GDB 36.0: FEASTER AND FAMINE

Jason Gregor
April 03 2013 02:53PM

While the Flames shipped out Jarome Iginla and Jay Bouwmeester and replaced them with prospects that Barry Fraser wouldn't draft, the Oilers skate into the Saddledome ready to show Flames fans what six years of sucking can do for you.

The Flames haven't won a playoff series since 2004, the Oilers have won three since then, and in 24 days the Phlegms will be out of the playoffs for the 4th straight year. Make no mistake the last seven years have been brutal for Oilers fans, but at least they have something to show for their loyalty. The Oilers seven-year drought produced Taylor Hall, Jordan Eberle, Ryan Nugent-Hopkins, Nail Yakupov, Magnus Paajarvi and Sam Gagner.

The Flames' plunge into suckville has garnered them first rounders like: Mikael Backlund (softer than oleo), Greg Nemisz (4th liner in AHL), Tim Erixon (oops, he wouldn't sign in your dump of a city), _______ (didn't have 1st or 2nd round pick when missing 2010 playoffs), Sven Baertschi (solid potential 2nd liner) and Mark Jankowski (say it slowly, Stanstead College in Quebec).

Rob Schremp and Marc Pouliot had a brighter future.

Most Oilers fans won't poke that much fun at Calgary, okay one might in a few paragraphs, mainly because Edmontonians doesn't possess the inferiority complex that exists in Calgary. Oiler fans won't need to say, "At least we finished higher in the standings than you," which was the rallying cry in Calgary the last three years.

Think about that for a second.

Your team never made the playoffs, in fact they "Choked" every year in the final ten games. For the past three years, the Flames were close to the playoffs with ten games to go, and in those combined 30 games, you won a paltry 12. You averaged 4 wins in the final 10 games of the season in your annual push-to-the-playoffs-only-to-fail-and-not-get-a-top-ten-pick.

The only thing more inept than Steve Tambellini's summer free agent signings, is the Flames management in February and March and the Flames play on the ice in March and April.

Which leads us to tonight...

The Oilers and their fans head into this game knowing they will win, which is exactly how the Flames and their fans have felt the last three years. It won't be much of a battle, considering the Flames most effective forward these days is Brian McGrattan.

The Flames got a better return for Joe Piskula than they have for Jarome Iginla and Jay Bouwmeester. At least McGrattan is on your team and contributing. Top-notch GMing by Feaster and company.

  • Hall/Nugent-Hopkins/Eberle
  • Paajarvi/Gagner/Hemsky
  • Jones/Horcoff/Yakupov
  • Brown/Smyth/Petrell

  • Smid/Petry
  • N.Schultz/J.Schultz
  • Whitney/Potter

  • Dubnyk

The Flames will counter with a lineup that would battle stage an epic battle with the 2010 Oilers:

GAME DAY PREDICTION: Oilers win their 5th straight with an easy 4-2 win. The Oilers top line has combined for 19 points in the last four games and they will register six tonight.

OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: Many in Calgary will claim, "Awesome deal, getting something (5th rounder) for Blake Comeau." Get used to saying this Flames fans, as you enter into the phase where you think every draft pick will pan out eventually.

NOT-SO-OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: After he admitted Monday night that he hadn't been, "intellectually honest about his team," Jay Feaster announces during the 2nd period intermission that the Flames will indeed be a playoff contender next year. "Mikka Kiprusoff begged me not to trade him today. He's committed to winning and we will sign him to an extension in the summer.

"Also, now that Jarome Iginla, who secretly always preferred his hometown over Calgary, is gone our core guys will flourish. Want to wager on where we finish relative to Edmonton next year? I’ll tell you very honestly. I’m getting a little sour. How many teams . . . every year, for the last 10 years, five years, eight years, have finished in the bottom five, bottom seven, bottom 10? They’ve had a pick anywhere from No. 1 to No. 10 year after year after year after year, and they still wander in the desert. And they’re no closer to getting out than they were 10 years ago. We are still positioned better than the Oilers," screams Feaster. 

