FGD: Suck It

Justin Azevedo
November 16 2013 03:30PM

Oilers Flames Hockey

Via halifaxdrunk

Originally, this was going to be a sob piece.

Man, was it ever going to be beautiful. Our cities' respective teams are both, in a word, repugnant. Flawed management persists, coaches play favourites, people still buy tickets and no one wins. There's so many reasons why fans of these two teams are alike.

But then I thought that wallowing in sadness wasn't really in the spirit of the Battle of Alberta.

So then I thought I would write about the juxtaposition of the Oilers (who have gone more than two decades without a cup, who have inept upper management leaders that refuse to abdicate their power to people who in no way could do a worse job running the team, who have endured a streak of more than half a decade without the playoffs and who have fans thinking there is no future) against the Flames, (who have gone more than two decades without a cup, who have inept upper management leaders that refuse to abdicate their power to people who in no way could do a worse job running the team than they have, who have endured a streak of more than half a decade without the playoffs and who have fans thinking there is no future) because the two teams are obviously so different. But that was a garbage idea too.

So, let's be honest here - in terms of the hockey game out there tonight, there's not really much to care about because both of these teams suck for so many reasons. Thus, that concludes your game preview.

 

Haha, man, you really did think that was the end, didn't you? Wouldn't be surprised. You are from Edmonton. Hell, I'm surprised you've even made it this far without slumping over and drooling on your keyboard.

 

I came to the conclusion that what I really should be writing about is how f***ing bad Edmonton is.

  • Every single one of your sports teams is garbage. They've all fallen, and they can't get up.
  • Seriously, what the f*ck is "#GOilers"? Goilers sounds like a mutated version of herpes.
  • H and E are really all that's left and E bleeds shot attempts. How awesome is that contract going to look in like, oh, 8 months ago?

Clean Hit

  • What in the blue f*ck is this stupid "squeeee" bullsh*t? "I'm going to make the most annoying noise possible when my favourite overrated player does anything remotely positive because LOL!" Good thing Eberle doesn't do much good often. 

GAZE UPON YOUR GOD, WHO HAS FORSAKEN YOU

  • God Edmonton media is just the worst, too. "Let's run every talented player who doesn't speak english out of town! GRIT! TOUGHNESS! GAZDICCCCCCCCCCCCCCC"

"Oh Yeah He Totally Won That One"

  • I had to drive through Edmonton on my way to Bonnyville this summer. Even passing through the city was terrible. The roads look like the pockmarked face of a 70 year old pack-a-day smoker. Even the "engineering wonder" that is the Anthony Henday is terrible in comparison to Calgary's ring road. Ours is going to be done when yours is even though it's longer (25 kms) and it started like a decade later.
  • I guess living within explosion distance of refineries makes up for the 2 cent difference in gas.
  • Does anyone really even give a sh*t about West Edmonton Mall anymore? All it is is monolithic, ugly and out-of-date.
  • Haha the downtown arena man that's a horrible idea huge waste of money
  • Oh that's still going forward okay then lol
  • Also looks like sperm

This was actually on the city's website. Seriously.

  • Can a city really be called a city of champions if no one ever wins anything?
  • Why are there hundreds of jacked up trucks that are always sparkling clean?
  • 2011's Homicide Capital of Canada!

Edmonton Sun, Jan. 1, 2012

  • Capital Ex (or Klondike days or whatever it's called) is basically the ginger who writes "butts" as an answer on his test compared to the A+ student that is the Calgary Stampede.
  • http://walkingdeadmonton.tumblr.com
  • We even hate Toronto, Vancouver and Montréal better than you do!

In summary,

Love, Justin

A9d138d0e612f28cd46f9b7057ed715d
Justin is a 23-year-old Flames fan who also happens to be pursuing a double major at the University of Calgary. He has played hockey at high levels, enjoys wearing shorts and tends to drink far too much Grasshopper. Please don't hate him.
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#351 Ed Wailin'
November 16 2013, 08:40PM
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You gotta admit, he's a classy face puncher at least...

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#352 RKD
November 16 2013, 08:40PM
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That was a pretty good fight, if your read Gazdic's lips he told Brian "thanks for the scrap." I think Belov might have a charley horse from that Bouma hit.

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#353 OilersareBRUTAL
November 16 2013, 08:40PM
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Belov looks PISSED! Now get out there and kill someone !

