GDB 36.0: FEASTER AND FAMINE

Jason Gregor
April 03 2013 02:53PM

While the Flames shipped out Jarome Iginla and Jay Bouwmeester and replaced them with prospects that Barry Fraser wouldn't draft, the Oilers skate into the Saddledome ready to show Flames fans what six years of sucking can do for you.

The Flames haven't won a playoff series since 2004, the Oilers have won three since then, and in 24 days the Phlegms will be out of the playoffs for the 4th straight year. Make no mistake the last seven years have been brutal for Oilers fans, but at least they have something to show for their loyalty. The Oilers seven-year drought produced Taylor Hall, Jordan Eberle, Ryan Nugent-Hopkins, Nail Yakupov, Magnus Paajarvi and Sam Gagner.

The Flames' plunge into suckville has garnered them first rounders like: Mikael Backlund (softer than oleo), Greg Nemisz (4th liner in AHL), Tim Erixon (oops, he wouldn't sign in your dump of a city), _______ (didn't have 1st or 2nd round pick when missing 2010 playoffs), Sven Baertschi (solid potential 2nd liner) and Mark Jankowski (say it slowly, Stanstead College in Quebec).

Rob Schremp and Marc Pouliot had a brighter future.

Most Oilers fans won't poke that much fun at Calgary, okay one might in a few paragraphs, mainly because Edmontonians doesn't possess the inferiority complex that exists in Calgary. Oiler fans won't need to say, "At least we finished higher in the standings than you," which was the rallying cry in Calgary the last three years.

Think about that for a second.

Your team never made the playoffs, in fact they "Choked" every year in the final ten games. For the past three years, the Flames were close to the playoffs with ten games to go, and in those combined 30 games, you won a paltry 12. You averaged 4 wins in the final 10 games of the season in your annual push-to-the-playoffs-only-to-fail-and-not-get-a-top-ten-pick.

The only thing more inept than Steve Tambellini's summer free agent signings, is the Flames management in February and March and the Flames play on the ice in March and April.

Which leads us to tonight...

The Oilers and their fans head into this game knowing they will win, which is exactly how the Flames and their fans have felt the last three years. It won't be much of a battle, considering the Flames most effective forward these days is Brian McGrattan.

The Flames got a better return for Joe Piskula than they have for Jarome Iginla and Jay Bouwmeester. At least McGrattan is on your team and contributing. Top-notch GMing by Feaster and company.

  • Hall/Nugent-Hopkins/Eberle
  • Paajarvi/Gagner/Hemsky
  • Jones/Horcoff/Yakupov
  • Brown/Smyth/Petrell

  • Smid/Petry
  • N.Schultz/J.Schultz
  • Whitney/Potter

  • Dubnyk

The Flames will counter with a lineup that would battle stage an epic battle with the 2010 Oilers:

GAME DAY PREDICTION: Oilers win their 5th straight with an easy 4-2 win. The Oilers top line has combined for 19 points in the last four games and they will register six tonight.

OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: Many in Calgary will claim, "Awesome deal, getting something (5th rounder) for Blake Comeau." Get used to saying this Flames fans, as you enter into the phase where you think every draft pick will pan out eventually.

NOT-SO-OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: After he admitted Monday night that he hadn't been, "intellectually honest about his team," Jay Feaster announces during the 2nd period intermission that the Flames will indeed be a playoff contender next year. "Mikka Kiprusoff begged me not to trade him today. He's committed to winning and we will sign him to an extension in the summer.

"Also, now that Jarome Iginla, who secretly always preferred his hometown over Calgary, is gone our core guys will flourish. Want to wager on where we finish relative to Edmonton next year? I’ll tell you very honestly. I’m getting a little sour. How many teams . . . every year, for the last 10 years, five years, eight years, have finished in the bottom five, bottom seven, bottom 10? They’ve had a pick anywhere from No. 1 to No. 10 year after year after year after year, and they still wander in the desert. And they’re no closer to getting out than they were 10 years ago. We are still positioned better than the Oilers," screams Feaster. 

Good times...

***UPDATE...Turns out the NSOGDB wasn't that far off... An actual quote from Jay Feaster today..."Murray Edwards (Flames majority owner)  told me last evening that he expects us to be in the playoffs next year." You can't make this up. Wow, Edwards is delusional if he believes that. 

AND NOW A WORD FROM A DIEHARD OILER FAN

Jeanshorts runs the Oilersnation twitter and when he heard I was writing this GDB he begged me to let him write a quite blurb on behalf of all Oilers fans... so here goes... 

Oh, Calgary...

Where do we even begin? 

You're like the Springfield Tire Yard of the NHL; You're ugly, can be smelled in 46 states (and 10 provinces) and you're nothing but a humungous pile of burning rubble at this point.  

