Corban Knight Facts

Kent Wilson
June 18 2013 12:48PM

 

 

Our own Mr. BookofLoob has been warning folks on twitter that the excitement level surrounding new Flame Corban Knight seems to be a little out of step with how important the player actually is in the grand scheme of things. And fair enough.

But I bite my thumb an that entirely common sense advice. We Flames fans have had precious little to celebrate in over the last 20 few years, so any good news is great news given how parched we are for such sweet nectar.

So in direct opposition to BoL's advice, many folks (well...mostly myself) are now showering Knight with effusive, entirely unreasonable superlatives on twitter. I figured we might as well extend the exercise to the site.

 

 

Get in the spirit and share your Corban Knight facts in the comments.

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Former Nations Overlord. Current Fn contributor and curmudgeon For questions, complaints, criticisms, etc contact Kent @ kent.wilson@gmail. Follow him on Twitter here.
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#1 Lordmork
June 18 2013, 01:24PM
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Worrying about having to play against Corban Knight is the reason Nick Lidstrom retired.

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#2 SmellOfVictory
June 18 2013, 01:01PM
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Twenty-four people have been to the moon; seventeen of them are Corban Knight.

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#3 Parallex
June 18 2013, 01:03PM
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Corban Knight will help us save on Zamboni costs... one look from him and the ice will clean itself.

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#4 gotommygo
June 18 2013, 01:27PM
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Corban Knight will play for the Flames under the standard entry level contract. He will charge nothing extra for his awesomeness. And when you see him in the 'Dome, you'll pay for the whole seat, but you'll only use the edge!

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#5 BurningSensation
June 18 2013, 03:25PM
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Corban Knight knows where Waldo is.

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#6 Danger
June 18 2013, 03:34PM
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Corban Knight is the Apex Player.

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#7 WildFire
June 18 2013, 04:39PM
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Corban Knight allowed the Oilers to amass all those number one picks, just so he could singlehandedly beat them as a Flame.

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#8 meat1
June 18 2013, 11:09PM
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Corbin Knight is here cuz LANNY sent him.

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#9 SmellOfVictory
June 18 2013, 12:59PM
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Corban Knight was conceived as Corban Smith. When he was born his strength and nobility were so evident that they changed his surname to reflect his personal qualities.

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#10 Parallex
June 18 2013, 01:39PM
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Brendan Shannahan has to become President of the Calgary Flames because he knows it'd be impossible to suspend Corban Knight.

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#11 marty
June 18 2013, 01:47PM
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who would win in a fight between lemmy and corban knight? trick question lemmy is corban knight.

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#12 Cowtown 1989
June 18 2013, 01:51PM
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Corban Knight has never lost a draw. He has simply chosen to let some pucks be free.

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#13 Lordmork
June 18 2013, 01:52PM
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This whole comment section is the best comment section.

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#14 SmellOfVictory
June 18 2013, 02:20PM
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Corban Knight doesn't play hockey. He is hockey.

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#15 BurningSensation
June 18 2013, 02:32PM
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Chuck Norris didn't go to college because he knew Corban Knight would be there.

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#16 BurningSensation
June 18 2013, 02:47PM
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Little known fact, Corban Knight was the 6th Beatle.

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#17 BurningSensation
June 18 2013, 03:12PM
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The last digit of pi is Corban Knight

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#18 Danger
June 18 2013, 03:31PM
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Fact #1: Corban Knight's future shining play is the reason Corey Hart was wearing his sunglasses back in the 80s. Corey Hart just isn't very good at spelling.

Fact #2: Corey Hart wasn't a one-hit wonder, he just went into hiding once he realized he'd misspelled Corban's last name.

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#20 Danger
June 18 2013, 03:42PM
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September 10, 1990: Corban Knight is born. George Bush and Mikhail Gorbachev meet in Helsinki to discuss the ramifications of this momentous event.

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#21 Artax
June 18 2013, 04:10PM
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If Jesus and Prophet mohammed had a baby, his name would be Corban Knight.

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#22 Danger
June 18 2013, 05:37PM
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Corban Knight practices faceoffs with the golden stick he got by beating the Devil in a faceoff contest.

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#23 SmellOfVictory
June 18 2013, 05:49PM
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Corban Knight can sing at a pitch that will shatter a wine glass. He can also sing at a pitch that will mend the resulting shards back into a better, stronger wine glass.

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#24 TheCalgaryJames
June 18 2013, 06:59PM
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Some children pee their names into snow Corban Knight can pee his name into solid concrete

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#25 KetchupKid
June 18 2013, 09:11PM
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If you can see Corban Knight, he can see you. If you CAN'T see Corban Knight, there's a good chance your girlfriend is pregnant.

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#26 KetchupKid
June 18 2013, 09:40PM
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Carbonite

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#27 Jeff In Lethbridge
June 18 2013, 10:08PM
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Corban Knight: Rebuild done.

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#28 Ken V.
June 18 2013, 10:16PM
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If you woke up this morning its because Corban Knight let you live.

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#29 BurningSensation
June 18 2013, 10:29PM
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"Oh, Corban Knight's very popular Ed. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads - they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude."

