FGD: Suck It

Justin Azevedo
November 16 2013 03:30PM

Oilers Flames Hockey

Via halifaxdrunk

Originally, this was going to be a sob piece.

Man, was it ever going to be beautiful. Our cities' respective teams are both, in a word, repugnant. Flawed management persists, coaches play favourites, people still buy tickets and no one wins. There's so many reasons why fans of these two teams are alike.

But then I thought that wallowing in sadness wasn't really in the spirit of the Battle of Alberta.

So then I thought I would write about the juxtaposition of the Oilers (who have gone more than two decades without a cup, who have inept upper management leaders that refuse to abdicate their power to people who in no way could do a worse job running the team, who have endured a streak of more than half a decade without the playoffs and who have fans thinking there is no future) against the Flames, (who have gone more than two decades without a cup, who have inept upper management leaders that refuse to abdicate their power to people who in no way could do a worse job running the team than they have, who have endured a streak of more than half a decade without the playoffs and who have fans thinking there is no future) because the two teams are obviously so different. But that was a garbage idea too.

So, let's be honest here - in terms of the hockey game out there tonight, there's not really much to care about because both of these teams suck for so many reasons. Thus, that concludes your game preview.

 

Haha, man, you really did think that was the end, didn't you? Wouldn't be surprised. You are from Edmonton. Hell, I'm surprised you've even made it this far without slumping over and drooling on your keyboard.

 

I came to the conclusion that what I really should be writing about is how f***ing bad Edmonton is.

  • Every single one of your sports teams is garbage. They've all fallen, and they can't get up.
  • Seriously, what the f*ck is "#GOilers"? Goilers sounds like a mutated version of herpes.
  • H and E are really all that's left and E bleeds shot attempts. How awesome is that contract going to look in like, oh, 8 months ago?

Clean Hit

  • What in the blue f*ck is this stupid "squeeee" bullsh*t? "I'm going to make the most annoying noise possible when my favourite overrated player does anything remotely positive because LOL!" Good thing Eberle doesn't do much good often. 

GAZE UPON YOUR GOD, WHO HAS FORSAKEN YOU

  • God Edmonton media is just the worst, too. "Let's run every talented player who doesn't speak english out of town! GRIT! TOUGHNESS! GAZDICCCCCCCCCCCCCCC"

"Oh Yeah He Totally Won That One"

  • I had to drive through Edmonton on my way to Bonnyville this summer. Even passing through the city was terrible. The roads look like the pockmarked face of a 70 year old pack-a-day smoker. Even the "engineering wonder" that is the Anthony Henday is terrible in comparison to Calgary's ring road. Ours is going to be done when yours is even though it's longer (25 kms) and it started like a decade later.
  • I guess living within explosion distance of refineries makes up for the 2 cent difference in gas.
  • Does anyone really even give a sh*t about West Edmonton Mall anymore? All it is is monolithic, ugly and out-of-date.
  • Haha the downtown arena man that's a horrible idea huge waste of money
  • Oh that's still going forward okay then lol
  • Also looks like sperm

This was actually on the city's website. Seriously.

  • Can a city really be called a city of champions if no one ever wins anything?
  • Why are there hundreds of jacked up trucks that are always sparkling clean?
  • 2011's Homicide Capital of Canada!

Edmonton Sun, Jan. 1, 2012

  • Capital Ex (or Klondike days or whatever it's called) is basically the ginger who writes "butts" as an answer on his test compared to the A+ student that is the Calgary Stampede.
  • http://walkingdeadmonton.tumblr.com
  • We even hate Toronto, Vancouver and Montréal better than you do!

In summary,

Love, Justin

A9d138d0e612f28cd46f9b7057ed715d
Justin is a 23-year-old Flames fan who also happens to be pursuing a double major at the University of Calgary. He has played hockey at high levels, enjoys wearing shorts and tends to drink far too much Grasshopper. Please don't hate him.
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#251 **
November 16 2013, 04:31PM
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Justin Azevedo wrote:

man i'm getting #Pwned

got your meds yet son?