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#354 RKD
November 16 2013, 08:42PM
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Jeff In Lethbridge wrote:

i heard heather luscano (singer) had an affair wih conroys wife and thats why Dion was traded... or something like that

No, I heard the rumour was Dion was sleeping with Reg's wife and that's why Sutter traded him. The same guy told me Dion was wearing a ton of makeup during the presser because Iggy came into the dressing room and gave Dion a black eye. Not sure I buy it.

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#355 Ed Wailin'
November 16 2013, 08:48PM
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@Parallex

Conroys wife.

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#356 kevin
November 16 2013, 08:49PM
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Getting the show run tonight in Calgary, getting baldly out shot ! what a display of skill and talent we have. J O K E ! our top line and $80 million dollar line no less giving up the puck costing us a goal. This is sickening to watch.

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#357 Ed Wailin'
November 16 2013, 08:52PM
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@YFC Prez

hahahaha touche' sir

I'm just saying, it was in obvious response to the earlier fight... I'm less ok with that than I am for Mcgratten fighting a dude that asks him to fight, thats all.

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#358 Jay
November 16 2013, 08:54PM
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I miss the lockout...

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#359 YFC Prez
November 16 2013, 09:02PM
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Wow even glen Healy is talking about Shea weber to Edmonton trades. But out here that's not really "thinking outside the box". I think I've heard every scenario possible.

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#360 YFC Prez
November 16 2013, 09:13PM
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@DSF

I was surprised to hear that from a professional panel. I would have laughed my butt off if he included Omark in the deal.

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#361 Randaman
November 16 2013, 09:16PM
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Can they just stay in Calgary after the game? They can have this bunch of coach killers. Pathetic on the effort scale so far

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#362 Hauk15
November 16 2013, 09:22PM
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My most hated penalty, even worse than delay of game. Bunch of dumb asses can't even manage a clean change.

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#363 Randaman
November 16 2013, 09:22PM
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Fresh Mess wrote:

that's a goal

This is hockey, not rugby.

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#364 YFC Prez
November 16 2013, 09:24PM
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Hey. A pp that's worse than the oils. Huh ... Who knew

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#365 negrilcowboy
November 16 2013, 09:25PM
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trade hrudey to nashville

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#366 @Oilanderp
November 16 2013, 09:28PM
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Jeff In Lethbridge wrote:

I bought the new Flames third jersey...

did anyone else yet?

Expensive way to make shop rags.

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#367 Parallex
November 16 2013, 09:30PM
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YFC Prez wrote:

Hey. A pp that's worse than the oils. Huh ... Who knew

Everyone in Calgary.

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#368 Drowning in Oil
November 16 2013, 09:41PM
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Remember when Eberle scored that amazing highlight reel goal against the Flames in the season opener a few years back. Oh, so much hope back then........... Look how far we have come!!

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#369 Stack Pad Save
November 16 2013, 09:43PM
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Can any one tell me why on earth the Oilers called up Klefbom just to send him back down and than let that time bomb in his own end Potter play? Did he really have 3 giveaways in his own end before the flames scored that 2nd goal? Seriously WTF.

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#370 Alsker
November 16 2013, 09:50PM
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@Serious Gord

Thx, thought it was just a brainfart by management...

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#371 Fresh Mess
November 16 2013, 09:55PM
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Good opportunity here for the oilers to trade away a goallie for good valu

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#372 Ryan Pike
November 16 2013, 09:59PM
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@ChinookArch

Yes. More good shots in.

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#373 Rob Gilgan
November 16 2013, 10:02PM
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So good to see Ted Nolan back in the NHL.

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#374 Rob F
November 16 2013, 10:03PM
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I thought the Detroit game was rock bottom.....so far this is rock bottom

i keep hearing......you gotta hit rock bottom and admit you have a problem before you get better

oilers need an intervention.......i know

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#375 Ryan Pike
November 16 2013, 10:03PM
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Bold moves and smart moves are rarely the same moves.

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#376 Alsker
November 16 2013, 10:04PM
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YFC Prez wrote:

Total brainfart. Mac t sends down one of his most consistent players to make room for a d man who doesn't even play a game. Then calls him back up the next game. How many flights did arco take for no reason whatsoever.

Most businesses don't have the profit margin to be that careless with money. Must be nice

They said yesterday he never left town as it was a paper move only to allow Klefbom to come up(why god only knows). I assumed he would have traveled with the team to Cowtown last night. Lets just hope kBlowe has zero input into our olympic team and he's there for old times sake only. What a clusterfuc& this is.