If this is what Jay Fester considers "retooling" then dear god DO NOT let him near your car. It'd be like Pimp My Ride if instead of putting TV's and a new engine in they blew the car up and told you to "never speak of this again!" 

Although, it's not like we should really be surprised that Feaster buttfumbled BOTH the Iginla and Bouwmeester trades. We've all seen Spaceballs; it's only a matter of time until he accidentally locks himself in a limousine and eats himself to death. 

But hey, it's not all no-name prospects and crying into your cousins breasts in Cowtown. I mean, at least your leading goal scorer isn't former Oiler 4th liner Curtis Glencross. 

And it's not like you're relying on a guy who hasn't played an NHL game in 4 years and only has 11 career wins to be your number one goalie next season.

Or that your hot-shot first round pick flamed out (PUN INTENDED) with only one assist in his 10-game stint. 

Or that you traded away two of your marquee players and somehow wound up with an even worse prospect pool than you started with, which was already one of the worst in the league. 

Actually, basically all that's left is for Murray Edwards to sign Feaster to a five year extension and you'll be set!  

 You know what, this is typical Calgary. First you steal all our business headquarters and now you have the audacity to steal the title of "Most Comically Inept Run Team In The National Hockey League"? THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS! 

Unfortunately Calgary looks like they'll be rewarded for this absolute atrocity of a season with a top-three pick. The good thing is that with their recent draft history the nation of Bosnia will be able to celebrate their country's first ever draft pick as the Flames select their top high school player Ahmed Mujo (56GP-0G-0A). 

We fully believe in Karma and things coming full circle. Flames fans, and management, have been ripping the Oilers futility hard for the last 4 years. I hope you brought a flashlight, sleeping bag and foamy Calgary, because the basement is dark, damp and it smells like Jerry Sandusky's rec room. Payback's a bitch and this one's going to hurt. A lot. 

Tell your hot cousin I said what's up. 

"They're ALL my hot cousin!" - Guy from Calgary

Love, Oilersnation

 RECENTLY BY JASON GREGOR

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One of Canada's most versatile sports personalities. Jason hosts The Jason Gregor Show, weekdays from 2 to 6 p.m., on TSN 1260, and he writes a column every Monday in the Edmonton Journal. You can follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/JasonGregor
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#251 Q
April 03 2013, 07:33PM
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@Reidja

Oilville is a bad case of constipation! Doesn't matter what they do, it's just a massive oversized turd going nowhere!

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#252 They're $hittie
April 03 2013, 07:33PM
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@Q

Keep it to Hockey Q,

Without Edmonton there is no Calgary, Whithout Calgary there is no Edmonton.

If the last time you came to Edmonton, WEM was in a farmers field than you have not been here recently enough to comment on the city.

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#253 They're $hittie
April 03 2013, 07:35PM
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Reidja wrote:

Oilers fans on this site are capable of some of the largest facepalms around...

It's a little sad because they have been storing this hate up for so long. Call it blue balls or blue and orange balls or whatever...

The fact remains... after all the sucking and draft pics, I still wouldn't trade their entire team for one really great player.

"I still wouldn't trade their entire team for one really great player." Sounds like a feaster philosophy on managing a team.

you cant trade for all of them with one really great player because you already traded iginla for nothing.

The icing on the cake will be when Iggy moves back to St. Albert and he buys season tickets to see Taylor Hall perennially lift the stanley cup from only a few rows away.

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#254 Q
April 03 2013, 07:35PM
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@Boxersam

Funny isn't it how that oil blue does look perfectly lady-like!

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#255 15w40
April 03 2013, 07:35PM
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Wonder if the Flames will have their own version of Oil Change - "Incinerator"?? I don't know what to call it.

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#256 SmellOfVictory
April 03 2013, 07:37PM
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They're $hittie wrote:

Keep it to Hockey Q,

Without Edmonton there is no Calgary, Whithout Calgary there is no Edmonton.

If the last time you came to Edmonton, WEM was in a farmers field than you have not been here recently enough to comment on the city.

I've been there recently enough to know that it's like Calgary if Calgary was uglier, poorer, had a higher crime rate, and was filled with meth.

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#257 Rickymac
April 03 2013, 07:38PM
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Boxersam: You sure are a classy prick aren't you?

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#258 Reidja
April 03 2013, 07:39PM
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They're $hittie wrote:

"I still wouldn't trade their entire team for one really great player." Sounds like a feaster philosophy on managing a team.

you cant trade for all of them with one really great player because you already traded iginla for nothing.

