GDB 31.0: THE BOA

Wanye
December 07 2013 01:11PM

 

Proud new parents Traci and Jason welcomed their son Beckett William Douglas Gregor into the world on December 4th, 2013. This Battle of Alberta article is dedicated to him.

We met a nice little fellow at an Oilers game a few weeks back. Standing in line for pizza we saw that we were both sporting the Eberle 14 and got to talking business. "I am 8 years old and I haven't seen the Oilers in the playoffs once" we were informed in no uncertain terms by our fellow Oilers fan.

Doing some quick mental math we calculated he was indeed alive for the glorious run of '06. "What about the Cup run? You were alive for that" we replied. The kid rolled his eyes as only kids can towards moron adults and said matter of factly "yeah but I was just a baby so that doesn't count."

"Well what is your best Oilers memory then" we asked. "I dunno," came the reply after some time. "Maybe Yak sliding across the ice after that goal?"

Yikes. By the time we were 8 years old the Oilers had already won the Stanley Cup 4 times. 

Your average 8 year old Oilers fan been alive for the playoffs exactly once and we have it on good authority that the one year apparently doesn't count. And before you start laughing Flames fans things aren't much better down there having missed the playoffs four years in a row.

Look at little Cameron here, taken to his first Oilers game by my main man @clayballs22 the other night.  See the intent gaze in Cameron's eyes? There is no mistaking that look. He is there to see Oilers wins. Fellas like Cameron deserve great memories of their team as a tyke which will cement his status as a superfan later on in life.

We pity these kids of today. No wins, no playoffs, nothing to get excited about re-enacting whilst playing mini stick hockey at recess until you break your little wooden stick on another kid in overtime and get a half day suspension in the library and a lifetime ban from recess hockey.*

That's what being a lil fan of the Oilers or Flames is all about. Not rebuilds, labour disruptions and cheering for Entry Draft lottery wins.

We want better hockey in the next 8 years than we have seen in the past 8. If not for the sake of our shattered heart and expectations but for kids like Paul, dressed in his Oilers finery by proud dad @dahoosman in the expectation he too will become a big fan if he isn't already. 

Heck we even want better hockey for you Calgary, for all the poor misguided kids wearing Flames jerseys for whom the Igninla years will only be a story from before their time. Here's hoping to the emergence of the next generation of Iginlas in the North and South of Alberta that the Becketts, Camerons and Pauls will tell teach their kids about one day.

And here's to the Battle of Albertas of tomorrow. Games where there are playoff implications, with both sides dreading having to face each other down the stretch. Epic pitched battles on minus 30 nights that will cause kids like Beckett William Douglas Gregor to replay the game over and over again in his mind as he tries in vain to sleep after the final whistle.

Magic games that will ignite a whole new generation of fans of our respective teams.

*The Life of Wanye Gretz circa 1987

LINES - EDM - 14th place (10-18-2)

Hall - Gagner - Yakupov

Perron - The Nuge - Eberle

Smyth - Arcobello - Hemsky

Gazdic - Lander - Jones

Ference - Larsen

N. Schultz - J. Schultz

Marincin - Petry 

Dubnyk

LINES - CGY - 13th place - (10-14-2)

The Flames hadn't tweeted their lines as of press time here so this lineup is the latest from our friends over at DailyFaceOff.com: 

Cammalleri - Stajan - Stempniak 

Hudler - Backlund - D. Jones 

Baertschi - Byron - B. Jones 

MacDermid - Bouma - Smith

Butler - Giordano

Russell- Brodie

Smid - O'Brien

Berra

Expect last minute changes to both lineups as game time nears.

GAME DAY PREDICTION: Since I'm going to the game, the Oilers will win. Sir Eberle pots a pair as the Oilers win 5-1.

OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: Considering I forgot to include this with the original article, the Oilers will get off to a slow start, but like just my beer consumption at the game, they will pick up speed in the final few periods and cruise to victory.

NOT-SO-OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: I've decided to ditch my Eberle jersey for this game and go with my new Gazdic. I don't expect Lucky Luke to score very often, but after fighting that behemoth McGratton, I felt the urge to support Gazdic. My new jersey is also popular with the ladies, and Wanye Manor will be rocking later tonight after the Gaz Man picks up unexpected second-period assist and makes me look good to some unlucky lady who had three Rexall Beers.

UPDATE: THESE PREDICTIONS ARE COUNTERFEIT HAVING BEEN ADDED BY PAPA GREGOR IN MY NAME - WG

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#251 Darrell
December 07 2013, 10:11PM
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Ricky wrote:

Oilers are losing to the worst team on paper in the NHL and they are missing players and some are sick tonight and playing.

Ha Ha Ha

On my screen - your an idiot !

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#252 Slats
December 07 2013, 10:26PM
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Nuge is so overdue man I hope he wins this tonight

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#253 Slats
December 07 2013, 10:37PM
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momentum changer . . . hole in the ice . .

