QTNA 6: Sexy Texty and Salary Caps

confucius

I appreciate all of the questions that you have sent in, and I’m always surprised at how many are non-sports related. I won’t give financial advice, and while some of the dating ones are funny I’m no Dr. Sue Johanson. Although hosting a show like that once a week would be pure comedy. Apparently people think if you are on the radio you are interested in solving all of life’s little mysteries.

I know Oiler fans are pissed that for a third straight year, and five of the last seven, your team is out of the dance, but your hopefully your life isn’t as boring as our friend John here, who sent in this email looking for an answer.

Wanye note: I used to think Gregor made up these questions. But he actually forwarded me these in advance to show me a glimpse into the insanity that is his inbox at Just a Game. I weep for society. This were actual questions and this was really the answer he mailed back to John.

If you have a question, send it to jason@justagame.ca.

Hi Jason,
I have a question that I believe you and only you will have the answer to: Quite simply, why does it burn when I urinate?

Truly Yours,
– John

Really John? This is what you want me to answer? Probably because you have low self esteem and keep going home with 180 pound randoms. Then you decide against buckling up, which isn’t smart, because she says she is on the pill. Then you brace yourself against the porcelain god, as the pain rips through your millimeter peter when you try to whiz. And you are wondering if was it worth it?

Only you can answer if those 45 seconds of pleasure with a lady of dubious quality was worth the constant reminder of razor blades down your urinary tract three times a day.

Figure it out John. Ick.

Jason,
Who do you like for the NHL player awards, specifically the Hart, Jack Adams and Norris?
– Tim S

Like you Tim, I could care less who wins the Lady Bing, or who is even nominated. Is it based solely on low PIMs, or can people really tell who is sportsmanlike? I don’t even know who I would pick on the Oilers. Gilbert and Cogliano aren’t physical, but does that make them more sportsmanlike than a guy like Strudwick, who plays tough, but not cheap. Does not taking penalties make you more sportsmanlike? The league thinks so. Look for Zack Parise to beat out Marty St. Louis and Pavel Datsyuk in a close race.

The three finalists for the Norris should be Mike Green, Shea Weber and Dan Boyle. The more I watch Boyle I think he might be the most underrated player in the league. He has a great first pass, is solid in both ends and has become the leader on the Sharks back end. He will probably get overshadowed by Nick Lidstrom, but he has been just as good this year.

People used to say Weber was a poor mans Dion Phaneuf, but this season he has been better than the former 9th overall pick. Weber is just as physical, scores more, and makes better decisions with the puck. He plays every situation and on a team that can’t score his production has kept the Preds in the playoff hunt.

Mike Green became only the 8th D-man in NHL history to score 30 goals in a season, joining Bobby Orr (five times), Paul Coffey (four), Denis Potvin (three), Doug Wilson, Phil Housley, Kevin Hatcher and Ray Bourque.
That is pretty lofty company, and if Rod Langway can win back-to-back Norris Trophies based solely on great defense, then Green should win because of his exceptional offence.

Green was never a scorer in junior, but he is the most dangerous offensive D-man in the game now. He controls the PP, he has a wicked shot, and he knows when to join the rush. He is averaging 1.08 points per game, with 70 points in 65 games. If he had been healthy, he might have scored 90 points this year. If he doesn’t win it will be an absolute travesty.

A new name will be engraved on the Vezina this year. Even though Marty Brodeur broke the all-time wins record this year, he hasn’t played enough and frankly his numbers arent Vezina worthy. Tim Thomas, Mikka Kiprusoff and Niklas Backstrom will probably be the finalists, although Evgeni Nabokov and Cam Ward could easily crack the top three.

I think Thomas is the most deserving. His 2.07 GAA and .933 save % is best amongst starters, and most goalies feel that save % is the most accurate stat to evaluate a tenders play. Kiprusoff has the most wins, but he has played the most games, and his 2.84 GAA is in the bottom five amongst starters. Compare their ratio of wins to games played and Thomas dominates again. The late-bloomer should grab his first Vezina and become the first Bruin to win since Pete Peeters took it home in 1983.