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#252 Ryan Pike
November 16 2013, 04:34PM
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Sounding like Berra and Dubnyk get the starts. Smith and Bouma back in for Calgary in place of O'Brien and Jackman.

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#253 YFC Prez
November 16 2013, 04:40PM
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dougtheslug wrote:

Here's what's really tragic.

This province is the hockey capital of the world. We produce hockey players like Vancouver produces street arsonists and Toronto produces ludicrous mayors. Do you realize that there are more than twice as many Alberta born players in the NHL than there are Russian born players? And Russia has 100 times the population, and twice as much snow.

Alberta has produced Hart, Norris, and Vezina trophy winners. Alberta born players captain three NHL teams. The next big thing in hockey, 15 year old Tyler Benson, is from Alberta. He shattered the Alberta Bantam scoring record last year. The record he broke belonged to Joffrey Lupul. And whose record did Lupul break? Jerome Inginla's. This province breeds excellence in hockey.

In the 1980's our professional teams reflected that. For eight (that is EIGHT!) straight years an Alberta team was in the Stanley Cup final, winning 6 times. Alberta owned the NHL in the 1980's. Alberta was called Death Valley for eastern teams making their swing through here.

We have the most loyal, rabid, knowledgable hockey fans in the NHL. And that is because most of us have played the game, coached our kids, got up at 5:30 to clear the outdoor rinks or to drive to 6 a.m. practices. We live, breathe and die for the game.

The Battle of Alberta used to mean something. It used to mean the battle for supremacy of the NHL. Which used to mean, when Edmonton played Calgary back in the 1980's, it was to determine who was the best Hockey Club in the world. Yes. The World.

So now, as we prepare for tonight's tilt, between two bottom feeders with nothing at stake but the title of least worst "professional"team in the NHL, it makes me mad and sad. Ignorance, arrogance, cronyism, breathtaking stupidity, yeah they're all to blame for our plight. We've been over it all so many times I can't bear to rehash the reasons for this disgrace.

I just think it didn't have to be this way. It shouldn't be like this. None of us, North and South, Flame or Oiler, deserve this.

Just wanted to reply to this to bring it to the new page. Mega props!

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#254 Toro
November 16 2013, 06:13PM
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Justin Azevedo is a GOOF!

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#255 Max Powers - Team HME Evans
November 16 2013, 06:25PM
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So you guys are letting trolls write articles now?

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#256 YFC Prez
November 16 2013, 06:29PM
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Virtual_Xi wrote:

I liked the GDB! that road comment was hella funny, I drive those streets too, HA! "pockmarked face of a 70 year old pack-a-day smoker!" so true. Although I will say this, at least we can drive the speed limit or more during rush our on all our roads, vs the 10km/hr deerfoot

back to hockey, this is going to be an awful game, tune out folks! make your 2.5 hours actually count by drinking wine in the gutter.

At least if the game really stinks the GSP fight is tonight. Sports bar is only 4 blocks from my house

#Back-up plan

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#257 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 16 2013, 06:53PM
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Dan the Man wrote:

The best you can come up with is insulting our roads? Seriously? That's pretty weak.

actually the roads in Edmonton are bad to an Epic degree. this is sad truth.

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#258 MessyEH!
November 16 2013, 07:17PM
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dougtheslug wrote:

Here's what's really tragic.

This province is the hockey capital of the world. We produce hockey players like Vancouver produces street arsonists and Toronto produces ludicrous mayors. Do you realize that there are more than twice as many Alberta born players in the NHL than there are Russian born players? And Russia has 100 times the population, and twice as much snow.

Alberta has produced Hart, Norris, and Vezina trophy winners. Alberta born players captain three NHL teams. The next big thing in hockey, 15 year old Tyler Benson, is from Alberta. He shattered the Alberta Bantam scoring record last year. The record he broke belonged to Joffrey Lupul. And whose record did Lupul break? Jerome Inginla's. This province breeds excellence in hockey.

In the 1980's our professional teams reflected that. For eight (that is EIGHT!) straight years an Alberta team was in the Stanley Cup final, winning 6 times. Alberta owned the NHL in the 1980's. Alberta was called Death Valley for eastern teams making their swing through here.