Good times...

***UPDATE...Turns out the NSOGDB wasn't that far off... An actual quote from Jay Feaster today..."Murray Edwards (Flames majority owner)  told me last evening that he expects us to be in the playoffs next year." You can't make this up. Wow, Edwards is delusional if he believes that. 

AND NOW A WORD FROM A DIEHARD OILER FAN

Jeanshorts runs the Oilersnation twitter and when he heard I was writing this GDB he begged me to let him write a quite blurb on behalf of all Oilers fans... so here goes... 

Oh, Calgary...

Where do we even begin? 

You're like the Springfield Tire Yard of the NHL; You're ugly, can be smelled in 46 states (and 10 provinces) and you're nothing but a humungous pile of burning rubble at this point.  

If this is what Jay Fester considers "retooling" then dear god DO NOT let him near your car. It'd be like Pimp My Ride if instead of putting TV's and a new engine in they blew the car up and told you to "never speak of this again!" 

Although, it's not like we should really be surprised that Feaster buttfumbled BOTH the Iginla and Bouwmeester trades. We've all seen Spaceballs; it's only a matter of time until he accidentally locks himself in a limousine and eats himself to death. 

But hey, it's not all no-name prospects and crying into your cousins breasts in Cowtown. I mean, at least your leading goal scorer isn't former Oiler 4th liner Curtis Glencross. 

And it's not like you're relying on a guy who hasn't played an NHL game in 4 years and only has 11 career wins to be your number one goalie next season.

Or that your hot-shot first round pick flamed out (PUN INTENDED) with only one assist in his 10-game stint. 

Or that you traded away two of your marquee players and somehow wound up with an even worse prospect pool than you started with, which was already one of the worst in the league. 

Actually, basically all that's left is for Murray Edwards to sign Feaster to a five year extension and you'll be set!  

 You know what, this is typical Calgary. First you steal all our business headquarters and now you have the audacity to steal the title of "Most Comically Inept Run Team In The National Hockey League"? THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS! 

Unfortunately Calgary looks like they'll be rewarded for this absolute atrocity of a season with a top-three pick. The good thing is that with their recent draft history the nation of Bosnia will be able to celebrate their country's first ever draft pick as the Flames select their top high school player Ahmed Mujo (56GP-0G-0A). 

We fully believe in Karma and things coming full circle. Flames fans, and management, have been ripping the Oilers futility hard for the last 4 years. I hope you brought a flashlight, sleeping bag and foamy Calgary, because the basement is dark, damp and it smells like Jerry Sandusky's rec room. Payback's a bitch and this one's going to hurt. A lot. 

Tell your hot cousin I said what's up. 

"They're ALL my hot cousin!" - Guy from Calgary

Love, Oilersnation

 RECENTLY BY JASON GREGOR

Ddf3e2ba09069c465299f3c416e43eae
One of Canada's most versatile sports personalities. Jason hosts The Jason Gregor Show, weekdays from 2 to 6 p.m., on TSN 1260, and he writes a column every Monday in the Edmonton Journal. You can follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/JasonGregor
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#301 schevvy
April 03 2013, 08:53PM
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Damnit back to reality

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#302 I tried it at home
April 03 2013, 08:55PM
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Ok, it was nice and charitable of Ralph to tell the team, lets spot them 2 goals first, make this exciting, but now we're back in it. Game is still on, flamers, sit back and enjoy that sinking feeling youre getting.

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#303 NewAgeSys
April 03 2013, 08:55PM
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can someone say how these goals are being scored, the stinking ballgame is on, and I cant see the first period of the most important game of the year!! And we are down 2 goals and thats when i jump in, how did the goals go in?

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#304 I tried it at home
April 03 2013, 08:55PM
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By the way, wtf happened to Brown's fu manchu?