The icing on the cake will be when Iggy moves back to St. Albert and he buys season tickets to see Taylor Hall perennially lift the stanley cup from only a few rows away.

facepalm

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#259 KatzKidsJewFro
April 03 2013, 07:39PM
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Q wrote:

Your 10 years of anger has made you champion of the bandwagon! Good for you! That hemsky! He's a keeper! Captain Canada is a real special player too! Lol! Oh yeah and horcoff, Worth every million! Went to Edmonton once. What a dump! A mega mall in the middle of a farm field! Impressive! Every street sign with gretzkys name on it . City of champions my a$$! Must be so proud that all of your success fromThe draft is from blowing chunks for a decade, something we won't do in calgary! We trade for first rounders and not suck for them! Lol!!!

I'm sorry my good man. Please impress me with some wonderful flames playoff stories from the last 3 years.... Oh so in the last 3 years you haven't played a single game more than my beloved Oilers??? Oh and you have drafted nothing that compares to our 3 1st Overalls??? You are right. That is so much better.

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#260 Q
April 03 2013, 07:40PM
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@They're $hittie

That touched my heart! Without oil, everyone's perfectly fine! Hockey hockeyhockeyhockeyhockey bla bla bla! If u can't handle the heat stay outta the kitchen man! There's poop flying everywhere so its all good. Flames win 5-3 and thus ends oil playoffs and, oh not another lottery pick? No really?

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#261 They're $hittie
April 03 2013, 07:41PM
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@SmellOfVictory

Well I live in St. Albert and Calgary is a complete hole compared to it. So I guess that make me better than you according to what you are saying.

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#262 Bucknuck
April 03 2013, 07:42PM
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@A

You mean I've been partly dead since they were in the WHA!? Whoa. That might explain why I feel a little numb after the Oilers win... or maybe it's the booze...

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#263 They're $hittie
April 03 2013, 07:46PM
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If you have to trash a city on a hockey site about the city itself it is just proof that your hockey teams got nothing.

Good to see the ten flames fans that havent jumped off the bandwagon in the last 8 years are still with the team after the events of last week.

Now in ten years when the flames start playing well again, the team can release new jerseys and all the new fans who wont have even known who iginla is will buy them.

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@Rickymac

I think most people here know that both Calgary and Edmonton are great cities. There's time and place for class but this is a Battle of Alberta blog. Class would be nice but not required. Chill out man. If the BOA is not a good excuse to act like a child then I don't know what is.

Me, I'm just hoping the Flames rebuild doesn't take too long so this rivalry can take place at the top of the Conference. Can you imagine these boards if that ever happened. They may as well give out crayons.

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#265 Q
April 03 2013, 07:47PM
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@KatzKidsJewFro

Your oilers? I don't think so! The lotterie's oilers! One day Lowe got up and said hey everyone. Lets just suck for ten years! I know you've held your head high knowing you shouldn't have even dressed a team for a decade! It's ok! We're in a true rebuild! You've just plain sucked! No effort no anthything! You have the mega mall though! Oh yeah and what else? Nope that's it!

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#266 Reidja
April 03 2013, 07:47PM
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@They're $hittie

"If you have to trash a city on a hockey site about the city itself it is just proof that your hockey teams got nothing."

I'm sorry... could you repeat the question?

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#267 Sincity1976
April 03 2013, 07:50PM
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At the game tonight. Got a media pass tour. Tone of the staff media, and crowd very somber. Will see how loud people get during the game but hope level low.

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#268 Clyde Frog
April 03 2013, 07:52PM
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I'm wondering how many high school kids feaster can buy in one off season with 20 million...

Also any Flames fans crying about the post should fall in a hole or figure out how to get their team to win... Which ever is easier.

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#269 Q
April 03 2013, 07:53PM
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@They're $hittie

Thank you um for that irkle sandwich ! No must not play notty! What is this the whussmobile? I've had enough of this ! Grow a set and buck up! You obviously weren't around in the 80s! Lets have a nice battle of Alberta! Go flames! Down with the perennial tankers!

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#270 DSF
April 03 2013, 07:58PM
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Matt Henderson wrote:

Here is my Open Letter to Flames Fans

That's a great read,

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#271 They're $hittie
April 03 2013, 07:59PM
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@Q

I was around in the 80's and remember the smythe division playoffs. Never said nothing about playing nice, just saying stick to the issues.

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#272 Jaxon
April 03 2013, 08:03PM
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This thread is unreadable.

Heaven forbid people not act like children and, you know, talk about the actual hockey.

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#273 Eddie Edmonton
April 03 2013, 08:04PM
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link for the game, please

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#274 Q?
April 03 2013, 08:05PM
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Q wrote:

Your oilers? I don't think so! The lotterie's oilers! One day Lowe got up and said hey everyone. Lets just suck for ten years! I know you've held your head high knowing you shouldn't have even dressed a team for a decade! It's ok! We're in a true rebuild! You've just plain sucked! No effort no anthything! You have the mega mall though! Oh yeah and what else? Nope that's it!

Why do you keep saying 10 years? Flames haven't been good since 2004. We do have the mega mall. What does Calgary have again?

