FGD: Suck It

Justin Azevedo
November 16 2013 03:30PM

Oilers Flames Hockey

Via halifaxdrunk

Originally, this was going to be a sob piece.

Man, was it ever going to be beautiful. Our cities' respective teams are both, in a word, repugnant. Flawed management persists, coaches play favourites, people still buy tickets and no one wins. There's so many reasons why fans of these two teams are alike.

But then I thought that wallowing in sadness wasn't really in the spirit of the Battle of Alberta.

So then I thought I would write about the juxtaposition of the Oilers (who have gone more than two decades without a cup, who have inept upper management leaders that refuse to abdicate their power to people who in no way could do a worse job running the team, who have endured a streak of more than half a decade without the playoffs and who have fans thinking there is no future) against the Flames, (who have gone more than two decades without a cup, who have inept upper management leaders that refuse to abdicate their power to people who in no way could do a worse job running the team than they have, who have endured a streak of more than half a decade without the playoffs and who have fans thinking there is no future) because the two teams are obviously so different. But that was a garbage idea too.

So, let's be honest here - in terms of the hockey game out there tonight, there's not really much to care about because both of these teams suck for so many reasons. Thus, that concludes your game preview.

 

Haha, man, you really did think that was the end, didn't you? Wouldn't be surprised. You are from Edmonton. Hell, I'm surprised you've even made it this far without slumping over and drooling on your keyboard.

 

I came to the conclusion that what I really should be writing about is how f***ing bad Edmonton is.

  • Every single one of your sports teams is garbage. They've all fallen, and they can't get up.
  • Seriously, what the f*ck is "#GOilers"? Goilers sounds like a mutated version of herpes.
  • H and E are really all that's left and E bleeds shot attempts. How awesome is that contract going to look in like, oh, 8 months ago?

Clean Hit

  • What in the blue f*ck is this stupid "squeeee" bullsh*t? "I'm going to make the most annoying noise possible when my favourite overrated player does anything remotely positive because LOL!" Good thing Eberle doesn't do much good often. 

GAZE UPON YOUR GOD, WHO HAS FORSAKEN YOU

  • God Edmonton media is just the worst, too. "Let's run every talented player who doesn't speak english out of town! GRIT! TOUGHNESS! GAZDICCCCCCCCCCCCCCC"

"Oh Yeah He Totally Won That One"

  • I had to drive through Edmonton on my way to Bonnyville this summer. Even passing through the city was terrible. The roads look like the pockmarked face of a 70 year old pack-a-day smoker. Even the "engineering wonder" that is the Anthony Henday is terrible in comparison to Calgary's ring road. Ours is going to be done when yours is even though it's longer (25 kms) and it started like a decade later.
  • I guess living within explosion distance of refineries makes up for the 2 cent difference in gas.
  • Does anyone really even give a sh*t about West Edmonton Mall anymore? All it is is monolithic, ugly and out-of-date.
  • Haha the downtown arena man that's a horrible idea huge waste of money
  • Oh that's still going forward okay then lol
  • Also looks like sperm

This was actually on the city's website. Seriously.

  • Can a city really be called a city of champions if no one ever wins anything?
  • Why are there hundreds of jacked up trucks that are always sparkling clean?
  • 2011's Homicide Capital of Canada!

Edmonton Sun, Jan. 1, 2012

  • Capital Ex (or Klondike days or whatever it's called) is basically the ginger who writes "butts" as an answer on his test compared to the A+ student that is the Calgary Stampede.
  • http://walkingdeadmonton.tumblr.com
  • We even hate Toronto, Vancouver and Montréal better than you do!

In summary,

Love, Justin

A9d138d0e612f28cd46f9b7057ed715d
Justin is a 23-year-old Flames fan who also happens to be pursuing a double major at the University of Calgary. He has played hockey at high levels, enjoys wearing shorts and tends to drink far too much Grasshopper. Please don't hate him.
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#301 Hauk15
November 16 2013, 11:41PM
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Jeff In Lethbridge wrote:

you do realize you just insulted your own team, right?

I will be nice tho cause, like McGratton said in post game.. everyone is fighting a battle. God bless you my son.

Obviously. They are 5-15-2 they deserve to be insulted. jack-ass.