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#254 Arius Mumin
December 07 2013, 10:44PM
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YFC Prez wrote:

He's definitely taken a ridiculous step backwards this season. All we can do is speculate I guess.

hahahahahaha

we can speculate when it comes to Gagner's bullsh!t, but when it comes to Oilers bullsh!t: we can be sure it is the fault of Kevin Lowe.

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#255 @Oilanderp
December 07 2013, 10:48PM
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Reg Dunlop wrote:

Flames deserve the win as they outworked the oil in a very close contest. What could be more depressing than 'very close contest'? The Flames are the least talented squad in the league and they are a better team than the oil after 4 rebuilding years. May as well laugh or I'll cry. Good night sports fans.

Here is a crow. Eat up. :)

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#256 Slats
December 07 2013, 10:49PM
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Fist - Yeah Baby!!!

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#257 Bryzarro World
December 08 2013, 11:06AM
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Loyal Oil wrote:

Now this is a really really good question the Edmonton sports 'journalists' (aka puppets) are not asking.

What was their record with and without Smid?

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#258 Jeff In Lethbridge
December 07 2013, 08:34PM
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McGratton vs Perron... wait for it!!!

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#259 @Oilanderp
December 07 2013, 08:50PM
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Wow that's enough postage to send all the xmas gifts back home!

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#260 @Oilanderp
December 07 2013, 08:59PM
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@Jeff In Lethbridge

Yeah, 1-0 game, GOALIES U BLOW!!!! Is this on canucksarmy? I've got my bicycle hand-pump if we need to pump some tires.

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#261 @Oilanderp
December 07 2013, 09:17PM
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Nice saves Dubey. Rookie d-men!

*shudder*

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#262 Alsker
December 07 2013, 09:47PM
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We crash the net on the PP, oh ya 89 not on the ice, makes perfect sense.

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#263 @Oilanderp
December 07 2013, 10:05PM
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Berra playing good and lucky. Lames playin good solid D in front of him. A lot of pressure by the Oil late in the second. You've GOT to think they are going to tie it up come the next period.

Still time for the 5 unanswered goals called for by Wanye!

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#264 James
December 07 2013, 10:07PM
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@YFC Prez

True enough. He definitely hasn't been the same player this season. His smarts seem to have left him for whatever reason.

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#265 Darrell
December 07 2013, 10:22PM
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Ricky wrote:

What an idiot

Thanks Bubbles - go feed your cats ...

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#266 Slats
December 07 2013, 10:23PM
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ok it's the 10 minute mark of the 3rd time for Calgary to give this one away with 3 unanswered....

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#267 Slats
December 07 2013, 10:41PM
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fLames saves/blocked shots 32 Berra 16

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#268 YFC Prez
December 07 2013, 10:45PM
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hallsy!!!!! That 30 seconds had more action than the rest of the game.

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#269 Walter White
December 07 2013, 11:07PM
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YFC Prez wrote:

Don't you have some meth to cook?

Blue ice..................WW

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#270 Professor Q
December 07 2013, 11:32PM
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@kgo

Do you mean Berra?

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#271 Ryan Pike
December 07 2013, 07:44PM
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Scratches: CGY - Smith, Breen, Baertschi. EDM - Joensuu, Belov, Potter.

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#272 Ryan Pike
December 07 2013, 07:56PM
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Starters:
CGY: Berra, Brodie, Russell, Stempniak, Cammalleri, Stajan
EDM: Dubnyk, Ference, Larsen, Perron, Eberle, Nugent-Hopkins

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#273 @Oilanderp
December 07 2013, 08:48PM
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Scrummy!

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#274 James
December 07 2013, 09:51PM
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@Alsker

Are you talking at the end of the period? Because he was, the refs pulled him out of the scrum.

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#275 Alsker
December 07 2013, 09:52PM
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Ryan Pike wrote:

Fun Fact: The Flames AHL team is really, really good.

Which means? Thats like taking your cousin to the dance or kissing your sister....OKC was really good last year and it amounted to.....yup, dicksh*t.

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#276 EugeneV
December 07 2013, 09:55PM
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Jeremy wrote:

Soooooooo, you mean Hemsky, right?

Really any of those players who can't make a basic play that I would expect my 8 year old to make.

Baertschi, Backlund, Hemsky etc...

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#277 @Oilanderp
December 07 2013, 10:38PM
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@Alsker

Sad I've decided to watch Distink 9 instead of this crapfest, aliens seem more explainable than our beloved Oilers...I hate KBlowe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fixed.

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#278 Alsker
December 07 2013, 10:44PM
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@Oilanderp wrote:
Sad I've decided to watch Distink 9 instead of this crapfest, aliens seem more explainable than our beloved Oilers...I hate KBlowe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fixed.

Whooops, I meant district 9...sorry!!!!!!!!!!

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#279 Arius Mumin
December 07 2013, 10:45PM
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WHAT!in da mutha#@$%!

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