Welcome to the Game Day Fire Drill, for this, Calgary’s 76th game of the season on March 28, 2010.

As soon as the horn sounded to end yesterday’s 5-0 loss to Boston, which I had the great misfortune to have attended, I said to the friend with whom I went to the game, "Well that’s the worst game this season for sure."

And my friend, curse his cold, black heart, said, "Didn’t the Flames have a bad game against the Blackhawks a couple months ago?"

"Oh," I said, knowing he was legitimately asking since he could care less about this crap team, "you mean that one where they led 5-0 after 9:30 and lost 6-5 in OT and I almost cried? Yeah I guess that would qualify as a ‘bad game’ you son of a bitch." And then on the way out the building, I saw a little kid in a Sharks jersey and it all came rushing back.

There was also a 9-1 loss to San Jose not so long ago. So I guess the thing with this whole season is this: yesterday’s fiasco was only like the THIRD-worst result of the season. And there was that 50-game losing streak or something stupid like that.

It’s been a truly, truly hideous year to be a Flames fan. They’re going to miss the playoffs. The GM that pulled this team from the murky depths of the NHL’s basement has piloted it straight back down again. And where does it end?

Not today in Washington, that’s for god damn sure. This game has all the potential to be several degrees worse than yesterday’s calamity. It could rival the 9-1 shellacking at the Shark Tank. Hell, if the Flames keep it close, like, say, 7-0, I’ll be genuinely shocked.

Please tell me when it’s over.

 

The Calgary Flames (37-29-9 for 83 points. Ninth in the West, third in the Northwest) and the Washington Capitals (49-14-11 for 109 points. First in the East, first in the Southeast).

1 p.m. Mountain time and 3 p.m. Eastern time. All other time zones should become insanely talented.

Verizon Center, Washington, D.C

Calgary is 18-13-6 on the road this year, and has been outscored 8-2 by the Bruins and Islanders on this trip. The Caps are 27-4-4 at home, and have scored 136 goals in 35 home games (3.89 a game!).

Alex Ovechkin — I’m setting the over/under on Ovie’s points today at 4.5. Who wants action on that?

Jose Theodore — He’s won 17 of his last 19 games. The two he lost were a) on the road, and b) in overtime and a shootout. He hasn’t lost at home since Dec. 28.

What they’re about to do to nice Flames fans like me and you — There should be a law against it.

Because even Staios can’t save us now! Enjoy the game, if you can, in the comments section.