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#302 Todd
November 16 2013, 11:44PM
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Flamers have no idea how bad it's gonna get... Enjoy the ride.

You guys are talking about trading Stajan, Cammy, Stempniak for magic beans. draft picks that MIGHT pay off in 5 years. Looks like Sven is your Gagner (a decent 2nd liner but not elite). Jankowski is flopping. Your hope is on a 155lb skinny college kid. Monahan might be decent but I would get excited about 1 single other player on your entire team.

My point is you guys should stop flapping about being ahead of us in the rebuild. You still have no elite talent. And as we exemplify, it takes a long time to develop 18 year olds. Even 1st overalls.

You have no idea how bad your future is. I hope it sucks worse than I know it will.

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#303 Gkpoil
November 16 2013, 11:47PM
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Jonny T wrote:

Do you hear what you're saying man? What are you so proud of? You're talking about the Oilers!! You're an Oilers fan!!! Calm down. What have they done that justifies anything you're saying? Good god. Please, keep your pride to yourself until your team starts living up to their prophesized glory years and 6 more stanley cups.

Not sure what you're talking about, but you should probably calm down a bit too there tiger. The oilers suck, not too many people will argue that, but you flamer fans seem to think that your rebuild is going to be over so quickly.

Most of you slack-jawed hicks think that the oiler rebuild has been going on since 2006 (last time oilers challenged for the cup), couldn't the same thing be said for Calgary since 2004? Sure you guys finished 9th a couple times.... I'd rather totally sh*t the bed and have Hall, RNH and Yak.

You guys play just good enough the secure an average player (when your GM doesn't pick some no-name) in the draft but are still sh*tty enough to miss the post season.

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#304 Hauk15
November 16 2013, 11:49PM
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Todd wrote:

Flamers have no idea how bad it's gonna get... Enjoy the ride.

You guys are talking about trading Stajan, Cammy, Stempniak for magic beans. draft picks that MIGHT pay off in 5 years. Looks like Sven is your Gagner (a decent 2nd liner but not elite). Jankowski is flopping. Your hope is on a 155lb skinny college kid. Monahan might be decent but I would get excited about 1 single other player on your entire team.

My point is you guys should stop flapping about being ahead of us in the rebuild. You still have no elite talent. And as we exemplify, it takes a long time to develop 18 year olds. Even 1st overalls.

You have no idea how bad your future is. I hope it sucks worse than I know it will.

But the fLAMES have 3 more points than the Oil. That must mean that BearChief and Monahan are better players than Hall, Nuge, Yak, Ebs. haha not. You flamers have mocked us, but soon you will see how it is to watch your team go to crap. Start stock piling the liquor, you're gonna need it flamers!

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#305 oilslicks
November 17 2013, 12:02AM
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@Jonny T

The "cycle game" which, as you say, "increases your puck possession rate," is often how you generate "stupid goals." Last I checked, those count too - sure did tonight. "Plain and simple."

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#306 Pouzar99
November 17 2013, 12:34AM
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I loved it back in the day when the Oilers and Flames were fighting over the Stanley Cup and playing the best hockey in the world.

I endured it when for the past two decades they were fighting over the last playoff spot and playing mediocre hockey.

I can barely stand it now when they are fighting over who gets to pick first overall and the hockey is literally dreadful.

But the Oilers will always be my team, so it was nice to see them storm back and win tonight, 4-2 over the SaddleDopes. Nice night for Stempniak.

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#307 YFC Prez
November 17 2013, 12:45AM
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Thinker wrote:

Wayne where are you? I think a lifetime ban is in order.

Lol. I assume your looking for wanye. Who's Wayne. Take a quick look at the article. It will all make sense.

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#308 Eddie Shore
November 17 2013, 01:00AM
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Hard to imagine something worse than this article yet the comments section trumps it. The comment sections are nearly unreadable these days.

On an unrelated note, thanks for the two points.

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#309 Darrell
November 17 2013, 06:29AM
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lionlager wrote:

Well, looks like you can't lose them all Oilers. The win feels weird I bet, but don't worry. You won't have to get used to it. Another season already written off. More top draft picks to collect and systematically break their spirits. Godspeed.

Beat your asses and played one period of hockey ! Thank God as that was speed :). As for the rest of you Flames fans - eat sh!t - sqeee-haw y'all ....

