GDB 31.0: THE BOA

Wanye
December 07 2013 01:11PM

 

Proud new parents Traci and Jason welcomed their son Beckett William Douglas Gregor into the world on December 4th, 2013. This Battle of Alberta article is dedicated to him.

We met a nice little fellow at an Oilers game a few weeks back. Standing in line for pizza we saw that we were both sporting the Eberle 14 and got to talking business. "I am 8 years old and I haven't seen the Oilers in the playoffs once" we were informed in no uncertain terms by our fellow Oilers fan.

Doing some quick mental math we calculated he was indeed alive for the glorious run of '06. "What about the Cup run? You were alive for that" we replied. The kid rolled his eyes as only kids can towards moron adults and said matter of factly "yeah but I was just a baby so that doesn't count."

"Well what is your best Oilers memory then" we asked. "I dunno," came the reply after some time. "Maybe Yak sliding across the ice after that goal?"

Yikes. By the time we were 8 years old the Oilers had already won the Stanley Cup 4 times. 

Your average 8 year old Oilers fan been alive for the playoffs exactly once and we have it on good authority that the one year apparently doesn't count. And before you start laughing Flames fans things aren't much better down there having missed the playoffs four years in a row.

Look at little Cameron here, taken to his first Oilers game by my main man @clayballs22 the other night.  See the intent gaze in Cameron's eyes? There is no mistaking that look. He is there to see Oilers wins. Fellas like Cameron deserve great memories of their team as a tyke which will cement his status as a superfan later on in life.

We pity these kids of today. No wins, no playoffs, nothing to get excited about re-enacting whilst playing mini stick hockey at recess until you break your little wooden stick on another kid in overtime and get a half day suspension in the library and a lifetime ban from recess hockey.*

That's what being a lil fan of the Oilers or Flames is all about. Not rebuilds, labour disruptions and cheering for Entry Draft lottery wins.

We want better hockey in the next 8 years than we have seen in the past 8. If not for the sake of our shattered heart and expectations but for kids like Paul, dressed in his Oilers finery by proud dad @dahoosman in the expectation he too will become a big fan if he isn't already. 

Heck we even want better hockey for you Calgary, for all the poor misguided kids wearing Flames jerseys for whom the Igninla years will only be a story from before their time. Here's hoping to the emergence of the next generation of Iginlas in the North and South of Alberta that the Becketts, Camerons and Pauls will tell teach their kids about one day.

And here's to the Battle of Albertas of tomorrow. Games where there are playoff implications, with both sides dreading having to face each other down the stretch. Epic pitched battles on minus 30 nights that will cause kids like Beckett William Douglas Gregor to replay the game over and over again in his mind as he tries in vain to sleep after the final whistle.

Magic games that will ignite a whole new generation of fans of our respective teams.

*The Life of Wanye Gretz circa 1987

LINES - EDM - 14th place (10-18-2)

Hall - Gagner - Yakupov

Perron - The Nuge - Eberle

Smyth - Arcobello - Hemsky

Gazdic - Lander - Jones

Ference - Larsen

N. Schultz - J. Schultz

Marincin - Petry 

Dubnyk

LINES - CGY - 13th place - (10-14-2)

The Flames hadn't tweeted their lines as of press time here so this lineup is the latest from our friends over at DailyFaceOff.com: 

Cammalleri - Stajan - Stempniak 

Hudler - Backlund - D. Jones 

Baertschi - Byron - B. Jones 

MacDermid - Bouma - Smith

Butler - Giordano

Russell- Brodie

Smid - O'Brien

Berra

Expect last minute changes to both lineups as game time nears.

GAME DAY PREDICTION: Since I'm going to the game, the Oilers will win. Sir Eberle pots a pair as the Oilers win 5-1.

OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: Considering I forgot to include this with the original article, the Oilers will get off to a slow start, but like just my beer consumption at the game, they will pick up speed in the final few periods and cruise to victory.