We have the most loyal, rabid, knowledgable hockey fans in the NHL. And that is because most of us have played the game, coached our kids, got up at 5:30 to clear the outdoor rinks or to drive to 6 a.m. practices. We live, breathe and die for the game.

The Battle of Alberta used to mean something. It used to mean the battle for supremacy of the NHL. Which used to mean, when Edmonton played Calgary back in the 1980's, it was to determine who was the best Hockey Club in the world. Yes. The World.

So now, as we prepare for tonight's tilt, between two bottom feeders with nothing at stake but the title of least worst "professional"team in the NHL, it makes me mad and sad. Ignorance, arrogance, cronyism, breathtaking stupidity, yeah they're all to blame for our plight. We've been over it all so many times I can't bear to rehash the reasons for this disgrace.

I just think it didn't have to be this way. It shouldn't be like this. None of us, North and South, Flame or Oiler, deserve this.

Hemmered on the Nails head good Sir.

This may have been the best comment ever.

I am going to find a Flames fan to hug.

Then pull the jersey over her head.

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#259 MessyEH!
November 16 2013, 07:19PM
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MessyEH! wrote:

Hemmered on the Nails head good Sir.

This may have been the best comment ever.

I am going to find a Flames fan to hug.

Then pull the jersey over her head.

My mom will be so pissed.

She lovez her flames Jersey

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#260 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 16 2013, 07:26PM
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Al Low wrote:

Why is this dumbass even writing on this blog? I come here to read and interact with people about hockey, specifically the Oilers. I live in Calgary but cheer for Edmonton. This piece was inappropriate and on behalf of Calgarians, I apologize to the wonderful people of Edmonton on behalf of this immature fool.

hahahaha

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#261 Todd
November 16 2013, 07:41PM
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Hauk15 wrote:

take it back to calgary bud, why are there so many flames fans on this site? you tools got nothing better to do than troll an oilers site?

It's cross posted on both sites Einstein

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#262 The Last Big Bear
November 16 2013, 07:41PM
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Should have just left it at "Suck It".

That's a great start for a preview of a game against the Oilers.

Unfortunately it was mostly downhill after that.

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#263 Kpat99
November 16 2013, 07:44PM
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dougtheslug wrote:

Here's what's really tragic.

This province is the hockey capital of the world. We produce hockey players like Vancouver produces street arsonists and Toronto produces ludicrous mayors. Do you realize that there are more than twice as many Alberta born players in the NHL than there are Russian born players? And Russia has 100 times the population, and twice as much snow.

Alberta has produced Hart, Norris, and Vezina trophy winners. Alberta born players captain three NHL teams. The next big thing in hockey, 15 year old Tyler Benson, is from Alberta. He shattered the Alberta Bantam scoring record last year. The record he broke belonged to Joffrey Lupul. And whose record did Lupul break? Jerome Inginla's. This province breeds excellence in hockey.

In the 1980's our professional teams reflected that. For eight (that is EIGHT!) straight years an Alberta team was in the Stanley Cup final, winning 6 times. Alberta owned the NHL in the 1980's. Alberta was called Death Valley for eastern teams making their swing through here.

We have the most loyal, rabid, knowledgable hockey fans in the NHL. And that is because most of us have played the game, coached our kids, got up at 5:30 to clear the outdoor rinks or to drive to 6 a.m. practices. We live, breathe and die for the game.

The Battle of Alberta used to mean something. It used to mean the battle for supremacy of the NHL. Which used to mean, when Edmonton played Calgary back in the 1980's, it was to determine who was the best Hockey Club in the world. Yes. The World.

So now, as we prepare for tonight's tilt, between two bottom feeders with nothing at stake but the title of least worst "professional"team in the NHL, it makes me mad and sad. Ignorance, arrogance, cronyism, breathtaking stupidity, yeah they're all to blame for our plight. We've been over it all so many times I can't bear to rehash the reasons for this disgrace.

I just think it didn't have to be this way. It shouldn't be like this. None of us, North and South, Flame or Oiler, deserve this.

