FGD: Charlie Simmer Drinking Game

Kent Wilson
April 19 2013 12:10PM

 

 

The Ducks are in town tonight. They are this season's candidate for the "Wild Award" - the team who wins despite getting handily outshot. Anaheim is riding great SH% and SV% this year despite completely lackluster possession numbers and is a good bet to crash and burn down the road as a result.

Also, Miikka Kiprusoff is in net tonight, perhaps for the final time on Saddledome ice. He had a noteworthy performance against the Red Wings, so it would be good to see him go out on a strong one again tonight. As long the team still loses, of course.

But! None of that is as important as the inaugural Charlie Simmer Drinking Game. Long discussed on twitter and in the comments here, some of us will endeavour to make the CSDG a reality tonight with some help from our friends at Tilted Kilt.

The Rules

Many of you may be able to guess the rules to the game, but just in case:

1.) Drink whenever Charlie starts a sentence with "Again...". Drink twice if it is the first time he is referring to the topic at hand.

2.) Drink whenever Charlie talks about "feet moving" as being a key element of the game or why a given team or player is playing well/struggling.

3.) Drink whenever Charlie uses an awkward mixed metaphor or garbles a common turn of phrase.

4.) Drink whenever Charlie mentions "pucks and bodies to the net".

5.) Drink whenever Charlie talks about the need to "keep it simple".

6.) Drink twice if he mentions pucks and bodies to the net & keeping things simple in rapid succession.

7.) Finish your drink if Charlie uses 3 of the above elements consecutively. Ex: "Again, the Flames need to keep their feet moving and get pucks and bodies to the net."

8.) Drink whenever Rob Kerr signals Charlie to share memories/anecdotes from his career and Charlie keeps his response mostly bland and impersonal.

Again, memebers of the FN crew will be at TK tonight, including myself. We'll keep it simple with a $4/pint special (for FN readers only). Get your feet moving up 17th avenue or 4th street and join us.

If you wuss out and stay home, feel free to follow along with the proceedings there, be it with a case of pilsner or your favorite bottle of single malt scotch.

The Lineup

For those who still care about such things, here is the Flames probable roster for the contest:

  • Baertschi - Stajan - Stempniak
  • Glencross - Backlund - Hudler
  • Cervenka - Horak - Cammalleri
  • Jackman - Reinhart - McGrattan

  • Brodie - Sarich
  • Giordano - Butler
  • Babchuk - Carson

  • Kipper

Wideman didn't skate this morning, so Babchuk is in. Mark Cundari was recalled today, but is likely to wait to Sunday to see his first action in a Flames jersey. Brian McGrattan draws back in as does Roman Cervenka while Steve Begin and Ben Hanowski take a seat.

If the Flames don't lose with that blueline, well I'm not sure what to think, aside from maybe the hockey gods hate Calgary and its team.

39d8109299a9795cb3b41a4e9b49d501
Former Nations Overlord. Current Fn contributor and curmudgeon For questions, complaints, criticisms, etc contact Kent @ kent.wilson@gmail. Follow him on Twitter here.
Avatar
#2 DirkNoshitsky
April 19 2013, 12:21PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
1
props

Double Drinks when Charlie mentions getting the puck "Up and Over" the opposition goaltender.

Triple Drink for the rare mainstay, "new NHL".

Avatar
#3 BurningSensation
April 19 2013, 12:21PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
3
props

Keep 911 on speed dial, my psychic powers fortell of alcohol poisoning in your future.

Avatar
#4 beloch
April 19 2013, 12:23PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
1
props

@Kent Wilson

Unless you reinterpret "drink" as "sip daintily with your pinky politely extended", playing this game can in no way be misconstrued as "enjoying responsibly".

Avatar
#5 jeremywilhelm
April 19 2013, 12:25PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Drink responsibly? The very idea sends hitthepost into hysterics.

Avatar
#6 Petemaherrocks
April 19 2013, 12:30PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
1
props

I'm glad to see jay and bob see the importance of losing , hopefully kipper won't steal the show tonite . Take penalties don't back check . Hoping for a three point game in Denver and Nashville pulling off a minor miracle

Avatar
#7 gotommygo
April 19 2013, 12:50PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

yeesh, that's a long list. Going to need a lot more than a case ...

Avatar
#8 Avalain
April 19 2013, 12:54PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

The only way you're going to enjoy responsibly with this game is if you order a lot of Responsibly beer ( www.enjoyresponsibly.ca/ ).