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#305 vetinari
April 03 2013, 08:58PM
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NewAgeSys wrote:

can someone say how these goals are being scored, the stinking ballgame is on, and I cant see the first period of the most important game of the year!! And we are down 2 goals and thats when i jump in, how did the goals go in?

@NAS- if you have Bell, try Channel 1438... don't know what it is on Shaw...

Matt Stajan opened with 2 for Calgary... First was top shelf and second was a backhand into an open cage...

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#306 Scary Gary
April 03 2013, 08:59PM
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Oops, uh

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#307 mr_nihilism
April 03 2013, 08:59PM
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Yeah! Yeah !!

Take that, Calgary.

2-2

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#308 vetinari
April 03 2013, 09:00PM
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Whitney!!!! 2-2!!! Sneaks in from the point and puts it by Joey "Don't Call Me Ronald" MacDonald... went high blocker side while he was eating a Big Mac...

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#309 NewAgeSys
April 03 2013, 09:00PM
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Nice, very very nice, and screw that goddam ballgame!!

Yaeee Oilers, nice job Gagner and you to Wobbly, now lets smash them, wheres Hall, tell him to set up Nuge tonight and get him going.

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#310 schevvy
April 03 2013, 09:01PM
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Well it was fun while it lasted

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#311 Kent Wilson
April 03 2013, 09:01PM
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Now I can switch to cheering for a lottery pick! Yay!

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#312 NewAgeSys
April 03 2013, 09:04PM
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Brown didnt slow Stevie down, someone needs to hammer him before he hurts someone, just watch him on the forecheck, he is getting dirty so either someone hammer him immediatly or feed him the elbow on the turnaround because he is going to run guys all night long on the endboards, its his game.

Someone get under his skin, start to yap at him and draw him into a penalty he is very reactive to the yapping.

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#313 RexLibris
April 03 2013, 09:05PM
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@Kent Wilson

Hi Kent,

Just a question, based on Feaster's comments today, do you think they trade one of those extra 1st round picks for immediate help this draft?

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#314 schevvy
April 03 2013, 09:07PM
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@RexLibris

Rex the drinking is commencing.

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#315 Jay
April 03 2013, 09:09PM
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Come on boys, it's an easy win not a free win! Gotta put in at least 10% effort

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#316 NewAgeSys
April 03 2013, 09:09PM
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We shouldnt be so complacent and quite this patient, where is our jump, we are playing this game at to slow a pace, now that we are back even we need to start going at it wayyyy harder,lets see some hop out there, some challenges from the bench, but this is a very dangerous pace for us, lets try to pump it up and get special teams involved, we have an edge there so lets push for it.

MPS needs to penetrate the zone and pull up and curl for that pass to the pointman, that is a good play and MPS is consistant in execution.

Gagner needs to go to the net a bit more tonight, we need to get greasier, we need to play more desperate and remember what a fine goddarn line we are walking on.

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#317 RexLibris
April 03 2013, 09:11PM
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schevvy wrote:

Rex the drinking is commencing.

You or Feaster? Because I could've sworn....

;-)

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#318 RexLibris
April 03 2013, 09:14PM
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schevvy wrote:

It's kinda sad that now we can't laugh at Oilers fans. Those were the days

There's always the Islanders. Wait, um, Blue Jackets? Nope. Hmmm, okay we're running out of targets here.

Seriously though, I'd be very, very worried about Feaster's off-season plans based on Edwards' "marching orders". Very worried.

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#319 Kent Wilson
April 03 2013, 09:16PM
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Edmonton dominated the first. Flames lucky to be in it, frankly. Scoring chances were 9-3 Oil.

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#320 schevvy
April 03 2013, 09:16PM
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@RexLibris

It's not good. They're going to grossly overpay for FA's when there are very few decent ones out there, and they're going to trade at least 1 1st round pick. Ugh

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#321 RexLibris
April 03 2013, 09:17PM
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Kent Wilson wrote:

Edmonton dominated the first. Flames lucky to be in it, frankly. Scoring chances were 9-3 Oil.

9-3. 93. An omen?

