Game No. 15: I punched a man in Scottsdale, cuz he made me cry

The march to two consecutive wins rolls on.

We may never know what actually inspired Brett Sutter to punch that guy in Scottsdale last night, but for the sake of my own sanity, I’m going to assume it was related to that fellow chirping the Flames’ scoring success so far this season. Which, obviously, is to say, "hardly any."

And so if ever there was something around which this team could rally, then perhaps it is this simple battery of a local yokel who mouthed off to a person he undoubtedly thought was not a professional athlete. This team needs wagons to circle. So why not?

The good news is that the scoring woes might continue to be hardly a worry. Even after conceding first to Colorado, the Flames were more or less able to do what they wanted against a barely-professional defensive corps, and ultimately scored four whole goals (never mind that empty netter behind the curtain!). The bad news is that Phoenix’s D isn’t nearly as banged up or indeed composed primarily of eight-year-old children.

But wait, there’s more good news: that Phoenix defense you remember from last year. Stifling. Physical. Fairly talented. It’s not any of those things so far this season. I should know. I have Ilya "2.84 GAA" Bryzgalov on my fantasy team. A third-round pick wasted for sure, at least to date.

And Phoenix’s offense, which was mediocre last year, would give Wojtek Wolski’s left arm to reach that lofty height this year. Their goal output, 2.47 goals per game, is even worse than Calgary’s, and that’s really saying something. Neither their power play nor their special teams have been worth anything.

And on top of all that, Shane Doan, one of the least-appreciated two-way forwards in the game, won’t be playing tonight.

So would you say this is the kind of game Calgary can win? Sure it is. Why not? But have we learned, time and time again, that games they can win are not necessarily games they DO win? Yeah, we sure have.

We — and by "we," I mean the media, Flames fans, coaches, curious passersby and several more intelligent dog species — have been kind of hoping that THIS game (where THIS game is now ANY game) is the one in which Jarome Iginla starts playing like a person who makes $7 million a year to play hockey.

Maybe Sutter can punch him out if he doesn’t do it soon.