annoying noise possible when my favourite overrated player does anything remotely positive because LOL!" Good thing Eberle doesn't do much good often. 

GAZE UPON YOUR GOD, WHO HAS FORSAKEN YOU

  • God Edmonton media is just the worst, too. "Let's run every talented player who doesn't speak english out of town! GRIT! TOUGHNESS! GAZDICCCCCCCCCCCCCCC"

"Oh Yeah He Totally Won That One"

  • I had to drive through Edmonton on my way to Bonnyville this summer. Even passing through the city was terrible. The roads look like the pockmarked face of a 70 year old pack-a-day smoker. Even the "engineering wonder" that is the Anthony Henday is terrible in comparison to Calgary's ring road. Ours is going to be done when yours is even though it's longer (25 kms) and it started like a decade later.
  • I guess living within explosion distance of refineries makes up for the 2 cent difference in gas.
  • Does anyone really even give a sh*t about West Edmonton Mall anymore? All it is is monolithic, ugly and out-of-date.
  • Haha the downtown arena man that's a horrible idea huge waste of money
  • Oh that's still going forward okay then lol
  • Also looks like sperm

This was actually on the city's website. Seriously.

  • Can a city really be called a city of champions if no one ever wins anything?
  • Why are there hundreds of jacked up trucks that are always sparkling clean?
  • 2011's Homicide Capital of Canada!

Edmonton Sun, Jan. 1, 2012

  • Capital Ex (or Klondike days or whatever it's called) is basically the ginger who writes "butts" as an answer on his test compared to the A+ student that is the Calgary Stampede.
  • http://walkingdeadmonton.tumblr.com
  • We even hate Toronto, Vancouver and Montréal better than you do!

In summary,

Love, Justin

A9d138d0e612f28cd46f9b7057ed715d
Justin is a 23-year-old Flames fan who also happens to be pursuing a double major at the University of Calgary. He has played hockey at high levels, enjoys wearing shorts and tends to drink far too much Grasshopper. Please don't hate him.
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#201 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 16 2013, 07:45PM
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Hauk15 wrote:

take it back to calgary bud, why are there so many flames fans on this site? you tools got nothing better to do than troll an oilers site?

Hauk15 are you really this slow or are you faking???

you haven't caught on yet that Oiler and Flames nations share a game day blog, written by the winner of the last game??

my god man calm down have a drink and laugh a little. tonights game really is hillarious when you consider the curcumstances.

and feel free to wear sweat pants with good shoes while your here... want our oiler neighbors to feel at home while in our house. :-D

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#202 ReJ
November 16 2013, 07:52PM
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I hate cowboys

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#203 Clyde
November 16 2013, 08:40PM
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K_Mart wrote:

Really Justin?!? You're making fun of our murder rate? It's tragic and people died, don't go there. Homicide in Edmonton has caused a ton of pain and should be kept separate from sports trash talk.

Agreed

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#204 RKD
November 16 2013, 08:45PM
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Wow, TSN must really have a hard on for Monahan,

The Calgary Flames lead Edmonton Oilers 1-0 in the first period at the Scotiabank Saddledome. Rookie Sean Monahan scored his 14th goal of the season to give the Flames the early lead.

They've anointed him with 14 goals, I bet the Flames wished they knew when he scored those.

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#205 Ryan Pike
November 16 2013, 08:51PM
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Best first period the Flames could've hoped for. After the cluster that was the last few games, much more structured game in all three zones.

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#206 Hauk15
November 16 2013, 09:03PM
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Oilers are so damn bad, I'm on the verge of taking the year off. I can't take it anymore, a loss tonight will kill all my hope.

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#207 Old Retired Guy (A.K.A. Die-Nasty)
November 16 2013, 09:07PM
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beloch wrote:

He has it coming, but McG might need skin-grafts over his knuckles after that 12-rounder!

The Flames were clearly the better team in the 1st, but Dubnyk looked a lot more confident than Berra. The Flames are going to have to keep dominating or Dubnyk might steal this one.

You're kidding right?!

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#208 Old Retired Guy (A.K.A. Die-Nasty)
November 16 2013, 09:09PM
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Jeff In Lethbridge wrote:

Ferrence take exception to a clean hit and punches a guy shaken up after hitting the boards... very Oiler.

Let's hope so!