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#310 andy
November 17 2013, 08:33AM
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wooow a troll piece. real original

first daily dsf, and now this

im done with this site

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#311 Dangilitis
November 17 2013, 08:43AM
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I love it. Flames fans enjoyed the pre-game blog and earlier part of the night where they could hurl insults at the Oilers and their fans. Then, 6 minutes of reality on the ice and then sh*t got real for you. Now, we have hypocrites from Calgary coming out of the wood works saying Oilers fans are being malicious, immature, etc. But the insults were okay when they suited you, right? Believe me, no Oilers fan likes sharing blogs with you neanderthals. Why don't you all forget about this blog, and go back to the purely Flames Nation propaganda that defends the idiots in upper management and applauds the team's efforts in spite of futility. That was the state of Oilers fandom 5 years ago. Ignorance is bliss.

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#312 Dangilitis
November 17 2013, 08:53AM
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travis wrote:

Please man. I'm a proud Edmontonian, even though I don't live there anymore, and your post is so over-exaggerated it actually makes me gag. Stop your incessant non-sense. We won 1 meaningless game. You're embarrassing us. Edmonton is a terrible city. It just is...accept it. Don't try to sugarcoat it. I love edmonton because it's my home, but I mean, in all seriousness, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

What part of it is nonsense? Let's dissect. The fact that Calgary Flames suck? No. That the team is rebuilding and will lose its best current players in that process? No. The fact that the U of A is a superior institution to U of C? No one would debate that. That the Flames management has managed to do as crappy a job as the Oilers? Nope. The fact that Calgarians cling to the fact that one of their 2 sports teams is successful, yet that success is in a league where there are only 8 teams. No.

I am having real trouble seeing why you would gag, unless you can't co-ordinate your own tongue's movements. Which would make it real hard to swallow the news that you are an idiot.

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#313 seve927
November 17 2013, 09:04AM
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Topsy turvy night in the NHL. Preds beat the Hawks, Panthers beat Avs, Isles beat the Wings, Coyotes beat the Lightning, Devils beat the Penguins and the Oilers beat the Flames. Sometimes you just shake your head and move on.

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#314 please cancel acct
November 17 2013, 09:17AM
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Thinker wrote:

Wayne where are you? I think a lifetime ban is in order.

Wanye loves this crap.

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#315 SmellOfVictory
November 17 2013, 10:19AM
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Todd wrote:

I know lots about your prospects. Lots a prayers and 2nd tier guys. Not 1 true elite guy. Zilch.

You have Robert Nilson, Andrew Cogliano and Pajarvi. Except even those guys were good enough to make the NHL at 19.

We have been in your shoes. We also hyped up second rate prospects as elite hopeful. You have no idea what's in store.

Serious Johnny Hockey?? Do you mean Nathan Gerbe. The other 5'0" college phenom hobby baker winner that Buffalo just bought out (Buffalo!!) it's hilarious how much hope Flamers but in an NCAA drawf with less then 1 second experience of pro hockey at any level .

You'll learn... Enjoy it

There's a difference between "good enough to play in the NHL at 19" and "rushed into the NHL because management is stupid." Cogliano is the only one of those three that's a legitimate NHLer, or ever was.

Additionally, while way too many Flames fans hang their hat on Gaudreau, as size does still present a potential barrier to success, JG has far outperformed Gerbe at the same age. Or any recent small forward prospect in the NCAA.

Points/Game: 18 y/o season: Gerbe: 0.46 Gaudreau: 1.00

19 y/o season: Gerbe: 1.15 Gaudreau: 1.46

20 y/o season: Gerbe: 1.58 Gaudreau (so far): 1.82

You will note that there is a large gap in production between the two at every single step in their NCAA careers for their age. They're not comparable outside of size. Their playstyles are completely different and Gaudreau is substantially more productive. It's like comparing Hal Gill and Zdeno Chara as players just because they're both really tall defencemen.

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#316 FlamesRule
November 17 2013, 10:57AM
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@Dallas Eakins' Magnificent Forehead

He looks good in red...maybe we can swap you back for Smid?

