FGD: One Tin Soldier - The Legend of City Yak

Vintage Flame
April 01 2013 04:10PM

 

After Shelbyville showed us all that even a broken clock is right twice a day, the Battle of Alberta gamethread is back where it belongs. Oh and if you don’t get the reference in the title? Google is your friend.

Tonight, two teams on completely different roads will cross paths once again, where scoreboard watching will be put aside in favour of compulsory disdain and a sheer desire to lay the boots to one of your oldest rivals. Since 2009, it has been the Flames doing the majority of kicking, leading the head-to-head series 19-4.

Much has changed since the Flames and the Oilers last met on January 27th (when the good guys won 4-3), as Calgary seems to have taken a page out of the Oilers operational book and are on a slide towards the bottom of the league. The Oilers, meanwhile, are on the cusp of making a push towards unfamiliar territory of their own… the playoffs.

Somehow it seems fitting that these two squads would meet up today, April 1st. What has in recent history been dubbed the “Battle of Albrutal”, where either team is in the standings has been irrelevant because neither ever wants to lose this match-up, neither want to be the fool.

The Line-Up

We all know who the obvious loss to the lineup is, but we shouldn't forget who still is. Curtis Glencross loves himself a piece of the Oilers whenever the chance presents itself.

The Flames lineup is probably written in pencil, due to wide speculation around who might be staying and who might be leaving. Fronting the list is Jay Bouwmeester, with destinations including both Detroit and St. Louis. Others that are also coming up to be on the move are the likes of Tanguay, Sarich, Cammallerri and of course Glencross.

Very few are safe these days and there is going to be a lot of speculation leading right up to April 3rd. For now, here’s how SNET’s Pat Steinberg has the lines shaping up.

  • Glencross-Stajan-Stempniak
  • Tanguay-Cammallerri-Comeau
  • Hudler-Backlund-Cervenka
  • McGrattan-Begin-Jackman

  • Brodie-Bouwmeester
  • Giordano-Wideman
  • Butler-Sarich

  • Kiprusoff

The Oilers have to be licking their chops at the thought of facing Miikka Kiprusoff tonight with his less than stellar performance between the pipes this year. However he is also 15-2 in his last 17 starts against Edmonton with a 2.43 GAA. He will have to be “that guy” tonight in order to give his team a legit chance at putting a dent in the Oilers’ playoff hopes.

It will also be very interesting to see how long Hartley leaves the Czech’s with Backlund. Cervenka has been playing with a lot more confidence and certainty in the month of March, and Backlund’s creative and bold play is an interesting match that has the potential to pay dividends.

The Village Idiots

The Oil have won three straight for the first time this season. That is part of a 6-2-2 record in their last ten that has them sitting 11th in the conference, just two points out of the top eight.

It’s no secret that the Oilers’ Achilles heel (other than playing in the NHL) has been from the blueline. This morning they penned Ladislav Smid to a four year extension with an AAV of $3.5 Million. That’s sure to be enough to put them over the hump right? Relax Shelbyville dwellers, we know, we know… “Laddy” is a great shot-blocker and he has all the intangibles right? RIGHT?

It’s a good thing the defence is all sorted out, now Ralph Kreuger can figure what the hell is wrong with his highly touted offensive talent. “Yak City” is more of a ghost town these days, registering just one assist in his last five games and hasn’t been part of the Oilers late push. In fact he hasn’t found the back of the net since February 25th, and only has 5 assists during the entire month of March.

Things aren’t that rosy for RNH this season either. The young center has a meagre three goals on sixty-six shots, giving him a whopping personal shooting percentage of 3.0%. That’s a far cry from last season’s 13.4% pace. Then again, I suppose it’s okay to fall off a cliff when you know you will safely land on the coat-tails of Taylor Hall. Well done Nuuuuuuge.

  • Hall-Nugent-Hopkins-Eberle
  • Paajarvi-Gagner-Hemsky
  • Jones-Horcoff-Yakupov
  • Petrell-Smyth-Brown

  • Smid-Petry
  • N. Schultz-J. Schultz
  • Whitney-Potter

  • Dubnyk

Sum it Up

Game Day Prediction: The Flames scrape the barrel for what remaining ounce of dignity they have left and continue the Alberta trend by winning this one 5-3; snapping their road loss streak at nine.