;-)

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#322 RexLibris
April 03 2013, 09:19PM
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It's not okay to lose.

Intellectual honesty?

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#323 mrBacon
April 03 2013, 09:19PM
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Jeanshorts killed it. Whats up?

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#324 schevvy
April 03 2013, 09:20PM
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Looking at the free agent list, the best FA out there is Iggy. Yikes.

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#325 vetinari
April 03 2013, 09:21PM
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Feaster interview during the intermission... I thought that Tambellini was a bad GM but he looks like freakin' Lou Lamoriello next to him. Playoffs? Next year?

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#326 oldhippy
April 03 2013, 09:21PM
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But, Calgary is like the Red Wings....We don't need to rebuild. We are only one or two UFA's from being a Stanley Cup contender.

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#327 RexLibris
April 03 2013, 09:24PM
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They need to get faster, stronger, bigger. They can do it. They have the technology.

What I find most amusing is that Feaster is saying the team needs to get bigger, stronger and faster. And yet this is pretty much the team that he built.

And when they talk about post-apex players, does that not describe Feaster himself. 2004, and then downhill from there.

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#328 The Soup Fascist
April 03 2013, 09:27PM
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This just in .......

Alberta now known as the only jurisdiction in North America completely free of rats AND lucid NHL General Managers.

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#329 Fatbob24
April 03 2013, 09:30PM
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Kent Wilson wrote:

Now I can switch to cheering for a lottery pick! Yay!

Yeah, it'll get you a nice proven NHL caliber 3rd line winger at the draft with Feaster at the helm. Good luck! It's harder watching your GM suck than your team, trust me.

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#330 Chris Fairfield
April 03 2013, 09:30PM
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Eddie Edmonton wrote:

link for the game, please

Go to adthe.net

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#331 Ryan Pike
April 03 2013, 09:36PM
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Greetings from the Garden State.

How's the game so far, folks?

#Scorak

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#332 Brubaker
April 03 2013, 09:37PM
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Fun fact...

Feasted can put back a bag of cheese Doritos Quicker than kiprusoff can be pulled in a meaningful game

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#333 vetinari
April 03 2013, 09:38PM
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Yak City!!!! 3-2 Edmonton!

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#334 RexLibris
April 03 2013, 09:38PM
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Yay-kupov.

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#335 Clyde Frog
April 03 2013, 09:38PM
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YAKUPOV! Just freaking JEBERLEED!

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Wow, nice shot

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#337 schevvy
April 03 2013, 09:39PM
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*drink*

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#338 Hat tricker
April 03 2013, 09:39PM
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Rob Kerr should go sell used cars...he's so brutal....

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#339 RexLibris
April 03 2013, 09:41PM
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@schevvy

New Flames drinking game?

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Goal, assist and a save for Whitney.

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#341 vetinari
April 03 2013, 09:43PM
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Cheaters!!! Go to the penalty box and be ashamed....

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#342 RexLibris
April 03 2013, 09:43PM
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Are the Flames even trying? That was a horrible penalty by Sarich. Ridiculous.

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#343 RexLibris
April 03 2013, 09:44PM
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The poster formerly known as Koolaid drinker #33 wrote:

Goal, assist and a save for Whitney.

Quick trade him while his stock is high- wait! Darnit!

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#344 TonyT
April 03 2013, 09:45PM
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Any word on Brown? Haven't seen him since the fight.

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#345 Feaster bater
April 03 2013, 09:45PM
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@Simon

He should let his hair grow...looks like a mental patient.

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RexLibris wrote:

Quick trade him while his stock is high- wait! Darnit!

Trade bait hat trick.

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#347 negrilcowboy
April 03 2013, 09:46PM
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ME wasnt feelin well, went to the doctors. doc did a colonoscopy found three things turns out it was KK fly j and havad

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#348 Clyde Frog
April 03 2013, 09:46PM
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HALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

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#349 RexLibris
April 03 2013, 09:46PM
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=)

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Seriously that was a sad looking PK. Wow!

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