BREAKING: Flames Still Kinda Crazy

September 14 2015 11:29AM

With the excitement of looming training camps and the promise of NHL hockey just around the bend, these days are the ramp up to a mini silly season where we over-speculate on everything and tend to blow minor things out of proportion. It's the time of year where we can let these minor errors in judgment go, and, unless the team did something completely cra-

Okay this is completely unacceptable.

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FlamesNation Prospect Profile: #20 Rushan Rafikov

August 10 2015 01:30PM


Well, Citizens, we’re into August, which is a wonderful time to be alive as a human. But if you're a hockey fan, every day is grueling fresh hell until AT LEAST mid-September, as those last wretched few days before training camp begins slowly wilt away, a fading memory aptly correspondent to a season that encourages fading memories.

As far as the blog game goes, it is THE PITS. Content is at a premium (you may have noticed all the pieces inviting you to re-live prior seasons in which your Calgary Flames toiled in over the past decade. Don’t worry, I didn’t read those either). But fear not, fellow work procrastinators, the mighty Flames Nation has you covered, as today we begin our fabled Top 20 Prospect Profile, where we go deep on the best young talent this organization has to offer.

Your boy Flooby is up first. I’ll be profiling young Rushan Rafikov in the number 20 spot. If there's anything you’ve ever wanted to know about the Russian defender, well boy howdy, uh, you’re still going to have to wait, because the goods on Rafikov are so tightly under wrap that I felt like I was going back under the Iron Curtain to obtain it.

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The Rally Tie

May 08 2015 02:42PM


We're starting trends here, today, Citizens.

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The Pond Ain't So Scary If You Know How To Swim

April 30 2015 04:01PM


If you say so

In the unassailable cult classic film, The Mighty Ducks, Coach Gordon Bombay, as portrayed by the illustrious Emilio Estevez, surmises that you never see a duck in a fight, because "The other animals are afraid. They know, if they mess with one duck, they have to deal with the whole flock,"

That may be true, but ol' Gord fails to mention that if you did happen to get into a tussle with one of our feathered friends, that if you stepped on it, or hit it in the eye, or poked it with a stick, or, I don't know, set it on fire, the other wannabe geese are probably not stepping in and you have earned the right to hoist the crown over your head, proclaiming you Grand Ruler Of All Ducks.

I mean quite honestly, if I fought a flock of ducks, I would trounce them so handily that I could set ten of them up in a triangle, and bowl the eleventh bird at the pile and get a strike and buy cheap beer in the lounge later on.

I suppose what I'm getting at is if your second round playoff opponent exists solely because of a popular Disney movie from before the days where anyone had the internet at home to entertain them, maybe it's silly to be that worried about the outcome of the series.

Today, we're going to talk about why it's stupid to pay any attention to Calgary's futile record at the Honda Center, and why we shouldn't be concerned about our heroes in red playing there, outside of an increased chance of exposure to mumps (that was obligatory and I'm sorry, but you know I had to). My amazing pal Stace, who has a history when it comes to pointing out the inequities of the Ducks, will join us to give the perspective of a Duck hating hockey fan living in Southern California (if you enjoyed her thoughts on how boring the Blackhawks are, you'll want to stick around), and, in general, we'll just make fun of Anaheim for being the low brow shitdemon of the league where sorrow is born and misery is raised as an insolent son with boundary issues and loves Sublime.

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Whales Can't Skate

April 15 2015 04:02PM


Because they don't have legs, y'all.

Well, Citizens, our day has come. and for the first time since the birth of this fabulous little blog, we get to cover your Calgary Flames as they battle their way through the playoffs, and for someone who has been doing this writing thing since the Fredrik Modin era in bygone Flames history, this was beginning to look like a day I'd never see.

Nonetheless, we're all here now, and I don't know about you, but I'm itchin' to get down to business! We've been covering our heroes and their chances since that fateful day our brave giantkillers #BeatLA and clinched their spot in the tournament of champions. We've profiled everyone, and will continue to do so.

And we've known this whole time that the Flaming C is facing off against their long time rival and over-border hoodrat Vancouver Canucks, yet here at the Nation, we have not spilled much digital ink talking about that. And I feel it's important we do, because they're the enemy now, one we know so very well, and if we're not hating them, we're not trying. So that's what we're going to do today.

For the past 5 or 6 days, we've heard all the experts and Johnny know it alls in the local media weigh in on the series, and while there are a lot of calls for the plucky underdog Flames to limp on out of the series with their hands raised in victory, most scribes are giving the nod to Vancouver, and putting a lot of lipstick on a pig in the process.

That pig is Kevin Bieksa.

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