Flames Nation Weekly Power Rankings: 20 Things is a lot of things

bookofloob
February 23 2015 11:00AM

prankings

So we've been doing these power rankings for a month now (almost!), and let me tell you, to think up 20 players and/or things to rank each and every week, well for me, a lowly street urchin with a Grade 3 education, it gets pretty darn difficult filling these out every week.

Especially when there's not a whole lot of rankable Flames stuff that has gone down lately. I have to use my own cunning and wit to get through this, so we are all truly doomed.

Anyway, here are this week's power rankings. They are, as always, just crazy important, so please treat them with such regard.

Thank you.

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FlamesNation Power Rankings: A Rising Juggernaut of Sorted Lists

bookofloob
February 16 2015 10:00AM

prankings

The Gods of Time have been merciful yet again, and blessed us with a brand new week for us to toil and coast and generally not reach the lofty goals those very Gods intended of us, thus leading them a great deal of introspection and questioning as to why they grant us this luxury in the first place.

But at least this week we get an extra day off, so try not to worry about it too much.

Meanwhile, your Calgary Flames continue their path to relevancy, still on the cusp of being out of the wilderness, but tenously close to being pulled back in by the Wolves of Playoff Missing Woe, which are most certainly a thing. Man, the woods are a dangerous place. Don't go into them. Ales Kotalik is in there.

In the midst of all this quest is appreciable trends and patterns that experts suss out and use to provide evidence driven factoids and predictive results.

I am not one of those experts.

I'm here to just list a bunch of Flames related movers and shakers and arbitrarily rank them based on things I'm mostly pretending I saw them do. 

So without further adieu, here are this weeks Power Rankings. As always, they are super cereal.

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Post Game: Cupid Runs Short On Arrows; Uses Lance

bookofloob
February 15 2015 12:36AM

lance


Please don't leave me, I promise this will still be good despite the tough start.

It's Valentine's Day, and there's been a lot of talk about love today, and what it means. What it's about. In short, it is a day to reflect about who you love, and what you love about them.

In my case, I think I love the Vancouver Canucks, and I do so because there is really just nothing greater than when they lose to your Calgary Flames.

(please note: I hate the Vancouver Canucks)

Anyway, the Canucks lost to the Flames on this night, and I loved every second of that. All this and a Linden Vey pun that makes me want to move to Pluto and never talk to people ever again in tonight's recap!

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FlamesNation Power Rankings - Deal With It

bookofloob
February 10 2015 10:00AM

prankingsi


Well, seeing as they went over pretty well last week, and seeing as it was something that we decided was going to be a weekly feature well before it ever got posted, the Flames Nation Weekly Power Rankings have returned. (A day late, but you know, pretend it's Monday. Everyone likes to pretend it's Monday)

If you don't know, and you don't because nobody knows what power rankings really are (myself included), this is a feature where I look at the movers and shakers surrounding your Calgary Flames, find some common trends within that data, drink a lot, and then discard all that information  in favour of some quick hits ranking those on the team in a matter most disparate of fact or logic.

You'd think I'd be sorry about it. You'd think. Anywho, here they are! As always, please take these rankings seriously. I almost worked very hard on them.

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I Have The Power (Rankings)!!!

bookofloob
February 02 2015 09:00AM

heman


Welcome to a new weekly feature here on the mighty Flames Nation: our Flames Power Rankings. I, The effervescent Flooby you all know and kinda tolerate, will examine short and medium trends surrounding your Calgary Flames, interpret all that hard data, throw all that meaning out the window and callously rank them in a tedious list that really in no way offers you anything insightful.

Because really, that's what Power Rankings are all about. I think. I don't know. It's been years and I still have no idea what they are really supposed to be. So with that in mind, please treat this list with the absolute severity with which they were intended. I almost worked hard on this.

Welcome to the new perfect way to start off your stupid, grim Mondays. I hate you all.

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