The Jack Adams should be the most debated award this year because there arent three clear-cut candidates. Claude Julien, Todd Mclellan, Joel Quennville, Brent Sutter, Alain Vigneault should be considered because of their records, but what about Barry Trotz, Andy Murray or Paul Maurice in Carolina.

Last year, Bruce Boudreau won after the Caps did a 180 under his tutelage. Look at how the Canes have played since Maurice took over. The Blues have been without Erik Johnson, Eric Brewer and Paul Kariya for most of the season, yet Murray’s guidance has them the hottest team in the West since January.

I think Sutter will edge out Julien in a close vote.

The Calder will go to Steve Mason, but it shouldn’t be a landslide win like most are predicting. Nashville’s Pekka Rinnes numbers are very close to Mason’s. Mason has 32 wins, a 2.22 GAA, a .918 SV% and 10 shutouts. Rinne has 28 wins, a 2.28 GAA, a .921 SV% and seven shutouts in eight less games. Rinne is six years senior and played three years in the AHL, while Mason is straight out of junior and is considered the real rookie.

Gregor, any idea why the Flames only dressed 16 skaters the other night in Minnesota? And do you know if Regehr, Aucoin and Sarich will be out long?

– Terry the Flames Fan in Edmonton

The salary cap is why the Flames only dressed 16 skaters and two goalies. With Regehr, Aucoin, Sarich all hurt the Flames had to recall John Negrin and Matt Pelech so they could dress six D-man. Problem for the Flames is that they had no room under the salary cap so they had to send down two forwards just to get Negrin and Pelech on the roster.

The Flames can’t put any of their D-men on the IR, because with less than ten games to play it won’t save them any money. There is no limit on how many players a team can have on their roster after the trade deadline, as long as the salaries dont exceed the cap.

Aucoin is day-to-day, but if he cant go on Monday then the Flames will play a man short again.

Once the regular season is over, the salary cap doesn’t come into play so the Flames will be fine roster wise, but I put in a call to Calgary on Sunday and it sounds like Regehr has an MCL problem and could be out up to four weeks. Sarich has a broken foot, and once he can get his foot in a skate and handle the pain, he will play.

But the Flames are struggling mightily right now, and if Regehr isnt ready come playoff time they will be hard pressed to avoid another first round exit.

It is interesting to see that both the Flames and Oilers will have cap struggles the next few years. The Flames have $45.6 million committed to 16 players for next year and $36 million towards ten players in 2010 when the cap is expected to drop significantly. The Oilers have $45.9 million committed to 18 players for 2009 and $39.2 million for eleven players in 2010. That doesnt leave either team with lots of wiggle room. Will they be forced to hide some salary in the minors, or will they have to trade away players for less than market value?

Have you ever sent an inappropriate text, or one that hurt your job?
– Colin

I have never had so many questions and comments about text messaging as I have in the past week. I have never personally sent one that hurt my job, but I did have one that was beyond embarrassing.

One day after leaving Oiler practice I was driving to the station and promptly started a text. I was dating a girl and decided to text her a cheezy message, I miss you. Can’t wait to see you again and feel your soft kisses. (I know really sappy, but dont pretend all you guys haven’t done it.)

Wanye Note: *crickets*

Well a few minutes later I get a text back. ??? What the hell?

Turns out rather than send the text to Susan, I sent it to the name above hers in my phone, Stoll.

Upon seeing his name come up, I almost crashed my car. I had to call him immediately to explain it was intended for a girl. It’s embarrassing enough when you send a text like that, but compound that ten fold when you have to explain to a guy why you are being Lance Romance in your texts.

He was pretty good about it, except he did forward it to a few mutual friends which made it even worse. Since then I always double check the name before I send a text. And remember kids, DON’T text and drive.

Man, I give good advice.

  • Kent, I agree he shouldn’t be there, but my three finalists were based a bit on what the league will do. Having Mason the Calder trophy winner, means if they nominate Kiprusoff for the Vezina then they get more top end players to the awards in Vegas.

    Ahh, fair enough then. Still, it's a travesty if he gets nominated. Flames have won in spite of him this year, not because of him.

  • @ Chaz:

    Imagine if they did????

