One year ago this week, Flames Nation lost a dear friend.
Our Dear Scorch
Anthony Cook made this video last year, and makes countless others which are awesome
This week marked the one-year anniversary of the passing of Scorch, the best mascot in the history of sport. It seems like only yesterday that he was killing firefighters and delighting the internet, all in the magical few days that he shared the earth with us.
Scorch was replaced by a dog, I think. Maybe it was a puck? Charles Manson? I don’t know and it doesn’t matter. Scorch was the finest. Much like Scorch, the team he murdered for only spent a brief time on earth and left town at the end of the season.
As many of you know, the Flames AHL affiliate are now known as the Stockton Heat and have this for their new mascot:
from the Stockton Heat facebook page
I’m not sure what they’re going for here to be honest. I think it’s some sort of fire bird but I will declare for all to read that I hate it. I hate it more than Scorch hated America’s heroes. Look at his smug face. What’s he pointing at, huh? Why does this bird have eyebrows? And arms? It’s a bad bird if you ask me.
Meanwhile, Adirondack was able to get a hockey franchise consolation prize in the form of the ECHL’s Adirondack Thunder. As such, they had to come up with a totally new mascot even though they didn’t need to because Scorch was the best there was, is, and ever will be. Instead, the Thunder chose some sort of Norse figure:
Dear lord. That face is surely nightmare fuel. Look at him, he’s just staring at that fire alarm, desperate to pull it. He’s fixated. Also, look at the concerned look on the man’s face next to this bizarrely proportioned monster (where is the muscle tissue in his lower body? Someone missed leg day apparently). Another missed opportunity for the Thunder, who could have just copied another mascot which was perfectly constructed as well:
We all loved Scorch and I will personally shake the hand of the first person to get a Scorch tattoo. I’m way, way too feeble to ever get one myself but I would want to support the brave lady or gent that decided to.
Go Flames and long live Scorch.