SHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Having been outscored 12-1 in the past two ice hockey matches and now tied in the series at two games apiece. That dead quiet you hear on the West Coast tonight is the shocked silence of hard core Canucks fans and the vacuum of tens of thousands of bandwagon fans who have suddenly disappeared.

FOR HEAVENS SAKES VAN

This was the scene exactly 1 hour after the Game three loss on the streets of Vancouver. Can you see all the little people in the street looking bored and wishing they had someone to pepper spray into another dimension? That’s the Vancouver Police, employed at great expense by the City of Vancouver to control the throngs of fans who showed up after wins in Games 1 and 2.

They were expecting Mardi Gras after Game 3 and instead got a live version of that show Life After People.

Somewhere in the last two games the Canucks have fumbled their opportunity to be Canada’s team and the Canucks and their fans are getting ripped to shreds on websites, blogs and in the twittersphere all over the world. Many fans can’t figure out why.

Here. We will give you our best guess.

TAKE IT FROM A LOSER-HARDCORE FAN

We consider ourselves to be a die hard fan of the Edmonton Oilers. As such our joy-misery experience can be best demonstrated with the graph above. We would literally give both of our eyes and one of our legs for the Oilers to have just blown a 2-0 2011 Stanley Cup series lead. We would kill any number of people just to get the Oilers to be swept in a single round.

Things are so dire of late that we actually tweeted Oilers D Ryan Whitney who indicated he was at the game in Boston tonight, telling him to "soak in the atmosphere so you will be ready for big Oilers playoff games soon."

What kind of loser does this sort of thing? The kind of loser that needs to keep hope alive by any means necessary.

TOO MANY OF YOU LOOK LIKE THIS

From the impossibly ignorant move of relighting the Olympic Flame on behalf of Canada to having only ghosts in the streets three games later. How can a City run so hot and cold at the exact same time? It is this idea of bandwagon jumping apathy mixed with the high handed belief that you are "Canada’s Team" that is driving so many into the waiting arms of the Temporary Boston Bruins fans.

Part of the fun of living and dying with a hockey team is that you earn your dizzying highs by experiencing many terrifying lows. You are with them for the ups and the downs all the way through and that is the experience that makes a die hard fan.

There are tons of hard core Canucks fans we have encountered on twitter and in real life who are in complete shambles tonight. Good hard working types who can recall struggling through the days of Corey Hirsch and Ed Jovonovski in the hopes that the Canucks would one day win the Cup.

They remember the failed Mark Messier experiement when Veteran leadership was brought in at an extremely high cost to put the team over the top in the late 1990s only to see an expensive trip to the bottom of the NHL.

Now here they are in what should be their finest series in the past 17 years and they are spending half their time defending their team and half their time defending their fellow fans.  These folks deserve a Cup more than a great many hockey fans in Canada. 

Besmirched by the newly minted Canucks fans that show up by the tens of thousands only to disappear into the ether hours later, they deserve better than this. The City of Vancouver – arguably one of the finest places in the world – deserves better than this.

Hell even the Vancouver Canucks deserve better.

Enough is enough fair weather Canucks fans. Don’t run away into your million dollar condos, fresh fish restaurants and movie sets. Come out into the streets and support the Canucks on the eve of an absolutely monumental Game 5.

  • #94 sized hole where my heart used to be...

    Ya I want vancouver to lose as much as anyone here, but is anyone else at least a little bummed that it means that Seguin wins the cup before Hall giving all the Seguin lovers an extra meaningless argument when they try to say that he’s better than Hall when hes clearly not?
    (I say meaningless not referencing Lord Stanleys mug as being meaningless just that Seguin has had such a small hand in taking them there that that argument has no merit in this player vs player debate)

      • #94 sized hole where my heart used to be...

        I know it wont be settled by a cup win in a rookie season but I was just saying its unfortunate that Seguin will win the cup because I know some Seguin supporters will try and use the argument,

        but what it comes down to in this Stanley cup finals is i don’t really like the bruins so im not cheering for them to win, just for the canucks to lose

      • #94 sized hole where my heart used to be...

        haha touche
        (too lazy to put in the e with the apotrophe thing)
        {i realize me typing in those parentheses probably took longer than putting in the proper e wouldd have… oh well}

  • While golfing last night I was listening to the game on my BB using Tune in Radio. John Shorthouse was starting to plant the seeds of doubt last night by mentioning that Luon8o had let in 12 goals on 46 shots or something. He didn’t sound like the “home town” play by play guy.