NOT-SO-OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: I've decided to ditch my Eberle jersey for this game and go with my new Gazdic. I don't expect Lucky Luke to score very often, but after fighting that behemoth McGratton, I felt the urge to support Gazdic. My new jersey is also popular with the ladies, and Wanye Manor will be rocking later tonight after the Gaz Man picks up unexpected second-period assist and makes me look good to some unlucky lady who had three Rexall Beers.

UPDATE: THESE PREDICTIONS ARE COUNTERFEIT HAVING BEEN ADDED BY PAPA GREGOR IN MY NAME - WG

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#101 @Oilanderp
December 07 2013, 08:50PM
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Wow that's enough postage to send all the xmas gifts back home!

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#102 Jeff In Lethbridge
December 07 2013, 08:51PM
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wow Bera sucks. he is as bad dubnik

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#103 @Oilanderp
December 07 2013, 08:59PM
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@Jeff In Lethbridge

Yeah, 1-0 game, GOALIES U BLOW!!!! Is this on canucksarmy? I've got my bicycle hand-pump if we need to pump some tires.

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#104 @Oilanderp
December 07 2013, 09:03PM
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Cassie Campbell rules.

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#105 YFC Prez
December 07 2013, 09:04PM
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Having Cassie Campbell up there makes me not want to water ballon the panel as badly.

I still love her !

Hate PJ Stick

But I still love her

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#106 Arius Mumin
December 07 2013, 09:10PM
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Gagner is one of the best PKers in the league-when the Oilers are on the PP.

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#107 @Oilanderp
December 07 2013, 09:17PM
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Nice saves Dubey. Rookie d-men!

*shudder*

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#108 @Oilanderp
December 07 2013, 09:18PM
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BIG HIT BY DUBNYK!

(on his own d-man while skating to the bench on delayed call)

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#109 YFC Prez
December 07 2013, 09:20PM
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What's up with the pp again?

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#110 @Oilanderp
December 07 2013, 09:21PM
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I'm convinced that Perron speaks Finnish.

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#111 vetinari
December 07 2013, 09:21PM
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@Oilanderp wrote:

BIG HIT BY DUBNYK!

(on his own d-man while skating to the bench on delayed call)

Knocking his own defenceman out of the game may be the only way for him to get MacT to actually trade for a real #1 defenceman...

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#112 Kent Wilson
December 07 2013, 09:23PM
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Are we yelling obscenities at each other here yet?

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#113 Alsker
December 07 2013, 09:24PM
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YFC Prez wrote:

What's up with the pp again?

Another full day of PP practice and back to the same old same old.

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#114 Rocket
December 07 2013, 09:24PM
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Don't let Perron on the Ice with Nuge & Ebs. Perron will be the only guy in the scrum. Seriously does anyone on The Oilers besides him even talk smack? SMH

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#115 Jeremy
December 07 2013, 09:24PM
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YFC Prez wrote:

What's up with the pp again?

Trying to be cute, trying to sneak the puck between a dozen sticks and skates.

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#116 Mo Playoffs Mo Problems
December 07 2013, 09:25PM
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If Perron played for any other team I think I'd hate his guts. Instead, he makes me smile at least 3 times a game.

Also, I think Cassie Campbell nailed it in the video analysis. It's frustrating to think that if the talented Oilers players did the little things right and worked as hard as the majority of the Flames players, the Oilers would probably be a playoff team...

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#117 Oilersfan4
December 07 2013, 09:27PM
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Is it me,but does RNH miss the net lots when he shots the puck. Like the guy but hit the net.

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#118 Alsker
December 07 2013, 09:27PM
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Holy F^CK how hard is it to dump the puck in, 3 times on the last 89-4-64 shift they pass blindly along the blueline and guess what, Calgary goes the other way.

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#119 Jeremy
December 07 2013, 09:27PM
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Honestly, how many hard-working teams must the Oilers face in order to LEARN what it takes to win games?

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#120 Jeff In Lethbridge
December 07 2013, 09:28PM
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why didnt dubnik get a penalty for knocking his own net off... flames were just about to score....

