Welcome to the 24th Game Day Fire Drill, for this, Calgary’s 72nd game of the season on March 23, 2009.
(Please enjoy the adorable baby animal friends above. They are the last thing you will find likable about the night.)
Ah all the optimism for this homestand. I remember those days.
Saying, “Well they could be 2-0-0 headed into that Detroit game. We could deal with a loss then.” Oh ho, how naïve.
The defense is a shambles, the goaltending sucks, the offense scored just two goals against the freakin’ Blues. And now the Flames have to deal with the friggin’ Red Wings. The Flames actually enter this game going, “Jeez we kinda gotta pull this out to keep the Canucks off our asses.” AGAINST DETROIT! THEY HAVE TO SAY THIS!
So know what sucks? That. That sucks.
The good news is that they could very well turn this into a comedy of errors, not unlike the movie “Meet the Parents,” at least insofar as a cat making potty on the ashes of dearly departed relatives qualifies as “comedy.”
The Calgary Flames (41-24-6 for 88 points. Third in the West, first in the Northwest) and the Detroit Red Wings (48-15-9 for 105 points. Second in the West, first in the Central)
7:30 p.m. Mountain time and 9:30 p.m. Eastern time. All other time zones should be honest with each other.
Pengrowth Saddledome, Calgary, Alberta.
Calgary is 23-9-4 at home this year, but just lost to the Blues so, uh, that’s not good. The Wings are an excellent 22-10-5 away from the Joe and are undefeated in their last five road games.
What (to hate about the Red Wings):
Tomas Holmstrom — One of these days, some goalie is gonna get very upset that there is an ass directly in front of his face, and he is going to hack Holmstrom so hard in the back of the leg that his MCL sticks to the end of the blade. And it will have been completely deserved. Because Holmstrom is an asshole.
Chris Chelios — Hey Old Man River, why not keep rolling along right on out of the NHL, you ugly idiot. Also, I’ve been to Cheli’s Chili and that place stinks.
Mike Babcock — Nice hat, Dick Tracy. Why not see if you can get Pruneface to play wing on the fourth line?
Eminem and Kid Rock — Both white trash, both put out unlistenable albums, both love the Red Wings. Coincidence? Almost certainly not.
They’re gonna win — Probably. I said it last time and they didn’t, soooooo….. fingers crossed!
Masochism. Enjoy the game and talk about how badly this is all going in the comments section.