    I also heard on the broadcast that EA sports has correctly picked the winners of every series so far? EA has pick Vancouver in 7, maybe they will be wrong this time!

  • Milli

    How do you BOOO your own goalie in the finals???? That is BRUTAL. Oh by the way, did anyone else hear that Loungo was stripped of his GOLD METAL? Ya, he was on HAIRoids!!! I hate that guy, that is why I want them to LOSE! And Tim Thomas, PLEASE PLEASEPLEASE move to Edmonton! Even if he looks like the guy from the Hangover, he is AWESOME!!!!

  • Dan the Man

    Each day my hate for the Canucks grows. Each game I find a new reason to hate them even more. I hate their players, I hate their GM, I hate their coach, I hate their fans, I hate their faces, I hate their smell, I hate their wives, I hate their Grandparents and I might even hate hate their children.

    The Bruins are my new 2nd favorite team.

    Also I hate the Canucks.

  • Oilers4ever

    Atta boy Bruins… Show them Canucks who really has the dominant team… Better goaltending, stronger team and dare I say faster when the Bruins show up…. I called this Bruins in 6 to start with and I hold to that… The Canucks won’t win another game and the Bruins are in Luongo’s head, much like the Hawks were for the last two years until their series with them this year.

    Besides, technically, I bet if you looked at it there are more Canadian players on Boston than VanCity anyways. 🙂

  • Oilers4ever

    someone needs to check if wanye is still alive. i figure he must be pretty remorseful about writing the words “canucks” and “deserving” in the same sentence.

    i get the ace ventura bath tub scene (crying game) image in my head when i think of what wanye must be doing….gross.

  • Quicksilver ballet

    As much as we’d all love to see the Canucks get stomped on, to have it radically ripped from their grasp like this will prompt many to share in a second or two of sympathy for Canucks Nation.

    GO BRUINS!

  • Quicksilver ballet

    Regarding the fans, the picture of them cheering Luongo getting pulled pretty much summed them up nicely.

    You are in game 4 of the stanley cup finals and noteven in dnager of going down in games for the series and you cheer your #1 goalie getting pulled? The guy that got you there?

    If they aren’t able to recognize that they need to stand by their player at that point in time, they never will.

    Shameful really.

    • Sheldon "Oilers Fan for Life!!!"

      Many fan don’t really understand how big an impact fan support can have on a players psyce. If Luongo is back to a ton of Self doubt there are of coarse many factors but the fans are indeed one of them. So is shoddy D-fence and a coach who rules with his heart not his mind. I have a hard time with this series I hate all whinny Canuck fans, I hate the Twins( I think its the Grapes influence and statements about Canadian heart) I hate most of there Jersey Logos. (except the first and the Latest) But I feel for my friends who are thick and thin fans I want them to experience the joy I have known. The joy of cheering for a Stanley cup winning team.

  • fuck off

    @ Wanye

    Wow, great post! I was expecting another “Eat it Van fans!” type of rant but you popped the collar of class and stepped it up a notch with a very perceptive and insiteful view of why the majority of Canuck fans suck. To be honest I couldn’t agree more. Fair weather fans are no fans at all; they’re just the random people who crash parties and trash homes of people they’ve never met.

    Well done, sir.

  • Old Soldier

    First I have to say I am a huge fan of the site and a proud new member of Oiler Nation.

    Regarding the series, I, like most of those posting, have enjoyed the last two games immensely (proof positive when my neighbors complained about the noise after each Bruins goal).

    But in trying to be objective, I have to say maybe its just me, but isnt there something distinctly difficult about trying to like the Canucks. Looking back at the Flames run, or the Sens run, I think it was a bit easier to accept the fact they might win. Perhaps its the fact they were underdogs, much like our own boys in their run.

    But these Canucks, the arrogance from Kesler and Bieksa every time I see a clip makes me want to seriously wish I could get a shot in. There is just something about this team that causes that undeniable hate in me, and I think a lot of other Canadians feel the same way. And because of that disgust I find it hard to feel any empathy for a Canuck fan, hardcore or otherwise.

    No humility, no sense of gratitude for being in the final, all I sense is entitlement and no I will not be pleased if that entitlement is ever rewarded with a cup win.

