The Collected Wisdom of Bob Hartley

When Jay Feaster announced the hiring of Bob Hartley a scant three years ago, I don’t think anybody could’ve anticipated the success he would have fostering the Calgary Flames through their long-awaited rebuild.

But more importantly for sports writers, nobody really anticipated the treasure trove of quotable quotes that coach Hartley would provide the world with over his tenure. To both celebrate his contract extension and ring in the holiday season, we present to you a selected collection of Hartley’s best zingers.

We’re hoping to continue adding to this, so add any we might have missed in the comments!

“It’s beginning to feel like Romper Room.” – referring to the number of young call-up players on the team.

“You can either be in the parade, or watching it.” – discussing the level of systemic buy-in on the team.

“As
much as I’d like shutouts for the rest of the season, his middle name
isn’t plywood.” – on Karri Ramo, during his goaltender’s shutout streak.

“He’s like a canoe in a small lake – no big waves.” – on Sean Monahan’s consistency game-to-game.

“It’s easy to be a sailor on calm seas.” – on hard times and perseverance.

“He’s like the Energizer Bunny.” – frequently used to describe smaller players with high compete levels (notably Paul Byron last season). (Players that are eager and/or respond quickly to stimuli may also be referred to as the Maytag Repairman.)

“Turnovers, they belong in a bakery, not in a hockey game.” – frequently used, particularly last season, describing defensive zone play.

“I don’t think that we looked like a bunch of fat cats out there.” – on his team’s loss in Tampa Bay in November, referring to the team’s high level of compete.