The Rally Tie


We’re starting trends here, today, Citizens.

Brian Burke. Ties. The only two things that were made for each other more than these two are the pork patty and the barbecue sauce you find in the now immortal McRib sandwich (please come back soon, you tasty behemoth).

It becomes more and more evident with every passing game that Flames President of Hockey Operations Brian Burke is a big ol’ hipster, and that his unkempt and forever askew tie (if we can even call it that anymore) is not the way it is as a product of all the hard work and elbow grease ol’ Burkie has put into that particular day, and more so that he’s doing this shit, FULLY ON PURPOSE. Oh, you better believe we’re onto you, Brian.

It’s a power move that hipsters do, all in the vain of saying you were into it before it was cool (note: Burke’s hair also falls into this category, except if he thinks he’s done it first, Street Fighter icon Blanka has some words for him)

In this case it worked, because today at Flames Nation, we want to make Burke’s tie cool. So we’re starting the rally tie movement.

It all came as we were approaching overtime in Game 3 of this here playoff series. Clutching to hope, false hope, falser hope, and alcoholic beverages, we all sat in front of television screens of all sizes, in locales ranging from on couches to bartstools, desperately hoping for someone, anyone, Backlundone to give our heroes life and prevent your Calgary Flames from inching ever closer to the cliffs of Desperation, a windy ridge one does not dare approach. We needed the Flames to outperform the Ducks, which, hmm, grim, so maybe a touch of luck could help.

And that’s how it began.

Both Mr. Arcuri and myself found ourselves adorned in a Flames rally tie, tied with the traditional Burke knot, in a show of support and, hopefully, luck, for our local heroes. Desperation? One might say so, but the results speak for themselves:

Gord bless that beautiful man.

The Flames are 1-0 when fans wear Burke Rally Ties (also undefeated while an Albertan NDP government is in power!)

So that’s why we’re making the call out to you, the noble Flames supporter.

Get ties. Wear them. Sorta wear them. And then you do you. Do all the things you do as a fan. Cheer. Drink. Hug your loved ones. Crabwalk down your street pantsless in a Flames jersey. Anything (except the wave or the C of Red thing during the anthem, that shit is all thoroughly embarrassing), and hopefully this thing goes all revolution and the results kinda takes care of itself.

Take pictures of yourself in your rally ties and post them on our Facebook and Twitter pages, and we’ll post a lot of the good ones here. You may even win a prize (but probably not, because I’m making this up off the top of my head, but you know, you can win pride, and isn’t that the best gift of all, outside of cash and cool stuff?)

Brian Burke hates you. He really does, even though he’ll never say it. And he’s probably crazy. Just a little bit. But his tie is awesome, and we can use that. Harness that power and let’s get Frederik Andersen’s five hole as open as Burkie’s tie.

Get out there and never tie a Windsor knot ever again