Corban Knight Facts

Kent Wilson
June 18 2013 12:48PM

 

 

Our own Mr. BookofLoob has been warning folks on twitter that the excitement level surrounding new Flame Corban Knight seems to be a little out of step with how important the player actually is in the grand scheme of things. And fair enough.

But I bite my thumb an that entirely common sense advice. We Flames fans have had precious little to celebrate in over the last 20 few years, so any good news is great news given how parched we are for such sweet nectar.

So in direct opposition to BoL's advice, many folks (well...mostly myself) are now showering Knight with effusive, entirely unreasonable superlatives on twitter. I figured we might as well extend the exercise to the site.

 

 

Get in the spirit and share your Corban Knight facts in the comments.

39d8109299a9795cb3b41a4e9b49d501
Former Nations Overlord. Current FN contributor and curmudgeon For questions, complaints, criticisms, etc contact Kent @ kent.wilson@gmail. Follow him on Twitter here.
Avatar
#1 icedawg_42
June 18 2013, 12:53PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

uh....Corban Knight once punched out Chuck Norris' beard, cause he could?

Avatar
#2 jeremywilhelm
June 18 2013, 12:55PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

Corbin "David Bolland" Knight

Corbin "poor mans Jonathan Toews" Knight

Avatar
#3 Trianglereverie
June 18 2013, 12:56PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

Corban Knight doesn't always fight crime but when he does the bad guys sentence themselves to life in prison.

Avatar
#4 schevvy
June 18 2013, 12:57PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

Corban Knight came up with the idea of quantum physics

Corban Knight is the greatest athlete to ever come out of High River

Corban Knight may in fact be a middle-aged Batman. (Stole that one from twitter)

Corban Knight is actually Wayne Gretzky 2.0

Avatar
#5 SmellOfVictory
June 18 2013, 12:59PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
1
props

Corban Knight was conceived as Corban Smith. When he was born his strength and nobility were so evident that they changed his surname to reflect his personal qualities.

Avatar
#6 SmellOfVictory
June 18 2013, 01:01PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
4
props

Twenty-four people have been to the moon; seventeen of them are Corban Knight.

Avatar
#7 Trianglereverie
June 18 2013, 01:02PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

Corban Knight doesn't come from High River. HIGH RIVER comes from Corban Knight.

Sir Corban wasn't knighted by the Queen the Queen was crowned by Sir Corban.

Earth wasn't created by the big bang. It was created by Corban Knight eating too many burritos.

Avatar
#8 Parallex
June 18 2013, 01:03PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
2
props

Corban Knight will help us save on Zamboni costs... one look from him and the ice will clean itself.

Avatar
#10 Jeff Lebowski
June 18 2013, 01:07PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

Ridiculous thought of mine:

I want super competitive guys. Guys like Tom Brady. There are some of us who are poor losers. You know, when we play NHL '10 or any game, that if you lose, you throw your controller, you turn the power off so it doesn't get recorded, you demand a rematch right away.

Some guys say they hate to lose, where other guys really mean it. We are miserable losers. Unpleasant to be around, demand and expect to win and win decisively and relentlessly. You never let up, you win 14-0 if you can or 9-8 or 1-0. However you don't take undisciplined penalties either. But I'd rather try to reign that in rather than not have it.

I hope Knight is just a relentless super competitive guy and I hope Feaster brings in a bunch of guys like that. Controller tossers!

also they need a sh!t ton of skill.

Avatar
#11 schevvy
June 18 2013, 01:08PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

Corbin Knight is a professional controller tosser.,

Avatar
#12 Southern_Point
June 18 2013, 01:08PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

With the advantage of hindsight NHL scouts agree that 15 year old Corban Knight should have been the number one overall pick in the 2005 draft.

Avatar
#13 dean the raven
June 18 2013, 01:10PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

Corban Knight taught Dave Grohl how to Rawk! And Corban Knight is his real name!

Avatar
#14 icedawg_42
June 18 2013, 01:11PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
SmellOfVictory wrote:

Twenty-four people have been to the moon; seventeen of them are Corban Knight.

Hahah...this one!

Avatar
#15 dean the raven
June 18 2013, 01:12PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
Jeff Lebowski wrote:

Ridiculous thought of mine:

I want super competitive guys. Guys like Tom Brady. There are some of us who are poor losers. You know, when we play NHL '10 or any game, that if you lose, you throw your controller, you turn the power off so it doesn't get recorded, you demand a rematch right away.

Some guys say they hate to lose, where other guys really mean it. We are miserable losers. Unpleasant to be around, demand and expect to win and win decisively and relentlessly. You never let up, you win 14-0 if you can or 9-8 or 1-0. However you don't take undisciplined penalties either. But I'd rather try to reign that in rather than not have it.

I hope Knight is just a relentless super competitive guy and I hope Feaster brings in a bunch of guys like that. Controller tossers!

also they need a sh!t ton of skill.

Take a "Big" Man to admit it, Lebowski. Strike!

Avatar
#16 Trianglereverie
June 18 2013, 01:13PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

And then God said: "Let there be Knight" Corban Knight.

The Hand of God hasn't got nothing on the Hands of Knight.

Corban Knight wins face offs just with his eyes. *Knights Stare*

Corban Knight doesn't block shots the puck swerves wide because it's afraid of hitting Corban Knight.

Corban Knight was trained by Jack Bauer. Jack Bauer tried to pull on Corban and Corban killed him with his stare.

Avatar
#17 icedawg_42
June 18 2013, 01:13PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

Corban Knight once flew across the universe to rescue the supreme being and save the Earth. No wait..that was Corbin Dallas. But he's awesome anyway.