Avatar
#9 FireOnIce
April 19 2013, 12:58PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Love the lineup and inclusion of McGrattan. Going for the L.

Anaheim is going to crash and burn in the playoffs. They can't remain this good the entire way throughout. Look at Montreal, they're imploding and going to stumble over the finish line.

The biggest thing is that Brian Elliott is on fire. He needs to go back to being a POS. Where's Tonya Harding when you need her?

Avatar
#10 SeanCharles
April 19 2013, 12:59PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
1
props

"The gun went off"

Avatar
#11 Lordmork
April 19 2013, 12:59PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Thank god we're sitting Begin. We can't afford any more of his heroics if we want to draft high.

Avatar
#12 Dr. Philosophy
April 19 2013, 01:09PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

@Lordmork

Yes, Coach seems to be getting with the program. This is a shot across the bow--you score, you're out. You score two, you're definitely out. Simple as that.

Avatar
#13 Kurt
April 19 2013, 01:09PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Its gonna be awfully hard to follow Canada's official Low Risk Alchohol Guidelines..Yeesh..

http://www.ccsa.ca/Eng/Priorities/Alcohol/Canada-Low-Risk-Alcohol-Drinking-Guidelines/Pages/default.aspx

The Tips: #1) Drink slowly. Have no more than 2 drinks in any 3 hours. #2) For every drink of alcohol, have one non-alcoholic drink. #3) Eat before and while you are drinking.

It also says there is a zero alcohol rule if you are "making important decisions". Someone should tell Feaster.

Avatar
#14 Scoring_guru
April 19 2013, 01:38PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Easy on poor Chuckie! He is onto something. If you want to be successfull at ANY sport there are 3 things you need to do: Focus on the fundamentals, overcome adversity and always get back to basics.

Avatar
#16 Scoring_guru
April 19 2013, 01:54PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

@ Kent

I always thought so, but I keep hearing coaches, players and managers in all sports spouting the same thing over and over.....

Avatar
#17 RKD
April 19 2013, 02:02PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

It's all about Kipper tonight, he wouldn't even talk about his favourite memories as a Flame and said that's some to discuss later down the road. Perhaps a sign he isn't done? Heard Selanne is questionable, he might be a scratch just for maintenance. The returns of Babs just improved our chances to get a higher lottery pick. Maybe he'll score on his own net!

Avatar
#19 RexLibris
April 19 2013, 02:03PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

First off, why has nobody thought of this before?

Secondly, looking over those rules, I don't think many fans get past the first intermission. Not that this season hasn't required a little extra fortification.

Oilers plays the Avalanche tonight. Flames win and an Oilers loss would put them ahead, perhaps for the remainder of the season.

Avatar
#21 Lordmork
April 19 2013, 02:26PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Giordano what are you doing.

http://www.calgaryherald.com/sports/hockey/calgary-flames/Giordano+says+best+convince+Kipper+keep/8268208/story.html

Avatar
#22 Avalain
April 19 2013, 02:50PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Oh man, did Hartley really just say this?

“The medical world has made unbelievable progress,” Hartley said. “But there’s still no machine invented to find out the size of the heart.”

Avatar
#24 Baalzamon
April 19 2013, 03:09PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

holy. That blueline.. it's just... magnificent. If Getzlaf (or Perry, I'm not picky) doesn't score a hattrick tonight, he should be benched for the rest of the season.

Who do you even match against that line, anyway? I hope Babchuk. That would be good for some laughs. for Ducks fans.

Of course, knowing how much the hockey gods love us, this will be Chris Butler's first 5 point night, and McGrattan's first career hat trick.

Avatar
#25 Justin Azevedo
April 19 2013, 03:10PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
2
props

kent are we gonna die?

Avatar
#27 SmellOfVictory
April 19 2013, 03:46PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I hope the post-game article includes a run-down of the drinking game and its fallout.

Avatar
#28 ChinookArch
April 19 2013, 03:49PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I cannot make it to the Tilted Kilt, but in saying that I don't have to worry about how I'd get home.

Enjoy and for god sake, Lose Flames Lose! Lose Flames Lose!

Avatar
#30 bookofloob
April 19 2013, 03:59PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I just wanted to say it's been nice knowing all of you.

Avatar
#32 Willi P
April 19 2013, 04:13PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
RexLibris wrote:

First off, why has nobody thought of this before?

