FGD: Charlie Simmer Drinking Game

Kent Wilson
April 19 2013 12:10PM

 

 

The Ducks are in town tonight. They are this season's candidate for the "Wild Award" - the team who wins despite getting handily outshot. Anaheim is riding great SH% and SV% this year despite completely lackluster possession numbers and is a good bet to crash and burn down the road as a result.

Also, Miikka Kiprusoff is in net tonight, perhaps for the final time on Saddledome ice. He had a noteworthy performance against the Red Wings, so it would be good to see him go out on a strong one again tonight. As long the team still loses, of course.

But! None of that is as important as the inaugural Charlie Simmer Drinking Game. Long discussed on twitter and in the comments here, some of us will endeavour to make the CSDG a reality tonight with some help from our friends at Tilted Kilt.

The Rules

Many of you may be able to guess the rules to the game, but just in case:

1.) Drink whenever Charlie starts a sentence with "Again...". Drink twice if it is the first time he is referring to the topic at hand.

2.) Drink whenever Charlie talks about "feet moving" as being a key element of the game or why a given team or player is playing well/struggling.

3.) Drink whenever Charlie uses an awkward mixed metaphor or garbles a common turn of phrase.

4.) Drink whenever Charlie mentions "pucks and bodies to the net".

5.) Drink whenever Charlie talks about the need to "keep it simple".

6.) Drink twice if he mentions pucks and bodies to the net & keeping things simple in rapid succession.

7.) Finish your drink if Charlie uses 3 of the above elements consecutively. Ex: "Again, the Flames need to keep their feet moving and get pucks and bodies to the net."

8.) Drink whenever Rob Kerr signals Charlie to share memories/anecdotes from his career and Charlie keeps his response mostly bland and impersonal.

Again, memebers of the FN crew will be at TK tonight, including myself. We'll keep it simple with a $4/pint special (for FN readers only). Get your feet moving up 17th avenue or 4th street and join us.

If you wuss out and stay home, feel free to follow along with the proceedings there, be it with a case of pilsner or your favorite bottle of single malt scotch.

The Lineup

For those who still care about such things, here is the Flames probable roster for the contest:

  • Baertschi - Stajan - Stempniak
  • Glencross - Backlund - Hudler
  • Cervenka - Horak - Cammalleri
  • Jackman - Reinhart - McGrattan

  • Brodie - Sarich
  • Giordano - Butler
  • Babchuk - Carson

  • Kipper

Wideman didn't skate this morning, so Babchuk is in. Mark Cundari was recalled today, but is likely to wait to Sunday to see his first action in a Flames jersey. Brian McGrattan draws back in as does Roman Cervenka while Steve Begin and Ben Hanowski take a seat.

If the Flames don't lose with that blueline, well I'm not sure what to think, aside from maybe the hockey gods hate Calgary and its team.

39d8109299a9795cb3b41a4e9b49d501
Former Nations Overlord. Current FN contributor and curmudgeon For questions, complaints, criticisms, etc contact Kent @ kent.wilson@gmail. Follow him on Twitter here.
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#51 stretch14
April 19 2013, 07:01PM
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I thought the Flames had "too much pride" to tank. Shouldn't you guys be cheering for wins rather than losses? Funny how fast your prerogative changes when the shoe is on the other foot.

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#52 Jeff Lebowski
April 19 2013, 07:14PM
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This will be a big test for Brodie. Heavy forecheck from big fast guys.

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#53 RKD
April 19 2013, 07:50PM
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I think this is the end for Selanne, he had two four point games at the beginning of the season but has really cooled off. Since then he's had 9 points in the last 31. He's older than Jagr by a year but Jags seems to have that extra step right now.

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#54 T&A4Flames
April 19 2013, 08:09PM
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Ryan Pike wrote:

Headed down to the game as a civilian this evening. Should be fun/sloppy/emotional.

I believe I drew the short straw for post-game, but it may not be up until late.

That outta' be fun to read.

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#55 Baalzamon
April 19 2013, 08:26PM
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The Ducks should be ashamed of themselves for not leading this one. Seriously, they're facing a good AHL team.

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#56 T&A4Flames
April 19 2013, 08:29PM
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RKD wrote:

I propose Horak's nickname be Hordak like the villain in He-Man. He was way more powerful than Skeletor ever was.

I prefer Scorak. Hopefully he becomes a goal scorer.

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#57 RKD
April 19 2013, 08:32PM
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T&A4Flames wrote:

I prefer Scorak. Hopefully he becomes a goal scorer.

