Yesterday, Lord Wayne von Gretz IV and TLP talked about all the reasons that they’re very unfortunate to be foolish enough to support our favorite teams. The lists were kept brief — five for both teams plus a Bonus Five (!) for the Oilers, who will miss the playoffs once again, much to TLP’s delight — but could have been longer. Much, much longer.
However, that’s not what tonight is about. Tonight, since this is the last GDB for OilersNation and last GDFD before the playoffs start for FlamesNation, they’re going to talk about everything that makes us happy about our respective teams.
Due to a lack of listable items with two bitterly disappointing seasons coming to a close, these lists will be kept brief.
With the season closing down, or crumbling down in Edmonton’s case, Wayne-o Complain-o and Tee El Pee figured this was a good a time as any to remind everyone why you’re going to scour the stupid sports section every day over the summer to read articles by writers you hate whose opinions, you know for a fact, are ridiculous. It’s the same reason you sat through these two messes of seasons for your respective favorite teams. It’s also the reason you come to our websites with alarming regularity despite the fact you could be using using this time for woodworking classes or something equally constructive.
You love your NHL hockey and, more specifically, you love these two teams.
TLP: If you love the Calgary Flames like I do, you might be a little disappointed that they failed to win the division today (thanks for nothing, Colorado), and you might also disappointed that they’re going to get knocked out of the first round so quickly that it will seem as though they didn’t participate at all, but you’ve always got these five things to fall back on:
5 things to love about the Calgary Flames by TLP
1. Jarome Iginla. He is one of the most fearsome competitors in the league, one of the best players of the past decade, and the best Flames of all time. He is also apparently the nicest guy in the world and a wonderful ambassador for the sport. Plus, look at this smile!
2. Robyn Regehr. Sure he’s hurt right now, but he’s also the best defenseman in the Northwest division and there’s not even a close second. He hits like a runaway gravel truck and he, too, is a great face for the game thanks to the countless hours he puts into his charity work every year.
3. It’s never boring being a Flames fan. Let’s face it, being an Oiler fan must be as boring as watching dog piss evaporate on the sidewalk on a sweltering summer afternoon – and incidentally that’s the highlight of every August day in the average Edmontonian’s life.
But the Flames? Hoo boy. They’re bad/they’re unbeatable, they can’t score/they can’t keep the puck out of the net. Keenan’s a genius/Keenan’s a moron. Trade Kiprusoff/re-sign Kiprusoff. “Sloppy seconds” was funny/no, really, it was. In Edmonton? It’s “Dammit, MacTavish…” every day. Who wouldn’t tire of that besides Edmonton fans?
4. Dion Phaneuf. Insofar as he cannot possibly be as bad next season as he was this year.
5. Mike Cammalleri’s coming back. This is what I keep telling myself anyway.
Wanye Gretz: It’s a rare and terrible day that we agree with TLP on much of anything but it is starting to feel like Groundhog Day around the OilersNation. FMNF, trade everyone, deport Lowe, burn RX1 to the ground and throw all your Oilers merchandise off your balcony in protest. It has all been suggested this season ad nauseum and yet for the most part it has been what the Oilers have been unable or unwilling to do that has kept the OilersNation in a near hysterical state of rage all season. Win the division, come in second in the division, come in top 8, play with any sort of consistently, fire something and finally just end it already. Expectations fell faster than the economy – which is pretty much the only bigger collapse Alberta this year. But it ain’t all bleak, as we shall show you below.
5 things to love about the Edmonton Oilers by Wanye Gretz
1. Things are bound to improve. Hockey Teams are like the economy. They run in cycles and unless your name is the Toronto Maple Leafs you can’t suck forever. As Boston and Chicago have shown this year things can turn around in a hurry if you keep your eyes open and don’t load up on overpriced veterans. Plus you know Daryl “Kay-Z” Katz didn’t get this rich buying underperforming companies. You know he’s gonna make his new investment do something cool sooner or later.
2. Changes will be made at the top. MacTavish seems to be on his way out and speculation seems to indicate Lowe is stepping more into his role as President and away from his role as “still the GM.” Ideally this will mean the good parts of legacy players will remain while much needed new life shall blow into town as a new Coach reports for duty and the Sophmore GM settles in to his role.
3. Souray shook off an injury and mad crticism and delivered the mail BIG TIME. Remember how everyone used to cry about how overpriced he was? Well 23 goals later where are the Souray haters now you ask? Inflicted with uncurable STDs and living in a shed we hope. Souray is a phenomenal offensive defenseman and a snap show to boot. We hope he retires an Oiler.
4 and 5. Gagner and Cogliano. Ok so only two of the three vaunted kid line made it through their sophmore slumps and remain hot. But after this season settles into a bad memory we all now know the Oilers have two bonafide stars in the making. These two players are eventually going to be big parts of a kickass Oilers team, it just won’t be this year.
Let’s hope that this offseason proves as busy as everyone claims it is going to be.
Thanks for reading all year, or in FN’s case, the last two and a half months. As we have mentioned a few days ago the writing, the traffic and the commentary don’t seem to lose much over the offseason so expect the Nation staff back here tomorrow ready to watch the playoffs.
In the meantime, enjoy this completely meaningless game.
Oh and enter the draft if you haven’t already.