Flames Nation Power Rankings: Shout Out To Numbers

March 16 2015 08:30AM


Another week, another series of "Against All Odds" wins for your Calgary Flames (actually, in reality there was just one because the Leafs are hilariously bad and the victory over that hapless bunch of sucks was about as dominant a win as we've seen all year, and then reality kinda caught up to the Flaming C in a loss to the surging Colorado Avalanche who are the worst and are bad and need to be stopped)

While these wins are super, SUPER fun, it does have a lot of fans and outside observers beginning to fall prey to confirmation bias, in which the dramatic wins have people believing that this team is good despite being outplayed and consistently outpossessed. (be honest, you wouldn't have been surprised if this were real)

This is, of course, crazy, but when you boil it down, the very nature of professional sports is downright asinine, so you'll forgive fans if they're willing to look past some pretty glaring truths.

I'm not here to re-open the debate, just to point out that this week was highlighted by discussion surrounding the Flames from all over the league, about when the other shoe is going to drop, and the resulting perceived but not really real war between stats advocates and the normies. It got stupid and no one liked it, and we really need to stop arguing over it (mostly because stats nerds won, just accept it).

Anyway, maybe we're in need of a distraction from all of this, so here's this week's power rankings, which are the most serious piece of news you'll read all week, so get your eyeholes all prepped now. Let's ride.

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Late Afternoon Flames Nation Power Rankings: I Got Nothing Left

March 09 2015 03:56PM


Well, Citizens, the good news is that crazy things keep happening to the Flames on what has been truly a wild ride of a season, and that's helping me complete these power rankings, and that's good, because I'm certainly not creative enough to get through a week of rankings for, let's say Winnipeg, where generally nothing interesting ever seems to happen.

(I just recoiled at the thought of being a Jets fan. Oh gag)

Anyway, I think this week's piece will demonstrate both of these things: The Flames year is ridiculous and fun, and I am bad at this.

So read on, and remember, as always, the gravity and serious intent of this. It's kind of a big deal.

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Flames Nation Weekly Power Rankings: How To Make This Worse

March 03 2015 03:16PM


Let's face it, yesterday sucked. On a personal note, I had to come back from a week long trip to California (I got a sunburn in February, so yeah, it was pretty good) and every time I got off a plane (I had two connector flights because I wanted to save like probably only $30 or something) bad things happened.

My first connection was in Salt Lake City and two monumentally bad things happened. A) I was in Salt Lake City, and B) Sven got traded. But not only did Sven get traded, Sven got traded to THEM.

Then, upon setting foot into Sea-Tac on what was actually a very lovely afternoon in Seattle, I was beset with paralysis after reading the news that Mark Giordano was to miss the rest of the season (and playoffs, as if to suggest this team has any business being in the playoffs with Giordano out of the lineup)

We were all still trying to come to terms with the hilarity of David Clarkson killing the Leafs being ruined, then these bombshells. There is maybe a prevailing thought amongst you, the readers of this fine blog, that these here power rankings might distract you from the grim reality plaguing our heroes in Cowtown, and I'm here to tell you "I don't know".

So here they are! As always, please take them very. seriously.

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Flames Nation Weekly Power Rankings: 20 Things is a lot of things

February 23 2015 11:00AM


So we've been doing these power rankings for a month now (almost!), and let me tell you, to think up 20 players and/or things to rank each and every week, well for me, a lowly street urchin with a Grade 3 education, it gets pretty darn difficult filling these out every week.

Especially when there's not a whole lot of rankable Flames stuff that has gone down lately. I have to use my own cunning and wit to get through this, so we are all truly doomed.

Anyway, here are this week's power rankings. They are, as always, just crazy important, so please treat them with such regard.

Thank you.

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FlamesNation Power Rankings: A Rising Juggernaut of Sorted Lists

February 16 2015 10:00AM


The Gods of Time have been merciful yet again, and blessed us with a brand new week for us to toil and coast and generally not reach the lofty goals those very Gods intended of us, thus leading them a great deal of introspection and questioning as to why they grant us this luxury in the first place.

But at least this week we get an extra day off, so try not to worry about it too much.

Meanwhile, your Calgary Flames continue their path to relevancy, still on the cusp of being out of the wilderness, but tenously close to being pulled back in by the Wolves of Playoff Missing Woe, which are most certainly a thing. Man, the woods are a dangerous place. Don't go into them. Ales Kotalik is in there.

In the midst of all this quest is appreciable trends and patterns that experts suss out and use to provide evidence driven factoids and predictive results.

I am not one of those experts.

I'm here to just list a bunch of Flames related movers and shakers and arbitrarily rank them based on things I'm mostly pretending I saw them do. 

So without further adieu, here are this weeks Power Rankings. As always, they are super cereal.

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