10 Things to Watch For at the Draft

HOLLYWOOD, CA - JUNE 23:  Tyler Seguin, Emerson Etem, Taylor Hall, Cam Fowler and Brett Connolly attend the Top NHL Draft Prospects At The Hollywood Walk of Fame on June 23, 2010 in Hollywood, California.  (Photo by Maury Phillips/Getty Images for NHL)


It’s quite an exciting time to be a fan of NHL hockey. The NHL  Awards were just handed out, incorrectly (boy, is Henrik’s face going to be red when Bettman tells him ‘horribly premature April fools!). There is the anticipatory excitement of the NHL free agency period opening July 1st can be felt in the air (I can’t wait for the Flames to sign Dean Mcammond!), and of course,  there is the upcoming 2010 NHL Draft. Calgary Flame fans have a lot to look forward to this year, as the team is drafting 13th overall. The team has not drafted this high since the 2003 draft, and it is expected they will be able to acquire a bona fide NHLer. What’s that? Oh no, to the Coyotes? For what? Oh, really? My condolences.

Well then, you’ll have some time to watch then, won’t you, Calgary Flames fan? Here are a few things to watch for as you wait, wait, and wait for Calgary’s first draft selection. In the third round.

1) This draft features plenty of highly skilled Russian players who may be available in the 3rd round due to questions about sign-ability. Look for Sutter to not draft any of them, as good quality, Western Canadian-made skate rags will also be available in the 3rd.

2) If you look closely enough, you will see former Flames first round pick Kris Chucko, waiting tables.

3) If you are attending the draft festivities in Las Angeles, watch out for Danny Rider. No, seriously, watch out, he will mug you.

4) If you are watching the draft from home on the television, look for Doug Maclean and Mike Milbury to criticize other people currently employed as NHL GM’s choice in draft picks. Doug Maclean and Mike Milbury.

5) Look for the Oilers to draft Taylor Hall with the number one overall pick. Taylor is a solid kid, with good size and great hands, with no history of paying for Christie Chorley’s birth control. Allegedly.

6) With a roster that features the like of Dion Phaneuf and Phil Kessel, watch for the Maple Leafs to choose Tyler Seguin with the number 2 overall pick, and become an instant contender in the Eastern Conference. 

7) Watch for the Vancouver Canucks to draft a feral, uncivilized jungle man, who was raised by wolves. After all, Ryan Kesler needs someone in the locker room to teach him good manners.

8) Look for more goals to be scored in the first half of the first round of the NHL draft then are scored in an entire month of World Cup Soccer.

9) Watch for draft to receive absolutely no coverage at all on ESPN.

10) Watch for Sutter to trade next year’s first round draft picks, just for the fun of it. After all, draft picks are for losers.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.