Corban Knight Facts

Kent Wilson
June 18 2013 12:48PM

 

 

Our own Mr. BookofLoob has been warning folks on twitter that the excitement level surrounding new Flame Corban Knight seems to be a little out of step with how important the player actually is in the grand scheme of things. And fair enough.

But I bite my thumb an that entirely common sense advice. We Flames fans have had precious little to celebrate in over the last 20 few years, so any good news is great news given how parched we are for such sweet nectar.

So in direct opposition to BoL's advice, many folks (well...mostly myself) are now showering Knight with effusive, entirely unreasonable superlatives on twitter. I figured we might as well extend the exercise to the site.

 

 

Get in the spirit and share your Corban Knight facts in the comments.

39d8109299a9795cb3b41a4e9b49d501
Former Nations Overlord. Current Fn contributor and curmudgeon For questions, complaints, criticisms, etc contact Kent @ kent.wilson@gmail. Follow him on Twitter here.
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#101 BurningSensation
June 18 2013, 07:04PM
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Rockmorton65 wrote:

If you say Corban Knight really slow, it sounds like "gullible"

Nobody can hear you over the sound of how awesome Corban Knight is.

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#102 please cancel acct
June 18 2013, 07:53PM
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Kent Have you gone off your Corsi? Or perhaps all this drafting has kept you up at Knight!

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#103 Derzie
June 18 2013, 08:04PM
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Kipper just awoke from a summer nap mumbling 'Corban is coming...Get me Feaster on the Line!!! Summer's over. Where's my skates and smokes!'

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#104 RexLibris
June 18 2013, 08:34PM
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It isn't Corban Knight, but it is pretty funny.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ch5MEJk5ZCQ

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#105 jeremywilhelm
June 18 2013, 08:36PM
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aloudoun wrote:

If a tree falls in the forest and no one was there to hear it, Corban Knight heard it anyway.

This one made me laugh for some reason.

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#107 DSF
June 18 2013, 08:58PM
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Kent Wilson wrote:

105 Corban Knight joke comments. You guys rule.

No, Corban Knight rules.

These guys are just pretenders.

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#108 KetchupKid
June 18 2013, 09:11PM
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If you can see Corban Knight, he can see you. If you CAN'T see Corban Knight, there's a good chance your girlfriend is pregnant.

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#109 KetchupKid
June 18 2013, 09:40PM
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Carbonite

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#110 ChinookArch
June 18 2013, 09:45PM
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Corban Knight is known to have used the phone twice. Once, to instruct the Flames to employ his father. And a second time to provide the team instructions on how to prepare for his arrival..

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#111 J.P.
June 18 2013, 10:02PM
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Next year the Flames skate into the playoffs only to look back and see one pair of skate tracks, Corban Knight's!

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#112 Jeff In Lethbridge
June 18 2013, 10:08PM
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Corban Knight: Rebuild done.

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#113 Ken V.
June 18 2013, 10:16PM
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If you woke up this morning its because Corban Knight let you live.

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#114 Tommynotsohuge
June 18 2013, 10:23PM
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I don't know if anybody has told you this, but Corban Knight is kind of a big deal

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#115 CaleHulse
June 18 2013, 10:27PM
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Sorry, this is probably the wrong post to comment on, but I had to get this out there. The latest update from the Avalanche says they're leaning toward taking either Mackinnon, Drouin, or Barkov. So they're passing on Jones. You guys think they're actually leaning toward taking him, or is it a ploy to get more value in a trade with let's say a team like the Flames???

Not sure if I can link the article here...it's my first time posting

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#116 BurningSensation
June 18 2013, 10:29PM
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"Oh, Corban Knight's very popular Ed. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads - they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude."

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#117 Ken V.
June 18 2013, 10:30PM
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CaleHulse wrote:

Sorry, this is probably the wrong post to comment on, but I had to get this out there. The latest update from the Avalanche says they're leaning toward taking either Mackinnon, Drouin, or Barkov. So they're passing on Jones. You guys think they're actually leaning toward taking him, or is it a ploy to get more value in a trade with let's say a team like the Flames???

Not sure if I can link the article here...it's my first time posting

Your first sentence up to the second comma is correct according to Corban Knight

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#118 BurningSensation
June 18 2013, 10:31PM
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CaleHulse wrote:

Sorry, this is probably the wrong post to comment on, but I had to get this out there. The latest update from the Avalanche says they're leaning toward taking either Mackinnon, Drouin, or Barkov. So they're passing on Jones. You guys think they're actually leaning toward taking him, or is it a ploy to get more value in a trade with let's say a team like the Flames???

Not sure if I can link the article here...it's my first time posting

Latest update from where?

It's certainly possible they could be saying this to drive up the price, it's also very possible they have no intention of trading the pick. It's impossible to say.

Everybody's nervous their first time posting. I'm sure you'll last longer next time.

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#119 CaleHulse
June 18 2013, 10:32PM
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Never mind. The article's on NHL.com

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#120 BurningSensation
June 18 2013, 10:33PM
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Corban Knight once shot the puck so hard he broke the goalie's soul.