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#121 @Oilanderp
December 07 2013, 09:28PM
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@Kent Wilson

I THINK YOUR TEAM, THOUGH LESS SKILLED, WORKS MUCH HARDER THAN MY TEAM BUT WE ARE BOTH STILL REALLY CRAPPY!!! YOU *******!

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#122 Rocket
December 07 2013, 09:29PM
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@Alsker

LOL no kidding. I literally cannot yell any louder at my TV. Fundamentals? We don't need no stinkin fundamentals!

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#123 YFC Prez
December 07 2013, 09:31PM
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Kent Wilson wrote:

Are we yelling obscenities at each other here yet?

* puts down half built Kent Wilson voodoo doll. *

Oh uhh. No sir. We're good.

Bye the way. Where do you get your hair cut?

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#124 Alsker
December 07 2013, 09:31PM
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Kent Wilson wrote:

Are we yelling obscenities at each other here yet?

Like the game its been rather polite and not crude as all. Still wish this would have existed back in the early 80's, would have been a moderators nightmare.

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#125 yessir
December 07 2013, 09:31PM
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Mo Playoffs Mo Problems wrote:

If Perron played for any other team I think I'd hate his guts. Instead, he makes me smile at least 3 times a game.

Also, I think Cassie Campbell nailed it in the video analysis. It's frustrating to think that if the talented Oilers players did the little things right and worked as hard as the majority of the Flames players, the Oilers would probably be a playoff team...

Couldn't agree more...how is Gagner not benched for not even bothering to skate back on his giveaway?

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#126 EugeneV
December 07 2013, 09:31PM
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The problem with Baertschi is not the fact that he can't make moves or plays, it is the plays he doesn't make. You know; the plays he SHOULD make. The basic plays that need to be made. Actual HOCKEY plays. not dangles.

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#127 YFC Prez
December 07 2013, 09:31PM
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Jeff In Lethbridge wrote:

why didnt dubnik get a penalty for knocking his own net off... flames were just about to score....

Ya sure we were all just about to score. At least that's what we tell ourselves isn't it?

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#128 @Oilanderp
December 07 2013, 09:32PM
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What a save by whatever nameless goalie is in net for Calgary. Eakins is going to have to tell Marcobello to pass it into the net, not shoot.

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#129 Jeremy
December 07 2013, 09:33PM
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Mo Playoffs Mo Problems wrote:

If Perron played for any other team I think I'd hate his guts. Instead, he makes me smile at least 3 times a game.

Also, I think Cassie Campbell nailed it in the video analysis. It's frustrating to think that if the talented Oilers players did the little things right and worked as hard as the majority of the Flames players, the Oilers would probably be a playoff team...

100% agree. Remember when we were the team that was low on talent and high on effort/2 way play/energy. That whole 'hovering around the Blueline' act never happened.

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#130 Arius Mumin
December 07 2013, 09:34PM
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yessir wrote:

Couldn't agree more...how is Gagner not benched for not even bothering to skate back on his giveaway?

The funniest thing at the intermission was when C.Campbell said Gagner is a character guy and him skating back like that won't happen again. She obviously doesn't watch Oilers games, Gagner does that every #@$%ing game.

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#131 Jeremy
December 07 2013, 09:34PM
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@Oilanderp wrote:

I THINK YOUR TEAM, THOUGH LESS SKILLED, WORKS MUCH HARDER THAN MY TEAM BUT WE ARE BOTH STILL REALLY CRAPPY!!! YOU *******!

Love this

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#132 Alsker
December 07 2013, 09:36PM
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Seems like our forwards are all using different play books. Passes to no where, guys going the wrong way, out of sync is too easy of an excuse. McBlender time,put guys going together, guys not:stapled to the bench!!!!

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#133 Jeff In Lethbridge
December 07 2013, 09:37PM
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McGratton... what IS his role? is he even hard to play against?

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#134 vetinari
December 07 2013, 09:38PM
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Someday, Eberle, Yak and the Nuge will be able to grow facial hair and they'll actually be able to physically knock guys around on the ice. Right now, they are all soooooo polite... "oh, did you save that shot? No problem sir, we'll just skate nicely back to the bench and wait for our next shift." And meanwhile, Perron is mounting a hunting scope of the shaft of his stick and taking names...

