BRIAN SUTHERBY NAMED NEW NATION NETWORK OVERLORD

Wanye
June 10 2014 03:10PM


It’s summer at the Nation Network. All five sites’ teams missed the playoffs this season -- a new record -- so thanks guys. The annual “the Oilers missed the playoffs so Wanye goes running off into the world to backpack and pout” trip is now over. We are looking straight down the barrel of another Charity draft party and are starting to shill tickets.

The machine can't stop turning just because every single team we cover has failed epically.

BACKSTORY

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The Nation Network welcomed its 57 millionth visitor in company history a couple weeks back. 38% of those visitors came during the last seven months, so we are growing at a good clip. This perpetual balancing act of technology development, advertising sales, content creation and keeping all these here plates spinning in the air can be tricky business.

We are tremendously proud to have 49 writers on the team. For our money these are the best crew of hockey writers in the business and we are looking to expand this roster aggressively in the coming months. It’s also tricky work convincing new recruits to bring their talents to our sites and, once on board, keeping all of these digital pirates under control requires an iron fisted overlord with a heart of gold - or at the very least heart muscle.

The job was initially done by our dear bingofuel back in 2007. He helped your ol’ pal Wanye start up OilersNation and we sat around scratching our respective heads wondering how the internet worked for a good three years as the network grew to 3 sites – OilersNation, FlamesNation and CanucksArmy. Then bingofuel bounced to go be a social media strategist, taking a bag of cash with him on the way out the door.

Then in 2010 the torch was handed over to Kent Wilson, who was Editor-in-Chief for a three year span before he too wisely bounced for a lucrative position at a money printing enterprise in Calgary which invented crude oil or something. In any event, Kent still runs FlamesNation and does a great job keeping that ship pointed up. 

But the big chair has been empty for nearly a year now.

NOWSTORY

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Clearly your ol’ pal Wanye can’t be trusted to motivate and provide support to all our beloved writers. We are far too eccentric and far too remote to be counted on. Unread emails pile up in our inbox by the minute, and we legitimately have not answered a phone number we didn’t recognize since 2005. This is no way to run a plentyoffish account, much less a business trying to find it's way in the world.

No we want to work on writing more articles and work on getting our new startup launched. We need to call in the big guns to help with this gig.

FUTURESTORY

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What we need now is somebody with nerves of steel. Someone who won’t be phased if the readers of CanucksArmy go bananas and turn on each other. Someone who isn’t concerned by internet trolls with flame throwers in hand. Someone who won’t cower under his bed when Robin Brownlee calls looking for blood for some matter or other.*

Enter Brian Sutherby.

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A veteran of 460 NHL games, Suds came aboard as a partner last season upon the completion of his hockey career. In that time he has been establishing himself on the radio co-hosting the Jason Gregor show weekly on TSN 1260 in Edmonton. He has also been making his mark at NationHQ, swaggering around, attending meetings, building himself the finest desk in all the office and sitting in a chair so ornate it is usually reserved for ruling Emirate Sheiks.

And now he has been named Editor-in-Chief and given the enviable task of opening the Nation Network American HQ in California. Commuting back and forth between the frozen streets of Edmonton and the sunny shores of Cali, Suds will be operating a strict regimen of no nonsensery, professional conduct and ass kickings where merited.

Asked for his take on the promotion, he was quoted (by me, just now) as saying “Hey man, if it gets us started on growing the Network in the States, I’m in. Someone has to go to Cali, it might as well be me.”

Then he started talking about being an Anaheim Mighty Duck or something. We can’t really recall. Being so relieved that the sceptre of power had once again been handed off from our slothily lazy hands, we immediately went to sleep under our desk.

So good luck to you, Suds. Please bring pocketfuls of that Cali sand to Edmonton when you come back for meetings. And good luck to all our writers. The new boss used to fight super heavy weights for a living. If anything, retirement has made him grumpier.

*See Gretz, Wanye 2007-present.

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 Kent Wilson
June 10 2014, 03:16PM
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Dear law enforcement professionals: please disregard Wanye's reference to my money printing enterprise. No counterfeiting is being done in Calgary. Honest. Go Flames!

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#2 Robin Brownlee
June 10 2014, 03:57PM
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Wanye wrote:

Robin Brownlee is legit my fave sportswriter in Edmonton History. I have many articles of his from years ago that I cut out and put in a shoebox in my closet in my childhood home.