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#209 Andrew
November 16 2013, 09:13PM
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I'm so glad MacT's answer for this heartless, nutless team is to stay the course. Is it possible Oiler fans will support another 7 yrs of this joke of an organization? Katz/Lowe/MacT seem to think so

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#210 Arik
November 16 2013, 09:16PM
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Ryan Pike wrote:

Best first period the Flames could've hoped for. After the cluster that was the last few games, much more structured game in all three zones.

Cluster of what? Cluster of games because they were close together? Cluster of grapes because grapes are delicious?

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#211 Fresh Mess
November 16 2013, 09:17PM
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Andrew wrote:

I'm so glad MacT's answer for this heartless, nutless team is to stay the course. Is it possible Oiler fans will support another 7 yrs of this joke of an organization? Katz/Lowe/MacT seem to think so

MacLooselips isn't staying the course. His move was to trade away Smid for nothing and make the team weaker.

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#212 Hauk15
November 16 2013, 09:37PM
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Anybody wanna help me burn down Rexall tonight?

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#213 Hockey fan 1976
November 16 2013, 09:38PM
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LMAO. God the Oilers suck!!! Am shutting the TV off. Brutal!!!!

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#214 YFC Prez
November 16 2013, 09:39PM
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Walter Sobchak wrote:

I'm not condoning what Ference did, but when your on a losing streak, playing on a brutal team while trying to keep the team motivated........sometimes you just snap! Ference simply snapped.

No excuses, but emotion is part of the game.

I'm looking forward to seeing the day Taylor hall snaps. That's going to be a show and I think it's coming soon.

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#215 outdoorzguy
November 16 2013, 09:47PM
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Reg Dunlop wrote:

Nice to see 3 phlegms rough up little Nuge with the rest of the oil AWOL. Will an embarrassing shutout loss tonight be enough to get the attention of Katz?

Hard to call them phlegms when their lousy ass is kicking our lousier ass!!

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#216 Reality Check to the head
November 16 2013, 09:48PM
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If people are going to use the deaths related to the floods in southern Alberta as an excuse to delete posts...maybe the writer of this blog entry shouldn't mention edmonton being the murder capital of Canada in 2011. Hypocrites.

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#217 Sizzler
November 16 2013, 09:56PM
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Note to the oilers management.....Drafting kids and adding AHL or KHL defensemen is not called REBUILD. Based on Mact's latest comments "toughest challenge is not to do anything extreme" I think they still have no idea of how to put together a team.

Klowe should be fired because he has been supervising this lack of rebuild.

Eakins recognized in the off season that " he thinks smyth has a few years left"....that tells me he doesnt know whats required to play in the big show.

Rookie GM + Rookie coach + Raw Player.....sounds like an AHL setting.

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#218 SmellOfVictory
November 16 2013, 09:56PM
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Reality Check to the head wrote:

If people are going to use the deaths related to the floods in southern Alberta as an excuse to delete posts...maybe the writer of this blog entry shouldn't mention edmonton being the murder capital of Canada in 2011. Hypocrites.

Not an entirely unreasonable point, although there is a level of abstraction between a general statistic and a specific event. That's somewhat important.

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#219 Johnnydapunk
November 16 2013, 10:25PM
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Is Berra Dubnyk in disguise??

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#220 Andy7190
November 16 2013, 10:35PM
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Clyde wrote:

We got this guy for Jbo who many are predicting makes the Olympic team. Hope poirier turns into something

He could be a #1, but I'm not one of these people in love with giant goalies. Like Dubnyk.

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#221 Harlie
November 16 2013, 10:46PM
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HAHA the fLames are worse than us.

Chiclet pickers.

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#222 Andy7190
November 16 2013, 10:49PM
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@Jeff In Lethbridge

Unless they find themselves still doing that 8 years later. Losing can be hard to stop, after it takes to long a hold. Just ask the Islanders or the Oilers.

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#223 YFC Prez
November 16 2013, 10:50PM
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@Jeff In Lethbridge

You should save that post you just made somewhere and read it in 3 years. It'll likely give you a little chuckle , followed by a angry tearful mental breakdown

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#224 Joel
November 16 2013, 10:53PM
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Oilers were lucky they were still in the game after the 1st.

Edmonton did play a strong 3rd period and won against the battle of the AHL teams

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#225 admiralmark
November 16 2013, 11:01PM
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Thanks to Oilersnation twitter tonight and the suggestion we should play Benny Hills theme music to watch the game to make it more enjoyable.

http://youtu.be/JcNhDstL4-k

4 unanswered goals was the result...