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#135 Jeremy
December 07 2013, 09:38PM
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@EugeneV

Soooooooo, you mean Hemsky, right?

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#136 oilsnc79
December 07 2013, 09:39PM
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Most excellent sir JG, hail BWDG, newest oiler. Great read

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#137 yessir
December 07 2013, 09:41PM
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Arius Mumin wrote:

The funniest thing at the intermission was when C.Campbell said Gagner is a character guy and him skating back like that won't happen again. She obviously doesn't watch Oilers games, Gagner does that every #@$%ing game.

So please tell me, who is to blame for a lack of commitment to defensive play and hard work in general ...trash it if it is the players fault...props if it is the coaches fault...

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#138 Jeremy
December 07 2013, 09:42PM
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Jeff In Lethbridge wrote:

McGratton... what IS his role? is he even hard to play against?

Question the first: Goon

Question the second: Nope

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#139 Jerod
December 07 2013, 09:43PM
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Battle of the AHL in Alberta.

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#140 YFC Prez
December 07 2013, 09:44PM
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yessir wrote:

So please tell me, who is to blame for a lack of commitment to defensive play and hard work in general ...trash it if it is the players fault...props if it is the coaches fault...

It's Lowes fault. Any problems with the oilers , hockey, or life in general are at this point almost guaranteed to be Lowes fault

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#141 @Oilanderp
December 07 2013, 09:45PM
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@Jeff In Lethbridge

McGratton is a class act for sure. What an awesome after-hours the last time these two teams met. I don't watch enough Flames games to be certain but the Oil could use 3 of him on our fourth line.

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#142 Arius Mumin
December 07 2013, 09:46PM
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yessir wrote:

So please tell me, who is to blame for a lack of commitment to defensive play and hard work in general ...trash it if it is the players fault...props if it is the coaches fault...

I trashed your comment.

I don't watch their practice, nor do I know what he impliments or asks of his players to do. I judge what I see, and that is the pathetic effort the players put in more often than not.

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#143 Alsker
December 07 2013, 09:47PM
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We crash the net on the PP, oh ya 89 not on the ice, makes perfect sense.

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#144 Ryan Pike
December 07 2013, 09:49PM
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Fun Fact: The Flames AHL team is really, really good.

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#145 Arius Mumin
December 07 2013, 09:50PM
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YFC Prez wrote:

It's Lowes fault. Any problems with the oilers , hockey, or life in general are at this point almost guaranteed to be Lowes fault

All the Gagner funboys blame everything on Lowe.

From what I have noticed in the comments section most posters, that for whatever reason defend Gagner, will use Lowe as their scapegoat.

They can't bring themselves to blame what they see, so they lay blame on something they don't have a clue about.

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#146 vetinari
December 07 2013, 09:50PM
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Damn you Smid... you now play for the enemy but I can't muster the venom to hate you... I just wish that you would have been traded to a GOOD team or one that would make the playoffs before 2024...

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#147 James
December 07 2013, 09:51PM
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@Alsker

Are you talking at the end of the period? Because he was, the refs pulled him out of the scrum.

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#148 Alsker
December 07 2013, 09:52PM
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Ryan Pike wrote:

Fun Fact: The Flames AHL team is really, really good.

Which means? Thats like taking your cousin to the dance or kissing your sister....OKC was really good last year and it amounted to.....yup, dicksh*t.

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#149 Jackson
December 07 2013, 09:53PM
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Oilers are a bad team that does not know how to play a 200 ft game.

Look at their record from 2006-2007 to now.

Same team as ever. Whose fault who knows, only constant is Kevin Lowe.

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#150 EugeneV
December 07 2013, 09:55PM
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Jeremy wrote:

Soooooooo, you mean Hemsky, right?

Really any of those players who can't make a basic play that I would expect my 8 year old to make.

Baertschi, Backlund, Hemsky etc...

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