    • Sheldon "Oilers Fan for Life!!!"

      I agree I so love Canada, Hockey, Maple syrup and What happened in the Olympics BUT I hate a lot of those same things as you described about Vancouver. When Calgary was there in 04 I really did cheer for them but it is neigh impossible right now to cheer for Vancouver. Sad Really.

      • Chris.

        During the Calgary run, my heart betrayed me; and I was almost able to set aside the hate I had been carrying for that franchise since 1986… Then Sutter had his famous “The whole league is against us” press conference: and my hate was fully recharged.

        Gillis, Kesler, Burrows, and Company keep my hate tank on full: I’m praying for a complete Canuck collapse; and should it happen: I will enjoy it without apology.

  • Bob Cobb

    Misery?…you have no idea what it was like being a Canucks fan during most of the 80s, before Trevor Linden and Pat Quinn. Save that one brief fluke-out to the Finals in 1982.

    What’s a couple more blow-outs? I may be the only Canucks fan who thought so, but the Canucks were pretty good last night (I’m not sure if the scoring chance count bears me out, but the corsi seems to support me). Tim Thomas was spectacular, and my hat off to him. I heard he could play this way, and now I’m seeing it with my own eyes.

    • Jano

      Yeah, keep playing “pretty good” and enjoy watching the Bruins run all over you again on Friday night. Twist the numbers around anyway you like, but you were dominated for most of the game.

      • “Dominated for most of the game” … actually those who scored it disagree. Of course, why let facts bother you. I have to say, I enjoyed watching the Bruins run all over me again last night. At least, given your attitude to facts, that’s probably how you saw it, right?

  • Rob...

    Thank you Wanye. Up until now I’ve had difficulty understanding why a cop would ever tazer someone multiple times. I’d have drained the battery on you after that blog… and I like you.

  • Dyckster

    I’d like Boston to win as much as the rest of you would. But I would NOT, I repeat NOT want Lucic on any team I cheered for. He’s Kesler, Burrows, Lapierre, only in different colors.

    Hate the guy.

    Seriously.

    I do.

    Honest.

    BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONS!

  • Oilers G- Nations Poet Laureate

    I have decided to boycott ON for the next 48 hours to voice my displeasure over the worst article ever posted here.

    I am sure this will put Wanye in financial ruin and he will have to move from under the High level to the low level bridge. Serves him right.

    For shame Wanye, for shame.

  • Nieuwy25

    Chiming in from the south, I too could never cheer for that team. All the “cheer Canada” arguements aside, there is nothing endearing about that team. The arrogance and ignorance of both their fans (some exclusions apply) and their players (burrows, kesler, lapierre, bieksa,etc) makes me want to throw up in my mouth a little at the thought of them raising the cup.

    It was no different in 04 for me either. Replace the aforemntioned players with ruutu, jovanoski, cloutier, matt cooke and bertuzzi and you’d think it was the same team.

    As an aside, if I could play one shift in the Show, and only one shift, I’d goon burrows. My life would be complete.

  • Oilers G- Nations Poet Laureate

    Another Vancouver Haiku:

    Win the first two games

    Hammered twice in the Garden

    Monday Tee Time ‘Nucks

    *God I hate the arrogance that flows over the Rockies.

    Go Bruins.

  • OilerLand

    EA Sports predicted the winners in each series (except 1 i think?) but they didn’t account for massive CHOKAGE because it’s actually hard to do that in a video game. Computers are smarter than humans, you see, and a computer would ask “why would you want to suck so bad? isn’t that counter-intuitive?”

    Reminds me of an early Jim Carrey joke “Driving into oncoming traffic is counterproductive!”

    We might just be witnessing the biggest choke job of all time. Might.

    If – Boston can keep up the rough stuff and keep nailing Sedin/Kesler/Burrows

    If – Thomas can play the way he’s been playing

    If – the Boston D can play the way they’ve been playing infront of Thomas

    If – Vancouver’s D continues to look flat, tired, slow and thin (like a supermodel)

    If – Luongo lets in a softie at least once per game

    If – If Boston can score first.

    I will celebrate without remorse if Boston wins this series. I have a feeling Gm5 will be a little closer to start out, but by the end I think Boston flies home with a 3-2 lead. I am thinking Gm5 will be 3-1 Boston.