PFD No. Not-6: What truth-in-advertising laws?


Welcome to the Preseason Fire Drill, for this, Calgary’s sixth warmup-season game on September 23, 2009.

Batton down the hatches, sound the alarms and man your battle stations, the Oilers are coming hard and fast!

They’re bringing a star-studded lineup tonight, yes indeed. Their website purports that, “Looking at the lineup prepping for tomorrow night, it looks like the Oilers will be dressing their strongest team of the preseason so far. Ales Hemsky, Shawn Horcoff, Mike Comrie, Patrick O’Sullivan, Andrew Cogliano, Sheldon Souray, Lubomir Visnovsky, Tom Gilbert, Denis Grebeshkov and other top vets are slated to play.”

I’m sorry, but isn’t that ALL of their “top vets?” Perhaps they mean they’re hosting a benefit for area veterinarians or former soldiers that survived wars. I mean really, shouldn’t the inclusion of such NHL luminaries as Ethan Moreau, the ghost of Nikolai Khabibulin’s career and Kip Brennan really not qualify as “top” anything?

The Flames, for their part, counter with a veteran-heavy lineup that includes pretty much every good player on the NHL roster except Cory Sarich. And Miikka Kiprusoff is playing too!

But in the interest of familiarizing everyone with these few remaining non-veterans on the roster (“top rooks,”I call them!), let’s get into this: “Better Know a Prospect (or whatever)!”

Meet the Centers

Jason Jaffray — He should do well tonight considering how he did against AHL-level talent last year.

Greet the Wings

Theo Fleury — One suspects he might get a bit confused tonight, given that the last time he played against the Oilers, they were actually good at hockey.

Brandon Prust — He won’t go wanting for a dance partner tonight, certainly.

Colin Stuart — Let’s just hope he doesn’t get much ice time.

Step right up and meet the D

Adam Pardy — He’s competing for an NHL spot and will probably get one.

Staffan Kronwall — Hoo, that Kronwall-Pardy tonight sure is going to be pretty bad, I bet.

(Also there are some goalies)

The only two goalies today are Miikka Kiprusoff and Curtis McElhinney, both sure-thing NHL goalies this year.

You might be able to watch the game on, but I’m not 100 percent sure where their “local coverage” ends and Calgary’s begins, but there you have it.