I want to give this a million props.

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#264 David S
November 16 2013, 07:52PM
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Jeff In Lethbridge wrote:

I bought the new Flames third jersey...

did anyone else yet?

http://www.tattoostime.com/images/236/sucker-forehead-tattoo.jpg

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#265 Walter Sobchak
November 16 2013, 08:09PM
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dougtheslug wrote:

Here's what's really tragic.

This province is the hockey capital of the world. We produce hockey players like Vancouver produces street arsonists and Toronto produces ludicrous mayors. Do you realize that there are more than twice as many Alberta born players in the NHL than there are Russian born players? And Russia has 100 times the population, and twice as much snow.

Alberta has produced Hart, Norris, and Vezina trophy winners. Alberta born players captain three NHL teams. The next big thing in hockey, 15 year old Tyler Benson, is from Alberta. He shattered the Alberta Bantam scoring record last year. The record he broke belonged to Joffrey Lupul. And whose record did Lupul break? Jerome Inginla's. This province breeds excellence in hockey.

In the 1980's our professional teams reflected that. For eight (that is EIGHT!) straight years an Alberta team was in the Stanley Cup final, winning 6 times. Alberta owned the NHL in the 1980's. Alberta was called Death Valley for eastern teams making their swing through here.

We have the most loyal, rabid, knowledgable hockey fans in the NHL. And that is because most of us have played the game, coached our kids, got up at 5:30 to clear the outdoor rinks or to drive to 6 a.m. practices. We live, breathe and die for the game.

The Battle of Alberta used to mean something. It used to mean the battle for supremacy of the NHL. Which used to mean, when Edmonton played Calgary back in the 1980's, it was to determine who was the best Hockey Club in the world. Yes. The World.

So now, as we prepare for tonight's tilt, between two bottom feeders with nothing at stake but the title of least worst "professional"team in the NHL, it makes me mad and sad. Ignorance, arrogance, cronyism, breathtaking stupidity, yeah they're all to blame for our plight. We've been over it all so many times I can't bear to rehash the reasons for this disgrace.

I just think it didn't have to be this way. It shouldn't be like this. None of us, North and South, Flame or Oiler, deserve this.

Well said Doug.

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#266 YFC Prez
November 16 2013, 08:18PM
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Smid just doesn't look right in that red sweater.

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#267 Parallex
November 16 2013, 08:45PM
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RKD wrote:

No, I heard the rumour was Dion was sleeping with Reg's wife and that's why Sutter traded him. The same guy told me Dion was wearing a ton of makeup during the presser because Iggy came into the dressing room and gave Dion a black eye. Not sure I buy it.

He must get around... because the rumor I heard was Conroy's wife (who has definite "Damn!" quality to her)... of course I don't believe any of that and just think that Regehr and Phaneaf just didn't get along in general.

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#268 YFC Prez
November 16 2013, 08:48PM
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Ed Wailin' wrote:

now that was a lame face punching....

Said the teeth stuck on ferrence's knuckles

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#269 Slats
November 16 2013, 09:09PM
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Justin is the double major so you can be idiot about 3 thiings including hockey.

Time to go back to the FN site for a peppy 20 post banter about how they should have left Monaghan back in junior ...

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#270 outdoorzguy
November 16 2013, 09:13PM
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Take those microphones off the referees. They never work most of the time and we Canadians understand DO know what's happening. The NFL doesn't work in arenas!!

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#271 Hauk15
November 16 2013, 09:15PM
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Sorry for the spam comments, my computer is a dumb ass. Also what did Ference do? I missed it unfortunately...

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#272 Randaman
November 16 2013, 09:18PM
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outdoorzguy wrote:

Take those microphones off the referees. They never work most of the time and we Canadians understand DO know what's happening. The NFL doesn't work in arenas!!

Can someone also take the microphone away from Hrudy? What a moron.

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#273 Reg Dunlop
November 16 2013, 09:40PM
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Nice to see 3 phlegms rough up little Nuge with the rest of the oil AWOL. Will an embarrassing shutout loss tonight be enough to get the attention of Katz?