Avatar
#18 schevvy
June 18 2013, 01:13PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

Instead of calling Ghostbusters people call Corban Knight

Avatar
#19 TheRealPoc
June 18 2013, 01:22PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

To ensure fans were adequately prepared to understand and appreciate His impending greatness, Corban Knight invented #fancystats. At the age of 6 months old.

Avatar
#20 Lordmork
June 18 2013, 01:24PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
5
props

Worrying about having to play against Corban Knight is the reason Nick Lidstrom retired.

Avatar
#21 bookofloob
June 18 2013, 01:26PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

Corban Knight's favourite Care Bear is Norm

Avatar
#23 gotommygo
June 18 2013, 01:27PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
2
props

Corban Knight will play for the Flames under the standard entry level contract. He will charge nothing extra for his awesomeness. And when you see him in the 'Dome, you'll pay for the whole seat, but you'll only use the edge!

Avatar
#24 TigerUnderGlass
June 18 2013, 01:32PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

@Trianglereverie

Earth wasn't created by the big bang. It was created by Corban Knight eating too many burritos.

This one must be a joke, because it is impossible for Corban Knight to eat too many burritos.

Avatar
#25 Trianglereverie
June 18 2013, 01:33PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

Corban Knight doesn't get penalties Corban Knight penalizes the penalty box.

Avatar
#26 Trianglereverie
June 18 2013, 01:33PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
TigerUnderGlass wrote:
Earth wasn't created by the big bang. It was created by Corban Knight eating too many burritos.

This one must be a joke, because it is impossible for Corban Knight to eat too many burritos.

Genius!

Avatar
#27 Parallex
June 18 2013, 01:39PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
1
props

Brendan Shannahan has to become President of the Calgary Flames because he knows it'd be impossible to suspend Corban Knight.

Avatar
#28 lionlager
June 18 2013, 01:42PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

I bet he's totally reading this thread right now.

Avatar
#29 Parallex
June 18 2013, 01:42PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
Lordmork wrote:

Worrying about having to play against Corban Knight is the reason Nick Lidstrom retired.

I like this a lot.

Avatar
#30 Tempura
June 18 2013, 01:43PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

Corban Knight doesn't only breathe in and out - he breathes in every direction.

Avatar
#31 marty
June 18 2013, 01:47PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
1
props

who would win in a fight between lemmy and corban knight? trick question lemmy is corban knight.

Avatar
#32 Tempura
June 18 2013, 01:49PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

Q: If Corban had been a german in 1940s, who would've won the war?

A: Corban

Avatar
#33 Cowtown 1989
June 18 2013, 01:51PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
1
props

Corban Knight has never lost a draw. He has simply chosen to let some pucks be free.

Avatar
#34 Lordmork
June 18 2013, 01:52PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
1
props

This whole comment section is the best comment section.

Avatar
#35 Monaertchi Gaudnett
June 18 2013, 01:53PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
Trianglereverie wrote:

Corban Knight doesn't come from High River. HIGH RIVER comes from Corban Knight.

Sir Corban wasn't knighted by the Queen the Queen was crowned by Sir Corban.

Earth wasn't created by the big bang. It was created by Corban Knight eating too many burritos.

The earth wasn't created by the big bang. The universe was created by the big bang, which was created by Corban Knight.

Avatar
#36 Baalzamon
June 18 2013, 01:56PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
Lordmork wrote:

This whole comment section is the best comment section.

It can't be, because Corban Knight isn't here.

Avatar
#37 SmellOfVictory
June 18 2013, 01:56PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
Cowtown 1989 wrote:

Corban Knight has never lost a draw. He has simply chosen to let some pucks be free.

So beautiful.

Avatar
#39 JFK
June 18 2013, 01:58PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

All the talk of him being a 2C or 3C, he is 1C, 2C, 3C and 4C he doesn't need rest, he's CORBIN KNIGHT!

Avatar
#40 Baalzamon
June 18 2013, 01:58PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

Corban Knight taught Mohammed Ali to float like a butterfly and sting like a bee.

Avatar
#41 JFK
June 18 2013, 01:59PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

All the talk of him being a 2C or 3C, he should be 1C, 2C, 3C and 4C he doesn't need rest, he's CORBAN KNIGHT!

Sorry Corban for the typo, DON'T EAT ME! NNNNOOOOOOO!!!

Avatar
#42 Tempura
June 18 2013, 01:59PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

Corban Knight woke up Jay Feaster. It was dark. "Is it night?", Jay asked.

"No, it's Corban"

Avatar
#43 BJ
June 18 2013, 02:07PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

Corban Knight is the reincarnation of the great Kotalik

Avatar
#44 SmellOfVictory
June 18 2013, 02:20PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
1
props

Corban Knight doesn't play hockey. He is hockey.

Avatar
#45 BurningSensation
June 18 2013, 02:31PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

After he heard about Corban Knight, Connor MacLeod took his own head. There can be only one.

Avatar
#46 BurningSensation
June 18 2013, 02:32PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
1
props

Chuck Norris didn't go to college because he knew Corban Knight would be there.

Avatar
#47 BurningSensation
June 18 2013, 02:34PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

Clark Kent and Corban Knight have never been seen in the same place at the same time.

Avatar
#48 BurningSensation
June 18 2013, 02:35PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

Corban Knight's mother was a virgin.

Avatar
#49 BurningSensation
June 18 2013, 02:39PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

The Late Dick Irving was hanging around in heaven when he saw a guy wearing ND colours skating around the clouds and miming face-off wins.

Irving turned to St. Peter, 'Who's that'?

St Peter, "That's just God, he thinks he's Corban Knight"

Avatar
#50 BurningSensation
June 18 2013, 02:47PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
1
props

Little known fact, Corban Knight was the 6th Beatle.

Comments are closed for this article.