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#275 Scary Gary
April 03 2013, 08:07PM
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Matt Henderson wrote:

Here is my Open Letter to Flames Fans

Hahaha, good stuff, but I prefer to be in denial.

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#276 m3sh
April 03 2013, 08:09PM
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@Matt Henderson

Nice Arch.

Exactly. Fast rebuild... pfft. No such thing as a free lunch.

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#277 Oil Change
April 03 2013, 08:11PM
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They're $hittie wrote:

Well I live in St. Albert and Calgary is a complete hole compared to it. So I guess that make me better than you according to what you are saying.

I love the Flames fans that brag about Calgary. Have they been around the Forrest Lawn Area or all of North East Calgary? It's a real beautiful ghetto.

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#278 douigtheslug
April 03 2013, 08:21PM
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Matt Henderson wrote:

Here is my Open Letter to Flames Fans

Props, amigo, mucho props! Couldn't have said it better. Except that I was sure Alex Plante, the first rounder we got for Smitty was going to develope into Chris Pronger.

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#279 Cheap Shot Charlie
April 03 2013, 08:21PM
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Matt Henderson wrote:

Here is my Open Letter to Flames Fans

We would all like to sign this letter!

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#280 The Soup Fascist
April 03 2013, 08:21PM
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I think it is important for all Oiler's fans to remember how difficult it is to beat an NHL team in back to back games.

Fortunately for the Oil they aren't ACTUALLY facing an NHL team tonight ......

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#281 Milli
April 03 2013, 08:28PM
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Ah, Flames fans, I too remember thinking if only, with all these pick...hahha, with all this money! Picks take years to develop, and who is signing in Calgary? Well, no one, no one good! Iggy, he isn't comming back! Wow, how bad does it feel when your captain, face of the franchise and best player in YOUR hisyory (not saying much) will not re-sign with you! Well, have fun in the desert Flamers!!!

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#282 Scary Gary
April 03 2013, 08:30PM
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Go Jays?

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Is anyone else watching baseball?

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#284 Scary Gary
April 03 2013, 08:35PM
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DonovanMD wrote:

Lets go Oilers. I think most fans will forget all about any lost assets in not dealing the pending UFAs if the team can make the playoffs.

Never more of a must win than this one. These sorts of games have always worried me as an Oiler fan, hopefully the boys are fired up.

If the rumours about the players wanting to see the team stick together and for management to have faith in them are true, they need to show up big time tonight.

As an oilers fan would you want another year of Smyth? I know he's your Trevor Linden but the writing is on the wall no?

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#285 The Soup Fascist
April 03 2013, 08:35PM
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The poster formerly known as Koolaid drinker #33 wrote:

Is anyone else watching baseball?

Yes but because I choose to - extra innings. Oilers on 302 shaw.

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#286 Darrell
April 03 2013, 08:36PM
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Why is the game not playing on center ice ?

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#287 Oil Change
April 03 2013, 08:36PM
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If you have a satellite it's on 1438

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#288 Scary Gary
April 03 2013, 08:36PM
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The poster formerly known as Koolaid drinker #33 wrote:

Is anyone else watching baseball?

Batista hit into two double plays this game before his homer but I'll take it.

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#289 The Soup Fascist
April 03 2013, 08:36PM
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Kent Wilson wrote:

So are Flames and Oilers fans still attacking each other, or has it descended to the fan bases simply arguing with each other as usual?

Shut up Kent! Sorry, what was the question?

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#290 vetinari
April 03 2013, 08:39PM
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Joey MacDonald again, eh? Get used to your new starting goalie, Calgary...

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#291 Darrell
April 03 2013, 08:39PM
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Oil Change wrote:

If you have a satellite it's on 1438

Time Warner BS USA center ice ...l this sucks !

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@The Soup Fascist

Thanks

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#293 vetinari
April 03 2013, 08:41PM
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Thankfully, the Flames finally learned to score so at least this game will be more entertaining.

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#294 schevvy
April 03 2013, 08:42PM
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Clearly the Flames are a great team..........

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#295 schevvy
April 03 2013, 08:46PM
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Marty Franchise, obviously the player you want to build your team around...

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#296 one cold canadian
April 03 2013, 08:46PM
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okay... why am i watching baseball????

Anybody know whats going on?

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#297 JL
April 03 2013, 08:46PM
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this is greta brown get his ass whipped and we score....

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#298 Kent Wilson
April 03 2013, 08:48PM
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@one cold canadian

Game is on "SNET ONE" for now.

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#299 mr_nihilism
April 03 2013, 08:48PM
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OMG wake the f#@# up Oilers and start playing !!

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#300 vetinari
April 03 2013, 08:49PM
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If you have Bell, the game's on Channel 1438.

As for the Flames being up 2-0, no worries... even if they win and get the 2 points, they just hurt their draft position... BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!

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