Obvious Game Day Prediction: Curtis Glencross sticks it once again to the team that let him go, showing two versions of his infamous “Scoreface”

Not-so-Obvious Game Day Prediction: Hot on the heels of scoring his fastest hat-trick in Oilers history, Taylor Hall is about due for some mis-hap that has always seem to keep him out of games against Calgary. Tonight will be no different as he and his buck-toothed face will be mistaken for the Easter Bunny, so all the other barely pubescent children on the team will bug him about not getting enough candy this weekend.

What makes this whole situation really funny is that the average Oil fan is like some giddy, pimpled-faced nerd who finally landed that date with his lab partner’s sister. They say they have been waiting for this day, this day of retribution. When all the stars are aligned and the Oil can take back the pride that the Flames have, for the last decade or so, used to clean their skate blades after the game.

Newsflash… We know, we’ve seen this coming for a long time too guys. What makes it funny though is that despite everything, the losses, the bad trades, the injuries… whatever you want to jeer Calgary about this time, they just keep beating the Oilers.

These days, for Flames fans.. that’s not quitte enough for now. However, for added entertainment, Flames fans appreciate the fans up North, the ones that are convinced that this is finally it. The time for the Oilers to take that step forward out of the mire and take their rightful place at the fornt of the class. That’s just awesome and I sincerely hope the Oilers do make the playoffs this year. It will make it that much better when they are bounced decisively and the Oilers management is left shaking their heads as to what went wrong.

One last thing…

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Vintage Flame is a Calgary based sports junkie that prefers to call hockey a "religion" rather than an addiction. He believes there are two types of hockey fans. Those who cheer for the Flames, and those who don't understand the sport yet. Follow Vintage_Flame on Twitter
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#101 Justin
April 01 2013, 04:38PM
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Young inconsistent team. Oilers could look horrible tonight and it would not be a surprise.

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#102 RalphsFavorite
April 01 2013, 04:40PM
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Lander was called up. Lines should be different.

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#103 Starving Student
April 01 2013, 04:43PM
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Keep waiting for Wanye's war cry upon see that picture! Nobody besmirches the might name of Jordan Eberle and gets away with it!

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#104 jeremywilhelm
April 01 2013, 04:43PM
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Also, the Oiler fans in here are probably the least intellegent and thin skinned turds I have ever seen.

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#105 jeremywilhelm
April 01 2013, 04:52PM
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@The Soup Fascist

That actually isn't the definition of irony at all. But please, play again!!

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#106 Ari Gold
April 01 2013, 04:57PM
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Bloody brilliant final note. Left me a great feeling of rage and pleasure. I hope the Oil stick the Flames with something sharp and rusty tonight.

Go Oil!!

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#107 Craig
April 01 2013, 05:00PM
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Flames win 4-1. The kids still can't handle the heat. Oilers fans suck, nothing new happening here.

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#108 Wheresyourtowel
April 01 2013, 05:00PM
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Won't take these games for granted as the Flames do seem to play above their record vs the Oil.

That said, I hope this is the beginning of the worst two weeks the Flames play all season. When our crack at the playoffs comes, we'll try to win at least one series during our period of "dominance".

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#109 velo
April 01 2013, 05:02PM
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Good grief...I always love it when fLames fans try to give it to Oiler fans. The cartoon has Gretzky vs. Larry McDonald's or whatever his name is. Seriously? What's next? A mock-up of Messier arm wrestling Loob? Sheesh!

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#110 non descript
April 01 2013, 05:07PM
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jeremywilhelm wrote:

That actually isn't the definition of irony at all. But please, play again!!

please, for our entertainment, define ironic.

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#111 northof51
April 01 2013, 05:08PM
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That was rich. Any Flamers want to do a Scoreface for Human Pylon (Ryan Whitney) trade? That would guarantee a 30th overall finish for you and top odds at the top pick (although playing on the road should pretty much have the same effect).

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#112 Jay
April 01 2013, 05:09PM
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Jay wrote:

Wouldn't be hard research to figure out who the Lames are gonna draft top 5 this year. Just look for a college player with a last name ending in owski...

Wait... I take this back, there's gotta be an owski playing in high school somewhere?? Someone check the 'metro high school boys league'

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#113 jeremywilhelm
April 01 2013, 05:10PM
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non descript wrote:

please, for our entertainment, define ironic.

The use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning.

Or just feel free to read a book once in a while.

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#114 Mac962
April 01 2013, 05:16PM
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Iggy for weird Al Yankovich.... hmmmm not bad Feaster.

I have a rotten ronnies gift card for you.

Flames i didnt think it is was possible to worse Mgmt than us... Once again Calgary you one up Edmonton.. LOL Losers.

L-L-L-L-L-L-L aughing stock, get use to it horse crap city.