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#121 CaleHulse
June 18 2013, 10:34PM
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It was originally from the Denver Post.

http://www.denverpost.com/avalanche/ci_23489308/avalanche-pass-seth-jones-take-forward-joe-sakic?source=email

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#122 Ken V.
June 18 2013, 10:39PM
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Corban Knight started the mass vehicle pile up on the QE2 this past winter cause he played chicken with a semi and won.

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#123 BurningSensation
June 18 2013, 10:41PM
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CaleHulse wrote:

Never mind. The article's on NHL.com

The only name that is a stretch for me at #1 is Barkov, and that's only because MacKinnon is a known quantity at the same position and with fewer flaws.

Otherwise it is entire reasonable for any of the big three to go first overall.

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#124 Ken V.
June 18 2013, 10:42PM
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Corban Knight challenged Superman and Batman to a strength challenge - loser had to wear their underwear over their pants.

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#125 BurningSensation
June 18 2013, 10:43PM
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Corban Knight is on double secret probation.

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#126 BurningSensation
June 18 2013, 11:06PM
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Corbin Knight is faster than Paris Hilton

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#127 BurningSensation
June 18 2013, 11:06PM
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Floyd Mayweather is still ducking Corban Knight

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#128 BurningSensation
June 18 2013, 11:09PM
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Corban Knight knows what really happened that day up on Choctaw ridge

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#129 meat1
June 18 2013, 11:09PM
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Corbin Knight is here cuz LANNY sent him.

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#130 BurningSensation
June 18 2013, 11:15PM
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If awesome were people, Corban Knight would be China

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#131 Baalzamon
June 18 2013, 11:20PM
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The Avalanche really want to take Corban Knight first overall. But they can't, because he picked Calgary first overall.

In all seriousness, I think there's a real possibility Colorado goes with Drouin or Barkov just to mess with everyone.

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#132 Chris
June 19 2013, 12:08AM
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No matter how well Corban Knight does in the NHL, one thing's for certain: he's a lock to run chucknorrisfacts.com once Chuck gets bored of it. :)

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#133 Captain Ron
June 19 2013, 12:52AM
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You mess with Corbin....you go knight Knight

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#134 FireOnIce
June 19 2013, 12:54AM
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According to a bunch of different "sources", Sakic has a man crush on Barkov. If they took Barkov #1 overall, Feaster had better be offering the farm to get that #2 pick from FLA.

BTW Dater followed up that previous article with his own blog post about the matter. He doesn't think it's BS, just that they would rather take the BPA, and the Avs' management doesn't think that's Jones anymore.

http://blogs.denverpost.com/avs/2013/06/18/avs-to-pass-on-seth-jones-but-is-it-a-bluff/13883/

Maybe it's all bullcrap, never can trust a GM at this time of the year.

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#135 Flamestuff
June 19 2013, 03:38AM
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Some anagrams of the words "Corban Knight" include: - bra notch king - knob girth can... - bank torching - rink chat bong - bring not hack - ranking botch

(I'm sure that last one doesn't mean anything at all...)

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#136 Hank Williams
June 19 2013, 07:41AM
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CorBron Knight and the Miami Heat(same name as Abbotsford) even up the series with the Spurs 3-3.

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#137 marty
June 19 2013, 09:11AM
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Corban Knight knows where jimmy hoffa is buried

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#138 marty
June 19 2013, 09:12AM
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@Artax

i disagree corban knight is jesus

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#139 marty
June 19 2013, 09:18AM
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Corban did 3 tours in 'Nam...... I was in Corpus Christi on business a month ago. I had this eight foot tall Asian waiter, which made me curious. I asked him his name. Sure enough it's Ho Tran Knight!

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#140 Shredder
June 19 2013, 11:00AM
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Just your standard Oiler fan trolling...and this hilarious post beats all other hockey related posts ever...unless Corban Knight has a post somewhere. Then that's the greatest.

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#141 House
June 19 2013, 01:28PM
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Corban's a Knight in shining armor that's predominantly red with white, yellow, and black trim.

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#142 Trianglereverie
June 19 2013, 03:12PM
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Corban Knight's sperm comes equipped with jet packs and lazer beams. Ladies you'll never know what hit your ovaries. Oh wait it was mini Knights.

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#143 Trianglereverie
June 19 2013, 03:13PM
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marty wrote:

Corban Knight knows where jimmy hoffa is buried

Corban Knight is the reason jimmy Hoffa has not been found. :P

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#144 Burnward
June 19 2013, 04:49PM
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Before Corban, there was only day.

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#145 Burnward
June 19 2013, 04:55PM
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When asked why he wanted to be a Flame, Knight said, "Because I'm Corban and I was burn to burn, son."

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#146 Parallex
June 20 2013, 04:17PM
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When George Lucas was writing star wars he had to ask the universe to think up something strong enough to contain the awesomeness of Han Solo so the universe whispered "CorbanKnight".

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#147 suba steve
June 20 2013, 09:49PM
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I was just rescued by a manure spreader truck from the flood in High River. Corban, you have forsaken us.

Actually, I imagine the Knight family is also suffering from the flood. Hope they are safe and warm tonight, as am I.

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#148 Parallex
June 21 2013, 11:20AM
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@suba steve

Forsaken?... who do think sent that manure spreader truck? Corban be praised!

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