    *gets to work on beer teleporter. Realizes amount of work ahead, goes and gets beer from fridge and realizes why beer teleporter does not exist*

  • Wanye Gretz wrote:

    @ David S:
    OilersNation podcasts. Now there is an idea
    *dramatic foreshadowing music goes here*

    how does that work? Does Morgan Freeman or James Earl Jones read the posts for my iPod enjoyment? Because I cant wait to hear Darth Vader talk about Corsi numbers and firing his AK in the air.

  • Harlie wrote:

    Gregor why does Rishaug have a Britney Spears song on his ipod? **I think I just barfed in my mouth**

    Say what you want about her music, but she's smokin' hot. Again.

  • Harlie wrote:

    Gregor why does Rishaug have a Britney Spears song on his ipod? **I think I just barfed in my mouth**

    Rish was very open on the show today. I haven't laughed that hard in awhile.

    Does anyone else have a guy buddy who likes to go to chick flicks? Seriously, those stories killed me. When he admitted to doing a powerpoint presentation in college on a girl for a class project I almost cried laughing.

    .David S wrote:

    Nice post Jason, as usual.
    Just wanted to say thanks for your show on Friday with Brownlee. When you guys started to talk about Brownlee’s 16 cigars a day, I almost drove off the road I was laughing so hard. You guys should really put up podcasts of the Friday edition of JAG – they’re the best.

    It was Thursday, but the 16 cigars from Brownlee is a classic. Who smokes 16 a day?? That's why Brownlee used to be one of the toughest SOBs in the Lacrosse.

    And Podcasts of the show should be coming within a month…sweet….

  • @ Jason Gregor:

    yeah that was some good ass radio when Shauger was on! Also I loved the Brownlee cigar stories and his old rockin and rollin days. He'd get along well with an uncle of mine who still live in Van and is a mid-50's year old Bartender. He never touched a cigarette in his life (unless they were green 😉 ) but in the last few years he got into the Pom Pom cigars and he chokes back a mittfull of those in a day. Hilarious to see. He's got the personality of the The Dude from the Big Lebowski.

    One story I can relay happened about 15 years ago. My Dad was in a panic as he needed to get some items shipped out from Vancouver but a shipping company wouldn't do it quick enough. So he tells me and my little brother to hop in my truck and drive to Van and back with the goods. My Dad said just give Uncle Randy (or Big R as we call him) a call and he'll let us stay overnight at his bachelor pad when we get out there. So me and my brother drive straight out to Van and we leave like 5 message for Big R with no response and no pick up of the phone. He had and still has one of the old school answering machines that picks up the call and puts the message on the speaker so he can monitor and screen his calls (i.e not answer the phone ever).

    So we get out to Vancouver and we pull up to his building and we start buzzing his apartment from the entrance area. By now my brother and I are panicked as we haven't gotten through to Big R and daddy never gave us a visa for a hotel so we are screwed if he isn't home. After buzzing 2-3 times and waiting for each buzz to ring as many times as it can before it timed out we hear this groggy voice answer and then buzz us up. Heck we didn't even know what floor he was on and we didn't have a chance to ask him as he just buzzed and the door opened so we ask the Landlord/Manager and she tells what floor and apt number etc. So my brother and I get up to his door and we start knocking on the door but of course NO ANSWER!

    So we start to doubt we have the right apartment and were about to turn around when the door opens. There's Big R standing in front of us with a Hefner like crushed velour housecoat and it looks like he just rolled out of bed and by now it was 1:00pm! So Big R looks over my brother and I and then he looks down and sees the two suitcases that we are holding and he asks us if he can help us. He didn't even recognize us! So after explaining who we were and why we were in town he lets us in. So then he says "maybe I should check my answering machine" and we all laughed as his machine ran off like 10 messages from me and my brother and my dad and you could hear the desperation in our voices as each message was left after the other one. So we all have a good laugh over that and then he asks how old we are now. We tell him old enough to drink so he says "ok, I just have 1 rule for you guys when you are here. The rule is there are no rules."

    The Dude abides!

  • Jason Gregor wrote:
    And Podcasts of the show should be coming within a month…sweet….

    Very sweet! I'm never able to catch more than the last 15 or 20 minutes due to work and always regret it. Oilers Nation JAG podcasts with Gregor and Brownlee will be a great addition.