GDB 17.0: AFTERNOON DELIGHT

Wanye
February 23 2013 12:44PM

The Oilers play the Coyotes today in your classic garden variety matinee. This is great news for the Oilers who are a mind shattering 0-2346 in franchise history in afternoon matches.

Fortunately the NHL schedule makers in their infinite wisdom have decided that the Oil need to get over this en route to their eventual domination of the NHL and have put a good many afternoon games on their lockout shortened 2013 schedule.

GOOD NEWS BAD NEWS GOOD NEWS

The good news: Ryan Michael Stewart Jones (actual name) is back in the lineup for the Oilers after missing the first 16 games of the season with an injury sustained when a stick? skate? meteor? smashed him near his eye hole. The Return of the Flow can only be considered good news for an Oilers lineup that needs a bit of sand paper these days. The fact Jones potted 17 tucks last year is also good news for the team too which is inexplainably lacking offense in the past couple of weeks.

The bad news: Taylor Hall is serving the first game of a two game suspension for his hit on Cal Clutterbuck. Apparently "what goes around comes around" wasn't a sufficient defense strategy for the Oilers in defending #4 so he will be sitting somewhere in the building wearing a snazzy suit and will get the obligatory camera time where he looks remorseful whilst watching his team compete.

LINES

Per warmup:

Eager - L'il Nuge - Eberle

Hartikainen - Gagner - Hemsky

Eager - Belanger - Jones

Yakupov - Vande Velde-Paajarvi (not confirmed)

It's unclear who the fourth line will be as of the time this article went to press and has not been released by the Oilers for this early game. Petrell is slated as good to go on the Oilers website but a tweet from the official Oilers account said that he has been placed on the injured reserve list. Confusing times these!

We can't find any mention of the D-pairings being released either yet either but you can probably count on:

N.Schultz-J.Schultz

Smid-Petry

Fistric - Potter

Khabibulin gets the start between the pipes

PREDICITONS

GAME DAY PREDICTION: Despite the fact that logic and experience states this will be a snoozer we will go out on a limb and say that the youthful Oilers catch the flat lining Coyotes napping and win 5-2. Goals by Eberle (clearly) Smyth, Nuge and J. Schultz. Ryan Jones will also pot a marker in his first game back.

OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: Gene Principe will have some hilarious insight into the return of Ryan Jones. This could involve a wig of some variety or a pun involving "keeping up with the Jones." In either case half the Oilers fans watching will groan with pain and the other half will cheer with delight.

NOT-SO-OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: In the post game interviews Ryan Jones will let it slip that his eye injury was self inflicted and his time out of the lineup was unnecessary. "I heard about the Hair Massacre and wanted nothing to do with chopping of my signature flow. So I faked it. So what? There was a lockout and I wasn't going to play that many games anyways." In an adjoining room, Steve Tambellini asks for a chair so that he can sit down and properly assess the situation.

NATION 5th BIRTHDAY PARTY UPDATE

See this here beauty? That's UFC Ring Girl and Maxim Model Arianny Celeste. She is in Edmonton for an event on March 1st and the kind folks at the Rack are going to bring her by Pint on Whyte to pose for pictures and say hello at some point during the birthday party.

"We can't imagine too many girls are going to the party Wanye," we were told by text "so we thought we would bring in an all world hottie to say hello. Maybe it will inspire you to talk to a girl yourself later in the night."

Classic.

Tickets can be bought for only $20 and come with a limited edition 5th Birthday T-Shirt, a $25 Oodle Noodle GC, a $20 Pint GC, and Labatt swag. And all the proceeds go to the Inner City Children's Fund. You should come - there is going to be at least one mega babe in attendance!

*swoons*

Click here for tickets.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
Avatar
#51 Saytalk
February 23 2013, 07:12PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

Anyone see Erik Condra's goal in the Ottawa-Toronto game tonight? I'd love to see our wingers simply go to the net on a consistent basis and start scoring some flukey ones like that.

Avatar
#52 dougtheslug
February 23 2013, 07:13PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
vetinari wrote:

Why would we trade away our 22 year centre who's leading the only team that he has always played for, for another team's contract holdout?

Better question is Why would Colorado do it?

Avatar
#53 paul K
February 23 2013, 07:18PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

@dougtheslug

They wouldn't they know to win a cup you need a 2 way center on your top 2 lines.

Avatar
#54 Harlie
February 23 2013, 07:40PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
DSF wrote:

The House that Bettman Bought

The House the *Q-Tips are paying for.

* White hair, white shoes

Avatar
#55 a lg dubl dubl
February 23 2013, 07:49PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
Paul K wrote:

First of all this is a business, second O'Reilly would make this team better.

maybe he would make this team better, but like I said he reminds me of Lindros way to much right now. The guy id ask about if Im talkin to the Avs is Dueshene(sp?.) He would make this team better for sure!

Comments are closed for this article.