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#115 bookofloob
April 01 2013, 05:18PM
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Wanye Gretz seems like the kind of guy who takes long showers.

Just throwing that out into the world

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#116 OilClog
April 01 2013, 05:19PM
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12-1 Yakupov gets 5

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#117 Just too funny
April 01 2013, 05:21PM
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Boys Boys Boys

12th v 14th talking like its 1989 again and you are contenders not pretenders. Oh if that was only the case. In my opinion i believe MANY of the posters on thsi site were still playing with Ninja turtle action figures. As some one who remembers the late 1980's and the terrific BOA tht took place , the past 2 decades have been a cheap knock off.

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#118 Lowkick
April 01 2013, 05:27PM
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Lets take it easy on the lames fans here boys. They're on the edge of severe depression and we don't need to shove them over the cliff. There a good team with a bright future! Sure they offer sheeted a player that needed waivers, sure they traded their franchise player for assets that will never appear in the NHL. Sure there highest paid player has 10 seasons with no playoffs. But at least they have...... Um....

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#119 Truth
April 01 2013, 05:31PM
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jeremywilhelm wrote:

The use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning.

Or just feel free to read a book once in a while.

This is getting good.

Everyone please Google "irony dictionary".

Can it get more entertaining?

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#120 oilman3
April 01 2013, 05:32PM
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jeremywilhelm wrote:

The use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning.

Or just feel free to read a book once in a while.

ironic - Something is ironic if the result is the opposite of what was intended.

I would say misspelling intelligent when putting down Oiler fans' intelligence would fit the description. Maybe you should quit while you're behind.

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#121 Slats
April 01 2013, 05:32PM
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@Vintage fLame

What was harder coming up with a recent positive and something to put into this final BOA article

OR

. . .having to write any of those names as your Top 6 forwards - Comeau, Stajan, Stempn . . .(stopped writing for laughter . . .endless laughter)

GOILERS

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#122 Jay
April 01 2013, 05:39PM
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oilman3 wrote:

ironic - Something is ironic if the result is the opposite of what was intended.

I would say misspelling intelligent when putting down Oiler fans' intelligence would fit the description. Maybe you should quit while you're behind.

PWNED

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#123 oilman3
April 01 2013, 05:39PM
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the flames are horrible but we all know they're going to be working their collective asses off tonight as beating the oilers is as close to any kind of success they can hope to have for the foreseeable future. if the oilers can put forth an effort even in the ballpark of the flames, they should win easily.

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#124 Jay
April 01 2013, 05:51PM
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It's nice of the flames to give the oilers a warmup game against AHL'ers for their playoff stretch drive. Please play kipper please play kipper haha

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#125 vetinari
April 01 2013, 05:56PM
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Today's April Fools Day joke from the Flames is that they say that they plan to field a NHL team for the rest of the season...

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#126 treblecharger
April 01 2013, 05:57PM
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The Soup Fascist wrote:

Definition of "IRONY" - spelling "intelligent" wrong while informing people how dumb you think THEY are.

Thanks Calgary, you never let us down!

PS Dont even think of correcting it now, Jethro.

annnnndddd...TSF wins the GDB! Well played, sir!

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#127 vetinari
April 01 2013, 06:01PM
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And to insult to injury to Flames fans, tsn.ca reports that the Flames have given permission to the Leafs to discuss a trade and extension with Kipper's people... bye-bye Kipper...

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#128 Scary Gary
April 01 2013, 06:05PM
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ghostofberanek wrote:

Wow, just....wow. Does this guy watch hockey at all? This is a prime example of your typical Calgarian, no class and delusional. Is Glencross your big star then?

Maybe not a first liner but GlenX has three more goals than Hall...

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#129 justDOit
April 01 2013, 06:09PM
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I'm ready to go tonight boys, if you need me to fill in for that Jerome fella. Ricky and Julian will take care of the water bottles tonight, and Randy is bringing some cheeseburgers, so don't you Flamers worry! I hope they allow smoking in the dressing room... Go Flamers!

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#130 Virtual_Xi
April 01 2013, 06:11PM
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@Scary Gary

Correct Statsmatician, he's also tied for 88th in points....Where's Hall?

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#131 negrilcowboy
April 01 2013, 06:12PM
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wow the battlin' comments are better than the hockey. hope i spell correctly would hate to be knocked down a peg or two.

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#132 Eddie Shore
April 01 2013, 06:14PM
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Scary Gary wrote:

Maybe not a first liner but GlenX has three more goals than Hall...