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#274 Harlie
November 16 2013, 09:42PM
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Fricken Chrysler plant, here we come.

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#275 Hauk15
November 16 2013, 09:42PM
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How much does Kevin Lowe get paid? Seriously Katz nut up your team is huge joke.

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#276 Alsker
November 16 2013, 09:43PM
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Holy f^ck we make any team look good. Just got in so haven't endured this sh*tshow yet. 2 minutes and see what half dozens giveaways and woohoo a goal for the fLames. Why the f*ck is Arco sitting again? I've been against Eakins being tossed but now screw it...Fire Lowe..Fire Eakins..Fire the management team..

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#277 YFC Prez
November 16 2013, 09:45PM
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Oilers are losing to a team with half the talent and twice the work ethic. Get the coaches organized and friggin work like the flames. The proof is in the pudding.

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#278 Serious Gord
November 16 2013, 09:48PM
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Alsker wrote:

Holy f^ck we make any team look good. Just got in so haven't endured this sh*tshow yet. 2 minutes and see what half dozens giveaways and woohoo a goal for the fLames. Why the f*ck is Arco sitting again? I've been against Eakins being tossed but now screw it...Fire Lowe..Fire Eakins..Fire the management team..

Arco. Bella!! Couldn't get into cgy in time - lots of flight delays due to weather.

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#279 Reg Dunlop
November 16 2013, 09:51PM
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Making random changes should work out occasionally. Random decisions sometimes are right. It takes a real talent to have every decision backfire and every change prove disastrous. Eakins is like an anti-savant.

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#280 YFC Prez
November 16 2013, 09:52PM
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@Jeff In Lethbridge

Pile away Jeff. Many fans have given up on this team getting better for a sustained period untill Lowe is gone. Ball is in Katz corner. At this point he is the only one who can make the changes that will make a difference.

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#281 YFC Prez
November 16 2013, 09:56PM
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Alsker wrote:

Thx, thought it was just a brainfart by management...

Total brainfart. Mac t sends down one of his most consistent players to make room for a d man who doesn't even play a game. Then calls him back up the next game. How many flights did arco take for no reason whatsoever.

Most businesses don't have the profit margin to be that careless with money. Must be nice

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#282 ChinookArch
November 16 2013, 09:57PM
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I can't watch the game. Only one question, did McGrattan win the fight?

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#283 Serious Gord
November 16 2013, 09:59PM
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Khabibolin get injured playing for Chicago tonight.

Quelle surprise.

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#284 Rob F
November 16 2013, 10:01PM
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I thought the Detroit game was rock bottom.....so far this is rock bottom

i keep hearing......you gotta hit rock bottom and admit you have a problem before you get better

oilers need an intervention.......i know

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#285 Ryan Pike
November 16 2013, 10:01PM
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Bold moves and smart moves are rarely the same moves.

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#286 outdoorzguy
November 16 2013, 10:10PM
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RexHolez wrote:

Talk about raising the kids hopes, making him rush to make the game, fly all night and then, in great Oiler fashion shatter all hope with mismanagement

It's the Oiler way!!

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#287 Clyde
November 16 2013, 10:32PM
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Andy7190 wrote:

I'm not sure what Hartley sees in Berra. That's the same goal Joey Mac gave up and he ended up in the minors for it. Oilers have life.

We got this guy for Jbo who many are predicting makes the Olympic team. Hope poirier turns into something

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#288 Rod from Viking
November 16 2013, 10:41PM
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YFC Prez wrote:

Dubnyk is playing very well. Has since the briz signing. Just reinforces the notion that he needs to be pushed. Dubnyk is the reason were winning this game.

Exactly, having your buddy for the back up was never a good idea, the team has been playing better in front of him as well. 4-2 Oil, the kind of 3rd period I have been hoping for, the Oil have played better since Gazdic took on McGratton, I thought that could have went bad and he did very well.

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#289 Stack Pad Save
November 16 2013, 10:43PM
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Potter, zero ice time in the third. Enough of the negative, time to celebrate! Love it when the RNH-Hall-Eberle line decides to take over a game and dominate. Yak had a good jump in his game, starting to use his teamates more. Belove and Petry both had excellent third periods.