LOL

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#226 Gkpoil
November 16 2013, 11:13PM
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JonnyT wrote:

..Sammy. Be honest with yourself. You won 1 game. 1. Due two incredibly lucky goals. Calm down. The oilers are still a very very below average hockey club. We outshot and outchanced you guys. On top of that, we went to the dirty areas to score unlike you guys. We're also in year 1 of rebuilding. Unlike you guys. I'd say I like my team better and evidently our flamers and I will not "suck it".

Year 1 of your rebuild? you're right, you have been a perennial contender since 2004. Just because your GM won't admit it's a 'rebuild' until now doesn't mean the Flames are going to make the playoffs any sooner than the oil.

And yes, if you cheer for the Flamers you will "suck it", it just may take a decade before you'll admit it

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#227 Walter Sobchak
November 16 2013, 11:15PM
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Old Retired Guy (A.K.A. Die-Nasty) wrote:

I'm condoning what he did.

Ya, you can make an argument that at least he showed some life in a listless period for the Oilers, he gave them a huge spark after that it seemed.

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#228 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 16 2013, 11:18PM
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Stack Pad Save wrote:

All I have left as an Oilers fan right now is that we are better than the fLames and "further" in our rebuild .... it may be sad, it may be petty, but it's the best I have felt about this team since the first game of this f*^king season.

many would argue that the oilers are farther in the rebuild... ;-)

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#229 Hauk15
November 16 2013, 11:35PM
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Jeff In Lethbridge wrote:

it's clearly an extremely emotional roller coaster for you. my sympathy... you might want to take some time off to find balance and stability again. it is afterall just a game.

The Oilers are my heroin, sometimes its good stuff (tonight when we beat your $hit team), but most of the time it makes me want to jump off a bridge. fLAMES suck! get used to it.

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#230 Burnward
November 16 2013, 11:35PM
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@Hauk15

We invite you in, then you troll all over. Dang.

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#231 Jonny T
November 16 2013, 11:36PM
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@Hauk15

I like this. I like you.

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#232 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 16 2013, 11:58PM
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Old Retired Guy (A.K.A. Die-Nasty) wrote:

I know you come to Edmonton for work.....so here's some advice....up here when a man tells you to blow him....he ain't asking ya for a date..... ;)

thanks for the headsup... your right... guyys up there walk around all day asking other guys to blow them and to be honest, the rest of the world just doesnt know about it so thanks for the info! strange bunch up there but like i said i wont judge.

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#233 flameon47
November 17 2013, 12:01AM
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@Hauk15

Yes because tanking for talent worked out sooooo well for you guys right? After all these first overall picks and tanking for your rebuild I guess you guys are finally in line for a playoff appearance right? Wait, what? Your 29th place in the league? Dat doesn't seem right for all the tanking you did for talent you must be higher in the ranks than that. Oh wait I forgot tanking for first overall picks don't get you into the playoffs. I thought you guys were gonna make the playoffs the year but so far it looks grim for you guys. Atleast we can learn from your teams mistakes and do our rebuild right way and maybe by the time we are finished with our rebuild you guys might be closer to playoff spot. But you should really try lowering your expectations because sure you won tonight by 2 goals even thought you were outplayed like you said, but we are just starting our rebuild and you guys are suppose to be finished (main word being suppose) your rebuild by now, so I guess when we finish ours we will be able to really walk over you guys. Skate over you guys I guess would be more correct...

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#234 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 17 2013, 12:03AM
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Jonny T wrote:

Never did I say the rebuild would be quick. Infact I am one of the people that saw through the consecutive 9th place finishes.

I just think we'll build a better team overall in the long run. That's all.

actually it was prolly me that implied rebuild would be fast n easy... its just so easy to bait the oiler fans cause they are all on or past tbeir last nerve

:-D :-D :-D

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#235 Old Retired Guy (A.K.A. Die-Nasty)
November 17 2013, 12:09AM
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Jeff In Lethbridge wrote:

actually it was prolly me that implied rebuild would be fast n easy... its just so easy to bait the oiler fans cause they are all on or past tbeir last nerve

:-D :-D :-D

Fast and Easy?.........do you have a pretty face Jeff?

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#236 Hauk15
November 17 2013, 12:22AM
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Jonny T wrote:

Hauk15

Sigh.

You've finished deadlast or next to it 4 years in a row. You didn't develop these guys into incredible players on offence. They literally fell into your lap. That tends to happen when you've been a terrible team.