Hall has more assists than GlenX has points. Nice try.

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#133 DSF
April 01 2013, 06:15PM
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The first game of the relegation round between two dreadful organizations.

Nobody wins in the relegation round.

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#134 Slats
April 01 2013, 06:16PM
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Scary Gary wrote:

Maybe not a first liner but GlenX has three more goals than Hall...

oh I think we will keep "suffering along" with how Hall is doing (31-11-23 and +2) vs GlenX (31-14-8 and a -8).

Our 3rd line center in Gagner is also only 1 goal behind your #1 liner.

We like statistics too at the ON.

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#135 RSD
April 01 2013, 06:16PM
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@michael

Ha ha, bet you can't wait for that Jankowski kid to take over as the flames new dynamo, he's the new iginla, now that was an intelligent (notice the correct spelling?) pick right, RIGHT.

Yak CITY baby.

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#136 Scary Gary
April 01 2013, 06:23PM
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The 'Real' Ron Burgundy wrote:

Talk about cherry pickin stats

Why didn't you continue across the stats line and compare Glencross's assists of 8 to Hall's 23, or his -8 to Hall's +2.

Guess we will be able to compare them directly as Glencross is on your first line tonite.

Haha hey who needs goals right?! Just ask Nugg...

I think this one will be closer than most people think, all depends which version of Kipper shows up. 4-3 JayBo with the winner.

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#137 negrilcowboy
April 01 2013, 06:23PM
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so is kippa heading to the leafs? and what would the return be?

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#138 Scary Gary
April 01 2013, 06:29PM
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negrilcowboy wrote:

so is kippa heading to the leafs? and what would the return be?

Leafs were granted permission to talk to him.

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#139 Scary Gary
April 01 2013, 06:32PM
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Welcome to Oil Country wrote:

"We all know who the obvious loss in the lineup is..." He who shall not be named or "the player" is the only thing that kept the Flames in 9th place all these years.

Claiming Yak and Nuge are busts is just playing with fire and words your clearly gonna have to swallow later. We would attack your rising stars but you don't have any...

Flames fans prepare for years of losses starting with tonights. Its got to hurt. But whats got to hurt more is if JEROME IGINLA wins the cup he will bring it to his hometown, Oil Country.

It's Jarome, come...on!

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#140 Wax Man Riley
April 01 2013, 06:34PM
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non descript wrote:

please, for our entertainment, define ironic.

It's like rain on your wedding day.

A free ride, when you've already paid.

It's the good advice, that you just didn't take.

Who woulda thought..... it figures.

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#141 Milli
April 01 2013, 06:35PM
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When you look at the Lames lines, what do you call them? 4a, 4b, 4c........Man this is gonna be fun! I really, really hope the Lames extend feaster for well, forever!!! That guy makes Tambo look smart!

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#142 DSF
April 01 2013, 06:36PM
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Wax Man Riley wrote:

It's like rain on your wedding day.

A free ride, when you've already paid.

It's the good advice, that you just didn't take.

Who woulda thought..... it figures.

Alanis Morrisette.

Did you send her a quarter?

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Let's play "you might be a Flames fan". I'll go first...

If you're ignorant yet arrogant...

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#144 Romulus' Apotheosis
April 01 2013, 06:39PM
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DSF wrote:

Alanis Morrisette.

Did you send her a quarter?

Alanis deserves more of a "good grief" don't you think?

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#145 Mark-LW
April 01 2013, 06:42PM
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And isn't it ironic that none of those lines in her song are actually ironic

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#146 Wax Man Riley
April 01 2013, 06:42PM
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DSF wrote:

Alanis Morrisette.

Did you send her a quarter?

No, she still owes me...

Her 1995 song "You Oughta Know" was written about me, sooo....

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#147 Wax Man Riley
April 01 2013, 06:43PM
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Mark-LW wrote:

And isn't it ironic that none of those lines in her song are actually ironic

That's my favorite part, lol

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#148 FireOnIce
April 01 2013, 06:47PM
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All of this discussion reminds me of a quote from the wise sage Confucious:

"Arguing on the internet is like like running in the Special Olympics - even if you win, you're still retarded."

I can only hope that Brown/McGrattan show us the elusive 'Dance of the Bears'. Go Flames.

https://farm2.static.flickr.com/1368/987251565_22ea2338dd.jpg

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#149 Dennis
April 01 2013, 06:48PM
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@Scary Gary

Just like "Nugg" is actually Nuge?

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#150 DSF
April 01 2013, 06:52PM
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@Dennis

Hoppy.

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