*sigh* shut out… again

3f77c13eb015a-36-1

If that Flames fan had threatened to “bomb” and “shoot” me, I’d have taken him up on it.

I don’t even know what to say after that. Jesus Christ on a pogo stick that was unwatchable.

The Good

Hahahahaha like anything would go here.

The Bad

Moving right along then

The Ugly

The offense — The Flames haven’t scored on an actual goalie in 134:29. Mhmm.

The defense — This is a good part of the season to start giving up five goals. Yes it is.

The goaltending — Another bang-up job outta Miikka Kiprusoff. Three goals on 17 shots. Sick. Curtis McElhinney fared slightly better, giving up two on 19. Team save percentage last night: .861. Perfect.

Special teams — ST net for last night was 3 for 12. Three for twelve. The boys went 0 for 7 on the power play and 3 for 5 on the penalty kill. That’s remarkable.

Discipline — It’s good to take 60 penalty minutes in a game. It’s better when like 37 of those are in the span of 12 minutes or so.

Faceoffs — Winning 42 percent against Pittsburgh was bad. Winning 35 percent against Columbus is much, much worse.

Dion Phaneuf — How long before Keenan just benches this kid? He’s dreadful.

Olli Jokinen and Jarome Iginla — Didn’t do dick last night. They set a tone, but it was the one from South Park that makes everyone crap their pants simultaneously.

Pressure — Oh yeah, they put 33 shots on Steve Mason, but if at any point you felt like one was going to go in, you are an insane maniac.

Coaching — Mike Keenan’s got to start throwing things in the locker room and scare the piss out of these guys, because whatever’s currently going on isn’t cutting the mustard. This is an inexcusable run of poor play with less than 10 games to go before the playoffs. And as it stands right now, Calgary would draw, you guessed it, Columbus. That’d go well.

This season — Barring a miracle, it’s cooked like dinner.

  • I love the links you always include in your articles. I have told all my friends about this site – but they are too scared to comment! LOL

    Look at me! I'm not scared

    go flames.

  • they caught that guy with call display….. can you freaking imagine being 50+ years old and that freaking stupid…. oh man.

    the ugly has some very good points, but there is not a snowballs chance in hell that Keenan benches Dion…. not with big brother D hawking down from the rafters. It would send one amazing message and frankly, why not.. pardy is after all a d guy not a winger (clearly) so the spare body is sitting right there.

    Have a meeting.

  • I read this site daily. I just haven't had the guts to post comments but I guess I should seeing as people are being called out above.

    I really like TLP's humour and I have been reading Kent at FHF for a long time. This site needs a couple additional writers and it is away to the races! :O)

  • On that note, I'd like to say that more comments is better than less. Even though TLP and I are kind of jerks, we both welcome comments/complaints/questions/criticisms.

    So, for any regulars out there, feel free to chime in.

  • You should add a section to the bottom of these threads called "The Totally Crap" and move the entire article into there. Oy gevalt!! At least I got a shutout for Masons efforts in my pool.

    And maybe a section called the "Uh-Oh". In that section you could write how the Flames have 3 back to backs to close the season….with the second game of two of those coming on the road. Worse yet, one of those is in Vancouver. Anyone else see 2nd in the NW looming ever more presently in the mirror?

    And it really sucks that the Canucks get to play the dregs of the league for the entire months of March and April. Maybe we should get that guy who made the phone calls to give the schedule maker a ring.

  • Kent wrote:

    Even though TLP and I are kind of jerks, we both welcome comments/complaints/questions/criticisms.

    They are both kind of jerks. I can totally vouch for this. One time TLP pretended to fall when we were walking in the street. I stopped to help him up and Kent totally stole my wallet.

    Jerks.

  • Wanye Gretz wrote:

    Kent wrote:

    Even though TLP and I are kind of jerks, we both welcome comments/complaints/questions/criticisms.
    They are both kind of jerks. I can totally vouch for this. One time TLP pretended to fall when we were walking in the street. I stopped to help him up and Kent totally stole my wallet.
    Jerks.

    Except the joke was on us since all you had in your wallet was an old condom and a picture of John Stamos.

  • @ Kent:
    @ TLP:

    Maybe they were stuck together but the thing you er, uh need to um, remember is –

    *delivers karate chop to both TLP and Kent's thoraxes, runs away at top speed*