Secondly, looking over those rules, I don't think many fans get past the first intermission. Not that this season hasn't required a little extra fortification.

Oilers plays the Avalanche tonight. Flames win and an Oilers loss would put them ahead, perhaps for the remainder of the season.

Rex,

Exactly as you predicted in the first few games of the season, Flames would finish ahead of the Oilers. Betting you didn't think either team would end up this low in the standings however.

Avatar
#33 Craig
April 19 2013, 04:14PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Wish I was in Calgary to go to this and witness the first game of #tankmode.

Will drink from home.

Avatar
#34 Craig
April 19 2013, 04:14PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Wish I was in Calgary to go to this and witness the first game of #tankmode.

Will drink from home.

Avatar
#35 Ryan Pike
April 19 2013, 04:57PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Headed down to the game as a civilian this evening. Should be fun/sloppy/emotional.

I believe I drew the short straw for post-game, but it may not be up until late.

Avatar
#36 FireOnIce
April 19 2013, 05:00PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Granlund signed to ELC per a Flames release.

Avatar
#37 beloch
April 19 2013, 05:06PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Edmonton is playing Colorado tonight. I'm not sure who to root for, although I'll certainly be hoping for overtime!

Avatar
#38 NateBaldwin
April 19 2013, 06:36PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

you had me at drinking game!

Avatar
#39 NateBaldwin
April 19 2013, 06:41PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
beloch wrote:

Edmonton is playing Colorado tonight. I'm not sure who to root for, although I'll certainly be hoping for overtime!

Colorado in OT. it's the only way

Avatar
#40 stretch14
April 19 2013, 07:01PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I thought the Flames had "too much pride" to tank. Shouldn't you guys be cheering for wins rather than losses? Funny how fast your prerogative changes when the shoe is on the other foot.

Avatar
#41 Jeff Lebowski
April 19 2013, 07:14PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

This will be a big test for Brodie. Heavy forecheck from big fast guys.

Avatar
#42 T&A4Flames
April 19 2013, 07:41PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
1
props
Kurt wrote:

Its gonna be awfully hard to follow Canada's official Low Risk Alchohol Guidelines..Yeesh..

http://www.ccsa.ca/Eng/Priorities/Alcohol/Canada-Low-Risk-Alcohol-Drinking-Guidelines/Pages/default.aspx

The Tips: #1) Drink slowly. Have no more than 2 drinks in any 3 hours. #2) For every drink of alcohol, have one non-alcoholic drink. #3) Eat before and while you are drinking.

It also says there is a zero alcohol rule if you are "making important decisions". Someone should tell Feaster.

Tell Feaster? Does that include rum cake?

Avatar
#43 RKD
April 19 2013, 07:50PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I think this is the end for Selanne, he had two four point games at the beginning of the season but has really cooled off. Since then he's had 9 points in the last 31. He's older than Jagr by a year but Jags seems to have that extra step right now.

Avatar
#44 T&A4Flames
April 19 2013, 08:09PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
Ryan Pike wrote:

Headed down to the game as a civilian this evening. Should be fun/sloppy/emotional.

I believe I drew the short straw for post-game, but it may not be up until late.

That outta' be fun to read.

Avatar
#45 RKD
April 19 2013, 08:22PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
1
props

I propose Horak's nickname be Hordak like the villain in He-Man. He was way more powerful than Skeletor ever was.

Avatar
#46 Baalzamon
April 19 2013, 08:26PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

The Ducks should be ashamed of themselves for not leading this one. Seriously, they're facing a good AHL team.

Avatar
#47 T&A4Flames
April 19 2013, 08:29PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
RKD wrote:

I propose Horak's nickname be Hordak like the villain in He-Man. He was way more powerful than Skeletor ever was.

I prefer Scorak. Hopefully he becomes a goal scorer.

Avatar
#48 RKD
April 19 2013, 08:32PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props
T&A4Flames wrote:

I prefer Scorak. Hopefully he becomes a goal scorer.

But GlenX is Scoreface, he owns that prefix like nobody's business! Not even Babs can improve our drafting position, well the night is still young.

Avatar
#49 Aussie Flame
April 19 2013, 08:35PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Judging by the lack of comments I'm guessing the csdg is going well

Avatar
#50 Vowswithin
April 19 2013, 08:47PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Drink up boys!!

Comments are closed for this article.