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#30 Ken V.
June 18 2013, 10:42PM
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Corban Knight challenged Superman and Batman to a strength challenge - loser had to wear their underwear over their pants.

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#31 Captain Ron
June 19 2013, 12:52AM
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You mess with Corbin....you go knight Knight

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#32 Flamestuff
June 19 2013, 03:38AM
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Some anagrams of the words "Corban Knight" include: - bra notch king - knob girth can... - bank torching - rink chat bong - bring not hack - ranking botch

(I'm sure that last one doesn't mean anything at all...)

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#33 Shredder
June 19 2013, 11:00AM
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Just your standard Oiler fan trolling...and this hilarious post beats all other hockey related posts ever...unless Corban Knight has a post somewhere. Then that's the greatest.

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#34 icedawg_42
June 18 2013, 12:53PM
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uh....Corban Knight once punched out Chuck Norris' beard, cause he could?

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#35 jeremywilhelm
June 18 2013, 12:55PM
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Corbin "David Bolland" Knight

Corbin "poor mans Jonathan Toews" Knight

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#36 Trianglereverie
June 18 2013, 12:56PM
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Corban Knight doesn't always fight crime but when he does the bad guys sentence themselves to life in prison.

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#37 schevvy
June 18 2013, 12:57PM
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Corban Knight came up with the idea of quantum physics

Corban Knight is the greatest athlete to ever come out of High River

Corban Knight may in fact be a middle-aged Batman. (Stole that one from twitter)

Corban Knight is actually Wayne Gretzky 2.0

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#38 Trianglereverie
June 18 2013, 01:02PM
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Corban Knight doesn't come from High River. HIGH RIVER comes from Corban Knight.

Sir Corban wasn't knighted by the Queen the Queen was crowned by Sir Corban.

Earth wasn't created by the big bang. It was created by Corban Knight eating too many burritos.

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#40 Jeff Lebowski
June 18 2013, 01:07PM
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Ridiculous thought of mine:

I want super competitive guys. Guys like Tom Brady. There are some of us who are poor losers. You know, when we play NHL '10 or any game, that if you lose, you throw your controller, you turn the power off so it doesn't get recorded, you demand a rematch right away.

Some guys say they hate to lose, where other guys really mean it. We are miserable losers. Unpleasant to be around, demand and expect to win and win decisively and relentlessly. You never let up, you win 14-0 if you can or 9-8 or 1-0. However you don't take undisciplined penalties either. But I'd rather try to reign that in rather than not have it.

I hope Knight is just a relentless super competitive guy and I hope Feaster brings in a bunch of guys like that. Controller tossers!

also they need a sh!t ton of skill.

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#41 schevvy
June 18 2013, 01:08PM
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Corbin Knight is a professional controller tosser.,

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#42 Southern_Point
June 18 2013, 01:08PM
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With the advantage of hindsight NHL scouts agree that 15 year old Corban Knight should have been the number one overall pick in the 2005 draft.

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#43 dean the raven
June 18 2013, 01:10PM
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Corban Knight taught Dave Grohl how to Rawk! And Corban Knight is his real name!

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#44 icedawg_42
June 18 2013, 01:11PM
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SmellOfVictory wrote:

Twenty-four people have been to the moon; seventeen of them are Corban Knight.

Hahah...this one!

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#45 dean the raven
June 18 2013, 01:12PM
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Jeff Lebowski wrote:

Ridiculous thought of mine:

I want super competitive guys. Guys like Tom Brady. There are some of us who are poor losers. You know, when we play NHL '10 or any game, that if you lose, you throw your controller, you turn the power off so it doesn't get recorded, you demand a rematch right away.

Some guys say they hate to lose, where other guys really mean it. We are miserable losers. Unpleasant to be around, demand and expect to win and win decisively and relentlessly. You never let up, you win 14-0 if you can or 9-8 or 1-0. However you don't take undisciplined penalties either. But I'd rather try to reign that in rather than not have it.

I hope Knight is just a relentless super competitive guy and I hope Feaster brings in a bunch of guys like that. Controller tossers!

also they need a sh!t ton of skill.

Take a "Big" Man to admit it, Lebowski. Strike!

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#46 Trianglereverie
June 18 2013, 01:13PM
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And then God said: "Let there be Knight" Corban Knight.

The Hand of God hasn't got nothing on the Hands of Knight.

Corban Knight wins face offs just with his eyes. *Knights Stare*

Corban Knight doesn't block shots the puck swerves wide because it's afraid of hitting Corban Knight.

Corban Knight was trained by Jack Bauer. Jack Bauer tried to pull on Corban and Corban killed him with his stare.

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#47 icedawg_42
June 18 2013, 01:13PM
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Corban Knight once flew across the universe to rescue the supreme being and save the Earth. No wait..that was Corbin Dallas. But he's awesome anyway.

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#48 schevvy
June 18 2013, 01:13PM
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Instead of calling Ghostbusters people call Corban Knight

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#49 TheRealPoc
June 18 2013, 01:22PM
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To ensure fans were adequately prepared to understand and appreciate His impending greatness, Corban Knight invented #fancystats. At the age of 6 months old.

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#50 bookofloob
June 18 2013, 01:26PM
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Corban Knight's favourite Care Bear is Norm

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