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#290 Stack Pad Save
November 16 2013, 10:46PM
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@Sammy

looking forward to the next Flames vs Oilers OGD blog post

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#291 Sammy
November 16 2013, 10:46PM
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BTW, I know your from Calgary so I'll spell it out for you Justin. You and your Flamers can suck it. Your welcome!

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#292 Drowning in Oil
November 16 2013, 10:47PM
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YFC Prez wrote:

My ears hurt

I know, I know. I was screaming so I had to put it in caps!! I am that emotional with this bloody team!!

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#293 Stack Pad Save
November 16 2013, 10:48PM
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Jeff In Lethbridge wrote:

lets see... Flames are rebuilding, expected to be bad but have looked very good in spite of mising its top players all year... get beat by a geam that is sposed to be past the rebuild and challenging for playoffs as they get better.. and they look like crap...

hahaha im actually lving the season so far as flames are playing a good style of hockey and fun to watch with exception of a couple games. Top pick at the xraft, a couple vets traded for first and second rounder drafts and prospects johny hockey coming up the pike and 30+ million in cap space... things xont look so bad. Id say rebuilding is fun and eazy.

fLames suck and I hope they stock pile for this weak draft and end up in an eternal rebuild of hell ... oh wait dont worry Brian Burke and Feaster will trade their first overall draft pick for Joffrey Lupul at the deadline.

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#294 Johnnydapunk
November 16 2013, 10:50PM
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Andy7190 wrote:

I'm not sure what Hartley sees in Berra. That's the same goal Joey Mac gave up and ended up in the minors for. Oilers have life.

I know it doesn't look like it and I never thought I would actually defend a Flames player, but Berra has been a monster in goal for years in the Swiss league which I am aware is nowhere near the quality of the NHL but he has some decent seasons there and also was pretty God like in the World Championships which I also know isn't NHL, but his shot stopping ability is usually really good. I think he will get a lot better the more he plays as it does take time for goalies to get used to NHL rink sizes as the angles are different and the smaller ice surface means more bodies all over the place.

I also read that MacDonald didn't show up to camp in the best shape despite the fact that the Flames starting goaltending job was his to lose.

I lived in Europe for quite a while and followed a lot leagues there, hence the geek knowledge of Swiss Hockey and Berra :-)

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#295 Stack Pad Save
November 16 2013, 10:57PM
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@Jeff In Lethbridge

I don't really need a "zinger" to laugh over the internet like a girl (teehehhe), today I just get to point at the score board and smile.

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#296 Tim
November 16 2013, 10:58PM
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GSP

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#297 Old Retired Guy (A.K.A. Die-Nasty)
November 16 2013, 10:58PM
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Walter Sobchak wrote:

I'm not condoning what Ference did, but when your on a losing streak, playing on a brutal team while trying to keep the team motivated........sometimes you just snap! Ference simply snapped.

No excuses, but emotion is part of the game.

I'm condoning what he did.

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#298 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 16 2013, 11:15PM
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YFC Prez wrote:

You should save that post you just made somewhere and read it in 3 years. It'll likely give you a little chuckle , followed by a angry tearful mental breakdown

thats an idea... :-D

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#299 Old Retired Guy (A.K.A. Die-Nasty)
November 16 2013, 11:18PM
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Jonny T wrote:

I did watch the game. We outplayed you. Plain and simple. Sure you had your cycle game going in the third period, which increases your puck possesion rate, but it is not the reason you guys won. We kept your shots mostly to the outside and kept you in the perimeter. And only the oilers would be proud of finally establishing a good forecheck, considering every other team in the league does this on a regular basis.

Our goalie gave up two stupid goals. That's what this came down to. Oh and thank Dubnyk.

Spoken like a fan of a rebuilding team....trust us....we know!

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#300 Old Retired Guy (A.K.A. Die-Nasty)
November 16 2013, 11:37PM
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@Jeff In Lethbridge

Calgary is south of Edmonton, and Lethbridge is south of Calgary......so Jeff....while you're down there......

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