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#377 DCC
November 16 2013, 10:07PM
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Rob F wrote:

I thought the Detroit game was rock bottom.....so far this is rock bottom

i keep hearing......you gotta hit rock bottom and admit you have a problem before you get better

oilers need an intervention.......i know

MacT also said that the Detroit game was rock bottom. Hmmmm...really?

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#378 Time Travelling Sean
November 16 2013, 10:12PM
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If the return is there trade one of the Big 4.

That might send the message that these "players-only meetings" aren't getting across.

Is it too late to get Renney back? :c

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#379 Harlie
November 16 2013, 10:15PM
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@Rob F

Why heff to be mad?

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#380 Hauk15
November 16 2013, 10:16PM
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that was just.....filthy lol.

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#381 Drowning in Oil
November 16 2013, 10:19PM
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I take it all back. The Oilers are now a Power House. Mac T and KLowe are mad wizards. Eakins is a strategic general. Go Oil, Go!!

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#382 ?
November 16 2013, 10:19PM
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prendrefeu wrote:

The hell are all these Failers doing here? Don't they have their own nation blog to follow the game?

..... they never learn

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#383 Drowning in Oil
November 16 2013, 10:19PM
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I take it all back. The Oilers are now a Power House. Mac T and KLowe are mad wizards. Eakins is a strategic general. Go Oil, Go!!

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#384 vetinari
November 16 2013, 10:20PM
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The Barons.... er... Oilers have tied it...

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#385 vetinari
November 16 2013, 10:21PM
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The Barons.... er... Oilers have tied it...

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#386 Andy7190
November 16 2013, 10:26PM
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@Alsker

I'm not sure what Hartley sees in Berra. That's the same goal Joey Mac gave up and ended up in the minors for. Oilers have life.

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#387 Drowning in Oil
November 16 2013, 10:27PM
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I take it all back. The Oilers are now a Power House. Mac T and KLowe are mad wizards. Eakins is a strategic general. Go Oil, Go!!

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#388 YFC Prez
November 16 2013, 10:28PM
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@Johnnydapunk

Dubnyk is playing very well. Has since the briz signing. Just reinforces the notion that he needs to be pushed. Dubnyk is the reason were winning this game.

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#389 Andy7190
November 16 2013, 10:29PM
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I'm not sure what Hartley sees in Berra. That's the same goal Joey Mac gave up and he ended up in the minors for it. Oilers have life.

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#390 vetinari
November 16 2013, 10:29PM
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The Barons.... er... Oilers have tied it...

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#391 Hauk15
November 16 2013, 10:36PM
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Hall, Nuge, and Eberle are making the flames look like a bunch of pylons

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#392 Johnnydapunk
November 16 2013, 10:36PM
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YFC Prez wrote:

Dubnyk is playing very well. Has since the briz signing. Just reinforces the notion that he needs to be pushed. Dubnyk is the reason were winning this game.

Completely agree, Dubnyk has been on fire since the Bryz got signed. I actually rate Berra quite highly as well, his shot stopping is usually amazing. He has had a bit of a rough ride so far though.

Now is Dubnyks big test, this is what makes a good goalie great, not letting in the goal that matters. Fuhr was legendary for that.

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#393 Hauk15
November 16 2013, 10:37PM
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I don't believe my eyes! Did the Edmonton Oilers just win a hockey game?

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#394 Sammy
November 16 2013, 10:44PM
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Who can suck it now young Justin?

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#395 YFC Prez
November 16 2013, 10:44PM
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@Drowning in Oil

My ears hurt

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#396 SmellOfVictory
November 16 2013, 10:48PM
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WHY THE HELL WAS COLBORNE ON THE ICE AT ALL WHEN THE FLAMES WERE DOWN? He's so god damned infuriating to watch.

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#397 MMAX
November 16 2013, 10:48PM
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This win should be enough to keep 6-Rings safe for a while.......Damn.

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#398 Lowetide
November 16 2013, 10:49PM
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this is why we NEVER mock the other team. The Hockey Gods lie in wait for these kinds of things.

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#399 TDSM31
November 16 2013, 10:50PM
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YFC Prez wrote:

Dubnyk is playing very well. Has since the briz signing. Just reinforces the notion that he needs to be pushed. Dubnyk is the reason were winning this game.

Yeah, Dubnyk has turned his game around but I still have a mild stroke when the other team gets outside shots on him...like SJ hit a couple posts on really generic looking shots then there were a few tonight that made me flinch. I guess I shouldn't complain...at least they're not going in.

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#400 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 16 2013, 10:50PM
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Harlie wrote:

HAHA the fLames are worse than us.

Chiclet pickers.

wow that was dirty!!!

hahahaha

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