While I enjoy your lips on my backside like that, I'd like to know when I start getting paid for writing here.

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#4 rubbertrout
June 10 2014, 04:09PM
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SUTHERBY:

"CLICK ON ALL BANNER ADS OR HULK SMASH"

EVERYONE ELSE: "Yes sir."

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#6 freeze
June 10 2014, 03:18PM
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^^^^LOL

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#8 The Towel Boy
June 10 2014, 03:21PM
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Sweet news! Keep on keep'n on, Nations!

I, for one, welcome our new overlord!

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#9 Bucknuck
June 10 2014, 03:26PM
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Be Nice to Brownlee! It's good to have a guy around who can smell Bull$h!t and label it appropriately. Even if he's wrong when he disagrees with me. Like in 2008 when I was saying Horcoff was a first line centre... oh wait... nevermind.

Yeah, keep Brownlee happy. Not that he gives a rats a$$ what I think, but then again that's part of his charm.

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#10 Kent Wilson
June 10 2014, 03:59PM
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@Robin Brownlee

Wait...people get paid to write here?

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#12 Lowetide
June 10 2014, 04:27PM
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I interviewed Mr. Sutherby once, he gave intelligent answers and didn't back away from the tough questions ("Why in CHRIST didn't you sign with Edmonton, we were down to Horcoff and five tooth picks at center!") and came across as the genuine article.

His work at ON and with JG suggests a smart, able human being.

Jesus Murphy, he'll stick out like a sore thumb! Congrats Mr. Sutherby, I often forget my password and Willis can't hit the toilet for love nor money.

LT

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#13 baggedmilk
June 10 2014, 04:29PM
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ALL HAIL LORD SUTHERBY!

*hides in hopes that he doesn't see me*

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#14 baggedmilk
June 10 2014, 04:30PM
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Wanye wrote:

Takes compliment as insult and insults back unprovoked.

*takes notes on clipboard*

I'm not surprised. I offered Brownlee the opportunity of a lifetime to be my roommate and he threw it back in my face! For shame, Brownlee.

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#15 Austin Wallace
June 10 2014, 05:26PM
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Wanye wrote:

Firing myself shows that I can both read poor talent and take needed steps to remove under performing staff members. It bodes well long term for my dreams of being a baller but is bad for my short term prospects as a self employed now unemployed man.

*shakes begging cup*

Is it possible to Farve a self-firing? Is there precedent for this?

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#16 Lemming
June 10 2014, 05:58PM
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I'll gladly write for you! Sure, I have no experience, no training, nothing interesting to say, and I smell, but I know where Caps Lock is, and I'm not afraid to use it! Seriously though, grats Sutherby.

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#17 Christian Roatis
June 10 2014, 06:07PM
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Does this mean we all get a raise?! :D

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#18 Scott Basinger
June 10 2014, 06:56PM
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Just keep reorganizing and rebuilding. In 8 or so years you really could be a contender.

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#19 I tried it at home
June 10 2014, 10:16PM
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A long time ago when Strudwick was brought on board, I saw fit to question that decision. Needless to say, it wasn't the most popular call. In the time since, I have greatly enjoyed Strudwick's writing and his radio show, so much so that I actually miss out on sleep to catch him on air. I also used to mock Brownlee's writing until I listened to him on air and actually met the chap, again, now my favorite "writer and crusty ol' buggar". So, now I will just say, Mr Sutherby, I look forward to seeing you in action, and good luck. When you triumphantly take the Nations to the Promised Land and reap the bonanza of riches, make sure Wanye remembers to pay the bonus money.

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#20 Hat
June 10 2014, 11:25PM
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@JSR

Because the sens aren't sensational and Canada is already a nation.

Ba da tch.

*Crickets*

Thank you. I'll be here... Oh, roughly for another five minutes before being chased off my digital stage.

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#21 Oilfan69
June 11 2014, 07:51AM
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I think I feel dumber for watching that music video but for some reason I couldn't turn it off :)

ohh and congrats Suds.

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#22 Fish
June 11 2014, 09:37AM
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Wait, Struds going to Cali? Does he not realize how this will affect his sweater wearing abilities, or is he fine with excessive sweating?

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#23 G
June 12 2014, 09:16AM
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I hope suds gets rid of brownlee asap! Brownlee is hot garbage

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#24 Ryan Pike
June 10 2014, 03:19PM
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That explains why the bills Kent uses to pay me all have Brian Burke's face on them...