Please. You have nothing to proud about.

Of course our prospects don't compare right now. Could you please give us some time to finish last for a couple of years? Jeez.

my team made your team look like a bunch of plugs tonight, i'm proud. Off you go now flamer. bring your hopes and dreams of Calgary being better than Edmonton with you. 3 years in a row by the way, we got 60 games to go, Edmonton finishes 20th this year. Book it.

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#237 Zarny
November 17 2013, 12:47AM
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Haha...nice W. Probably a game they shouldn't have won. Nice to see the other G let in a few softies.

Hopefully the Oil can get some confidence and build off of this.

Flames fans should buckle up for a long ride. They've got even less than the Oilers had when they started their rebuild.

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#238 DrDave
November 17 2013, 02:00AM
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Suck it indeed! GOILERS!!!!

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#239 Burnward
November 17 2013, 02:36AM
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Maybe this combined game thread thing isn't such a good idea.

Pretty ridiculous.

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#240 Naky
November 17 2013, 03:28AM
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Blah blah blah your city sucks blah blah blah your team sucks blah blah blah you haven't won anything blah blah blah.

Pretty much what the comments section reads for either team's fans.

What a waste of time.

Instead, the two fan bases should be united in their realization that their team sucks and that they need to start holding their management and ownership responsible for the on-ice product by not supporting it so blindly.

But, hey, what is this common sense and logic I speak of? Allow me to write a pointless tirade of what section of which city sucks more than the others' instead.

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#241 Kenta
November 17 2013, 09:21AM
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@travis

Well said although Danglenuts likely doesn't crawl out from under his rock until the sun sets.

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#242 Loweblows
November 17 2013, 05:37PM
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TonyT wrote:

Hahaha this is pretty funny. I'm a diehard Edmontonian but even I can admit Calgary is nicer. The funny part of this topic was that in as much as people would leave Edmonton if they could, the same is true for Calgariy. It's nicer but that's not saying much... A lady at Costco this summer, asked me if I wanted to donate to Red Cross for flood victims. I thought she meant India (where they had a massive death toll) but then she said Calgary. I burst out laughing, I hope the rivers crest again next year you hick f*cks!

Actually having lived in both cities i found both have their upsides and downsides- calgary has warmer winters and edmonton has nicer summers-edmonton has a nicer river valley, calgary has mountain views, edmonton is richer in arts, calgary has the stampede-people who say one city is better than the other probably have obviously not experienced the best that each city can offer-im sorry but driving a ring road doesnt teach you squat about the city-and finally edmonton has 5 stanleys and calgary has 1 and edmonton will get another before calgary so eat sh@$ edmonton haters.

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#243 Sal
November 17 2013, 05:53PM
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i suck

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#244 Lowetide
November 16 2013, 03:36PM
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Can someone tweet this to the Hockey Gods?

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#245 PapaMike
November 16 2013, 03:56PM
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living within explosion distance of refineries makes up for the 2 cent difference in gas

That made me laugh out loud.

So, let's be honest here - in terms of the hockey game out there tonight, there's not really much to care about because both of these teams suck for so many reasons.

THIS!!!!

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#246 Admiralmark
November 16 2013, 03:57PM
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Oh yah?! Well we got Kevin Lowe! So there... Ha ha haaaaaaaarghh (*runs away spastically flaily his arms and launches himself off a rocky cliff*)

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#247 Jim
November 16 2013, 04:00PM
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Imagine if Kevin Lowe was fired and had to go look for a job in the NHL.

What skills do you have ? I know winning

What is your record with the Oilers? and not when you were a player

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#248 I Remember the Orange Jerseys
November 16 2013, 04:05PM
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Clash of the Titan(ic)s.

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#249 **
November 16 2013, 04:12PM
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Oilers and Flames should battle it Old School:

Pick the best fighter on each team, have at it, and whoever is left standing his team wins.

It would be more entertaining and it would allow me to go about my day without wasting that much time watching three hours of NHL hockey bloopers.

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#250 Zamboni Driver
November 16 2013, 04:14PM
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@Oilcruzer

Okay I'm an Oilers fan too.

But if you are suggesting that the 'braintrust' (used loosely) is CHOOSING NOT TO DO ANYTHING about the mess they've created.

As in....they're doing this on purpose??!!

Well if that's so, it's a helluva worse than any of us ever imagined.

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