But GlenX is Scoreface, he owns that prefix like nobody's business! Not even Babs can improve our drafting position, well the night is still young.

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#58 Aussie Flame
April 19 2013, 08:35PM
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Judging by the lack of comments I'm guessing the csdg is going well

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#59 Vowswithin
April 19 2013, 08:47PM
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Drink up boys!!

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#60 T&A4Flames
April 19 2013, 09:10PM
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schevvy wrote:

Hey Kipper...shutout

I see what you're doing there. Well done.

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#61 ?
April 19 2013, 09:10PM
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Hope Backs is okay after that shot

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#62 ?
April 19 2013, 09:18PM
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Getting really sick of this Jim Hughson, Lando, Schanko commercial

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#63 RKD
April 19 2013, 09:18PM
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FYI, Iggy has 6 points in 8 games he's gone from .70 ppg to 0.75ppg. Jay-Bo has 4 points in 9 games, he's gone from .45ppg to .44 not to too much of a difference. Let's see how they do in playoffs.

No help from the Oilers, they are beating the Avs 4-1 and we are winning.

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#64 T&A4Flames
April 19 2013, 09:23PM
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RKD wrote:

FYI, Iggy has 6 points in 8 games he's gone from .70 ppg to 0.75ppg. Jay-Bo has 4 points in 9 games, he's gone from .45ppg to .44 not to too much of a difference. Let's see how they do in playoffs.

No help from the Oilers, they are beating the Avs 4-1 and we are winning.

At least we won't pass the Oil and give them a better draft.

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#65 daver
April 19 2013, 09:24PM
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You should write your post-game story wasted. I'll read it out loud in a drunk Homer Simpson voice.

Feaster tries to put together a roster that can win, and they lose; Feaster tries to put together a roster that will lose, and they win. FML.

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#66 Baalzamon
April 19 2013, 09:24PM
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@RKD

Actually, the Oilers are helping us. If they had lost, the Flames would leapfrog them in the standings.

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#67 schevvy
April 19 2013, 09:27PM
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It's actually hilarious the Flames haven't given up a goal, that blue line is AHL at best, especially bottom 4.

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#68 schevvy
April 19 2013, 09:31PM
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There's one!

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#69 ?
April 19 2013, 09:35PM
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Damnit Cervenka

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#70 schevvy
April 19 2013, 09:38PM
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Kipper! Kipper! Kipper!

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#71 Baalzamon
April 19 2013, 09:39PM
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Carlyle needs to tar and feather his team for this one. No excuse for not running away with this game.

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#72 schevvy
April 19 2013, 09:42PM
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@Baalzamon

You mean Boudreau?

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#73 lionlager
April 19 2013, 09:44PM
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Draft smaft. I guess.

KIPPER!

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#74 RKD
April 19 2013, 09:46PM
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OilLeak wrote:

Damn, can't the Flames even tank the right way?

We still have a shot, our next four games are on the road and we have a sterling 5-13-2 record to show for it. 3/4 opponents will be tough to beat: St. Louis, Minny, and Chicago.

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#75 RKD
April 19 2013, 09:48PM
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ChinookArch wrote:

Anyone know where I can stream this game live?

edit: never mind, I just looked at The Score? We freaking won again. What a joke. God hates the Flames.

I always use First Row Sports but tonight's feed was using NHL Gamecenter Live so they don't air the commercials and as soon as the game ends the SN feed stops. Most of the time you get the ads and the post-game show and right into Connected.

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#76 beloch
April 19 2013, 09:49PM
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Kipper went 0.970 and Brian freakin' MacGrattan embarassed the Duck's D and went coast-to-coast to score a goal that would have made Glencross proud.

On the one hand, this doesn't help the Flames' draft position. On the other hand, if this really was Kippers last game in the Dome, it's a sweet memory to leave us with.

Request for the post-game thread: Let's see some pics of Kipper saluting the crowd. You might as well throw in one of MacG doing it too!

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#77 T&A4Flames
April 19 2013, 10:08PM
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RKD wrote:

We still have a shot, our next four games are on the road and we have a sterling 5-13-2 record to show for it. 3/4 opponents will be tough to beat: St. Louis, Minny, and Chicago.

The real problem is that none of the teams below us seem to remember how to play hockey. They couldn't win to save their lives.

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#78 T&A4Flames
April 19 2013, 10:10PM
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It's gotta be giving the kids confidence that they can win at this level together.