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#26 MessyEH
June 10 2014, 04:14PM
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The Oilers fired... uh mm... reassigned Bucky.

Wanye fires himself... trying to steal the Thunder;)

I am surprised you didn't create a reality TV show titled "Chasing the nation". Or "The Next Wanye Gretz.... media mogul" it could air right after the episode of COPS, when they found you in the bushes outside Sir Jordan of Eberle's home.

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#27 vetinari
June 10 2014, 04:43PM
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Congrats on the reorganization.

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#28 ubermiguel
June 10 2014, 05:01PM
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If you need a new writer I hear Steve Smith might be looking for something.

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#30 Oilers Coffey
June 10 2014, 05:22PM
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Congrats on the growth of the Nation Network :) I've been asked numerous times here in Southern Alberta where'd you get that snazy Tshirt, I point to the back and say at Oilers Nation of course!

I see Wanye now being able to hit the "Easy Button" sitting back on the beach with an umbrella drink and surely well deserved for growing this amazing network!

Good luck Suds! Sounds like you already got a great handle on things, wow US Expansion.

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#31 Austin Wallace
June 10 2014, 05:25PM
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ubermiguel wrote:

If you need a new writer I hear Steve Smith might be looking for something.

If you need a new writer, I hear Steve Simmons might be looking for a

fight.

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#32 ChinookArch
June 10 2014, 05:30PM
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Did anyone let Sutterby know he's the Overloard now?

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#33 Brian Sutherby
June 10 2014, 06:02PM
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@Lowetide

You the man Lowetide!! Thanks

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#34 Brian Sutherby
June 10 2014, 06:05PM
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@Oilers Coffey

Gracias

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#35 Robin Brownlee
June 10 2014, 07:00PM
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If Sutherby runs the network as efficiently has he worked the left hand beating Strudwick down, we'll be in good shape.

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#36 RexLibris
June 10 2014, 07:54PM
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Kent Wilson wrote:

Dear law enforcement professionals: please disregard Wanye's reference to my money printing enterprise. No counterfeiting is being done in Calgary. Honest. Go Flames!

To be fair we need to remember that any alleged printing Kent may or may not be doing is only to pay for parking in Calgary.

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#37 beloch
June 10 2014, 08:25PM
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RexLibris wrote:

To be fair we need to remember that any alleged printing Kent may or may not be doing is only to pay for parking in Calgary.

You're statistically more likely to be caught counterfeiting parking permits than you are Canadian currency, so the choice is pretty obvious. Do not #$%@ with CPA. You'll wake up in bed with your favorite auto's severed fuel pump laying next to you!

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#38 JSR
June 10 2014, 10:55PM
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One question regarding the Nations Networks, Wanye...how come no Sensnation or Habsnation?

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#39 vetinari
June 11 2014, 11:15AM
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Kent Wilson wrote:

Dear law enforcement professionals: please disregard Wanye's reference to my money printing enterprise. No counterfeiting is being done in Calgary. Honest. Go Flames!

Maybe FlamesNation can be sponsored by the criminal defence firm of "Dewey, Cheatum & Howe"?

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#40 Jodan
June 11 2014, 04:14PM
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Wanye wrote:

We have lots of expansion plans written down on the wall of HQ but MTL and OTT aren't at the top of the list at the moment. Which on the one hand is awesome as my cousin is the biggest Sens fan in the world AN HE CANT HAVE ONE

*snaps fingers in a Z*

Also, with all the trolls that crawled out of their moms' basement when canucks army (NOT a Nation site I'd like to point out) oozed from the bowels of Wanye's sick imagination; could you imagine what would happen when Habs Nation gets fired up!? Have you ever been cursed at in french? it is both unsettling and hilarious and usually leaves you feeling dirty

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#41 Brian Sutherby
June 10 2014, 06:04PM
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Lemming wrote:

I'll gladly write for you! Sure, I have no experience, no training, nothing interesting to say, and I smell, but I know where Caps Lock is, and I'm not afraid to use it! Seriously though, grats Sutherby.

Hired!

You start tomorrow. You can sit in Wanye's chair

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#42 Holla Daze
June 11 2014, 08:36PM
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I like Wayne as a writer here. He doesn't take himself so seriously like the shill writers here such as Sham Blogne and Dimitri Flippy Ruskie. Baggedmilk is also good, not as pretentious as the 6 Clavens here who obviously make a living scalping tickets.

Where you at PBS? Hahaha!

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