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#317 Dangilitis
November 17 2013, 11:07AM
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travis wrote:

It's non-sense because you wrote a goddamn essay to try and overcompensate your personal insecurities. I'm an Oilers fan you retard. I'm just telling you to not get too proud because we've been worse longer than them, and I have 0 confidence it'll get better anytime soon. As an observant hockey fan, the flames management for many years were living in an illusion predicated on Darryl Sutter's terrible signings and philosophy. Feaster finally had some cap room and flexibility to put his own stamp on this team, and I'd say he's done a better job than our idiotic general managers. The moves Feaster made this offseason were actually pretty solid. He signed effective role players for cheap, retained useful veterans,has a plan of a team identity moving forward, and now has tons of cap space to work with. He also has us as an example of not to run a rebuild.

As mind boggling as they are at times (Jankowski??) I can guarantee you, when the time comes to draft a defenceman or a forward,they'll go for need and realize the importance of a strong blueline, and versatility/size down the middle. Our inept management clearly does not know how to build a team. Unfortunately, I am still an Oilers fan through and through, sigh. I'm hoping when our young guns reach their prime, we'll be a good team once again, but that will mainly be due their talent. Not a solid team game.

I also go to University of Toronto, which is better than the U of A and U of C combined. What is your point? What do universities have to do with anything?

Hey Travis if you are so damn clever how come you call yourself a proud edmontonian and then talk about the city being a dive. An oxymoron, kind of like Travis and clever being used in the same sentence. Wow talk about personal insecurity. What are you studying at u of t, douchebagggery? I brought up universities because young justin is studying at u of c. It's called a joke, kind of like his entire blog. If you can't understand the trash talk why don't you tuck that male organ back between your legs and get back to your studies at U of t (which for the record in my graduating year from the md program was outperformed by u of a, not even "u of a and u of c combined"). Get over yourself man. If you are a proud self loathing edmontonian then edmonton really is a laughing stock....

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#318 travis
November 17 2013, 02:47PM
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@Dangilitis

It is. Thank you for finally admiting it. You're the best. I love you.

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#319 Loweblows
November 17 2013, 03:27PM
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Brent G. wrote:

Having had the unfortunate experience of being moved to Edmonton recently for work I can tell you it is a total sh*t hole in comparison to Calgary; and I was born in Edmonton. Sure u of a is a great school and lister was the best year of my life but really the city is old, tired, ugly and disjointed. There is literally nothing in the downtown core worth speaking about and the night life is subpar.

The people are friendly but I have yet to find someone who is really committed to the city and wouldn't leave tomorrow. Katz owns that monstrucity of a house and doesn't even live there, choosing greener pastures as so many people here would love to have the option of doing. Edmontonians know they are living in Calgarys shadow. Even the 'nice' areas of the city (like south side) are generic, cookie cutter houses that are boring.

I look forward to getting out of this place ASAP and hope to watch the city burn in the review mirror as I go. This city was obviously a mistake from day one and burning it to the ground and starting over seems to be the only likely option at this point.

Calgary definitely has it's problems like all cities do but I can tell you in my return to Edmonton recently it really puts things into perspective of what a great great place it is by comparison

Too much...? :)

I was raised in Sherwood Park and moved to calgary for school in 1988 and havent left yet. As a resident of both cities I can tell you both are two of the best cities in the world. Edmonton I can tell you with its river valley is far superior to calgary in that aspect. Calgary has wonderful mountainview and its core since I moved here in 1988 has become dynamic. When Edmonton gets the downtown arena I am sure it will bring that same electricity. It is obvious that Brent G lives a shallow life, probably lives in a basement suite and plays xbox all day since he probably has no friends since he is obviously a very negative person. My advice to you Brent is put down the controller, find a friend and start enjoying the wonderful city that you moved to for employment. Once you become more positive you may actually meet someone who enjoys being in your presence. Good luck in the future Brent.

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#320 Oiler Al
November 17 2013, 03:30PM
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travis wrote:

It is. Thank you for finally admiting it. You're the best. I love you.

You two guys live on Charles street by chance?

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#321 ubermiguel
November 17 2013, 06:02PM
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#322 Dog Train
November 16 2013, 03:56PM
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I forgot about this nonsense. So there is something on the line tonight.

Please Oilers, if you're going to show up then do it tonight.

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#323 Zamboni Driver
November 16 2013, 04:12PM
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The worst part about tonight.