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#79 RexLibris
April 19 2013, 10:45PM
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RKD wrote:

We still have a shot, our next four games are on the road and we have a sterling 5-13-2 record to show for it. 3/4 opponents will be tough to beat: St. Louis, Minny, and Chicago.

Careful. Don't jinx the road record before the away games start.

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#80 Kevin R
April 19 2013, 10:45PM
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Well I guess the moral of the story for Murray Edwards is that you can put together a better winning streak with young kids & 20 mill under the cap than you can with "stars". We'll be lucky to draft in 7th. It was fun to fantasize about getting a future franchise player while it lasted.

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#81 schevvy
April 19 2013, 10:51PM
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Still a chance at .500 ladies and gentlemen.......

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#82 McRib
April 19 2013, 11:18PM
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As much as I'd like to see the Flames draft in the Top 3 Florida, Colorado and Carolina have just given up!!! That said we will not win many more on the road and the past couple have been great not only for the young players but also it shows the league that we aren't quitters. Teams that "quit" have much longer rebuilds than the ones that don't, as a culture of accepting losing can take years to get over within itself.

Whether people like it or not Murray Edwards is going to spend money this offseason and bring in some Free Agents, his pockets/ego are just too large not to! The fact that we are winning means we might have an easer time getting decent players and not over pay, I also think that a rebuild without any decent (younger) veterans isn't the way to go either. Look at Edmonton they have ZERO guidance or leadership to take the next step.

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#83 McRib
April 19 2013, 11:26PM
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@Kevin R

"It was fun to fantasize about getting a future franchise player while it lasted"

This is the deepest draft since 2003 for good reason any pick in the Top. 10 would be a Top. 5 any other year!!! If you don't think Sean Monahan, Elias Lindholm or a Darnell Nurse are not future franchise type players than I don't know what to tell you. Considering Carolina or Tampa Bay could reach for a Valeri Nichushkin at 4/5 a very good prospect will still be available at 5-7 most likely in our range. And if we loose the next four (very likely) on the road we will be in the 4/5 range, which may still get you a Barkov or Drouin as I think Nurse might go higher than some are expecting. If Colorado, Carolina and Tampa Bay are drafting ahead of us and all miss out on Jones they all are in desperate need of a defender. Also from the sounds of it the Flames have said they are bringing up half of the Abbotsford team to finish the year and we were sitting veterans like Glencross and Wideman even before recent injuries.

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#84 Baalzamon
April 19 2013, 11:50PM
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@schevvy

It would seem I am behind the times. Or in an alternate universe.

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#85 Jibmeister
April 20 2013, 12:08AM
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I actually hope they re-sign McGrattan. He's a damn good fighter and despite the jokes we've all made he's not a terrible fourth liner. That was some kinda goal tonight, wow.

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#86 z1mmer
April 20 2013, 05:26AM
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Teams that "quit" have much longer rebuilds than the ones that don't, as a culture of accepting losing can take years to get over within itself.

Thank you for that.

It's easy to get... excited... about these overdue changes but Edmonton sucks.

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#87 Alt
April 20 2013, 07:56AM
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Feaster wants to package the 7th;23;30th picks and trade them all for the 3rd pick.

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#88 Glenn
April 20 2013, 08:26AM
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McRib wrote:

"It was fun to fantasize about getting a future franchise player while it lasted"

This is the deepest draft since 2003 for good reason any pick in the Top. 10 would be a Top. 5 any other year!!! If you don't think Sean Monahan, Elias Lindholm or a Darnell Nurse are not future franchise type players than I don't know what to tell you. Considering Carolina or Tampa Bay could reach for a Valeri Nichushkin at 4/5 a very good prospect will still be available at 5-7 most likely in our range. And if we loose the next four (very likely) on the road we will be in the 4/5 range, which may still get you a Barkov or Drouin as I think Nurse might go higher than some are expecting. If Colorado, Carolina and Tampa Bay are drafting ahead of us and all miss out on Jones they all are in desperate need of a defender. Also from the sounds of it the Flames have said they are bringing up half of the Abbotsford team to finish the year and we were sitting veterans like Glencross and Wideman even before recent injuries.

I definitely agree with you here. This draft is extremely deep. The Flames can do very well with thier own pick here, even at the 7/8 spot. Monahan, Lindholm and Nurse are all part of the mix for franchise type players.

Let's all pray Feaster doesn't screw this up. That's my biggest fear. The players will be there. Will we?

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