March 28 2013 11:31AM
1. Iginlawatch reaches its logically insane conclusion
The clock was still ticking (as of this writing, anyhow) on the looming Jarome Iginla trade that seemed to have grown inevitable even as everyone is still sitting around looking for reasons that it won't happen. And then it really, finally, actually happened, and I had to go back and change everything.
I loved the reports that the price was too high. Classic stuff of the teams playing the media against each other. Calgary wanted Malcolm Subban. Well Calgary couldn't have Malcolm Subban. But like they really wanted him and stuff. No for real though, back off on Subban or this wasn't happening. Please? No. Okay I guess.
It went like that. It reached a head yesterday when Peter friggin' Chiarelli went on the radio and said, "Look dudes seriously I'm not trading Malcolm Subban for anyone. Period." And people still didn't believe him. The Bruins are still desperate for goals, even if Milan Lucic did score a vintage Milan Lucic goal the other night and then they pumped five past Petr Budaj in a loss, and even if it seems likely that the offense might be starting to turn around, it certainly doesn't hurt to have Jarome Iginla kicking around on the roster just to make sure the pucks keep going past the guy with the big pads and the funny stick (not that it helped Calgary).
This was always going to happen. The media was already working glowing quotes about his reputation and ability out of current Bruins — "Lucic sez the B's would LOVE a guy like Iginla on the roster!!!!!" — and the arguments in favor of the move had been loud, while those against it the kind of meek "yes, but" logic-based malarkey that so often gets shouted down in this town. The Boston media gets needlessly hysterical about everything, and most seemed willing to twist a broken bottle in someone's face to get Calgary's captain on board. Leadership and all that.
Meanwhile, the man himself and his long-time team were both throwing gasoline on the fire by refusing to comment in any way, on or off the record, on the situation. This was classic "We're going to trade our captain" stuff, and it seems they're just trying to boost the market while softening the blow at the same time.
Not that it ended up working. Because the Flames ended up sending him, instead, to Pittsburgh for two good but not great college players and a first-round pick. Guess that thing about a roster player was a load of crap after all. God damn, Feaster.
I always thought they would trade him, personally, but their not doing so would have been no surprise at all. It's the Flames we're talking about. I don't expect them to handle anything correctly these days. That they did this time, two years too late at least, is some small consolation.
2. The Kiprusoff situation
Lots being made of Nick Kypreos's report that Miikka Kiprusoff told the Flames he won't report if he's traded because of his family. Is it noble, or at least understandable, that he would feel that way? Sure. Does this say to me that he's going to retire like 20 minutes after the season's over? You bet it does.
This was my immediate thought on the matter; if he won't go now for family reasons and doesn't have much of a financial incentive to stick around next season ($1.5 million? Peanuts.), then he's got some seats booked on the first flight to Finland on April 27. That was backed up by Mike Keenan's comments about the understanding between team and netminder that he would never play the last season of this contract — which is as interesting as it is clearly-cap-circumventing — and certainly speak to just how little appetite both sides likely have to run this particular race for 82 more games next season.
Fortunately, this is all stuff we probably won't have to worry about because no one on earth is dumb enough to trade for Miikka Kiprusoff circa 2013. Except maybe Dave Nonis.
3. A road woes whoa
So the loss in Chicago was the Flames' 10th straight on the road, which is notable and bad and speaks to just how abject this team is in pretty much all facets. They've been outscored 40-15 in those games, which is just... wow. Giving up four goals a game, okay sure this is a bad defensive team. But only scoring 1.5? That wasn't something I think most people foresaw for any stretch of the season beyond a game or two.
And moreover, look who they're giving up scads of goals against. Five each against Nashville and Columbus, two of the worst attacks in the league, four against Dallas which isn't much better. Five against Colorado. Four against Phoenix. What's even happening? Okay sure they only allowed two to Chicago, but that was all luck; they only mustered 16 shots in 60 minutes, which I don't have to tell you is embarrassing.
The thing with the Flames, too, is they're so bad that they're not even interesting-bad. They're brutal-to-watch bad. I just wish the season was over already.
4. Feaster (and everyone else) blows another one
One great way to make a team less bad to watch is to, like, get good players. At least that's how I feel. That is not, however, how the Calgary Flames or any of the other 28 teams that are not the Carolina Hurricanes feel.
No one bothered to claim Good Forward Jussi Jokinen off waivers for free, and, as someone who I forget who it was pointed out on Twitter, one of them will soon give up actual assets to acquire Ryane Clowe and all sorts of other appreciably worse forwards within the next few days. The Flames doing this in particular is dumb because they just did that thing of wasting a pick to acquire a guy who notably sucks (Brian McGrattan) already and apparently learned nothing.
Ah but the argument was that he was signed for another $3 million next season. Wow. Great. The Flames will still be bad and nowhere near the playoffs, and will also have a useful forward who can help to drive possession and maybe make them not the least aesthetically pleasing team I've ever seen in my life. Plus maybe they'd win a shootout every once in a while. I don't know. It all seems dumb as hell to me. But then this is, again, the Flames we're talking about. I don't know what else I ever expected.
5. You knew this was coming
For the very very very last time.