Game is on national TV. The whole country will get to see whatever in the hell it is the Flames and Oilers collectively play.

0-0 tie....20 rounds of slam dunk contest. Won, of course, by Gazdic.

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#324 Johnnydapunk
November 16 2013, 04:13PM
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Man I miss Battle of Alberta's that had proper hate and meant something...

Flames Oil full line brawl

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#325 **
November 16 2013, 04:14PM
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Zamboni Driver wrote:

The worst part about tonight.

Game is on national TV. The whole country will get to see whatever in the hell it is the Flames and Oilers collectively play.

0-0 tie....20 rounds of slam dunk contest. Won, of course, by Gazdic.

Just for Laughs. NHL edition.

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#326 **
November 16 2013, 04:18PM
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Zamboni Driver wrote:

Okay I'm an Oilers fan too.

But if you are suggesting that the 'braintrust' (used loosely) is CHOOSING NOT TO DO ANYTHING about the mess they've created.

As in....they're doing this on purpose??!!

Well if that's so, it's a helluva worse than any of us ever imagined.

Doing this on purpose would signal traces of intelligent life at the Oilers office down at kingsway. Latest readings suggest it's a radioactive site populated by leeches whose resistance to any amount of common sense has made it impossible so far for anyone to remove them.

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#327 The poster formerly known as Koolaid drinker #33
November 16 2013, 04:53PM
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BOA is just sad now......hoping for a goalie fight tonight.

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#328 YFC Prez
November 16 2013, 05:09PM
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Steve wrote:

I had to double check I was still on flames nation bc of all the trolling Soiler fans on here trying haha. Keep up the good work!!!

Calgary and Edmonton GDB's are put on both team sites. Winner of the last game gets to write the GDB. no ones trolling

Edit: ya! what Bucknuck said...

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#329 DieHard
November 16 2013, 05:20PM
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Hey Dude. Just how long have you been 22?

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#330 Virtual_Xi
November 16 2013, 05:23PM
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I liked the GDB! that road comment was hella funny, I drive those streets too, HA! "pockmarked face of a 70 year old pack-a-day smoker!" so true. Although I will say this, at least we can drive the speed limit or more during rush our on all our roads, vs the 10km/hr deerfoot

back to hockey, this is going to be an awful game, tune out folks! make your 2.5 hours actually count by drinking wine in the gutter.

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#331 Drowning in Oil
November 16 2013, 06:16PM
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CALGARY........ THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN'S AFTERBIRTH!!

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#332 99thOilerfan
November 16 2013, 06:20PM
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Hey ! like my jersey?

It does not MATTER, if you like it or not....

Go Oil!

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#333 justDOit
November 16 2013, 06:21PM
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dougtheslug wrote:

Here's what's really tragic.

This province is the hockey capital of the world. We produce hockey players like Vancouver produces street arsonists and Toronto produces ludicrous mayors. Do you realize that there are more than twice as many Alberta born players in the NHL than there are Russian born players? And Russia has 100 times the population, and twice as much snow.

Alberta has produced Hart, Norris, and Vezina trophy winners. Alberta born players captain three NHL teams. The next big thing in hockey, 15 year old Tyler Benson, is from Alberta. He shattered the Alberta Bantam scoring record last year. The record he broke belonged to Joffrey Lupul. And whose record did Lupul break? Jerome Inginla's. This province breeds excellence in hockey.

In the 1980's our professional teams reflected that. For eight (that is EIGHT!) straight years an Alberta team was in the Stanley Cup final, winning 6 times. Alberta owned the NHL in the 1980's. Alberta was called Death Valley for eastern teams making their swing through here.

We have the most loyal, rabid, knowledgable hockey fans in the NHL. And that is because most of us have played the game, coached our kids, got up at 5:30 to clear the outdoor rinks or to drive to 6 a.m. practices. We live, breathe and die for the game.

The Battle of Alberta used to mean something. It used to mean the battle for supremacy of the NHL. Which used to mean, when Edmonton played Calgary back in the 1980's, it was to determine who was the best Hockey Club in the world. Yes. The World.

So now, as we prepare for tonight's tilt, between two bottom feeders with nothing at stake but the title of least worst "professional"team in the NHL, it makes me mad and sad. Ignorance, arrogance, cronyism, breathtaking stupidity, yeah they're all to blame for our plight. We've been over it all so many times I can't bear to rehash the reasons for this disgrace.

I just think it didn't have to be this way. It shouldn't be like this. None of us, North and South, Flame or Oiler, deserve this.

Quoted for excellence, Dougie!

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#334 Spaz
November 16 2013, 06:27PM
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Sad state of affairs when you can't tell if it's an oiler fan or a flames fan ripping the oilers in a GDB.

At least you bastards have been enjoying ELPH, I've had season tickets for the last 5 years and this has been the most depressing span in it.

I don't care what you chirp about in this blog, it's not even close to the insult Rexall place is giving us each game.

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#335 PapaMike
November 16 2013, 06:38PM
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Anyone know what the lineups will be? I see Oscar was assigned to OKC and Arcobello recalled.

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#336 YFC Prez
November 16 2013, 06:47PM
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PapaMike wrote:

Anyone know what the lineups will be? I see Oscar was assigned to OKC and Arcobello recalled.

I was just thinking the same thing. Looks like the writer got a little caught up in the boa banter ( which I think he did a half decent job on .... At least better than he's getting credit for ) and forgot to put in the line ups for tonight.

I hope arco is playing. He should under no circumstances not be in the line-up with the season he's had. That was a big mistake. Time for Eakins to set things right.

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#337 Oilfan
November 16 2013, 06:55PM
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@camdog

A BEAUTIFUL SPERM!!! A BEAUTIFUL GIANT SPERM!!!

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#338 archer
November 16 2013, 06:56PM
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A bit of a lame attempt at humour, but some marks for effort. However, a city that has a rink that looks like a panty liner ("Linerdome") should not be trashing another city's rink

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#339 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 16 2013, 06:59PM
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Virtual_Xi wrote:

I liked the GDB! that road comment was hella funny, I drive those streets too, HA! "pockmarked face of a 70 year old pack-a-day smoker!" so true. Although I will say this, at least we can drive the speed limit or more during rush our on all our roads, vs the 10km/hr deerfoot

back to hockey, this is going to be an awful game, tune out folks! make your 2.5 hours actually count by drinking wine in the gutter.

this game is gonna be a riot! id say make a drinking game out of it... everytime someone sucks so bad you actually laugh out loud, take a drink. please have a designated driver and drink responsibly!!

:-D :-D :-D :-D

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#340 Ryan Pike
November 16 2013, 07:01PM
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Klefbom down, Acrobello up. Decent chance that Arcobello plays, but not 100% sure.

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#341 Hauk15
November 16 2013, 07:27PM
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The sad thing is Flames fans and Oilers fans don't fight over whose team is better, we fight over whos team is worse.

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#342 Fish
November 16 2013, 07:38PM
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How's last years first rounder, and future best player in the draft doing?

http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php?pid=155332

Solid pick.

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#343 Hockey fan
November 16 2013, 07:47PM
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On actual hockey related material and not this waste of space blog, it's crazy the swagger and aggresive style of hockey the Buffalo Sabres have played since the change in coaching. Hmmmmmm!!!

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#344 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 16 2013, 07:52PM
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OK serious question....

does the winner of tonights game have "bragging" rights???

hahahahaha

drop the puck!

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#345 reaperfunkss (2nd tier fan)
November 16 2013, 07:56PM
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This will be my last game to watch this season if the Oilers play like the..well the Oilers.

Not worth my time.

i will pay attention again when Klown gets fired.

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#346 Chainsawz
November 16 2013, 08:03PM
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I tried simulating this game on my PS3 and it keeps going into sleep mode.

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#347 Hoozonphirst
November 16 2013, 08:14PM
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The vaunted Battle of Alberta has sadly become the 'Bitch Slap of Alberta'. The score is incidental. What's on the History Channel tonight?

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#348 Johnnydapunk
November 16 2013, 08:23PM
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It's like the Oil never practise! No one seems to have a clue where the other players are. It shouldn't take 8 mins of hockey to start completing passes, boh!

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#349 YFC Prez
November 16 2013, 08:25PM
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@Johnnydapunk

They're making the flames look like the pens so far. How many teams can make the flames look this good? I think we're just about all.

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#350 YFC Prez
November 16 2013, 08:37PM
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What a fight. Good job boys

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